| mumtobe4july08 | |
 | Age: 21 Country: UK Province/region: -west midlands City: -gloucestershire Partner: he left me when i was 6 months pregnant :'-( Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Occupation: On maternity leave, but going back to college in September to study Accountancy. |
| Online: 7 days ago. Last updated: 11 days ago. Member since: 218 days | |
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I've had a hard few months after what's happened but i'm turning my life around, i've just been accepted on a college course which starts in September studying Accountancy. It's going to be hard work, as it's 3 and a half days a week and it's going to be heartbreaking leaving my daughter, but i'm doing this for her; i'm going to get a good career and provide for her as best i can. I hope she will be proud of me!
November 8th 2007
Nearly two weeks late now, so decided to do a pregnancy test (not the best idea of mine to do it in my lunch hour) and YES i'm pregnant!! First thoughts: "Oh my god!! "
I spend lunch with my mum so she was the first to find out, the whole hour we were pacing up and down in shock, i couldn't sit still, before i knew it, it was time to go back to work.
That afternoon was extremely long and painful. I really wanted to tell someone but knew it was far too early and i hadn't even told Rich.
I waited until he got back from work around 7pm, i called him into the lounge and said i had something to tell him. I started crying uncontrollably even though i had gone over what i was going to say a hundred times in my head. He comforted me and asked me what was wrong. I just blurted out, "I'm pregnant!" No easing him in gently like i'd planned. He asked if i was joking, but as soon as he realised i wasn't he jumped up and started shouting excitedly "I'm gonna be a dad!" He was over the moon, a big relief to me!! He begged me if he could tell his parents so i eventually gave in, after all my mum already knew. That night we talked for ages about the future and how excited we both were. Although it was a shock, after seeing Rich's reaction, it seemed to instantly reassure me that everything would be ok. He's my rock and i know he'll support me and the baby. Ashamed to say though that my dads mobile was turned off when i tried to call him, so just sent him a text, simply saying, i'm pregnant. (Hope he forgives me!)
November 12th 2007
Had my doctors appointment today to have the pregnancy confirmed, she has given me a due date of 7th July. Just realised that means i'll be pregnant for my 21st birthday! But it's worked out quite nicely, as my birthday is 17th June and Rich's is 15th July, so the baby's birthday will be right in the middle of both of ours, how sweet!
November 13th 2007
Started bleeding at work, my heart sunk! I had been having crampy pains all morning but thought that would probably be normal. I snuck out of work to call the NHS helpline, they asked me lots of questions and explained it seemed like that start of a miscarriage or an eptopic pregnancy. I burst into tears and called my boss out of the office to tell her. She was really understanding and i excused myself to go to the doctors.
Once there, they agreed with what the NHS helpline had told me and referred me to have an early pregnancy assessment the following morning.
That whole evening was horrendous, i couldn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone-i was so distraught. Rich did all he could to comfort me and assure me everything would be ok but i knew in the back of my mind that there was a big chance there wasn't.
My mum and brother came round to bring me a lovely pink hotwater bottle for my cramps and some magazines to flick through to take my mind off things-well at least try to anyway.
November 14th 2007
Rich and i made our way to the hospital first thing-bladder full, ready for the ultrasound. I was shaking with nerves and couldn't think of anything else.
Once there, we had to speak to a specialist who advised what would happen and the possible outcomes, she was really nice and for once i felt a little more relaxed.
We went in for the scan, the screen was facing towards the sonographer so i couldn't see a thing. She didn't say anything for what seemed like ages. Then eventually she turned the screen to face us and pointed out the baby's heartbeat and said that as far as she could see, everything looked fine. She gave me an estimated due date of 4th July-Independance day!! We breathed a huge sigh of relief. My eyes filled up with joy.
We then went back to speak to the specialist who assured me that there was no need for us to worry and explained that the bleeding i had experienced was probably from the newly forming bloodvessels from the placenta.
We were sent on our way grinning from cheek to cheek and for the rest of the day nothing could take that smile off my face!
November 24th 2007
The midwife came to see me today for my booking appointment, she was really nice, i thought she would judge me because of my age but i didn't get that impression from her at all. Just really friendly and helpful. I've had my appointment come through for my 12 week scan as well, it all seems more real to me now and i'm finally beginning to adjust to being pregnant.
December 21st 2007
12 week scan today!! We're both really excited to see the baby again, last time wasn't a very enjoyable experience and we didn't really see anything other than a peanut shaped figure with a pumping heart.
I was told by a friend that the more you drank, the clearer the picture would be, so rather than drinking the recommended 1 litre of fluid, i think i almost doubled that, so by the time i got to the hopsital, i was bursting for the loo and it didn't help that we had to wait nearly half an hour before we went in!
Everything seemed fine and there the baby was, moving it's little arms and legs around and shaking it's head. It was so amazing and so strange to think that there's a life growing inside me! The sonographer did comment on how full my bladder was and advised me not to drink quite so much next time. My bladder was squashing the poor little fella! Oops!
Then had to give a water sample and have 5 lots of blood taken from me :-(
I rushed back to work to show everyone the scan picture. Think some people were not quite sure what they were looking at but i could definately make out a head and a little bent arm and leg. Can't wait for the next one to see how much the baby's changed and hopefully we'll be able to find out the sex (i'm hoping for a girl, Rich-a boy).
January 16th 2008
Went to see the midwife for my 16 week check up today, Rich rushed back from work so he could come along as we got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was such and amazing experience, and so fast as well!! It was really reassuring as well as i haven't really felt any movement yet so i know the baby is ok.
January 25th 2008
I'm not imagining it, today i definately felt the baby move, feels like some sort of weird pulse in my belly. It's been happening on and off all day, i've been waiting so long for this, now i feel a bit more assured that everything is ok without having to wait for my 20 week scan next month. Can't wait for the movements to be strong enough for Rich to feel though as i think he feels a bit left out at the moment.
February 9th 2008
Finally, the baby has been moving so much now and so strong that i rushed Rich over to feel it. As soon as he put his hand on my belly, it kicked straight away. I'm so happy that he got to feel it and shocked that he did at the first attempt. He's lucky as it says in some of the books that fathers don't often feel the baby move until, about week 24! I could tell that Rich was really chuffed as he kept looking at me all night and smiling. Think it's sunk in now that we're going to be parents soon. I thought it already had and so did Rich but after today-we both just feel different in ourselves. A good different, a feeling of responsibility and excitement of what's to come.
February 15th 2008
20 week scan today!! I had a dream last night that the sonographer couldn't tell us the sex. Hope that wasn't a premonition as we both want to know so bad, we're so impatient. All along i've been hoping for a girl but i can honestly say that i will be thrilled either way, i just want to know so that we can decorate the nursery and buy appropriate clothing. All the unisex ranges look so dull and boring.
Didn't drink as much water this time but now worried i didn't drink enough! What am i like!? Always worrying.
Got to the hospital and luckily no long wait like last time, we were in straight away! It was amazing to see how much the baby had grown and straight away you could see what was what, no guessing like last time. Rich asked pretty much straight away whether they could tell us the sex. I know he was hoping for a boy so when she confirmed we were having a girl, i couldn't turn to look at him in case he had a disappointed look on his face. I was thrilled! We could finally say "she" rather than "it". The sonographer checked over everything and assured us that everything was normal and healthy. She even commented on how long her legs were :-) We took away two really good pictures, much better than the last one. You can see her cute little button nose, how sweet!
On the way back from the hospital i asked Rich if he was disappointed, he explained he would of preferred it if his first born was a boy but he was still over the moon to be having a little princess-he regrettably informed me that the title had been taken away from me :-( but i was glad that he was happy none the less. We stopped off at Next and bought our first pink thing, 3 adorable baby grows! Spent the afternoon calling people to let them know the news. IT'S A GIRL!! xxx
February 19th 2008
First of all, i've been signed off work for 2 weeks with sciatica, not nice, but glad of the lie ins and the peacefulness, as soon i wont have any lol. Secondly, i've been feeling her move for several weeks now but today i actually saw her move! She was moving so much, that i decided to lift up my top to see if i could see anything and to my amazement, i could! Ripples across my skin going from one side to the other-think she was swimming lengths inside me lol. I'm happy she 's got plenty of room at the moment as soon she'll be so squashed in there that she wont be able to play! Thirdly, another weird new experience today-hiccups! Baby hiccups-not sure whether i like this one, feels like a big bubble popping inside me every few seconds, not a nice feeling, like when she kicks. Lets just hope she doesn't get them all the time, because it felt kind of strange to say the least!
February 27th 2008
How bizarre, we had an earthquake last night! Me and the baby were fast asleep bless, but Rich was still up making music and he heard it, how exciting! Apparently i didn't miss much, only lasted 10 seconds, but thought i'd make a note of it so i can look back in years to come and tell my daughter about it-it's not as if it happens everyday in England, biggest one in 25 years they've just said on the news.
April 5th 2008
Went for the 4d scan today, i was so nervous and paranoid, i'd totally got it in my head that they'd got the sex wrong at the 20 week scan, i had visions of them telling us that she's in fact a he. So when we arrived we made it clear that we wanted the sex confirmed. The whole scan was so amazing, i'm glad we had it done, we got a dvd of little clips of her yawning and moving her little arms around. She was asleep for most of it and facing towards my back so i had to lie on my side to get a better view. She kept putting her kness up and her feet on her head it was so cute. I can't wait to show her when she's older, definately worth the £195 we paid. My mum thinks she looks like rich, but rich thinks she's got my nose, i suppose you can see bits of me and rich in her looking at all the different poses. The sonographer commented on how lovely her lips and nose were and said she looked lovely. She also said she could she she had chubby cheeks already lol, bet she'll be a little porker :-) Hope she isn't too big though as we've bought so many adorable little newborn clothes, if her birth weight is anything like mine and rich's, she wont fit in them!! Oh i wish it would hurry up, still 12 weeks and 6 days to go :-)
April 9th 2008
Saw the midwife today, had some more blood taken and was told that she's breech! Really hope she changes, i really don't want to have a caesarean, i want to do it pain relief free and vaginally, think it will be a real achievement and i'd feel so proud of myself. Fingers crossed!
April 14th 2008
Rich has done what i knew for weeks was coming, he has finally admitted that he doesn't love me any more and that he wants me to leave, he doesn't see the point in staying together for the sake of the baby and that he likes someone else!! I'm totally heart broken and don't know what the future holds for me and my daughter, i'm scared, alone and the only thing that will get me through this is knowing i will have my daughter with me soon. (I later found out that he is seeing someone else, a 16 year old who was supposed to me a friend of mine and would come round our house being all fake with me!! Words can not describe the pain i am going through right now)
April 17th 2008
Moved my stuff back to mums today, including most of the furniture haha!! Would of loved to of seen the cheating bastards face when he got back from work!! Was proud of myself for standing up to him but can't help but feel sad that things are definately over between us. Mum wants me to stay with her until the baby is a few months old, will then rent somewhere myself hopefully.
April 30th 2008
Saw the midwife today, was dreading her asking whether or not i'd be going to the anti-natal classes or not as i know how much they push you to go to them. But i just can't face going on my own now, seeing all those other couples all happy and me, a single mum at 20!! I know what they will all think! Luckily she was really nice about it and said that it wasn't a big deal, besides, i've researched this whole pregnancy and labour so much on the internet that i'd already know everything anyway. Also had some good news, she's no longer breech. She is however the wrong way round, her spine is against my spine, hoping she'll turn before the birth! She also said i should hopefully have a relatively small baby, thank god!! Was dreading having a big 10 pound baby going by mine and Rich's birth weights. Have been prescribed some iron tablets as well my levels were a little bit low, bring on the black poo's!!!
May 22nd 2008
After a lot of thinking and research, i've decided to have a home birth. I called Val, my midwife to let her know and to make the neccessary arrangements. Luckily she didn't try to put me off the idea, she just asked what had made me decide to do it. I explained that i wasn't going to have any pain relief anyway and i'm not the biggest fan of hospitals; since me and Rich had split up, i was struggling to find someone who could just drop everything to take me to the hosptial when i go into labour and at least this way i can labour in the comfort of my own home. She was sad to hear about me and Rich, but i didn't go into detail. We just left it that she would come to see me at home on 2nd June to go through everything with me. I'm so excited now and really looking forward to the birth.
June 5th 2008
I went for my interview at the college today. I was really nervous as i didn't know how they'd react to me being pregnant. I prepared really well for it though, i took with me my CV, and my answers to questions i thought they might ask and then some questions to ask at the end. The lady was really nice and understanding. It went really well and i'm pleased to say that they have accepted me on the course. It's called : Association of Accounting Technicians-AAT Fast Track to Intermediate Level 3. It's a full time course which is 3 and a half days a week for one year. I will then go on to complete the second year, Level 4 of the AAT which is the Technician Level, but this will be part time; two evenings a week i think. Aunty Becky has been kind enough to say she will look after her for me for the first year. I'm so grateful that she will be with a family member. It's going to be so hard leaving her, especially when she is only two months old, but at least i know she will be in safe hands. I really want to do this and do well in it so that i can provide for my daughter and give her the best life possible. If Rich isn't going to be around then i need to be earning as much money as possible. A career in Accounts will be the best way to go about that.
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Comments 201-225 to mumtobe4july08
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leesamum - Wednesday, 4 June
I was stretchmark free until week 37. THen I just got some around my belly button and maybe three knicks on each love handle. At this point, I don't even mind that much since they were bound to happen. I rarely used lotion even. I wouldn't worry much, you'll be fine.
kendall61308 - Wednesday, 4 June
Hopefully you still don't get stretch marks! I use palmers cocoa butter lotion on my hips and stomach everyday to prevent them, so far so good. If you haven't gotten any yet, im sure you won't! And if you do it will be very minimal. Good luck. :)
jcody777 - Wednesday, 4 June
I am 39 weeks, and I still have not gotten any stretch marks on my belly. In fact the last 2 weeks, I have lost weight. My belly has gotten bigger, but no weight gain. So keep lathering the coccoa butter on your belly and you should be okay!
christelle - Wednesday, 4 June
I'll be 39 weeks on Sunday and I'm still stretch-mark free
Good luck! JKs-Girl - Wednesday, 4 June
Hey there! Congrats on your little girl! I too am having another beautiful girl!
On the stretch mark thing - I got them with my first on my hips and boobs, none on my stomach. This time around I have not gotten any new ones (knock on wood). I think that my old ones have just stretched. Looks to me like they have a little more room to stretch too. I will be 37 weeks this friday! So good luck to you girl!
Oh and I read all of your logs, and you will be fine to raise this baby on your own. Just make sure that you get him for child support or however that works in your country! Dont be nice girl, he was not very nice to you!
You are a very pretty girl, and he will regret it later on in life. Just learn from this, and it can only make you a stronger woman! Good luck and keep in touch!
Gypsymama - Wednesday, 4 June
I am 39 1/2 weeks now and still no stretch marks. I thought I would have stopped gaining weight - you are supposed to tapper off, but managed to gain another 5the last couple weeks. Just stay on top of putting on your stretch mark cream!! Good luck!!
niamh - Wednesday, 4 June
i only got stretchmarks this week and have less than a week to go thought id be safe ....obviously not!!!and there not on my belly either ther on the sides of my bum just keep checkin and use lots of moisturiser
Megan the lump maker - Wednesday, 4 June
I didn't get them until after delivery--I almost had a heart attack. It was very depressing. No more belly shirts. After this kid I have a sweet tattoo picked out once I get those rock hard abs again. Good luck, and I hope you don't get them
knockoutmom - Wednesday, 4 June
ugh, i got killed by the stretch marks in my mid 35th week. i thought everything was going so well and i was one of the lucky few but then one day they popped up in numbers! at first it made me all hormonal and i cried but now im so concerned about other things that i could care less. from what ive heard they go away a lot quicker than you think! good luck!
littlemissi - Wednesday, 4 June
I like that name :) If my boy was a girl, she was going to be Violet.
littlemissi - Tuesday, 3 June
What name did you already have picked out?
angelbabies14 - Tuesday, 3 June
you do have to ask for certain things.. at my last doc office (i changed) they didn't say a word about anything ever... I started to ask and they would give me a little bit, but my new office is great they just tell you everything as they do it and they spend time with you, incase you have questions.
mommy-of-3 - Tuesday, 3 June
Wow I'm glad to know it's not only me with the walking thing, it's been going on now for at least a week if not two. It's terrible because I can't even go for walks to get excercise anymore.
I will definitely let you know what I find out. mommy-of-3 - Tuesday, 3 June
What a cute little foot ;) Caracaya - Monday, 2 June
Oh, and make sure you get money from the father. I am sure that in the UK he is also responsible for part of the costs for the child. I'd keep him away from your daughter, though, as he sounds like a borderline pedophile.
Caracaya - Monday, 2 June
I understand your worry about being able to balance school and the baby. I am in law school here in the US, and I am planning on returning to my last year of school in the fall. Fortunately I have a few options. I can either apply for more financial aid to get a few days a week of childcare, I could take the baby to school with me and somehow try to manage to do two full-time jobs (we have an extra nursing room in our school from which you can watch the classes), or I could take more time off from school and wait until she is older. At this point I believe I will try to do a mixture of all the options. I will get two days a week of childcare and will try to take most of my classes during those days. Hopefully I will get more aid to cover those expenses. The rest of the five days I will have my baby with me and take her to school. Fortunately I also have my husband who will hopefully do his part at night so I can get my massive homework done. I would talk to your school and see what options they have available. I am originally from Germany, and I know we can also get extra help and aid from the government for childcare, especially if you are single and have a low income. I am sure it won't be easy to do this alone, but maybe the government can help a little until you can get your degree and stand on your own two feet. I am sure your daughter will learn a lot from your example. I wish you the best of luck!
vcaama - Monday, 2 June
I am sorry to hear that the father of the baby will not be there for you. But you seem like a very strong women I am sure you will get through this, and about school I think you should do it, it is the best thing you can do for you baby and you once you are done you will be able to give her much more. I hope everything turns out well for you.
tto - Monday, 2 June
Just read your page- it is cool how you have everything documented. I'm sorry about Rich- his loss, his major loss- loosing you and your daughter. What a fool! Does England not have laws about underage kids? Here in the US- a 30 yr old man would go to prison if he slept or really did much of anything with a girl younger than 18. How could her parents allow that?
tto - Monday, 2 June
I'm a teacher so this is going to sound like it came from a teacher. Go back to school! I am so proud of you for even considering it. The sooner you do it, the better. It starts in Sept., so you'll have had time to be attached to her. The younger they are- the easier it is!! She won't really know you're gone- with no concept of time or days, etc. I got my master's degree- my son was one when I started and three when I finished. He still went to bed early and took naps- that's when I did my homework. Now he is older and it would be harder since he goes to bed later and doesn't always nap. This truly is the best time for you to do it. You won't miss dance recitals or have to help with homework yet. They really need more time from you doing more specific things later on. So, my advice is DO IT! You'll feel better about life and yourself. Oh yeah, the only time I would recommend putting it off is if she is colicky or something- pray about that!!
lucysmum - Monday, 2 June
I would say go for it and see how you get on. I've got a 2 year old and would say that the earlier months are easier than now. If you can get your little one in a routine quite quickly this will help too. I've worked 3 days a week since Lucy went to nursery at 6 months, it is hard and I wouldn't like to do 4 - but, if your course isn't too long then when you start work you could reduce your days? You really are in such a tough position, my heart goes out to you. Do you have a good support network? PS I work mostly because I have to, but also because I think I would go mad if i didn't!
Ama-llama - Monday, 2 June
Hello there! In regards to your school situation, I would go with the course. That is only if you are sure that it is going to be beneficial in the long run. No, it wont be easy , but worthwhile things never are. The sooner you get this education the sooner you can give your daughter the kind of life she deserves. :)
greenrose - Saturday, 31 May
I feel you, sister!! I swear everything I want to post is about how there's something new wrong with me today. And I really don't want the baby to come before it's ready, but for god's sake!! He's so friggin' big and moving all the time and up in my ribs and won't let me eat and aggravates my allergies and my pelvic bone is splitting apart and i can't sleep for hip pain... ARGH! Just think - we're almost there. **sigh**
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