I'm Angel, after 4 pregnancies and 4 children, I had my tubes tied. Got a huge shock a short time after the birth of my 4th child and tubal ligation. My husband then, and boyfriend since I was 14, had a memory problem. We all have seen one of these forgetful creatures sometime or other, they can't remember to stop dating other women after they get married, forget where they live at night, sometimes for days at a time lol. That ended shortly after in divorce and 4 years later I met an amazing man, who can remember! We dated for 4 1/2 years before marrying. He had no children so we opted for a reversal, after the reversal we had to wait 3 months for healing and a tube flush to make sure the tubes were open after healing/scar tissue had time to do its thing. Since then we've had 6 pregnancies and 5 miscarriages. HCG level in all previous miscarriages never got above 298, considered blighted ovums. We are currently 5 weeks 6 days. Hcg levels are going great. Had 2 sets so far scheduled for another, ultrasound showed a gestational sac, but a little soon for babys heartbeart. Hubby leaves Oct 30 for basic training. Since we never got above 298 before we are PRAYING, that he will get to see this babys heartbeat before he leaves out in 12 days.!


October 19th 2007
We ended up at the emergency room last night. I had some cramping and a dark brown discharge. I had a wonderful doctor that answered all my questions and spent a lot of time explaining things to us. I told him that I was concerned about my progesterone level, my ob had yet to check it so he checked that, repeated my HCG, and ordered another ultrasound. Progesterone was well within normal range for the first trimester he said. HCG had gone from 955 to 1735 in about 36 hours and the gestational sac had grown, though nothing visible as of yet. He said that was completely normal with numbers like mine. He wrote an order for my HCG to be repeated on Sunday, 48 hours after the last, and called my ob which said (hes a little Asian man with a very cute accent) "thats perfect, perfect, go home rest and enjoy being pregnant". So we came home laid down and enjoyed being pregnant. I wish you all the very best luck with your pregnancies, and healthy beautiful babies!

October 21, 2007

Well I took my order to the hospital this morning for my repeat blood work. HCG went from 1730 to 3307 in a little less than 48 hours (about 45). See the OB tomorrow, so far so good!

October 29, 2007
Dr. Mitchell saw me today because he had some concerns about my bloodcount. Ended up doing nothing about it but we got another ultrasound. Babys heartbeat is 120 bpm. He said I will probably go on to carry full term despite the bleeding. His theory is "some women just do that". Thats comforting enough for me. He set another appointment for 2 weeks. Let's just see if i can refrain from having an anxiety attack till then! These first few months are torture. I wish they came with a fast forward button.

November 2, 2007

I had my HCG repeated today, again, lol. It was 37290. I was looking at some of the other mothers pages to see if I could kind of compare myself to them. Not alot of people post their numbers. I am sure though, not alot of women are high risk and require as much prenatal observation as I do. The 31st, we had another ultrasound, baby had grown from crl of 3.3 to 3.8mm and the heartbeat was now at 125 (increased 5 beats per minute in 2 days and is still about 15 beats per minute ahead of gestation). My hcg level that day was 25246, so it increased about 50% in 2 days, which OB said was fine after about 6,000 levels can take 72-96 hours for doubling and after 15,000 it can take longer than 4 days. I wish I could talk to hubby and tell him our babys growing and is strong, just like his/her daddy. I miss him so much. When you get access to the internet hunny, I love you I miss you and our bed is so empty without you, I miss snuggling up to you and the way you smell. I think I am going to dress the cat up in your shirt and spray your cologne on him and make him snuggle with me. I'll take pictures! I'm sure that will make him REAL happy. I am on complete bed rest. So I am off to the couch!

November 7, 2007
Had a pretty eventful day. I went to see the ob, hcg is in the 50,000 and it won't be checked anymore. Babys just slightly under 2 cm and fetal heart rate was 171 beats per minute and got a change of due date June 19. Finally got hubbys new address so I can write and tell him everything. He still can't call so I am sure he's eager for an update. Sending him the old ultrasound picture along with the new so he can compare growth. Baby still looks very much like a bean lol. I go back next thursday for another ultrasound. The following week though I am on my own. OB is out of town. AHHH the agony!

November 15, 2007
Had another ultrasound baby looked great he said. We could see a body a head an arm and leg buds, no longer looked like a bean. Babys heartbeat was 182 and measuring great. I go back Nov 29th. Got a letter and phone call from hubby the same day. All in all it was a perfect day.

November 20, 2007
I am reallllllllly tired of the emotional roller coaster. I started cramping and bleeding AGAIN. My ob is out of town so his nurse directed me to the hospital. The baby looked good but found a small subchorionic bleed under the placenta. Apparently they aren't all that uncommon and usually resolve themselves. That and they say I am 10 weeks and 1 day instead of 9 weeks 2 days. Ok, Ok fine then

November 29 2007

Had another ultrasound . Baby looks fantastic I measured 11 weeks 1 day heart rate 169 bpm. I'm having this baby! I can't wait till June. Hubby is super excited. He said he has shown everyone the ultrasound pictures. One of his shipmates got the bad news that his wife had lost their baby while he was away. Kaleb said he helped him through it, and it made him so sad to remember all our losses and so very happy that we are finally having a normal pregnancy. He said "i am so ready for the next chapter in our life". I am too sweetheart.

December 17 2007

Well I've looked forward to today for 3 weeks! They said when I came in this time they would be able to tell me the sex of the baby. She started the ultrasound and measured juniors heartbeat, which was 161 beats per minute. Then she measured the head and by the time she was down to the belly, this child was sitting indian style! Now this was my 9th ultrasound and in ALL the others where baby was visible it was swimming and kicking and moving, not this time, this child moved its legs up indian style put its hand on the side of its face and stayed there. I couldnt believe it, which leads me to believe its a boy and it takes after its father. On a positive note... all that indian style sitting gave us a great view of its heels. My baby has heels!

March 24, 2008

I havent written in quite a while, I have had big time life changes, I moved to be with the husband now that hes out of one school and into another, the navy is very disruptive to my marriage! I was admitted to the hospital at 21 weeks and 5 days and told I probably wouldnt carry my baby... I had a fetal bleed also known as a slight abruption. My little guy pulled through and is great now in week 28. I have been in labor from the bleeding it irritates the uterus and causes me to contract which causes me to bleed. It seemed like a never ending cycle. We found out the sex, its a boy! Kanaan Landon canaan is from the bible. It refers to the promise land. After all we have been through to get this guy hes certainly deserving of the name! Hubby just got fully on board, until now it was fear of miscarriage, after that thee was the bleed and the survival rate of 0 at 21 weeks... at 28 weeks he would have to stay in the hospital but would survive... that and I am only one both inside and out, lost the plug though... during sex... completely freaked the husband out lol.. I think he refered to it as my vagina hocking a loogie on him LOL. So I have an NST on March 31, when I reach 4 they will go ahead and take him c section, my next NST and delivery evaluation is 4-14. He said I will more than likely go between 32-36 weeks..

April 11 2008

This child is either in my ribs, so that I can't breathe or using my bladder as a trampoline. I was thinking that I should go get a tattoo across the top of my stomach that says CANADA and one on the bottom of my stomach that says MEXICO, then send Kanaan a letter telling him to stay in the united states.

April 20 2008

Well its official, I am a dumbass. I did something today that just shocked and amazed me. Kaleb bought some sour nerds, and he was goofing around with them and dropped the container spilling nerds all on the floor. I laughed at him "hahahaha you dropped all your candy!" He cleaned them up grumbled and ended up calling his dad about vermouth in the olives, who knew? So the keyboard and mouse are in the floor and i lean over the side of the bed to surf the interwebs and the next thing I remember is thinking, hey thats kinda tangy..... wait... what is that....

I picked up a nerd off the floor I put it in my mouth on the way to the mouse and I had no idea. Now I'm 32 weeks pregnant here and I eat everything that doesnt move real fast but thats ridiculous. My mother didnt seem all that shocked she reminded me of the time (i was pregnant so shut up) she had a butterrum lifesaver in her mouth and I said hey what is that and went in to her personal space to sniff it out.... But that was a BUTTERRUM LIFESAVER so thats completely understandable, it wasnt some nasty nerd. Since bedrest I have just started going to hell in a handbasket I tell you. To hell in a handbasket. I'm eating off the floor! Who does that? My CATS wont eat off the floor!?! My grandmother just gave me a lecture about kosher (shes jewish 2 days a week) then about getting hoof and rot disease. She ended the sentence with her favorite coined phrase "To who tied it"

"Angel if you get hoof and rot disease youre going to be into it to who tied it"

I dont even know what that means so I just said I know, What can you possibly say to that comment that can make a valid point?! I dont know what it means! I dont know what hoof and rot disease is and for 30 years I've been trying to find out who tied it! How can you argue with words that dont express coherent thought? Thats like if I say to you HOT WATER FROG FERRET MILKSHAKE, to who tied it

You cant argue with that kind of logic

KANAANS HERE!

May 6 I was feeling particularly crappy, pregnancy can do that. My ob sent me to labor and delivery and came in to check me, I was dilated and my water bag was bulging out of my cervix. He decided at 1230pm to do a c section. Kanaan was delivered at 226pm weighing 6 pounds 2 ounces. He is perfect and I couldnt be happier. He had a little trouble breathing, was on CPAP for about 12 hours, he is breathing on his own, tolerating his feedings and maintaining his body temp. He has to gain weight and he can come home. My delivery was perfect, my recovery has been wonderful, my baby is healthy and beautiful. I am so very blessed. I am posting pictures of him in the album above to the right. Thank you all so much for your well wishes

May 10 2008

I called the NICU all night long, I cried when I left the hospital. Leaving Kanaan there was SO hard. He is doing really well. Because he wasnt allowed to eat until he was 48 hours old (not uncommon in premies) he went from 6lbs 2oz to 5lbs 13 oz. This morning he was 6lbs .02 oz, so we are ALMOST back to his birth weight! YAY! I am waiting for his neonatologist to call this morning. They say he is tolerating his feedings great, having no more problems holding his temp (last night he was a little cold at 97.9 and they moved him from the drafty place he was and he recovered fine). I am going to the hospital soon, unfortunately for me I now have an infection in my incision and staples are ozzing. OB put me on 2 kinds of antibiotics and some pain medication, which i hadnt needed up until now. Theres a hard knot next to one side of my incision (the right side I have the up and down cut not the bikini). I can not wait to bring my son home. My husband is very crabby he feels like we are failing Kanaan because we can not be his parents full time right now. I go to the hospital every chance I get which is hard due to the walk. While I was in there I missed one feeding a night at 1:30 so I could rest but I went every 3 hours faithfully, and I spent at least an hour just holding and talking to him, unless it was shift change, they run you out at that point. I spent so much time with him like that, now I am really feeling seperation anxiety. Ugh. He will be home soon. We get an estimate from his dr today on his release. We are hoping monday. I get to breastfeed for the first time today, up until now its been pumped milk in a bottle. Hope he transitions well!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!

We get to bring Kanaan home tomorrow! Oh what a mothers day gift!! The hospital called with his update from the dr and to tell me that they dont want me to come visit him due to the infection, they said he is fine and I need to rest so I can take care of him when he comes home tomorrow! I was crying because I couldnt go see him and then because I get to bring him home. I must be the happiest mom in the world. My family can finally be together. There are no kids allowed in the NICU so the kids have only seen pictures and him through the glass at a distance. He was so far away from the windows and attached to machines so I couldnt bring him closer. His daddy just took him some extra milk and his car seat. They do a carseat test with premies. They put them on the pulse ox monitors respitory rate and heart monitors then put them in their carseats to make sure the position of their heads and pressure on their chests doesnt cause breathing distress. They leave them in for a few hours on monitors. If it goes well he can come home in the carseat if not we have to buy one of those premie head boppy things. We already have one and are sending it JIC

Happy Mothers Day to all of my mommy friends and mommy-to-bes!

BOO FOR BODY TEMPS!

Kanaan had a slight set back... his body temp was POINT 1 lower than it should be so he has to stay one day more. BOOBOOBOO

I'm all for it if he needs it, but .1 degrees? Then these retarded asshats tell me I cant come see my baby, that I need to rest, well hahaahahaha hardee hahahaha thats very unlikely little neonatal nurse, you must not know me so I will let you slide with acting like telling me I need to stay home is going to actually accomplish anything but making me laugh and get dressed faster.