misz-cashis-oct08
	Age: 20 Country: United States Province/region: City: Bloomfield Partner: the guy i call my ex in my blogs.but i love him! Children: Pregnant: No Occupation: student
	Online: 1 days ago. Last updated: 39 days ago. Member since: 167 days
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well my name's kasandra but everyone calls me kassie,i live in nj. i am 20 years young. well i lost my baby girl today at 16 weeks. my Angel Nevaeh. i terminated the pregnancy due tp trisomy 21. i believe that souls move on and are born again. and i didnt want my baby to have a life like that. not being able to do many things and possibly being extremely ill her entire life. i love her with all my heart and she knows that. her and God are the only 2 that matter and they understand my decion. RIP my baby girl. Angel Nevaeh 4.17.08. I LOVE YOU..... life is to0 short to be worrying about shit. everything happens for a reason, never 4get. live each day to the absolute fullest..cuz tomorrow isnt promised. =]

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Wednesday, 13 Feb

well..i `d say my mo0ds are officially out of control. dont think im crazyy or nething but i get extremely mad sometimes. i broke my cell phone today. thats not the worst part. i also broke a window in my ro0m. yepp. id say mo0d swings are an understatement. ive never had a mad temper in my life EVER! now its like im going crazyy. this little one inside me is making me crazy! but i cant wait to go thru this whole experience and be a mom. anything for my baby =]

Friday, 15 Feb

well i am officially 7 weeks todayy.! whooo hooo!ive noticed today ad yesterday my constant nausea has eased up a bit. its still off and on all day but i can deff tell a difference =]im so0 excited to watch this baby inside me grow along with my tummy and everything else. well all u preggers readin this.. at least we wont have to worry about losing those pounds for summer!! haha im nervouss and scared tho. ive never gotten this far in a pregnancy. so0 its getting very real now. im relle happy and excited but this whole pregnancy thing is scary to me! its all new! i have my 1st dr appt this tuesday so0 im excited about that to0. maybe my dr will ease some of my worries. well ill let u know how he drs goes! tty all later xo0x

Friday, 22 Feb

im feeling extremely guilty today. idk if its me or the hormones talking but i feel just depressed and sad. all over the baby daddy situation. those of u who dont know i dont technically know who my babys father is. and i like to tell the truth i like to keep it on a real level and i dont see a reason to lie about that. anywayy...heres the story i had just broke up with my ex and started seeing another guy and about 2 weeks later we had sex. we used condoms religiously but once or twice we slipped. and i had sex with my ex bf ONE TIME after we broke up and i even know the exact date. so0 i knew it had to be one of them obviously. so0 i thought it was my ex at first because we didnt use protection. so0 i went for my ultrasound and she sed the baby was measuring 6 weeks and that doesnt add up to the date that i slept with my ex. so0 i assumed it must be this new guys.so0 i told him. and i told my ex. my ex was upset because he relle wanted the baby to be his because we still had alot of feelings for eachother (i lived with him for more than a year and we were RELLE in love). so0 i sed well i relle dont think it is urs..and im sorry. and he sed well if u want this baby then im gonna have nothing to do with u. and i am nott the type of person who can have an abortion. its just not something i can ever do. so0 after a while my ex came around and sed if u wanna be with me then i dont want u to get a dna test. i want u to stop talking to this new guy and let me help u with everything and raise the baby. although this is a relle niice thing that he would actually consider doing that. im feeling relle guilty because i feel like im excluding this new guy ( the guy im pretty sure is my babys father ) from the pregnancy. i havent called this new guy in over a week. and when i saw him at my scho0l he didnt even speak to me. i knew he was pissed. and i would be too if i were him! but something `s clearly gotta give. i cant keep my babys biological father away from him/her. its just not right. and whether my ex would be a `better father ` to this baby or not it isnt sitting right with my not to let the biological father participate in this pregnancy and everything. because i know he wanted to. the other problem is this new guy (probably baby daddy) wants to be with me as well. and hes sed that hes not letting my ex or ne other guy raise his child. he wants to be there and hes sed whether im with him or not hes comin around to see his baby. i guesss in a way im relle lucky to have these 2 guys want to support me so0 much. but thats wat makes it so0 hard. wat do i do?? i relle dont know if i can be with this new guy.i dont know if hes the right guy for me. and i dont know if my ex is either. but i defff feel a lot more comfortable around my ex and i feel that me and him have such a go0d connection. its just relleeeee hard! i dont know wat to do. and i would love to have a prenatal paternity test (dna test b4 the baby is born) but its $1000 dollars and i dont have that kind of money and i know neither of them are going to want to help me pay for it. so0 im deff in that spot stuck between a rock and a hard place as they say. and i dont know wat to do. any advice would be EXTERMELY APPRECIATED. thanks girls. and wow im sorrryyyy this thing is rediculously long. lol xo0x baby dust to all!!!

Friday, 7 Mar

okay so0 heres the latest everyone..ive been hanging out with my ex alott. and i still have major feelings for him. i mean we get along relle well and we have alot of fun together. like we can just laugh and i relle do love him. as for the guy i think is my babys father havent talked to him in a while. he doesnt seem very interested nemore. i mean i havent relle went out of my way but neither has he. so0 i mean idk wats gonna happen there. so0 right now im basically back together with my ex. hes supportive of me and the baby and he wants to be with me and the baby. so0 thats relle go0d. im happy about that. im happy with him and i think thats wat i wanna do. im still gonna let the babys father be in his/her life but just not me and him being together because i dont have those type of feelings towards him.as for baby...everything is still going go0d i assume. i have my testing to make sure everything is okay with the baby on the 19th..which includes blo0d tests and an ultraound! im excited about the ultrasound. ill get to see my baby again. and this time it wont look like a sea horse.lol so0 thats my next big step. after that ill have to wait a few more weeks then ill be able to kno the sex! thatll be amazing..i cant wait for that. anyway ive been feeling a little bit better the past few days..still nausous from time to time but not like i was. so0 im happy about that to0. ill be 10 weeks tomorrow! hope everyone is doing well out there! xo0x

Friday, 7 Mar

well im 10 weeks today everyone! im a little more happy today. ive been kind of depressed lately surprisingy. i mean i know its normal for some pregnant mothers to become depressed. its not that i dont want the baby its just the nerves i think. im nervous about what the future will hold. im nervous about me being a mom and if im going to be a good one. i just want a great life for my baby boy or girl. i want them to have everything. i mean im happy that im pregnant. because if i hadnt gotten pregnant i dont know where i would be. i wasnt heading down the right path to be honest with u guys. i was drinking, doing drugs and partying alot. i even passed out in class because i went to scho0l fukced up from the nite b4. it was not go0d. now that im pregnant ive stopped everything even smoking ciggarettes! i havent had a cigg since the moment i read the positive test. im happy and im relle excited. i was watchng a show about how these women were undergoing invitro vertilization and all these different things just to become pregnant and it was rele expensive like 20,000 dollars expensive and i just thought to myself wow im extremely lucky to be able to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. and its made be feel relle blessed. i just with it could be 9 months alreddy! lol hope all of u are happy and doing well. xo0x

Thursday, 20 Mar

well...i went for my 1st trimester screening today. it included blood test and ultrasound to measure the fluid on the baby `s neck. if theres to0 much fluid they send u for another test (CVS). well they sed my baby `s amount of fluid was 3.2 and anything above a 3 you have to get the CVS testing because there could be chromosomal problems with the baby. i mean is not definite or nething its just like a maybe right now. i have to go back for the cvs testing within like the next week. im so0o0o nervous. i get 1 of the results back in 7 days (the one blood test the did) telling me if my blood showed something bad with the baby. and then the other 2 blood tests im not sure when tthey come back. but they arent for chromosal problems. its just blood test. but i am SOOOO worried its insane. is like i wasnt even prepared for this at all. i never thought this would ever happen ever. i thought everything would be fine. im relle scared now and stressed and im hoping and praying for everything to be okay =/ i got an ultrasound picture. im going to post it. it looks like the baby is giving the finger. look for urself.lol

Tuesday, 25 Mar

okay so0 i just got back from my CVS testing. it was not fun. it wasnt like rediculoussss pain like ive never felt b4 but it was not pleasant by any means. it hurt. i was sqeezing my ex `s hand and he was great =] i wouldnt have been able to do it without him. anywayy i get the results in about 2 weeks. im nervous. i prayyyyyy everything is okay! i relle do. i cant help but think im gonna be a nervous wreck when its 2 weeks from now. well at least its all over with and i dont have to go thru that again. whoo hoo. anywayy i guess this is gonna be a longgggg 2 weeks. i dont have too much pain now. just like random pain every once in a while. but not too bad. i just gotta rest today and stay off my feet. anywayy hope everyone else is doing better than me! lol ttyl