Hi all.

I am 28 years old. Me and my hubby TTC for a year. And after half a year of trying I start to feel stress and a pair of our close friend told us they just try for 2 months and they got pregnant right away. It is really push me to the edge. I know a lot of people told me that half a year is not long but when I really want something to happen and it is not happening. Half a year really enough to kill me. Finally my hubby agree to seek some help even he don't want to. (Thankyou so much JJ)

We went to the doctor and he do the simple test of us then sent us to a IVF doctor. And it took us 2 and 1/2 months to finish all the extra test and get the result, Then the doctor told us that from the result of the test can explain why we take a while to fall pregnant. For his opinion we will just have 1-2% chance per month to fall pregnant. It may take us up to 5 years to wait to see what will happen. I was like oh my god. I want 2 children in my life and i don't want to put it too late. But i feel he don't really explain to us much a lot of time he was like try to sell me the expensive IVF treatment as early as the the first visit so I decided to seek for the second opinion. We take all the result to another infertiltiy doctor in public hospital (I try public hospital is because I think they won't be like the private one try to sell treatment to us, beside it is more affordable), and we still got the same answer. So we think that will be the only way for us to get us pregnant faster. (I really don't want to wait for 5 years) We booked in for the appointment to see the nurses to start the treatment on 16/11.

I quit my job because for my job I need to move stuffs around everyday. And it is around 14kg each box. It is not really light at all. In my department most of the lady are over 45. And I am the second in charge in the department I don't want them to hurt so normally that is my job to move things around after the delivery arrived. I was thinking how can I have this job with those painful treatment? Beside I won't allow anything happen to my baby. If I lose the baby because of my job?! NO WAY!! So i resigned from my company early this month. And I was just resting my over run body at home. To prepare myself for the IVF treatment, but I found I am still very tired that I could sleep till mid-day even i didn't go to work for a week already. I was thinking I must be too tired from before. I was so glad I didn't wait till my treatment start to quit my job.

It was 4 days late from my AF. I have a pretty regular cycle (27days to 34 days). I didn't think I am pregnant untill my mum called. She was joking to me and said miracle can happen. And I was like Yeah yeah yeah~ my period cramp was already there. I was just waiting the messy part come. But I get some funny feeling and at home i had 2 pregnancy test that i brought few months ago. I just think oh well~ let's try if it is not coming tomorrow.

Here we go~~There is my little miracle. (Maybe I should called it as a god gift)

17/10

I woke up at 3am because I need to loo. Forget to put the pregnancy test in the toilet, so...... I didn't do it =P Too sleepy to go to get the test. Went back to my bed and sleep till afternoon Again!! Crazy!!

Mum called at 4pm and asked if i did the pregnancy test yet~ No! She reminded if I can put the test in the toilet the night before i went to bed then it will save me a lot of trouble. I was like YES! MUM. I feel so funny that my mum really want me to do the test.

18/10

I woke up at 5:45am, went to the toilet and saw the test. Yeah! I was not hoping so much. After finished I saw a red line appeared in the control window?! I know what that mean! I did read the instruction before i did the test. But I still couldn't believe it. I read the instruction 3 more time (Stupid reaction Ha! Ha!). Then I woke my hubby up. He was like what the!! What time is it? I told him 7am. Because I think it was 7. And he look at the clock and said ??? 7??? did u wear ur glasses? It is 6am not 7am. HA HA! I laughed. He wanna back to sleep and I handed in my test in front of him. He asked what is that? I said it is something said we don't need an IVF treatment. He laughed and huged me. Then he said Cool! with a big smile in his face but he was go back to sleep in 5 mins!!

How can he sleep again?! Honestly, I couldn't and I started to read a lot and search about pregnancy on the net then make him some breakfast. Don't really feel tired for whole day. I think I am too excited.

I called the medicial centre at 9am but only 4:15pm have doctor free to see me. I did the blood test for pregnancy that day. Pain!

19/10

My feeling of nausea came at 9:30pm tonight when I called my mum to let her know what is the result is. It was really strong feeling. I had those feeling for maybe a week ago but i had mild nausea almost every month before the period come so i didn't pay much attention but this time I really need to lay in bed to make me feel better.

20/10 ~22/10

Feeling sick 24/7 started to think am I sick or I am actually pregnant. Confuse!!

23/10

The doctor said congrats to me. The test result said I am around 5 to 6 weeks pregnant. and she count the EDD for me as well. It will be 18 Jun 2008. I am PREGNANT. I finally believed I am pregnant.

And I told the doctor I feel so much cramps under my right side abdominal and now i know I am pregnant I am really worry about it. She sent me to goto do the early U/S to make sure everything is right. Booked appointment on 2 Nov at 8:30am for the first U/S.

24/10~30/10

My tummy cramps, back pains and nausea was really killing me. I can lay in bed with tears all day. I started to say to my hubby. I know it will be hard to be a mum but i didn't expect all those pains!! I can't eat and 1 day feel like 1 year long. But I am handling I know I will. (In deed what choice I have??!)

28/10

I found out my dad was really sick. He went to ER 8 times in past 45 days. Stay in hospital 20+ days, but nobody tell me at all. Untill today mum feel i am stable after found out my pregnancy, so she finally told me all of those. I am so worry coz' I am in Australia and they are in Hong Kong. I can't just run to them. I feel so useless. and I can't sleep at night. I opened my eyes till 6am. Eventually, I fell asleep maybe 6:30am I got no idea~

29/10~31/10

I am so tired I can't sleep at night and every night I won't close my eyes before 4am. My brain is too active. I can't help but i try to not sleep in the morning see if i can sleep at night. NO!!! I can't. I can't really eat and I can't sleep. I started to wonder when it will stop.

31/10

I fell asleep about 5am and I had a horrible nightmare. I dreamed that I went to pee and a lot blood came out. I freaked out. I woke up at 8am and I was so worry for the whole day. At last, I cried and told my hubby about my dream. He was so upset and told me I was too stress and worries too much coz' i read too much from the net that i worry i will lose the baby. Have dinner out found out i can have spicy food without feeling nausea after eat.

1/11

Honestly I was still worry about the nightmare i made the night before. But what I can do. I was so upset still and laid in bed for whole day with a horrible tummy cramps! i hope everything alright for my baby.

2/11

Wake up in the morning feeling i am like an idiot. I had a crazy dream again. I dreamed i carried a chair and 2 umbrellas going around when it is raining outside. But this time I take it as a positive dream. I carried 2 umbrellas because i have a baby with me so i need the umbrella for the baby. The chair is so heavy so I think I will have a big baby HAHA!

I still worry and being careful. Everytime I go to toilet I still scare anything will happen. 8:40am. I have my first U/S. There is a gestational sac with a yolk sac and a foetal pole. I am so glad baby in the right place and growing. And I saw the baby's heart beat. The lady told me the rate in 132bpm which is good. But they think the baby just 6wks 4 days not as far as we thought before. Doctor told me I am 7wks 2days today. It is all good because everyone have different cycle maybe this month i ovluate later. My EDD push to 23 Jun 2008.

1pm. I took the result to the doctor. She read the report then said it seem alright, but there is a small amount of subchorionic haemorrhage. It is not common but no worry. She said she will arrange another U/S for me later. OMG! This is really hit me hard. I was over the moon coz' I can see my baby the first time this morning. Then now she told me there is some sort of bleed next to the baby =.=!! I don't know what to feel and what to think. She didn't explain to me too much only told me that can happen sometimes. I went home and I can't help to search around try to find out what is Subchorionic Haemorrhage. After all those search! Scary but i feel better. It can be very serious but i read a lot of successful story. I told myself even doctor didn't tell me anything but from my search they said if it happen better put urself on bedrest. That is mean lay in bed and rest for few weeks nothing u can do only lay in bed. Crazy huh! It is because it will slightly increase chance of miscarriage. I am planning to do it coz' I won't take any chance. It will be painful to be like that but i want the bleed gone and that is the only way. If not it will scare me more later on. Maybe i just worry too much! But i prefer to be safe then sorry. RIGHT?! Pray for me gals!

And I hope everyone have a healthy pregnancy. God bless us all.

4/11

I stayed in my bed all day yesterday except I was online for few hours. I feel like HELL! I can't just stay in bed. (CRY) But I will try my best to try to stay in bed as much as I can.

Today is a naughty day. I was not staying in bed all day. I get up about 11:30am, My hubby keep talking to me and try to wake me up at that time. I think he is bored. And he gave his aunt a call then we went out for lunch.

About 3pm we went to his aunt's home. Have a nice afternoon there and finally let her know I am pregnant. She was so delight. She hurt her back 3 months ago and she still jumping because she is so happy. She know that when she saw me. Maybe I am really getting bigger or what. But when I told my hubby I am sorry can't help him to help his aunt to move stuff around. His aunt asked me am I pregnant right away. she said she wanna ask when she saw me but she worry if i am not i will get really upset. Even we want to tell people about my pregnancy after 12 weeks passed.HAHAHA! She is so dear to us. I can't hide from her.

Then at last we left her home at 9pm then it is too late so we went to dinner and finally we get home at 10:30pm. I know I am naughty today, but I was being so careful. I didn't walk alot. I actually sit a lot. I hope I didn't do anything wrong today. Tummy still cramping on and off, but i can handle it. And I will stay in my bed tomorrow. I won't be naughty for at least 5 more day till my hubby next day off. I just can't stay in bed when he is beside me. I feel it is not fair for him, but at the same time i don't want him to leave me alone at home. So i will be careful but i may go out with him for some food or somthing next weekend. I think it won't be too bad, right?!

I will have my next doctor appt. on Wed. So will keep you gals update. God bless all of us.

7/11

I came back from doctor now. I really don't know if I want to change my GP or not. I pick share care that is mean I will goto see my normal GP till maybe week 34 then change to hospital to see the doctor or midwife who will do my labor for 2 times then that is all. So this GP will be my main caregiver, but today I am totally disappointed. This is what happened .

I booked my appointment at 12pm. I went there and then she said ur blood result came back and all good any question? I am like HUH?! She said if nothing u wanna ask then that is all today! She didn't do any check up for me ........ NOTHING!! I really feel is that all?! Is it normally they will see how heavy i weight or what!!!!! I just didn't get it. Gals please tell me what is the normal process on the pregnancy check up pls!! I really don't know. She did nothing but read the result then THAT IS ALL TODAY?! I asked what other test I need to do later and she just said there is a NT scan I can do between week10 to 13 to check the down syndrome. But I am just 28 so it is not really important and She said I can jusk skip it. If I think no matter what I am going ahead with the baby and won't think about abortion then there is no point to do it. Then when I asked about the bleed she said um...... she is trying to find the result from her computer. my goodness! Once she found the result then she said It is ok no worry we will see and check up on 19 or 20 weeks U/S. urgh............what kind of doctor she is?! I am just almost 8 week now and need to wait 11 or 12 more weeks before she is going to check it up??? Is it too long ?! And then she asked is it that it? then she asked me to call the hospital and back to see her in 4 weeks.

I really think this is not a good feeling that ur doctor seem not even care. I may think about change to a full hospital care. At least I will know who will do my labor better. I will talk to my hubby and see how's going. But I am not happy about how she act today no matter what. Maybe I am just too demanding but I need my doctor care of my pregnancy. And I learnt I need a list of question b4 going to see any doctor. Sorry being like that, I just wanna let it out.

12/11

Sorry gals I am feeling so sick and having a serious back pain right now. Sorry that I may not reply for awhile till i feel better. But no worry I will come online once I feel better. Take care all!

6/12

I am feeling better right now. Morning sickness getting better. Only thing is the back pain still very painful. Sometime those pain make me wanna throw up. But overall things going fine and better.

Tomorrow is my first midwife appointment. I feel kind of exciting but nervous at the same time. I really want to know how is my little one doing in my womb. So far I gained 1.8kg. Hope I can keep it and not getting too much weight gain so fast.

Next Tuesday I will have the NT scan, Then I can see my baby in the ultrasound cool!! Pray for me everything going well please! I am still worry every single day! I don't know why I worry but I am worrying all the time. I am stupid right?!

11/12

How's everyone feeling? I am feeling a lot better after my midwife appointment on 7/12. The midwife is so lovely. She explained to me a lot of things. She tried to find the baby's heartbeat by the dropper. She try for awhile and still can't find the heartbeat. But after few try she told me she can hear a very quiet heartbeat under mine. She told me it is because my heartbeat too stronge and the baby so small. Mine almost cover it up. I was so happy and at last i can feel a bit more relax after all those worry.

I will have my NT scan this afternoon. I don't know why but I am so nervous. I hope everything go well. Will let u guys know what is happening later.

The site got some problem so I can't see if I have any new message. I will reply once I can see it when I online. Have a good day gals! Take care.

2/5

Didn't write anything for almost 5 months. My dad is very sick so I went oversea for 5 weeks to visit my family in Hong Kong.

I had very stronge braxton hicks that scared my hubby. It is painful. At night I feel like there is a period coming. Maybe that is the reason why I feeling so tired all the time. At night can't sleep well. Toilet break almost every hour with tummy cramp. But in the morning I actually can handle it. Sometimes I prefer sleep in the morning coz' I will have less pain. And I told my midwife and she said it is fine those period like pain is normal. Only if i "Really" worry a lot i can call the hospital anytime.

Overall, I think I am fine. I had my glucose test. The first one seem a bit high so they sent me to do the full glucose test. And lucky me I am fine which is really good. I did worry a lot about the result before.

Now I am not far to go.... feeling scare.... don't know why but feel like nothing I done at all.... The house still messy and the nursey not ready. I am really worry a lot and don't know what i am thinking about at the moment.

Only thing I know I would like the baby stay in my tummy a bit longer let me have more time to settle myself. As long as the baby safe in my tummy even just one or two weeks longer that is good for me. (I know i am strange but I am really worry)