| mumtobe4july08 | |
 | Age: 21 Country: UK Province/region: -west midlands City: -gloucestershire Partner: he left me when i was 6 months pregnant :'-( Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Occupation: On maternity leave, but going back to college in September to study Accountancy. |
| Online: 35 minutes ago Last updated: 0 days ago. Member since: 221 days | |
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I've had a hard few months after what's happened but i'm turning my life around, i've just been accepted on a college course which starts in September studying Accountancy. It's going to be hard work, as it's 3 and a half days a week and it's going to be heartbreaking leaving my daughter, but i'm doing this for her; i'm going to get a good career and provide for her as best i can. I hope she will be proud of me!
November 8th 2007
Nearly two weeks late now, so decided to do a pregnancy test (not the best idea of mine to do it in my lunch hour) and YES i'm pregnant!! First thoughts: "Oh my god!! "
I spend lunch with my mum so she was the first to find out, the whole hour we were pacing up and down in shock, i couldn't sit still, before i knew it, it was time to go back to work.
That afternoon was extremely long and painful. I really wanted to tell someone but knew it was far too early and i hadn't even told Rich.
I waited until he got back from work around 7pm, i called him into the lounge and said i had something to tell him. I started crying uncontrollably even though i had gone over what i was going to say a hundred times in my head. He comforted me and asked me what was wrong. I just blurted out, "I'm pregnant!" No easing him in gently like i'd planned. He asked if i was joking, but as soon as he realised i wasn't he jumped up and started shouting excitedly "I'm gonna be a dad!" He was over the moon, a big relief to me!! He begged me if he could tell his parents so i eventually gave in, after all my mum already knew. That night we talked for ages about the future and how excited we both were. Although it was a shock, after seeing Rich's reaction, it seemed to instantly reassure me that everything would be ok. He's my rock and i know he'll support me and the baby. Ashamed to say though that my dads mobile was turned off when i tried to call him, so just sent him a text, simply saying, i'm pregnant. (Hope he forgives me!)
November 12th 2007
Had my doctors appointment today to have the pregnancy confirmed, she has given me a due date of 7th July. Just realised that means i'll be pregnant for my 21st birthday! But it's worked out quite nicely, as my birthday is 17th June and Rich's is 15th July, so the baby's birthday will be right in the middle of both of ours, how sweet!
November 13th 2007
Started bleeding at work, my heart sunk! I had been having crampy pains all morning but thought that would probably be normal. I snuck out of work to call the NHS helpline, they asked me lots of questions and explained it seemed like that start of a miscarriage or an eptopic pregnancy. I burst into tears and called my boss out of the office to tell her. She was really understanding and i excused myself to go to the doctors.
Once there, they agreed with what the NHS helpline had told me and referred me to have an early pregnancy assessment the following morning.
That whole evening was horrendous, i couldn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone-i was so distraught. Rich did all he could to comfort me and assure me everything would be ok but i knew in the back of my mind that there was a big chance there wasn't.
My mum and brother came round to bring me a lovely pink hotwater bottle for my cramps and some magazines to flick through to take my mind off things-well at least try to anyway.
November 14th 2007
Rich and i made our way to the hospital first thing-bladder full, ready for the ultrasound. I was shaking with nerves and couldn't think of anything else.
Once there, we had to speak to a specialist who advised what would happen and the possible outcomes, she was really nice and for once i felt a little more relaxed.
We went in for the scan, the screen was facing towards the sonographer so i couldn't see a thing. She didn't say anything for what seemed like ages. Then eventually she turned the screen to face us and pointed out the baby's heartbeat and said that as far as she could see, everything looked fine. She gave me an estimated due date of 4th July-Independance day!! We breathed a huge sigh of relief. My eyes filled up with joy.
We then went back to speak to the specialist who assured me that there was no need for us to worry and explained that the bleeding i had experienced was probably from the newly forming bloodvessels from the placenta.
We were sent on our way grinning from cheek to cheek and for the rest of the day nothing could take that smile off my face!
November 24th 2007
The midwife came to see me today for my booking appointment, she was really nice, i thought she would judge me because of my age but i didn't get that impression from her at all. Just really friendly and helpful. I've had my appointment come through for my 12 week scan as well, it all seems more real to me now and i'm finally beginning to adjust to being pregnant.
December 21st 2007
12 week scan today!! We're both really excited to see the baby again, last time wasn't a very enjoyable experience and we didn't really see anything other than a peanut shaped figure with a pumping heart.
I was told by a friend that the more you drank, the clearer the picture would be, so rather than drinking the recommended 1 litre of fluid, i think i almost doubled that, so by the time i got to the hopsital, i was bursting for the loo and it didn't help that we had to wait nearly half an hour before we went in!
Everything seemed fine and there the baby was, moving it's little arms and legs around and shaking it's head. It was so amazing and so strange to think that there's a life growing inside me! The sonographer did comment on how full my bladder was and advised me not to drink quite so much next time. My bladder was squashing the poor little fella! Oops!
Then had to give a water sample and have 5 lots of blood taken from me :-(
I rushed back to work to show everyone the scan picture. Think some people were not quite sure what they were looking at but i could definately make out a head and a little bent arm and leg. Can't wait for the next one to see how much the baby's changed and hopefully we'll be able to find out the sex (i'm hoping for a girl, Rich-a boy).
January 16th 2008
Went to see the midwife for my 16 week check up today, Rich rushed back from work so he could come along as we got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was such and amazing experience, and so fast as well!! It was really reassuring as well as i haven't really felt any movement yet so i know the baby is ok.
January 25th 2008
I'm not imagining it, today i definately felt the baby move, feels like some sort of weird pulse in my belly. It's been happening on and off all day, i've been waiting so long for this, now i feel a bit more assured that everything is ok without having to wait for my 20 week scan next month. Can't wait for the movements to be strong enough for Rich to feel though as i think he feels a bit left out at the moment.
February 9th 2008
Finally, the baby has been moving so much now and so strong that i rushed Rich over to feel it. As soon as he put his hand on my belly, it kicked straight away. I'm so happy that he got to feel it and shocked that he did at the first attempt. He's lucky as it says in some of the books that fathers don't often feel the baby move until, about week 24! I could tell that Rich was really chuffed as he kept looking at me all night and smiling. Think it's sunk in now that we're going to be parents soon. I thought it already had and so did Rich but after today-we both just feel different in ourselves. A good different, a feeling of responsibility and excitement of what's to come.
February 15th 2008
20 week scan today!! I had a dream last night that the sonographer couldn't tell us the sex. Hope that wasn't a premonition as we both want to know so bad, we're so impatient. All along i've been hoping for a girl but i can honestly say that i will be thrilled either way, i just want to know so that we can decorate the nursery and buy appropriate clothing. All the unisex ranges look so dull and boring.
Didn't drink as much water this time but now worried i didn't drink enough! What am i like!? Always worrying.
Got to the hospital and luckily no long wait like last time, we were in straight away! It was amazing to see how much the baby had grown and straight away you could see what was what, no guessing like last time. Rich asked pretty much straight away whether they could tell us the sex. I know he was hoping for a boy so when she confirmed we were having a girl, i couldn't turn to look at him in case he had a disappointed look on his face. I was thrilled! We could finally say "she" rather than "it". The sonographer checked over everything and assured us that everything was normal and healthy. She even commented on how long her legs were :-) We took away two really good pictures, much better than the last one. You can see her cute little button nose, how sweet!
On the way back from the hospital i asked Rich if he was disappointed, he explained he would of preferred it if his first born was a boy but he was still over the moon to be having a little princess-he regrettably informed me that the title had been taken away from me :-( but i was glad that he was happy none the less. We stopped off at Next and bought our first pink thing, 3 adorable baby grows! Spent the afternoon calling people to let them know the news. IT'S A GIRL!! xxx
February 19th 2008
First of all, i've been signed off work for 2 weeks with sciatica, not nice, but glad of the lie ins and the peacefulness, as soon i wont have any lol. Secondly, i've been feeling her move for several weeks now but today i actually saw her move! She was moving so much, that i decided to lift up my top to see if i could see anything and to my amazement, i could! Ripples across my skin going from one side to the other-think she was swimming lengths inside me lol. I'm happy she 's got plenty of room at the moment as soon she'll be so squashed in there that she wont be able to play! Thirdly, another weird new experience today-hiccups! Baby hiccups-not sure whether i like this one, feels like a big bubble popping inside me every few seconds, not a nice feeling, like when she kicks. Lets just hope she doesn't get them all the time, because it felt kind of strange to say the least!
February 27th 2008
How bizarre, we had an earthquake last night! Me and the baby were fast asleep bless, but Rich was still up making music and he heard it, how exciting! Apparently i didn't miss much, only lasted 10 seconds, but thought i'd make a note of it so i can look back in years to come and tell my daughter about it-it's not as if it happens everyday in England, biggest one in 25 years they've just said on the news.
April 5th 2008
Went for the 4d scan today, i was so nervous and paranoid, i'd totally got it in my head that they'd got the sex wrong at the 20 week scan, i had visions of them telling us that she's in fact a he. So when we arrived we made it clear that we wanted the sex confirmed. The whole scan was so amazing, i'm glad we had it done, we got a dvd of little clips of her yawning and moving her little arms around. She was asleep for most of it and facing towards my back so i had to lie on my side to get a better view. She kept putting her kness up and her feet on her head it was so cute. I can't wait to show her when she's older, definately worth the £195 we paid. My mum thinks she looks like rich, but rich thinks she's got my nose, i suppose you can see bits of me and rich in her looking at all the different poses. The sonographer commented on how lovely her lips and nose were and said she looked lovely. She also said she could she she had chubby cheeks already lol, bet she'll be a little porker :-) Hope she isn't too big though as we've bought so many adorable little newborn clothes, if her birth weight is anything like mine and rich's, she wont fit in them!! Oh i wish it would hurry up, still 12 weeks and 6 days to go :-)
April 9th 2008
Saw the midwife today, had some more blood taken and was told that she's breech! Really hope she changes, i really don't want to have a caesarean, i want to do it pain relief free and vaginally, think it will be a real achievement and i'd feel so proud of myself. Fingers crossed!
April 14th 2008
Rich has done what i knew for weeks was coming, he has finally admitted that he doesn't love me any more and that he wants me to leave, he doesn't see the point in staying together for the sake of the baby and that he likes someone else!! I'm totally heart broken and don't know what the future holds for me and my daughter, i'm scared, alone and the only thing that will get me through this is knowing i will have my daughter with me soon. (I later found out that he is seeing someone else, a 16 year old who was supposed to me a friend of mine and would come round our house being all fake with me!! Words can not describe the pain i am going through right now)
April 17th 2008
Moved my stuff back to mums today, including most of the furniture haha!! Would of loved to of seen the cheating bastards face when he got back from work!! Was proud of myself for standing up to him but can't help but feel sad that things are definately over between us. Mum wants me to stay with her until the baby is a few months old, will then rent somewhere myself hopefully.
April 30th 2008
Saw the midwife today, was dreading her asking whether or not i'd be going to the anti-natal classes or not as i know how much they push you to go to them. But i just can't face going on my own now, seeing all those other couples all happy and me, a single mum at 20!! I know what they will all think! Luckily she was really nice about it and said that it wasn't a big deal, besides, i've researched this whole pregnancy and labour so much on the internet that i'd already know everything anyway. Also had some good news, she's no longer breech. She is however the wrong way round, her spine is against my spine, hoping she'll turn before the birth! She also said i should hopefully have a relatively small baby, thank god!! Was dreading having a big 10 pound baby going by mine and Rich's birth weights. Have been prescribed some iron tablets as well my levels were a little bit low, bring on the black poo's!!!
May 22nd 2008
After a lot of thinking and research, i've decided to have a home birth. I called Val, my midwife to let her know and to make the neccessary arrangements. Luckily she didn't try to put me off the idea, she just asked what had made me decide to do it. I explained that i wasn't going to have any pain relief anyway and i'm not the biggest fan of hospitals; since me and Rich had split up, i was struggling to find someone who could just drop everything to take me to the hosptial when i go into labour and at least this way i can labour in the comfort of my own home. She was sad to hear about me and Rich, but i didn't go into detail. We just left it that she would come to see me at home on 2nd June to go through everything with me. I'm so excited now and really looking forward to the birth.
June 5th 2008
I went for my interview at the college today. I was really nervous as i didn't know how they'd react to me being pregnant. I prepared really well for it though, i took with me my CV, and my answers to questions i thought they might ask and then some questions to ask at the end. The lady was really nice and understanding. It went really well and i'm pleased to say that they have accepted me on the course. It's called : Association of Accounting Technicians-AAT Fast Track to Intermediate Level 3. It's a full time course which is 3 and a half days a week for one year. I will then go on to complete the second year, Level 4 of the AAT which is the Technician Level, but this will be part time; two evenings a week i think. Aunty Becky has been kind enough to say she will look after her for me for the first year. I'm so grateful that she will be with a family member. It's going to be so hard leaving her, especially when she is only two months old, but at least i know she will be in safe hands. I really want to do this and do well in it so that i can provide for my daughter and give her the best life possible. If Rich isn't going to be around then i need to be earning as much money as possible. A career in Accounts will be the best way to go about that.
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Comments 101-125 to mumtobe4july08
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24thjunebaby - Wednesday, 25 June
Hi Martha, contractions do start like period pains and if your belly is going tight then it does sound like labour. As someone else has suggested, it would be a good idea to time how often they are coming...follow this link it should be useful: http://www.contractionmaster.com/
Good luck and keep in touch with your health care provider they will let you know the right time to go in xxx
Megan the lump maker - Wednesday, 25 June
Sounds like you are geting ready....I remember those damn period cramps. I would definitely time them---just in case! And go for a walk to help move them along. If you have an exercise ball, sit on top and start flexing your pelvis! Good Luck!
angelbabies14 - Wednesday, 25 June
you should def go, they say no more than 12 hours without movement... let me know what up girl I'm worried about you.
Caracaya - Tuesday, 24 June
I actually sleep with a waterproof crib sheet under my sheets these days. I am not sure just a towel would protect the mattress adequately, so I figured why not use the crib protector while I won't need it for the crib yet
foxxy76 - Tuesday, 24 June
HEY THERE , DONT WORRY ABOUT THE LOSERS , WHAT HE DID TO YOU HE WILL SURELY DO TO OTHER WOMEN . CHIN UP GIRL , MY DAUGHTERS FATHER WENT FOR MY 1ST COUSIN THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR OVER 8 YEARS , I WAS TOLD THEY ARE NOT THAT HAPPY WHICH IN TURN MAKES ME HAPPIER LOL
YOUR BETTER OFF WITHOUT THE BASTARD!
littlerpm - Monday, 23 June
Feeling a bit better as we're going to buy a changing unit tomorrow which my Mum and Dad are actually paying for. So far I've bought 1 pack of nappies, a teddy and some mattress covers and nothing else as I've been given a lot of second hand stuff which is fine but I do want her to have some new stuff. Gradually working through my list of things to do but at a leisurely pace and resting more. I've finally caught up on the messages on here! It definitely feels like she's not coming out anytime soon!
Ama-llama - Monday, 23 June
aaawww.. really cute pic :) tangerina - Monday, 23 June
awww! i love this pic!! you look soooooooo beautiful! LITTLERPM - Monday, 23 June
Hi Sorry I haven't been on for days as fiance was the biggest bastard on Wednesday I can't believe the things he was coming out with and it's because other people have been upsetting him. How u anyway?
megans mama - Sunday, 22 June
Just read about your convo with Rich... I'd say let him be a part of whatever YOU can handle. You don't want your big moment with your new daughter to be overcome with sadness because of him. So, let him be around, but i you feel sad or hurt, tell him to wait outside or send him on an errand.
Now about your last post - I agree that laying on the couch is much better! lol. I went with some friends last night to a County Fair - and it was huge. All that walking did was make me incredibly sore and land me on the couch today - not a bit more ready to deliver - lol!
UKDUTYPAID - Sunday, 22 June
oh my... i feel so sorry for you, that is pretty uncomfortable thing to have..... my bits are sore... im sick of what should be inside being outside, and cus im wearing towells , my bits rub on it and make it sore... friday is my day... i need it to be friday, lol.... no signs even though i had kinda tummy ache today, but i think any pain im thinking, is this it??..lol
yeah, i see people having there babies... kinda dont recognise all of them..
ive got so much cleaning to do, and i just cant be bothered, lol
i actually saw myself last night.... in pain, leaning over to get my epidural... guess it kinda hit me at last.. scared myself really. woke up at 3.30 couldnt sleep till 5, had to put tv on to stop my head racing, what did i watch??? My baby story on discovery health, lmao.
she was in sooooo much pain... im asking myself.. wehat have i done?? but not alot i can do about it now. i find it so hard to even picture a baby in this house... ive just shoved it back all this time..lol
ahh well... 7 days and ill soon find out, lol
cranberry jusice helps with stastitus and dont drink coffee or tea....
good luck..x.x.x.
lisasmells - Sunday, 22 June
its cool xx
brooklyn25 - Sunday, 22 June
Thanks for the good advice. I don't want to push him away. I am just frustrated and hormonal. Ahhh I just can't wait to be "normal" again and be able to think clearly. You're right, what I want most of all is for her to have a "family", and I do love him to death. Even if he is driving me completely crazy right now. I guess it's not his fault. I'm sure he is just a little freaked out. I guess I should cut him some slack for a little while and see what happens. Well thanks for your help. I'm always on here too if you ever need anything.
cmommy08 - Saturday, 21 June
I have a bull dog too!!! Actually 2 of them; Maya and Frost! That's so cool:) What are star jumps?
tto - Saturday, 21 June
If you want the father to be involved with your child, I'd let him be there. Witnessing that moment may kick in his sense of responsibility to the child- both financially and emotionally. He also won't be able to use it against you later. It makes sense that your mom doesn't like him, but this is about bigger things. Just my opinion.
faizam - Friday, 20 June
aww there's no need to cry hun.....u need to b strong for ur self and for ur baby....cos ur not only going to take care of urself but also ur baby....and this will show him what an ass he was to leave smone like u....and trust me ur far better without him cos if he left u in such a situation, he isnt worth calling a man.....so be happy and strong for ur little one ok....and enjoy ur pregnancy and enjoy giving birth to that little miracle of urs.....xoxoxox
wildberry - Friday, 20 June
hi hon
i have had two home births and my mom was a midwife
as for tips
i needed ice lots and lots of ice not for sucking on but for putting in a sock and rubbing on your body
something good to tie your hair back lots of towels and straws
a nice big mens t shirt is nice to go through labor in
and for after the baby gets here very soft comfy pj's
music is nice but make sure it's something you like when i had my first i wanted a nice southing cd i ended up hating the cd
so this time i went with a little shun paul i don't think my midwife liked it but it was my delivery so i dident care
best of luck hon
you will be great!
imamilf - Friday, 20 June
dont let him in the room...i remember everything u said bout him before and u know what....those old feelings will all come rushing back especially when the baby comes out...do urself the favor and leave him out of it...telll him to go out with his 16 yr old gf and leave u the F alone...u can do this u dont need him and u dont want to feel things for him again!...
mommyof3goingon4 - Friday, 20 June
birth is an extremely emotional time. if u think his presence will upset u, then i wouldn't have them there during ur labor. he should get to be there when she is born, but that doesn't mean he has to b there w/ u during ur hard time. id let him come in during the end of the pushing phase so he can c his baby b born...only if he is sincere about being part of her life. sorry its like this 4 u, hope it goes well no matter what u decide to do. not long till that baby is in ur arms & then the world around u will go away!
shonak - Friday, 20 June
hiya congrats xx
faizam - Friday, 20 June
well to tell u the truth i wuldnt let my ex b present at the birth because, he left u wen u really wantd him to b there for u......u need to b loved and cherished by the person who got u pregnant on the first place during all this time.....he shuldve been around to take care of u and love u because u deserve that with his child inside of u....and all he did was leave u for a 16 year old....and now he wants to b there for birth....i mean it doesnt make any sense cos he wasnt around wen he shuld've been....giving birth to ur child and being present to witness is the worlds most important and beautiful thing.....he doesnt deserve that from u.....its ur choice in the end but im telling u as a friend that he doesnt deserve this favour from u cos for all crap he did to u, u will b giving him a chance of a life time....and he doesnt deserve that.....tc....xoxoxox
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