michir's profile

michir
	Age: old enough. Country: US Province/region: Oregon City: Beaverton Partner: Jason Tyler Straite Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: Student
	Online: 1 days ago. Last updated: 18 days ago. Member since: 258 days
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An angel in the book of life wrote down our baby's birth.
and whispered as she closed the book:
"Too beautiful for earth."

My name is Michelle. I recently lost my baby girl on January 3rd, 2008 due to PPROM. My children are my life and what I live for. Being a mother is the best thing that could have EVER happened to me.

MY CHILDREN:
My baby girl who has already grown her wings:
Layla Kayley
1/3/08-1/4/08

My adoptive son who is my world, pride and joy!
Jordan Taylor
5/2/2008

BLOG:

NEWJuly 8th, 2008: Jason took the kids out to the pool today. He forgot sunscreen. Guess what happened? Ellie is very tan with burnt shoulders and Jordan is burnt. Not just sun burned, but burned. Wow. I have a responsible man. He took him to the ped. and he was to bathe him in an Aveeno oatmeal bath and after that and dry, put baking powder on his very burnt skin. We have also given him some baby tylenol. I have not been home yet and he has been crying for about 2 hours. This could be because of the pain or the fact that he usually cries unless he is with me...maybe both?
Oh a happier note, we are redoing Jordan's room. Here is the bedding that we have bought and Jordan's crib is already veryyyyy similar to this one. Also as a gift, Jason sent me an email saying he got a couple new things just for me and Jordan! Those are at the bottom =]

June 29th, 2008: Jordan is getting soooo big! He's laughing now, although its hard to get him to laugh. Ellie is doing much better with him as well. As of now, me and their father have split due to personal reasons that have NOTHING to do with the kids. Being as I take care of Jordan most of the time, it looks like Ellie will go with her dad and Jordan will stay with me. Nothing legal has been done yet, but it just has not been working out. Jason has been displaying less and less interest in his son and I find it ridiculous. I feel that his little one need more attention than he is getting. He leaves him in his crib until he cries, then he fixes whatever it wrong and puts him back. I have come over several times where he had been crying for 30+ minutes and is completely sweaty and tomato red in the face. But as soon as I pick him up he immediately calms down and over a few minutes will stop crying and huffing. This has made me VERY, VERY upset and I am now doing something about it. I told him that this baby will come with me or I am getting the law involved.

On a lighter note, Ellie will be two in a couple weeks! July 13th! She is a doll and has such a cute personality. I only speak german with her seeing as I was raised with that language. She is now starting to speak it more than English! Maybe that's not such a good thing haha. But Jason is not having any problems giving her any attention. She gets it all.

BAHH I hate men.

June 16th, 2008: I'm going to Washington till Saturday and I don't want to leave Jordan! I feel separation anxiety already!!! He is getting SOOOOO BIG. He smiles now and coos when he's happy. Its a joy to see him starting to get such a cute personality! Ellie is starting to realize that he is here for good. She is having problems with that too. She has hit him, taken his things and dropped books on his head when he was sleeping. Ellie has NEVER been a jealous child! We don't know why she is now. If anyone has ANYTHING to suggest or help us with I would gladly appreciate it! THANK YOU =]

May 29th, 2008: On Tuesday night, Jordan went to the hospital. He woke up from a nap, face and arms swollen and a rash on his mouth, neck, chest and arms. He could not really cry at all and we assumed his throat was swelling as well. Jason called 911 and he went to the hospital with him. After many test and getting blood drawn, it was determined that Jordan has a severe allergy to cow and soy proteins. This explains why he gets so upset when he is being fed and after. The doctor immediately started him on a new formula called Neocate. After one feeding he seemed so much better! Now let me tell you...Neocate is the most RIDICULOUSLY priced formula I have ever boughten. For 4 medium sized formula cans, it is $140. I cannot BELIEVE how expensive it is!!! But it is the only thing he can eat. So we will have to do... He got home around 3 o'clock yesterday and has been so sleepy ever since. Out of the 24 hours he has been home, he has slept for about 20! At least me and Jason have gotten some sleep.
My angel wrapped up in the stupid sport blanket that i hate =]

May 25th, 2008: Tomorrow would Layla's due date. I am finding it emotionally hard to comprehend this. I miss my baby girl with all my heart and I cannot believe its almost been 5 months since I lost her. She would either be coming or already here if I would've carried to full term. I feel an ENORMOUS amount of grief as this day comes. Jason is taking me out to lunch and we're going shopping for Nordstrom's half yearly sale and all the memorial day sales. We are taking the kids but I do not know how that is going to go. I feel like I want to be alone for a little bit but I will not turn his kindness away. He is trying so hard to help me feel better about my loss but there's only so much you can do. And I appreciate him so much. I also went to church with my family today and baby Jordan. So many questions! "Is he yours?" "Is he your sisters?" Ah! Drove me crazy. I will probably write more tomorrow seeing as I hate LOADS to say and how I feel. I also started my period a few days ago and am over it now, but that was the first real period I have had since before Layla! Seeing as I had been almost consistently pregnant with her and Taylor up until the end of April. Anyway, Jordan is awake and needs some paying attention too! Here are some pictures!!

My Babies!

Auntie Holding Jordan

He Sleeps Like an Angel!

Grandma Playing with Jordan

May 10th, 2008: I am enjoying my little boy! He is my life and my everything! I haven't experienced this kind of love with mothering before. I love my Layla with everything I am but I never got to hold her the way I hold Jordan or play with her. She is still in my heart and mind at all times but I need to focus on this little one now. I have never been so exhausted either! Working part time and being a full time student and a mommy is tough work!!! I don't want anyone ever telling me their job is hard again! I am having a very good mothers day as well. Here is a picture of my little Jordan now he has lost the rest of his cord already too. =]

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!

May 4th, 2008: GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS. I'll go with the good news first... So my boyfriend learned last weekend that that mother of his first child (Ellie who is almost 2, and I love very, very much) is pregnant with his baby AGAIN but did not tell him until now when she was 37 weeks pregnant. After telling him, she immediately agreed to sign away all her rights for the baby, just as she has no rights for Ellie. She wants nothing to do with either of them and why she kept this one secret from Jason from the start is beside me. But on the 1st she went into labor, with the rights signed away to Jason and soon to be me, a baby boy was born. Jason and I have picked out a name, Jordan Taylor Straite. But...(BAD NEWS) I am still recovering from the loss of this pregnancy and I have had extreme stress in the past week. I started to feel sick on Thursday night and this escalated on Friday night when I couldn't breathe and almost went to the emergency room. Saturday I went to the nearest urgent care, and to sum a long story up, I have pneumonia. Which means I am not seeing my little Jordan anytime soon. I am on antibiotics but I need to wait till I feel better to go see him. I have had a rough two weeks. I've about had it.
Here are some pictures of both Ellie and Jordan. My little ones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I may have lost my angel,
but she is still MY angel,
I am still a MOMMY
and she is STILL my DAUGHTER.

" YOU WILL NEVER FORGET HER..U HAVE TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND DEDICATE YOURSELF TO A FUTURE THAT SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD OF AND SAY:
"THATS MY MOMMY!" "

Comments on michir`s Profile
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Comments 1-25 to michir
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amyxoxo - Thursday, 10 July
he is gorgeous babe xxx

daisymum2be - Saturday, 5 July
Hehe! I was but my baby wasn't! A healthy 8lbs 6, who'd have thought? All the midwives thought he'd be 6.5lbs. We sure showed them!

daisymum2be - Thursday, 3 July
Jordon seems like such an expressionative little man (if that's a word...)! He looks so fun! x

daisymum2be - Thursday, 3 July
Yeah tell me the story! If u want to.

I wouldnt have thought u were allowed to do gymnastics while pregnant?

Hope all is well! x

bchbldgrl - Wednesday, 2 July
Isnt it weird how some biological parents are?? Both my parents werent involved in my life until just recently...my aunts & gma raised me...Jordan is so very lucky he has you as his mother!

Dont worry about Jason though, maybe he's intimidated by Jordan? I mean he didnt know he had a son until he was born right? Hopefully, he'll come around soon...lets hope he's not too late though. He's gonna miss out on a really precious little boy if he doesn't come around...which is a loss to both of them unfortunately =(

That is so great Jordan slept so long..and even while you were at the gym! I just love when they take the long naps lol although Jackson took one today and mommy napped with him so I didnt get much done lol

I have to go get ready to go over to our friends tonight...I'll talk to you real soon! Take care & hugs for Jordan!! xoxo

daisymum2be - Tuesday, 1 July
Well you'll have it again, dont worry!

How do you mean your current boy is not your layla's father? What happened with Layla? Do you have an incomp cervix?

Do you think you'll get custody of the little boy?
Yeah, pregnancy is awesome!

So will you not have ur hands full with a 9-10 month old and a newborn? lol Be fun tho. I wish i was pregnant now!

And i dont know why but i'd love to take on someone else's child. Maybe i'll adopt one day? Seems like a lovely thing to do; adopt an unwanted child. Dont know why, i'm probably talking rubbish, lol

.

Anyway how's the little one doing? How are you too? x

Preggers123 - Tuesday, 1 July
Hi my name is Michelle. I just wanted to say that your daughter is so beautiful! she is so pretty I bet your so happy and proud of her. congratulations and good luck again

bchbldgrl - Tuesday, 1 July
OMG the new pix of Jordan are absolutely ADORABLE!!=) I just love the one in his swing where he's making the face! lol
Hows everything going with you? I read your 6/29 blog & it just broke my heart to read about how little interest Jason has in Jordan =( I hope everything works out smoothly for you guys...

Well I gotta run & get cleaned up while Jackson is dozing in his swing =) I'll talk to you later! Take care xoxo

daisymum2be - Monday, 30 June
ohhh i got it!

Well i'm really sorry for your loss! Do you think you'll try for another anytime soon? x

daisymum2be - Monday, 30 June
Hey! Thanks for the comment!

How come you had two babies only a few months apart?? lol i'm confused! x

bchbldgrl - Sunday, 29 June
Just wanted to say hi =) havent talked to you in a while...hope you & Jordan are doing well =) I just love the new pix you posted, he is soooo cute! He's getting so big!

Jackson is getting big too..he's smiling & cooing all the time and we have conversations all the time =) its the cutest thing ever the way he talks!

Well I hope you're having a good weekend...I'll talk to you soon! xoxo Steph & Jackson

staciexXx - Sunday, 15 June
Automatic update: staciexXx added a new blog: xXxXxX

bchbldgrl - Sunday, 8 June

This is just precious! =) He is just adorable!

bchbldgrl - Saturday, 31 May
Your welcome! =) Oh I bet you were! Glad your lil man is doing okay and his rash is getting better! TTYS xoxo

bchbldgrl - Friday, 30 May

bchbldgrl - Friday, 30 May
OMG how awful for baby Jordan! You must have been so scared! At least they were able to find out what was wrong...sucks he has to be on special formula though but you do what you gotta do. Baby has to have his num nums ;)
Does he still have his rash or did it go away once the doctors figured out what was causing it? TTYS

bchbldgrl - Thursday, 29 May
Yeah its worked EVERYNIGHT so far!! I love it! =)

Hows your week going so far? How are your babies?

katipillaer - Wednesday, 28 May
PRETTIEST MOM
Once you have been hit, you have to hit 5 pretty Moms.
If you get hit again, You will know you are REALLY pretty!
So hit 15 pretty moms on your friends list to let them know they are
pretty!
Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her
down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop
the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important
and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to
make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the
wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
Send this to someone who you think is a special Mom.''

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