July 20, 2007: I wanted to change the color of text, but my computer does something strange everytime I try, so I GIVE UP!!! It seems easier and easier for me to feel this way lately. I am getting to be an expert big sissy, when things don't go my way!!

Beyond all of the craziness, I am almost normal. I am the oldest of 5. 2 girls and 3 boys ranging in age from 31 to 14, so that means my mother is a lunatic too! I am proud to say that I have taken every character flaw she may have exuded and perfected it, so I am now the most certifiably insane person you could possibly meet! Lucky for you, I will try to keep most of that to myself.

As I said before, I am married, although it has not been that way for very long. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, almost, but he and I have only been married for 3 and 1/2 years. He has been married and divorced once before (with a daughther to show for it) and that did not sit very well, so I had trouble getting him to consent to marriage, but (forgive me, if this goes against anyone's beliefs) I had much less trouble getting him to agree to have children. I wanted 3 kids and did not want to wait until later, so we comprimised. What that means is, I WON! Mommy always wins no matter what and he knows it!

When he finally decided that he would like to get married, I was the one who wanted to hold off. I know. I know, but I had this really awful thought that the kids would feud over my cold, dead body one day saying how any who were not born when we were married were not wanted, or mistakes. It sounds crazy, but I thought it and did not want it to happen. UGH!!! Me and my crazy brain!!! Anyway, I held off until my 3rd (and final) child was just shy of 1 year old to get married.

With that said, almost 7 months later, a tragedy struck and my family was brought a family foster child, whom we assumed would be going home shortly. (The tragedy was within the family and that is why he came to live with us, not in the fact that he was brought to us.) His mother did not win her fight with DCFS and in April 2007 we adopted him. As if that was not enough, in November of 2006, we received the call that DCFS was interested in bringing the Blake's half sister to us too. She is an angel! We have now had her for 8 months and eventhough there is extreme financial strain, we would not trade either one of them!

My other three are normal, aggravating, sreaming, fighting, loving, caring, crazy kids. Does that sound right? Usually they do not display all characteristics at one time, but look out, because you never know when they will! Zakk is 10 and will start football soon, Monday soon! Addy(7), whom I try and keep from all contact sports, eventhough she did play spring soccer. And, Noah(4), who, THANK GOD, does not play any sports yet!!! My husband's oldest daughter, Erica(14) plays every sport she can get herself enrolled in, so there is always something to do, even if we can't make it to all of the games!

I guess the final straw should be explaining how my "last child" is now 4 and I, somehow, landed myself on a pregnancy web site again. There was no way that I was having any more children and not for medical reasons either. My husband just has to look at me and it happens, especially this time! I swear it was immaculate conception! We have 6 kids! Come on! When do you suppose we find a minute for ourselves???? I bet it was the only time it happened that month and now, I look like I swallowed a basketball! I don't get it. None of our children were unplanned and that has definitely changed. I guess God is trying to tell me that I don't get to choose, although, I am pretty convinced that I run the show most of the time! I guess that was his point, right? Who knows.

Sorry, I guess I have been babbling on here for a good 20 minutes now! I told you I was crazy in the very beginning. I guess I made good on that.

8/8/07

Last night my family and I were all just sitting around after my son's football practice and I started feeling the kicking again. I have only tried to see if I could actually feel it, from the outside, once or twice, but I keep reading about how everyone else can feel it from the outside, so I decided to try. To my surprise, I could feel one rather strong kick well enough to try and let someone else feel it. First my 4 year old, Noah, decided that he would like to try and feel it. He could have too, if he was older and better at knowing what he was supposed to be waiting for. I felt it twice during that time and he did not, but he sure gave it a try! Next, my 10 year old son, Zakk, put his hand where Noah's had been. It was very interesting to watch the look on his face, when he felt the first little pecking feeling. He was even more excited when he actually felt it moving again. When Noah was born, Zakk was only 5, so this an interesting experience for me as well, because none of the kids have ever really been old enough to be interested before. It gave me some good feelings about being pregnant that I have not had yet this time.

8/14/07

I found out about two weeks ago that I have to be the maid of honor in my friend's wedding! UGH!!! I am a whale and have to wear a wedding style dress! CAN'T WAIT!!!

8/28/07

Today I went in for my ultrasound. We found out that the baby weighs 1 lb. 1 oz. and is a girl. Her name will be Mesa Kaelin. My husband was disappointed that it is not a boy, but he will live!

10/27/07

Well, there has been a slight change of plans! We were going to name our baby Mesa Kaelin and I love that name, but after my mother's death, I decided that her name should somehow be incorporated into the baby's name. Sadly, this will be my only child that does not know my mother, but she will carry her name! Her name is now going to be Mesa Kaelin-Marie. My husband is not crazy about giving her two middle names, but as far as I am concerned, he does not have a choice!