March 4, 2008

Fulfilling a Dream

From Disillusioned College Student to Self-employment

"It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to." ~Annie Gottlier

It's funny how things just seem to happen at the right time. I feel like I've been on a good path, but it's still kinda felt like one of those "desert" periods. You know, when everything just seems to be at a lull...but not now. I have my wonderful husband & now my beautiful son. This lifestyle change took a little adjusting to get used to, but I am SO HAPPY!

One of the hardest, biggest changes has been adjusting to life after college. I spent 8 years of my life as a college student & before that pretty much my whole life revolved around school (call me a nerd I LOVED school since I began at age 4). When I entered the workforce after graduating in 2005 I was so miserable. I hated sitting at a desk Monday-Friday dealing with people & their problems & the shortcomings of someone else's business. I was tired of my ideas not being heard & my solutions to problems being ignored.

I have had so much energy & ideas pent up inside of me trying to burst out, but I just couldn't find the right outlet. I was so demoralized by the selection of jobs out there. I just couldn't get into the job search. I could care less if someone wanted to hire me or not because I really didn't want any of the jobs I was applying for. I knew I didn't want to work for someone else. I didn't want to get paid an hourly wage. I wanted to work when I wanted to work. I wanted to benefit financially from the amount of effort that I put in. Now that I'm a mom, I want to stay home rather than putting Isaac in daycare, but I don't want to just be a housewife. You can take the lady out of the career, but you can't take the career out of the lady! I don't want to pursue something that will require me to go back to school before I can get started...I've spend enough time sitting on my behind all day everyday at a desk. Someday is here now. I want to be my own boss Now. Not when I have enough money to buy a traditional business. Not when I have the "right" education to get the "good" job. I really prefer being the one running the show, but I don't want to reinvent the wheel.

Last week the answer seemed to fall down from heavan. Somehow something just clicked! It's an idea I've had in the past, but it was never the right time & the circumstances were never right. For instance, I had registered as an Arbonne International representative last year after quitting the Princeton Review, but never placed a single order...I just couldn't afford the stuff...especially being jobless! Well, my renewal came up last week...it was $15. I was thinking that it would be a complete waste since I never did anything with it for a year. I just wasn't interested enough in it. Plus I had a lot on my plate. My grandmother was very ill & passed away last April. I was so depressed. I was pregnant & dealing with all of those hormones. I was looking for a house for a while, although it ended up having to wait another year (soon we will begin again though), I had a wedding to plan & a honeymoon to attend & finally the birth of my beautiful baby. I also sold Mary Kay while in college, but I was so overextended I could barely squeeze enough time in to sleep at night. I sold Avon when I was 18, but really just wasn't ready. I didn't have a lot of job experience & noone really mentored me. They just signed you up & basically threw you in & said "sink or swim". I mainly just bought stuff for myself so it defeated the whole "making money" thing. I tried it again when I moved back to Louisiana from Ohio, but I was so depressed & miserable that I couldn't get my mind right. I was way too easily discouraged at that time. One thing you definitely need in that kind of business is a positive attitude & I just didn't have it.

Now it's a new year & a new beginning. My family is adjusting to our new life together. We've been financially squeezed with our huge wedding debt, paying for the tremendous amount of medical bills (despite having INSURANCE), and STILL trying to save $ to buy a house this summer. We basically afford the necessities, pay the bills & everything else goes to savings. I'm a FEMALE, though, & there are just things beyond food & shelter that a girl needs! I haven't been able to get my hair done because it's so expensive. I hate going to cheap places because it seems like they always manage to destroy my hair & I always leave regretting that I had gone there. I love shopping & really need clothes, especially because my body has completely changed after the birth of my son. I have an entire wardrobe of clothes that don't fit me. I'd love to join a gym, but it's just a luxuary I can't afford right now. I also really need a new car, I'm afraid mine will not last much longer.

I had been racking my brain trying to figure out a way that I could start contributing financially while not sacrificing what it was I was looking for in a career. I knew direct-selling was the path for me. It would use all of the skills I have been building upon all of these years as a student & working. I knew it would give me the freedom to pursue my ambitions while providing a structure & support system to help me be successful. I remembered that it was only $10 to sign up for Avon. It occurred to me that rather than renewing Arbonne for $15 when I didn't even use it in the first place, why not try Avon out again in these new circumstances. It was like a lightbulb went off. I immediately called the Avon office & told them I want to sign up. An hour later I was at the office picking up my new representative kit. I've been working on something for Avon everyday since.

It's like my passion has been renewed!!! I love the training & support they offer. I love that the name "Avon" speaks for itself. I love that I can actually AFFORD their stuff & I love that I'm selling a brand that I've loved since childhood! Finally, I've found something I can get excited about. I remember as a child going door-to-door with my stepmom delivering catalogs. I remember the excitement of getting the orders in, bagging them up & distributing them. It made me feel kinda like Santa Claus. I remember as a teenager my mom & Grandma being involved in Avon. I knew every Christmas I'd be getting my favorites. I haven't actually been a customer for years & actually miss my favorite products so much. There's just something different about shopping at Wal-Mart or a department store...kinda impersonal & with noone to help me decide what's best for me to use.

Now I'm taking the Avon training courses online & learning so much. It's going to give me the confidence I need to represent the product to potenial customers. Now I have so much more job experience & I know what it takes to run a business. I'm without a doubt in the right frame of mind. I'm bursting with positivity. I KNOW I will be successful. I plan on making the bulk of my money from doing fundraisers once I'm confident enough in my knowledge to approach different groups who could benefit. Of course I'll do the individual stuff as well, but that part usually builds slowly as you begin to gain loyal, repeat customers. I know that takes a while. My goal is to do one fundraiser by this summer to contribute to our down payment.

This is my personal story, but I know that so many people experience this type of struggle. If you have a dream, but lack confidence or experience, don't let that stop you. Find a mentor, join a support group, read everything about your dream that you can find. Like the Nike slogan says..."Just Do It"! Do something to work towards that dream everyday. Every journey starts with a single step, just remember that.

p.s. I have a website if you have a dream to fulfill through Avon, www.youravon.com/cgrenat

Friday, 25 Jan

After a grueling 8 years and zillion jobs later, I graduated LSU with a degree in Political Science. Now I have a career as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I never, ever thought this is where I `d want to be. I saw myself as a career woman. I wanted to BE somebody. I wanted to do important things. I saw myself as a Feminist. After being out there for a while in the land of the 9-5 (where I longed to be for so long), I realized I HATED it. I yearned for something more. I wanted to be a mommy! I wanted to take care of my house & my husband. It `s so ironic now to hear myself saying these things. I used to think women who wanted things like that were uneducated simpletons. Now that I `m wearing their shoes, I rather like them. I used to wonder why someone would `throw away ` their college education to be a housewife. I couldn `t, for the life of me, figure out what was wrong with them. At the same time, I constantly pondered how I could make my mark on the world. What could I do to better the lives of people around me? What was I meant to do? There are so many things wrong with the world and families. I know because I grew up in a very broken family...if you could even call it a family. I became constantly overwhelmed. I volunteered to help the abused children, the abused animals, to clean up the environment, to help the best candidate win. I worked 2 and 3 jobs at a time while attending school full-time. I went out as often as I could. I tried to save my friends and family whose lives were always falling apart...in the meantime I could barely keep my own life together. I bounced from relationship to relationship searching for something permanent. I rarely slept more than 5 hours a night when I wasn `t pulling all-nighters (be it studying or partying). When college was over...all of that chaos came to a screeching HALT!My life is solid now. It is so much calmer and more meaningful. My education comes very much in handy these days. It taught me so many things. My work experience has also prepared me for this new role. I can run a household and a family now. I `m not perfect at it and I know I have a LONG way to go. I am learning to organize and to cook. I am appreciating the unconditional love from my baby and Mike. I am so grateful to have a husband who values my new role. He doesn `t mind supporting his family and I don `t mind supporting him. Wouldn `t society be so much better off if we didn `t have to feel ashamed of putting our families first? I want my son to have the best care and education a child can have. I know he will because I will be the one providing it! I don `t want to worry about him being neglected in a daycare or feeling like his parents don `t have time for him. Believe it or not I am still studying like crazy. I am taking my education so much more seriously than I ever did in college. I am learning the most valueable lessons and skills of my life right now. I read constantly on how to care for my baby and home. I know this kind of life is not for everyone, but it `s working for me and my family right now! There are some sacrifices we have to make...I don `t drive a brand new car or wear the latest fashions. I can `t get my hair highlighted every 6-8 weeks or my nails done. We may not have the best of everything, and may be cutting coupons & living on a budget, but it `s WORTH it to me. I know that we will own our own home soon. We `ll still travel and have adventures. We will have a boat and probably even a vacation home someday. I WILL write a book. I still have career aspirations, but at this point in time I `m right where I need to be. I stopped and listened to myself to find out what I really wanted out of life and not what society told me I should aspire to be. I `m glad I `m finally listening to myself.

Isaac turned 6 weeks old yesterday. I measured him and he's around 24 inches & weighed in today at 13 lbs! He's getting so big so fast. He's even holding his head up for long periods of time. I'm so proud of him. I dreamt last night that he was starting to crawl already! On a sad note, my favorite kitty in the world went missing. We can't find her anywhere. I'm posting flyers & doing everything I can. I think someone kidnapped her. She goes up to complete strangers & hugs them. She'll even jump into anyone's car!

October 19, 2007

Isaac Michael Grenat was born at 6:19 p.m. He was 22 inches, 8lbs 15.4 oz. I woke up with back pain at 4 a.m. then my water broke. I had no doubt it was my water breaking because it just never stopped. I was scheduled to be induced this upcoming Monday, but baby had other plans. We rushed to the hospital where they checked me & I wasn't dilated except for the 1 cm. So the started the Pitocin to get it going. By later that day, 3 or 4 maybe, I was finally dilated enough to start pushing, but I was way too wore out by then. I had an epidural, but somehow it didn't alleviate all of my pain. I still had incredible upper back pain. They kept moving me from one side to the other. I hated that I couldn't feel my legs. When I was on my right side Isaac decided to curl up in my ribs which was so incredibly painful that I couldn't stop crying. They kept giving me apple juice to wake him up which only made my heartburn & reflux 100 times worse. I kept throwing up. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours, but his head wouldn't budge. I could see his hair the whole time, but he was turned the wrong way. The doctor couldn't turn him either for some reason. She said she didn't feel comfortable. It was something about one of us had too much swelling. Finally we ended up doing a C-section. I had been running a 102+ degree fever for some reason too. They ended up putting IVs in him to give him antibiotics. He ended up having jaundice & having to be under lights. We were in the hospital for 5 days. When we came home, he still had to have a home health agency come out & monitor his bilibrium levels & I had to keep him on a light bed for another 3 days.

October 15, 2007

I'm getting anxious. Everyone seems to be in a big hurry for me to go into labor, but I'm perfectly happy waiting until the due date! Yesterday we went to the new Cabelo's so I could do some walking...I'm feeling so UNFIT these days. On the way home I had awful shooting "down there" pains. I don't know what you'd call them. I usually have them at night. They don't fit the description of what everyone tells me contractions are like, so I really don't know. They went on for about half an hour, then stopped. I'm finding myself worrying constantly about how Isaac will be. I just watched a thing on autism this morning & got all scared with the "what ifs". I also worry about things like Down Syndrome & things like that. All three of my grandmother's brothers were born deaf and her sister had two mentally retarded children. I keep looking back over the course of my pregnancy hoping that I didn't do anything that would make for anything but a healthy baby. I know I should stop worrying, but it's a pretty hard emotion to turn off.

October 13, 2007

Went to the doctor on Thursday. She did an exam & says I'm 1cm dilated. I asked about effacement & she said that my cervix was still very thick. I guess that means 0 effacement? She also told me that she wants to do an ultrasound with next week's appointment to check on his size & position. I was surprised & very happy! I'm wondering if it has anything to do with me gaining 7 lbs in 1 week??? She didn't say & I didn't think to ask. She told me she'd be able to give me an approximate weight...which is so cool! I'm just happy that I get to see him & I have a time & date!

October 8, 2007

Wow, I can't believe I only have 20 days until my due date!!! I had my shower on Sept. 30 & got a few necessities. We actually finished putting the bulk of the nursery together just this past weekend. I was very disappointed that my mother didn't show up to my shower. I haven't spoke to her since. I have decided that I am tired of being abandoned by her & that I'm not interested whatsoever in her being a part of my or my child's life. She left me when I was 6 years old with her ex who turned out to be an abusive child molester. I didn't see or hear from her again until I was 14 years old. I have tried to forgive & forget the past, but I'm realizing she will never be the mother I want or need & I don't want to expose my child to her. It hurts so much, but I have to accept what I cannot change. I want to focus on the positive & that is my new wonderful family. Mike is the best! I am so happy to finally be his wife! I am going to do everything in my power to be the best mom a child could have to my little Isaac. I grew up not ever knowing who my birth father is & having a mother who abandoned me. I am going to give this little boy all of the proper love & attention a child could want...I'll probably be one of those suffocating moms! Good thing I have Mike around to balance me out! I really want to move away from Louisiana & my "family" here. I want a fresh start in my life. My last day at work was Friday, so if Mike finds an out of state job somewhere I'm ready to pack & go! Wherever we end up, I want it to be where we stay because I was moved around my whole life. I couldn't even tell you all of the places I lived or school's that I went to. At last count, it was around 23 schools I had attended. I want my son to have permanance & security in his life. We plan to be settled & buy a house before he is old enough to start school. I am so ready for my little baby!

September 17, 2007

Just a quick update

I'm back at work...yes, at that awful law firm that I couldn't get away from fast enough. It's not too bad. It's part-time without all of the responsibility. It's a mutually beneficial relationship right now. I need the money & they need the help. I am still counting down until my last day, Oct. 5. I'm getting so nervous because I'm about to have my little one!

August 14, 2007

Well, I'm finally a NEWLYWED!!! I am glad the wedding nightmares can finally come to a halt. I'm still having CRAZY dreams though. Last night I had one dream which was very similar to one I had when I first found out I was pregnant. I dreamed that I had never gone into labor or anything & suddenly, there was the baby. This time he was born the day after my wedding. I was just laying in bed at home. He was still attached to me with the umbilical cord. For some reason I was working at some restaurant & was worried about missing my shift...the next day I realized I had never called to let them know I couldn't make it because I had given birth (I'm unemployed in real life). People kept coming by to see the baby & I kept looking for it because I couldn't remember where he was (almost like an object that I had lost). I ALSO dreamed last night that Mike & I were traveling down the coast (Pacific) & were trying to find a place to sleep, but all of the places were more like hostels than hotels & the guests were all there for some weird water sport that I don't think exists in real life. It was really late & we could only stay if we had the proper equipment for the water sport. We were going there specifically for snorkeling, but had left our gear at home (perhaps this is an anxiety dream for our honeymoon this coming week to the Carribean in Mexico?). At one of the places the person running the place was very annoyed with us for arriving so late & said we would wake everyone, so we left. At the next place we were standing just inside the building talking to a woman running the place & the ocean was just hitting outside her door. I remember being so scared because I thought it might wash us away. It turned pretty much into a nightmare from here. It was when I saw the water lapping at the door that I realized how muddy & turbulent the Pacific was & wanted to leave & go back home right then. As we were trying to leave, there was a huge storm & huge waves splashing everywhere, trying to carry us back with them to disappear forever. Then a killer whale kept washing up in front of us & kept trying to get Mike. I kept trying to save him, but then it tried to get me too. Then I realized our cat, India was there & the whale was trying to get her too. After I had successfully got her out of the way, I realized another cat was with us (a ferral that we have been feeding the past two years that we've named Smokey) & the whale was trying to get him too~! What a nightmare. Just before I woke up I was having another dream about two women who were lesbians who had just had a child. They were doing some type of documentary about them being just as good of parents as anyone else, but as they were talking they were walking in a river. One was stroking a crocodile talking about knowing what to do to handle it. Suddenly, I became the woman & the crocodile kept trying to bite me. I was in the water & couldn't get footing, so I kept trying to hold its mouth closed, but it kept trying to turn and turn in the water to drown me. Somehow I made it out of the water, but the crocodile was chasing me...it could run just as fast as I could & the phone rang...suddenly I was awake...THANK GOD! I have nightmares like these ALL OF THE TIME!

Wedding Day

We had to be in Mississippi by 11 a.m. to do our rehearsal. A few of us met in Denham Springs so they could follow us there without getting lost. Mike & I fought the entire way there. It didn't seem like a good start to the day. Once we got there, we did the rehearsal...I was so stressed out with trying to coordinate what to do with our entire entourage for the day. I'd have to say the stress peaked there & never rose again.

My sister, niece & I went to the salon to get our hair & my make-up done. We were there pretty much the whole rest of the day. We made it to the lodge in just enough time for her to get her make-up on, me to see the beautiful job the florist did & to say hello to the crowd that was there already & then to get dressed. I didn't even have time to be nervous. My stylist said I was the calmest bride she's ever seen. It wasn't until I saw that we only had 15 minutes until time to walk down the aisle that I started having a hard time catching my breath. As soon as I walked through the door my eyes welled up with tears. The ceremony was beautiful. I was a little worried about the vows the Judge used because I had never got to see them in advance. She seemed to be wanting to keep them a secret. I had actually asked to see them, but she never let me. I should really learn to trust professionals, though. They were exactly what I didn't know I wanted to say. She talked about the importance of marriage in society. I couldn't agree more. I hope I can get a copy. I've never seen Mike look more adorable. The reception went perfectly. We had way more people than we had imagined would come. We really only planned on 40, but it was closer to 60 that showed up. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. There were little sparkly hearts all over the tables as part of the decor & by the end of the night they were stuck all over everyone's faces...even the elderly women. It was too funny. The other funny thing was the bouquet/garter toss. The women lined up to catch that bouquet. My aunt caught it & you could almost feel the veil of disappointment sweep over the other single ladies who missed it. For the garter toss, there was only a handful of guys. When Mike shot it back to them, you could see them half-way attempt to grab it, feign disappointment & let it hit the floor. My four-year-old nephew happily grabbed it up. Silly boys.

I think my favorite part of the entire day was the Bed & Breakfast we stayed at afterwards. It was the most beautiful place I've ever stayed. They had chocolate-covered strawberries & non-alcoholic pear champagne waiting. Our host also brought us hot tea & small cinnamon muffins to snack on. We had a hot tub if we wanted to use it (I didn't ...being pregnant...it's a no-no), but we did get to enjoy their beautiful claw-footed tub draped with lace curtains. They had ever amenity you could imagine...I'm not sure any hotel could compare. When we woke up he had breakfast (DELICIOUS), juice & coffee ready for us.

I had been dreaming & imagining of every possible scenario that could go wrong. I've read that something ALWAYS goes wrong & you just have to roll with it, but NOT A SINGLE THING went wrong. It couldn't have gone more perfectly. I am hoping the honeymoon to Mexico next week goes just as smoothly.

August 3, 2007

Wow, I'm 27 weeks & 5 days today! Isaac is moving soooooo much that he makes me think he's twins! When he starts moving it's like he doesn't wanna stop. I actually felt a little body part yesterday! It was so cool! If I try to push on my belly, though, to find him it hurts. My belly & especially my belly button is SO SORE! The weirdest thing is how stretched out my belly button is & how squishy the skin in it feels. I still have an inny thank GOD! Also, no stretch marks yet. I'm still not out of the water yet...someone said they can appear around 8 months or even AFTER giving birth! We'll see. I weighed in at 172 lbs on this weeks doctor's appointment. I wanted to cry. I now weigh more than Mike! We moved the birds out of the baby's room so that we can start prepping it for paint. We are doing a pretty pale yellow. The theme is Classic Winnie the Pooh, but people keep buying the Disney stuff, so it looks like it'll be a mix of the two. I like Classic better, but I'm sure little Isaac won't care. I've been watching all of the baby shows on tv & I cry with the new moms. I get so EMOTIONAL! I love listening to Isaac's little kicks on the baby monitor that we got. I haven't been able to find the heartbeat lately (he's being stubborn), but I did get to hear it beating swiftly at the doctor's office so that's reassuring. I want to do the 3D/4D ultrasound so bad. Money is TIGHT right now. Our wedding is next week & honeymoon the week after. I'm ready for them to get here already so I can put all of my focus (and money) into preparing for little Isaac's arrival.

July 27, 2007

Well, I'm 26 weeks & 5 days pregnant. My stomach is getting HUGE! I can feel it stretching as it grows. I haven't gotten any stretch marks YET...but I'm not counting them out. My sister never got them, but my mom did, so we'll just have to see. I think the worst part of being pregnant is the heartburn/reflux. I wake up from a dead sleep with acid coming up. I've had to start sleeping in an almost sitting position. I wake up every couple of hours throughout the night & sometimes I can't fall back asleep. I'll be up from 2:30 a.m. until 7 a.m. sometimes. It's a good thing I'm not working right now or I'd be one cranky lady! I feel bad because I wake Mike up all night with my tossing & turning & he DOES have to work & he works HARD. He's out all day in the Louisiana heat pretty much from sun up to sun down. He's about to start school too. He's going for planning & estimating. He wants to get out of the field & into the corporate office for his company. He only has two classes left & now he's talking about going to school for safety too. His company has been trying to get him to go that route for the past three years & he's been resisting it. He's very ambitious. I love that about him! I do everything I can to support him. I think he's going to be such a wonderful father! I never thought I'd be the "stay at home mom", but it's looking like that's where I'll be for a little while. I've always been soooooooooo ambitious myself. I'm the first in my family to ever attend college, let alone graduate. I've always been involved in so many things, volunteering, advocacy, working 2-3 jobs at a time. I've really worn myself out, so it's kind of nice to take a break & give all of my time to my little baby. I don't want his care to be in someone else's hands. I want to be there for every moment & teach him so much. Eventually I want to start my own business, but it'll probably be when Isaac is in school. I'll just have to wait & see!

July 19, 2007

So far so good right now with everything. My biggest worry is my upcoming honeymoon. We will be flying to Mexico & plan on doing some snorkeling & adventuring. I'm the most worried about the flight & the possibility of going into labor or something while there!!! My doctor is giving me permission to go & writing a letter for the airline. I asked her about the possibility of having the baby there & her only response was "I guess he'll have dual citizenship then". I guess we'll see. The honeymoon was paid for over a year ago & given to us as a wedding gift...we've already changed it once & my honey-pie really needs a vacation. I'm just scared to go & scared I'll be no fun at all while there. I'm crossing my fingers that it all goes smoothly!

July 13, 2007

Ugh! I spent last night in the emergency room. It wasn't for me, though, it was for my kitty, India. She's our only outdoor/indoor cat. When my fiance' came home from work last night he hurried in the house asking me what was wrong with her. I ran out of the house, tripping over my Siamese on the way, to see. She was sitting in our neighbor's yard & wouldn't move. When I tried to pet her, she'd growl at me. Normally she meets Mike at his truck & meows & loves on him. She NEVER growls at us either. I tried to examine her, but she wouldn't let me. I went & got her favorite, a can of cat food, & set it out for her to see if she'd come to it. She was able to run to it, but she looked kind of crooked & stumbled to stand up & limped on her back left leg.

We called the emergency Vet @ our old college (LSU). We left dinner on the stove & went straight there. We were there from 7:30 until MIDNIGHT. I was STARVING. It was HORRIBLE & we will definitely not go back there. They told us it would only take about 30 mins. to 2 hours & wouldn't let us leave to grab something to eat. COULDN'T THEY SEE I WAS PREGNANT & HUNGRY? They did X-rays, but then, to top everything off, the machine went down. The vet (who looked like she just graduated from high school) said that she only saw the radiograph for a minute, but she definitely could tell that her hip was fractured & that it couldn't be from a fall. My poor little kitty! I wonder if she was sitting out by the road & got clipped by a car. What if someone kicked her really hard? They couldn't give me any information about how it might have occurred because they didn't get to examine the X-ray for long enough. They will supposedly call me this morning after they get the machine back up. Because it's not a limb-bearing fracture, they said to just keep her in a small room. I asked for pain medicine for her...she almost didn't want to give it to me because then she might try to jump on stuff because she didn't feel the pain. The total? $200!!! What did they do? Not much of anything! Like I said, we will not be going back there. There are other emergency vets & I'll take my chances with a different one should the need arise (hopefully it won't)!

Now I have FIVE cats in my house. We had been trying to figure a way to let all of our cats be indoor/outdoor before the baby comes, but now I'm truly at a loss. We had been searching for a house that was safe enough for them to roam around outdoors, but that just didn't end up being in the cards for now. I don't even want to let India go back outside. The only reason she's the only one that gets to go out is because she DEMANDS it by using the bathroom (#1 & #2 at the front & back doors) & trying to beat up the other kitties. I'm not sure how we can co-exist with FIVE indoor cats, THREE birds AND a newborn baby in our small 2 bedroom house! Getting rid of any of them isn't an option. Buying a new house isn't an option. Putting them outside isn't an option. I'm not sure WHAT to do! The closer it gets for baby Isaac to arrive, the more claustrophobic I'm feeling with all of our animals in the house. I keep having dreams about chasing the birds (& other birds that aren't ours) around the house & trying to put them in their cages & the cats keep getting in their room & I'm fighting with the cats trying to keep them out & from getting the birds, fighting with my brother for leaving the door open letting the cats in & fighting with the birds who keep sneaking out of their cages so that they don't get eaten by the cats!

July 10, 2007

I had my 24 week appointment today with them measuring my stomach for the first time...it was 24cm exactly. When we listened to his heart rate it was 147 bpm until the nurse poked my belly. Little Isaac gave a swift kick to the device & the heart rate jumped to 150! So funny! He's sitting so low & kicks me hard. I had sore spots that felt like bruises & the Dr. told me that it's probably from him kicking me. I get fitted for my wedding dress alterations on the 16th for the wedding 8/11/07. I was a little worried that I'd grow too much between now & then, the Dr. told me to expect to grow about 1 cm./wk. That helps...hopefully. I've decided to do the nursery in Classic Winnie the Pooh. I loved it so much as a kid & I'm so excited to start decorating!!! We've decided to postpone the house hunt & renewed our lease for one year. Our problem right now is that we have a 2 bedroom house. The spare room houses our three birds. We have to keep them in a separate room from our cats or it could be disastrous (the cats like to lunge at the cages & try to get the birds & it, of course freaks the birds out). The birds lived in our bedroom for four months while my brother was staying with us and it drove me insane. Two of them are lovebirds & they are SO LOUD. I swear I have lost some of my hearing. They wake up at the crack of dawn. In no way shape or form can they share a room with Isaac & I do not AT ALL want them back in our room. The only other room with a door is the kitchen & everything I've read on birds said NOT to keep them in the kitchen because there are too many harmful things for them in there, like cooking in a nonstick pan on high heat. I love my birds AND my cats & I'm just not sure what in the world to do!!! I've got to make room for my little baby's arrival!

July 7, 2007

So much has been going on. I'm so glad that I quit my stressful job, I don't know how I could have handled that along with everything else! Being pregnant isn't really adding to the stress at all...it's almost the calm in my life right now! We are trying to buy a house AND plan a wedding right now. I am having nightmares about both. I also have trouble going to sleep at night, probably to avoid the nightmares! We made offers on two separate houses & both times they accepted someone else's. It's devastating to go through, especially because the first house we formed an emotional attachment to immediately. The worst thing, though, is that our lease is up for our rental house at the end of July & we have to find & close on a house before then! This along with the fact that a lot of balances have to be paid off for the wedding this month. We had planned to use credit for this, but now I've learned that you shouldn't use credit between the pre-approval & the closing, otherwise it could screw things up!!! I hope little baby Isaac can't feel his mama's stress!

June 23, 2007

I am really having problems with Sciatica pain right now. I originally was injured in 2003 while training for the Marine Corps at Officer Candidate's School. I had fallen off of the obstacle course & landed on my butt. Two days later I could barely run...it was horrible. I was discharged & sent home & given disability and received 6 months of Physical Therapy. I had a lot of problems, though, with the military & getting the doctor's bills paid. I eventually ended up paying for a few things myself & not renewing my benefits because I was just too fed up. Unfortunately, the pain never truly went away. I felt it while trekking across campus, when I tried to go out dancing or any other physical activity I participated in. I eventually just started doing less and less physical activity with the result of gaining about 30lbs. Now, though, being pregnant, I only need to walk or even just sit & the pain cuts like a knife! A nice slow song came on the radio the other day & Mike & I spontaneously started dancing to it, but I had to stop because it hurt so bad. How am I supposed to get through our wedding and honeymoon with it like this? I had asked my Dr. if there was some kind of anti-inflammatory or something that I could take since that's what I had been given before, but she just said "No, just Tylenol". It just sucks!

JUNE 21, 2007

I signed up for this awesome site today & love it already! I am currently 21 weeks & 4 days pregnant with my little boy. I think my metabolism is out of control because no matter how much I eat I am still hungry! I quit a job I had just started as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I didn't realize what I had got myself into & absolutely detested the place (The Princeton Review). I've been unemployed since. I've applied to a few jobs, nothing exciting & interviewed for a temporary job. I have my B.A. in Political Science, but after working for a law firm for a year after graduation decided law wasn't for me (I had intended to go to law school). Now with all of this time on my hands I'm figuring out what I really want to do. I thought perhaps I'd be a stay at home mom. My sweetheart supports my decision either way. I've decided, though, to return to school. I'm going to pursue my PhD in Psychology (one of my many former majors). I've signed up for an online course to brush up on the Introductory Psychology course (which I took about 10 years ago) & will take one class in the Spring & one in the Fall then will apply to grad school for the following Fall. This is the plan now, I'm sure life will change dramatically when little Isaac is born. He will be my first and foremost priority of course. I'm just thinking about the future. I'm a career woman at heart & am going nuts being at home!!!