Heya im mollie blake, im 19years old from newcastle live with my partner kevin whos 23, im a realy down to earth friendly person, love being with family and friends and i am so happy and excited for the future with kevin and our little girl booba who is expected due date 8th May :)

Thankyou everyone for nice comments i have read them all and i really appreciate it :), sorry if im late replying or dont reply :( i dont come on here for long so sorry again

Ella Bonita Gosling was born sleeping 11th April 2008 friday 10.29pm

i was due to give birth 8th May, we sadly found out Ellas heart had stopped 11th April 08 friday morning 9am after going into hospital.

ELLA BORN 11TH APRIL 2008 FRIDAY 10.29PM WEIGHED 4pounds 11 and 1/2 ounces she was perfect and beautiful

It has been a massive shok, i felt her fist move across my finger tips on thursday night, now i know that was her saying goodbye, my contractions started at 10pm and gradually got worse, my uterus went solid so i wasnt expecting to feel ella move. I rang the hospital at 4am and they told me to not to come in that it was probably braxton hicks, i was in loads of pain and couldnt hardly breath, kevin and me were getting excited as we thought yes finally this is it. Went into hospital at 9am and they strapped me upto the heart monitor, there was no sound just fuzz. I started to worry but i tryed to imagine it was the machine not working. she walked me along to the scan room and there were 3midwifes waiting looking worried. i lay on bed and she scanned my tummy, i looked away from the screen i saw no heart beat. the midwife turned to the others and nodded her head she held my hand and said "sorry baby has no heartbeat" i didnt answer i just stared at the wall in shok, kevin hugged me but i couldnt move, i sat in silance for 5mins untill i burst out in tears telling kevin that it couldnt be true that i felt her moving last night. i felt physicly sick. i couldnt believe id lost BOOBA (ella) it seems strange i was so happy and excited and now everything crashed down on top off me and she has gone, i never had the special moments to bond and look into her eyes. i was induced and put on epidural then moved to home suite, family came to visit all day. id only dilated to 2-3cm by 6pm but then at 10pm her head was starting to crown. i started to push at 10.15, she was born at 10.29pm, the most amazing experince of my life, i would go through it 100 times over. kevin and me cried and i held her in my arms i felt so happy to cuddle her finally. Id waited so long for that moment. She was so warm . We stayed with her until monday 14th april, i visited her in chapel of rest on friday 18th april, i am going again on thursday 24th april.
Her funeral is April 25th 08 friday 1pm, it will be hard saying the last goodbye knowing i will never hold her in my arms again.
She grew only in my womb, but lived in my heart and that is where she will always be in mine and kevins heart i love her so much

xxx

my labour story is on my blogs, some people may find it upsetting

video of ella(booba) moving in my tummy at 32weeks+6days on 19th march 2008 :) miss you so much angel