More....

04.15.08

20 weeks - halfway there!!!!!

04.07.08

Had the big u/s today and....... it's another little man!!!! We're so excited :) I can't believe that we have 3 sons. His name will be Elias Rhys. Everything looked really good on the u/s. My placenta isn't embedded in my scar, so that was a huge relief. We go this Sunday to have my VBA2C sign off with an OB so I can have my HB!!! It's all starting to fall into place and is so exciting!!!!

04.02.08

Had an amazing appt with my mw :) It's incredible how this pregnancy has morphed into something so natural and what I think will be beautiful. I was so sure of having to have another c-section, it never occurred to me to go the mw homebirth route, but homebirth is what is meant to be, I believe that whole heartedly. I called for my big u/s and it was scheduled for Monday the 7th!!! Only have to get through tomorrow & the weekend and then we can buy pink or blue!!!

03.28.08

The VBA2C is back on!! Had my first midwife appt and it was wonderful. It was so reassuring as I had some reservations about homebirth, but I do think this is what is meant to be. Not to mention she spent an hour with me and I had no wait at all as opposed to the darn OB where you wait for an hour and spend maybe 10 minutes with them - if you're lucky! We got to hear Peanut's heartbeat which is just the best sound in the world. We'll have our big u/s in about 2 weeks and will find out the sex. We originally were going to be surprised, but I just can't wait to know any longer!!! As long as this baby lives & is healthy is really my only concern, gender isn't so important :)

03.11.08

Well, so much for the VBA2C! I called just to make sure they would do one for me after 2 sections and the OB said he was sorry, but no he can't. I'm at a loss right now. I emailed my doula and we're both working to try and figure something out. I'm not losing hope though. Just makes the road a little more uphill, but I like a challenge :) I'm going to see if I can get in to see my local OB for some pains I've been having, feels like it may be a cyst on my right ovary. Hopefully nothing and I'll have a chance to hear peanut's little heartbeat!!!

02.29.08

Had an appt Wednesday the 27th and heard the heartbeat with the doppler - such a huge relief... again! I am so afraid that something will be wrong, guess it's prior m/c anxiety. But everyday I am getting closer to August and am more assured that I will have my little darling to hold!! In March I start seeing the new OB who is willing to VBA2C me, so I'm thrilled about that as well. I'm hoping that the mw I spoke with and was so highly recommended will have an opening and then I will have my wonderful HBA2C!!!! I would recommend to anyone to hire a doula! Mine is just amazing and I cannot wait to birth with her to help & encourage me :)

02.19.08

Had our first big u/s on January 30th and above is peanut's first pic!!! It was so wonderful & relieving to see him/her just wiggling away. Then to see & hear the heartbeat, just absolutely amazing. Like the first time all over again. What a miracle we are part of to be able to carry a baby :) I was told I'd be scheduled for another c-section on August 23rd, so I'm hoping that I can either find a homebirth MW or go into labor on my own before that. We've also picked up a ton of stuff like the bassinet, glider cradle, bouncy seat, so my shower will be easy on the wallet for my family & friends :) We're taking the boys to Disney next Tuesday, and I have an OB appt Wednesday so I should be nice & tired for it. Hopefully we'll hear the HB with the doppler.... I really need to rent one of those! I'm trying to be as low intervention as possible, but it's hard when you worry so much - lol!!

01.03.08

What a great way to start 2008, had my 1st real appointment and got my beta results back as my early u/s for spotting showed me only being about 4 weeks along. Well on Friday my beta was 1653 and on Monday it was 6151, so yay baby is sticking!!! I also found out after my exam I'm 6-7 weeks which was what I thought all along :) It's such a relief after having a m/c. I feel like I can really start to prepare now. I've already picked out the crib set & all - so excited :) Going to start doing the belly shots soon since this is pg #4, I'm starting to pooch already!!!

12.20.07

I finally got my BFP!!!!! Baby will be due around August 25th, 2008!!!

7.15.07

Hi there :) Well, to start I have the best family anyone could ask for - but I guess I'm biased :) I have 2 beautiful, healthy baby boys (Jacob & Liam) aged 4 almost 5 & 3 respectively. My husband and I have been married for 6 wonderful years. I have had 3 pregnancies so far, the most recent just ended in ectopic on 8/3/07 by methotrexate injection. My births were quite different, both C-Sections, but the 2nd time was definitely harder as far as pain goes. The main reason I think my sections weren't so bad is because I have a very high threshold for pain, never needed those Percocets, and carried Liam out of the hospital and drove later that day. Not to say everyone should do that, it just was easier for me knowing what to expect as far as pain.

With my first son Jacob, I didn't know I was pregnant until I was about 4 months along. My husband has a heart problem and we had to take him to the ER and I ended up fainting and my MIL suggested giving me a pregnancy test. Well I didn't think I could be considering I only had my period twice that year so far, but lo & behold the boldest pink line I ever saw was on that test. I just stared in disbelief, but it was wonderful. The hospital staff had placed me in a room on the opposite side from where my hubby was, so I walked down there crying and they thought I had hurt myself when I hit the floor :) I finally got out an "I'm pregnant" and everyone in the ER clapped and it seemed like something you would see on TV. I had my first OB appointment quickly of course, and U/S's right away. I knew it was a boy, can't explain how, just knew. I ended up having gestational diabetes, but was so fortunate to discipline myself with a strict diet, so no insulin was needed. I was hoping to deliver vaginally, but needed an emergency section as my placenta started to tear away. My beautiful Jacob was born with no problems at 6:36pm, 8lbs 12ozs 21 1/4" long. He is my joy today, such a snuggler :)

Then there's my Liam. My SIL was pregnant at the time, and I just knew I was too, no matter what the tests said. I had to take 3 tests before that positive showed, but I was determined. I was so sick & I swear this was the longest pregnancy ever! No gestational diabetes, it was a very uneventful pregnancy, thank the Lord for that! Liam was a c-section also, but my doctor was anxious to start his vacation, so I was bruised completely up th left side of my belly. Recovery wasn't too bad, but I think I pushed myself too hard. Liam is my daredevil, but so sweet & loving at the same time.

I must confess I am a pregnancy test junkie - it's a horrible addiction, and one I will stop after a twelve step program! It was this need to test that I discovered my most brief pregnancy. This was my heartbreak, the ectopic. I was so overjoyed to see that BFP, but I know now that in the back of my mind something wasn't right. I started bleeding and my doctor was sure I was going to M/C, but he said let's see what happens after a week. Well, I had many HCG tests & scans that showed an empty uterus. I went to the ER for a very light cramp, and the ER doctor used forceps and pulled out a mass which I now think may have been my baby to be - kills me to write that :( My cervix was closed and I refused to believe I lost my baby. My HCG levels had gone up, but then would go down the next time, finally stopping at 208 when I was to be 6 weeks. Those numbers are so low that it had gone along far enough. It was decided that I would get the MTX shot, but I was in denial and actually called to rescedule the appt b/c I thought maybe they're all wrong. I finally came to reality and went in to get the shot. It wasn't bad the Friday I got it, but the weekend was awful with cramps so bad I couldn't move, and you can't take anything for pain as it may have an adverse reaction. It's now almost 3 weeks later and my HCG levels are at 44, should be dropping to 0. I'm taking one of those wretched OTC urine tests and never thought I would be hoping for a negative :( I jumped the gun with this pregnancy by buying maternity clothes, a new crib set, picking out names, and telling family, friends & work because I had such easy pregnancies before, why would this one be any different??!!

I'm anxiously awaiting November when we can TTC again. Faithfully taking my prenatals & gearing up for blessing #4 :) I have made some great new friends through all of this that I hope to stay in touch with and I must thank everyone for their kind words and well wishes. I think it's really amazing that no matter what country we're in, we can find a common bond in motherhood :)