| nessi | |
| nessi has 99 days to go and is now in week 25 | |
 | Age: 21 Country: US Province/region: New jersey City: Jersey city Partner: CHRISTIAN- THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 02 Nov ,2008 Occupation: NURSING STUDENT |
| Online: 4 hours ago. Last updated: 2 days ago. Member since: 319 days | |
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HELLO LADIES WELL IM CURRENTLY EXPECTING AGIN THIS WOULD BE MY SECOND PREGNACY AND HOPEFULLY MY 1ST CHILD. I WAS PREGNANT AND HAD A MISCARRIAGE AT 16 WEEKS WITH TWINS IN NOVEMBER 2007. IT WAS THE HARDEST THING IVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE. I LOVE MY TWINS AND I WILL ALWAYS REMEBER THEM AS MY 1ST CHILDREN. THEY LIVE ON IN MY HEART FOREVER .BUT NOW IM VERY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS PREGNANCY BECAUSE I KNOW MY ANGELS AND GOD WILL WATCH OVER THIS ANGEL WHICH GROWS WITHIN ME. I GOT A CERCLAUGE ON MAY 12, 2008 AND HOPEFULLY ON NOVEMBER 2ND MY LIL ANGEL WILL BE HERE. GOOD LUCK TO U ALL LADIES.
BELOW IS MY STORY WITH LOSING MY TWINS.
DECEMBER,2008
MY HEART IS IN PAIN AND I JUST NEED TO WRITE. ON NOVEMBER 29TH I HAD A FEELING I HAD TO TAKE A SHIT SO I WENT TO BATHROOM AND NOTHING I WAS CONSTIPATED SO I WAS STRAINING. WHEN I WENT TO WIPE MYSELF DOWN THEIR IT FELT HARD, I KNEW IT WASNT NORMAL, SO I DECIDED TO LAY DOWN AND PRAY THAT' IT WENT AWAY, THE HARDNESS ONMY VAGINA WENT AWAY I HAD NO BLEEDING OR NOTHING UNTIL AFTER AN HOUR AND A HALF AFTER. I WIPED MYSELF AGAIN AND THEIR WAS BLOOD, ,MY HEART SANK I WAS RUSHED BY AMBULANCE TO THE ER WHERE THEY GAVE ME AN ULTRASOUND, MY TWINS WERE ALIVE HAD NORMAL HEARTBEATS AND WERE KICKING, THIS RELIEVED SOME OF MY ANXIETY AS I KNEW THEY WERE OK, BUT Y WAS I BLEEDING. THE DOCTOR HAD DONE A MANUAL EXAM AND HAD DETERMINED THAT MY CERVIX HAD DIALATED TO 2 CM, AND ONE OF THE BABIES AMNIOTIC SAC HAD SLIPPED THROUGH A BIT. THEY COULDNT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I WAS HAVING AN INEVITABLE MISCARRIAGE. ITS SO HARD THE PAIN I STILL FEEL INMY HEART WAS WORSE WHEN THEY TOLD ME I HAD TO PUSH THEM OUT LIKE A REGULAR BIRTH.. I WENT INTO HYSTERIA KNOWING THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO PUSH OUT MY LIFELESS CHILDREN. I HAD SEVERE CRAMPING LABOR PAINS, AND THEY DRUGGED ME UP WITH DEMEROL WHICH DID NOT WORK BECAUSE MY CONTRACTIONS OUTPOWERED THE DRUGS.I HAD TO STAY IN THE HOSPITAL UNTIL I DELIVERED. AS THE HOURS WENT BY, MY CONTRCTIONS GOT STRONGER , I WAS DRUGGED UP EVERY 2 HOURS AND WAS SUFFERING MY HEART WAS IN PAIN MY BODY WAS IN PAIN AND MY HUSBAND WAS IN PAIN AS THIS PREGNANCY WAS OUR FIRST AND THEN ON TOP WE WERE LOSING 2 BABIES.THE NEXT DAY I AWOKE BETTER, THE CONTRACTIONS HAD SUBSIDED A BIT I HAD BREAKFAST , AND AT 12:05PM THE TIME HAD CAME WHERE MY BODY HAD AN URGE TO PUSH AND THEN I PUSHED OUT MY BABY. MY 1ST BABY WHICH WAS A BOY FELL ONTO MY THIGHS AND I IMMEDIATELY FELT MY HEART SHATTER. FEELING THE WARMNESS ON MY THIGH JUST DROVE ME NUTS KNOWING THAT MY CHILD WAS DEAD BROKE ME DOWN FURTHER. AS THE DOCTORS AND MY HUSBADN TRIED TO CONSOLE ME I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PUSH AGAIN, THIS TIME MY BODY WAS PUSHING OUT MY BABY GIRL. WHO ALSO FELL ONTO MY THIGHS AND AS YO CAN IMAGINE I WAS UNCONSOLABLE.I WAS GIVEN THE OPTION TO HOLD MY CHILDREN WHICH AT FIRST I DIDNT WANT TO, BUT THEN I DECIDE TO HOLD THEM AND WHEN I HELD MY LIFELESS CHILDREN IN MY ARMS MY HEART SUNCK FURTHER INTO THE OCEAN JUST LOOKING AT HOW BIG THEY WERE AND JUST NOTICING THAT MY BABY BOY LOOKED LIKE ME HAD MY EYES MY NOSE MY FACE FRAME AND MY LIL GIRL LOOKED JUST LIKE HER FATHER WITH HIS EYE COLOR HIS ROUND FACE AND HIS BIG LIPS MADE ME BRAKE DOWN FURTHER. AS I HANDED THEM OVER TO THEIR FATHER ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS WHY? I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAVE HAD MANY ABORTIONS AND ARE HAVING HEALTHY PREGNANCIES(EXCUSE ME BUT I DONT MEAN TO OFFEND THISE FEMALES WHO HAVE HAD ABORTIONS BUT I AM AGAINST THEM) AND ME WHO NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN PREGNANT AND NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE HAD AN ABORTION WAS HAVING MY CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY. BUT GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS AND I KNOW THAT MY BABIES WERENT READY TO COME INTO THIS CRUEL WORLD. NOT YET AL LEAST!!BUT I HAVE NEVER BEENTHROUGH SUCH A HARD SITUATION INMY LIFE TO LOOSE YOUR CHILDREN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS IN THE WORLD AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO ALL THOSE WOMEN EWHO HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN. GOD BLESSED ME WITH 2 ANGELS FOR 4 AND A HALF MONTHSAND ALTHOUGH MY LIFE WASNT TAKEN ON THAT DAY, LIFE WAS TAKEN FROM WITHIN ME WHICH HAS LEFT ME WITH A BIG EMPTYNESS IN MY HEART. I MISS HOW I USED TO FEEL BEING PREGNANT, THE KICKS, THE MORNING SICKNESS, THE RAGING HORMONES THAT MADE ME SENTIMENTAL AT EVERYTHING. I MISS IT. I KNOW MY 2 LIL ANGELS ARE WATCHING OVER MEAND MY FAMILY AND I KNOW THAT WHEN THEY ARE READY GOD WILL GIVE THEM BACK TO ME. I LOVE YOU angel sanchez AND angeli SANCHEZ. MAY YOU RIP YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON IN MY HEART. I LOVE YOU'S. LOVE MOMMYAND DADDY!!
Mommy's little babies are not really far away
I'm keeping yall in my heart and that's how it's gonna stay!
Although yall didn't meet me and look into my eyes
Mommy will be thinking of yall when I look up in the skies
And when I feel the sunshine ... shining down on me
I will know you're safe & happy and where you have to be
I have so many questions and there are no answers to find
But don't think for just a second that you'll ever leave my mind
You my precious angels made a mommy out of me
But our Father up in Heaven chose to raise you instead of me
God must have so much in store and wonderful plans for you
So I will carry this burden of pain so all your dreams come true!
So don't you cry any tears my love - be happy and be free
When God decides it's time....you will meet Daddy and me
You are very special both here and in heaven above
No matter where you are my angel you have Daddy & Mommy's Love!
May 14, 2008- Well tomorrow is my 21st birthday and im 15 weeks pregnant i got my cerclauge on the 12th of may so hopefully all will go well from this point on. im posting up my baby journal.
The day you deliver, outside will be hazy. Your baby will arrive in the evening.
After a labor lasting approximately 7 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 6 pounds, 2 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have green eyes and a little patch of brown hair.
About You
Name?: Vanessa
Age?: 21
Height?: 5'7
Pre-pregnancy weight?: 163lbs
About The Father
Name?: Christian
Age?: 26
Height?: 5’6
Are you still together?: Going on 5 years and still strong
About Your Pregnancy
Is this your first pregnancy?: No my 2nd my 1st ended in a miscarriage.
When did you find out you were pregnant?: ) 3-5-07 day of expected period.
Was it planned?: yes
What was your first reaction?: Scared and happy
Who was with you when you found out?: My husband
Who was the first person you told?: besides my husband My brother and sister
How did your parents react?: they don’t know about this pregnancy yet.
How far along are you?: 15 weeks
What was your first symptom?: Missed period..
What is your due date?: November 2 ,2008
Do you know the sex of the baby?: no soon I will
If so, what is it?: don’t know
Have you picked out names?: sort of
If so, what are they?: u cant know
How much weight have you gained?: 2lbs...
Do you have stretch marks?: one from my twin pregnancy
Have you felt the baby move?: Yep, yep!!!
Have you heard the heartbeat?: Yes...and it makes me smile each and everytime!
About the birth
Will you keep the baby?: of coarse
Home or hospital birth?: hospital
Natural or medicated birth?: we'll see lol
Who will be in the delivery room with you?: my husband
Will you breastfeed?: I want too.
. Do you think you'll need a c-section?: I hope not
Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: of coarse...I will be witnessing a miracle…
What's the first thing you might say to him/her?: I love you.
Would you let someone videotape the birth?: yeah
Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: a little of both
I am 14 weeks pregnant making that 3 and ½ months
that you have been living within me. I eat for you,
sleep for you, cry and laugh for you, and it’s only the
beginning. My whole life is yours it’s dedicated to you and it was from the
very start. Me and your father wanted you so bad
And when I found out you were inside of me,
I started to cry because I knew that you would be
a miracle onto this earth. My unborn child,
my angel I love you with all my heart.
Till tomorrow when I will write you again
MY PREGNANCY!!!
February, 2008 - Mommy still didn’t know you were inside of her to a few weeks later. I tested and tested and kept on coming up negative. Mommy was disappointed.
March,2008- On March 5th I was expected to get my menstrual cycle and I didn’t get it. I tested and their were those 2 light pink lines that told me that you were inside of me. I was scared and so so so happy !!!!
April,2008- On April fools day(April1st) I had my first doctors appointment with Doctor Boamah
He gave me a picture of you when you were really really tiny about the size of a grain of rice. About 8 weeks old. I started to cry when I seen you. You are so little still and yet I love you like no one ever will.
May,2008- Still don’t have no morning sickness you have been treating
Mommy really good. Well you scared me because I started to
Bleed I thought I was losing you. Went to the E.R. and they
showed me you and you were already formed. Your lil toes
were wiggling. I was so happy that you were still inside of me.
They scheduled me for a cerclauge on May 12th to
make sure you stay inside. Love you.
May 08,2008- Hello my angel hope you are ok . You scared me last night mommy started to bleed a lot and was scared once again that I was going to loose you. The doc said you were ok. I heard your heartbeat and it made mommy cry. Well tomorrow I have a doctor appt. with Doctor. Boamah hope he gives me good news. I love you so much no one will ever understand the love the grows inside of me for someone I don’t even know yet. I love you my angel.
Here is a quote I really love. “Pregnancy is a time when a woman can assist God in creating a Miracle.” and my child you truly are one. I love you.
May 10th,2008- My Angel you have made it to 15 weeks. Today you have been living within me for 15 weeks I cant believe how time flies. I will be meeting you very soon if time keeps on flying the way it is. I love you.
May 11th,2208- Hey my love, well today is Mother’s Day and I had a really nice day. I spent the day with grandma Lillian, daddy, and your great grandma. I had a beautiful time. Daddy took me and grandma out to eat and you gave me a surprise today. For the first time since you have been in my belly, I threw up today. Yucky!!! But I was happy because I knew you were okay. Well sweetie tomorrow mommy gets sewed up and I have to be at the hospital at 6 am so I have to get enough rest so that ill feel good after everything is done. Well my love , I will talk to you very soon. I love you with all of my heart and cant wait to meet you.
May14th,2008- Good morning my angel its 8:50am and im writing to you, well on May 12 mommy got sewed up.mommy was in a lot of pain and it still hurts today. but not as bad. I feel you moving around right now, which is the best feeling in the world. i soon will find out if you are a boy or a girl within another 4 weeks I will know. I cant wait so that i can start calling you by your name. My 21st birthday is tomorrow and hopefully i will feel ok. i think i will go and see your cousins Nyla,xavier,and nyissa and your titi sasha. well my love I cant wait to meet you. I love you.
May19,2008- hey my love its been a while since mommy wrote to you. well my birthday was last thursday on may 15 mommy turned 21 i know im young. well my love i started to work again today it was frustrating because i was very cautious with everything i did. i made sure not to lift heavy things or strain myself to much, so i decided to do office work. my love I cant wait to meet you im crying right now because i can just picture the day i hold you in my arms. i love you and cant wait to see you.
June 04,2008- hey my love how are you its 8:40 pm and i see i havent wrritten in a while. well today i woke up with minor pain on my legs. i think its my sciatic nerve that is pinched really bad. right now i think you are laying on my left side becuase thats where my leg is in pain. Mommy went to church sunday and you surprised me for the 3rd time since you been inside me with morning sickness. yuck it wass nasty but ill go through anything so that you can be ok. im 18 weeks and 4 day s and soon ill hit 5 motnths half way through. once im 5 months in another few weeks its going to be acotn down to meeting who you are. i still dont know if your a boy or girl and to be honest i dont care im going to love you the same no matter what you are. im suppose to find out once im 5 months so i will know soon. i cant wait to hold you in my arms. im feeling you move right now i guess you cant wait to meet your mommy either. i love you sweetie. keep growing nice and healthy and before we know it we will meet each other.
June 18,2008- hello my lil angel pie. this is mommy again well first off i want to say that i love you and that i cant wait to meet you. right now its 7:59pm and i just got in form work. im very tired i just want to go to sleep. well you are very active inside my tummy im feeling you move and kick. i cant believe that its been 20 weeks already illbe 21 weeks on the saturday. i still dont know what you are but for some weird reason i think you are a girl. i had a wonderful dream with a lil baby girl and the way she looked ever since then i think that you are a girl. im going to go shopping for you this weekend new clothes lil hats and lil itty bittty socks. i cant wait. well my lil angel mommy is going to get in the shower so i can go take a nap. i love you and stay strong and healthy in my belly. in another few weeks me, and daddy will finally get to meet who you are.but for now i will pray to our father in heaven Jesus Christ to allow you to stay strong and healthy till we meet. i love you my angel.
July 3rd..... hello my angel pie. i feel you everyday now... its such an awesome feeling knowing that your inside of me exploring your surroundings. ive read that you can hear me to at this point im 22 weeks or six months pregnant whichever you prefer . i wonder what you think of me now. i love you oh so dearly. i still dont know what ou are i dont care i dont even think i wanna know i want it to be a surprise but your father is eager to know. well my angel pie tomorrow is July 4th and me and daddy are undecicive of what we want to do.... well see ... i cant wait to meet you and tie is flying but i want it to go by faster so that i could hold you in my arms. my baby, my love, my everything. i love you and i cant wait to see your lil angel face.... love you.
July 15th,2008- hey my lil princess well yesterday was tio chungos birthday and he was happy he turned 21 but he got a nice lil gift to know what u are.... i went to doctor boamah's office and he did a genral checkup of me to make sure i was ok. then he did an ultrasound and you were very very active a seen your lil feet arms and hands and then the doctor said if i wanted to know the sex ... of course i want to know if you can tell..... lol well then he said you are having a girl i was so exited and i am very exited about writing this. you are my lil princess and i love you. cant wait to meet you in about 16 weeks..... im loving this journey!!!
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chips - 6.2 hours ago
hey
dear friends my children on summer holidays
so I will not be able to reply to any messages that quick
but I will
so please keep informed
god bless you all
themommyofangels - 23.7 hours ago
I LOVE THE DRESS! themommyofangels - 23.7 hours ago
AWW HOW CUTe themommyofangels - 29.7 hours ago
I READ YOUR STORY. IM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. NOVEMBER WAS A HARD MONTH ON BOTH OF US. MY TWINS WERE BORN NOV. 12... MY SON DIED THAT DAY. AND MY DAUGHTER LIVED TIL THE 14TH... IVE MET MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR TWINS AND ITS HEART BREAKING. I TRULY DONT UNDERSTAND IT... I HOPE THIS PREGNANCY GOES GREAT. I SEE YOU ARE IN WEEK 25 SO THE CERCLAGE HAS WORKED PRETTY WELL.. I HAVE MINE NEXT WENS. PRAY FOR ME N MY LITTLE ONE. GOOD LUCK! GOD BLESS!
chips - Thursday, 24 July
Thankyou for all your lovely messages on our BFP!! god bless you all
alerie - Thursday, 24 July
I wish I knew what to tell you about the back pain b/c I'm having it too. Work I think has a lot to do with mine b/c I'm sitting leaned over a desk all day, I mentioned it to my Dr. but he said that most women will be experiencing some sort of back pain. Not the answer I was hoping for. I was hoping he'd take me out of work...lol...If it keeps on tho I think I may just end up letting my job go b/c I can't deal with this pain every day. I hope you get some relief. Best of Luck!
dcarr0404 - Thursday, 24 July
Im right with you on the back pain. I have a tilted cervix(I think thats what it is) so they said I'll have more back pain than others. It really stinks! I can't do a dang thing without it hurting!! Hang in there and take some Tylenol and rest as much as you can!
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24-7-2008 - I MISS MY ANGELS...
15-7-2008 - AND ITS A....
30-6-2008 - STRESS DURING PREGNANCY!!
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