niknak's profile

niknak
	Age: 33 Country: US Province/region: Washington City: Seattle Partner: Tyler Children: Pregnant: Yes Due date: 08 Oct ,2008 Occupation: LIVING
	Online: 58 days ago. Last updated: 181 days ago. Member since: 238 days
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WELCOME TO NIKNAK'S PAGE!!

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago. While trying to get my medications just right for me, I began using drugs and a lot of alcohol...self medicating. Well, I've been clean and sober since December of 2007, thanks to drug and alcohol treatment, Alcoholics Annonymous, and Al-Anon. Not to mention the close support I've gotten from people I've met in my programs. My pregnancy has been one of the worst experiences of my life. I do not care about hearing my baby's heart beat or seeing an ultrasound. I am able to take a few of my bipolar meds, but not enough to really help. I see my psychiatrist once a week and run the risk of having post partum psychosis. I have a lot of anger and rage that I control by isolating myself. My emotions have put a huge strain on mine and my boyfriend's relationship. I try my best to not look pregnant so people don't ask me my due date, or even worse, touch my belly. I love kids and babies and I have always dreamed of being pregnant and being a mom, but dealing with bipolar along with that is overwhelming. I am a spiritual person and pray that God will help me. I'm still alive so he's doing something. I don't know what the hell stickydust is, but if anyone could fax me some, that would be great. I'm not looking for pitty, but if anyone can relate to any of my mess of a life, don't be afraid to leave a comment. Or even just to tell me I just depressed the hell out of you! Good luck to all! Thanks for reading.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

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Comments 1-25 to niknak
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marinomonster - Wednesday, 12 November
Sorry it's taken so long!
Jackson Taylor Marino was born October 8th, at 12:45 in the afternoon. I was in labor a grueling 28 hours, and finally delivered him! I didn't have an epidural, and no, I wasnt trying to be hard, lol, I think I was more afraid of the needle in my back than the pain of child birth. I end up having an episiotomy, and needed somewhere in the park of 15 stitches. Jackson weighed 7 and a half pounds and was 20 inches long.

I will post pictures!

Laura Ward - Wednesday, 5 November
Message to all: Message to all: Because of the controversial opinions and thoughts, please do not continue to discuss politics on the site. This includes private or public messages, comments, quotes, etc on ALL pages of the site, whether it be a weekly or monthly forum, your personal page or a friends page. If you choose to continue posting once this message has been posted, your account will be deleted from the site. Please report any member that continues to post these messages. Thank you all for your cooperation and help keeping this site friendly for everyone!

sharra - Thursday, 23 October
New pictures are up! Hi, a quick update! Sorry I have not responded to some of your messages in a while. The breast feeding adventure is taking so much of my time. Shawn is always on the boob! I am trying to get him to eat well and not fall asleep. It seems he will eat for a couple minutes and then fall asleep. So, he is only getting a little milk and not filling up. Any suggestions to get him to eat well so I am not having him on the boob every half an hour? He will sleep at night 3-4 hours, which is good, but during the day it can be trying. He is at his birth weight as of yesterday, so the milk is there.
I am going through the postpartum issues of night sweats, crying out of the blue, very sensitive to comments made by other family members, sore body...esp vaginal, feelings of being overwhelmed and cravings for crapy foods! Other than that, I am very in love with becoming a mom again. It feels very rewarding. I hope all you moms are doing well. I think of you and wonder how you all are doing. Please keep in touch. Sorry for the mass message. I will be able to personalize it soon. Take care.

sharra - Friday, 17 October
Hey, Mamas! I finaly had my baby boy...On 10/15/08 at 3:12 pm
Shawn Kenneth, 7.8 lbs, 21 inches long, 13 hours labor, induced with a cervical softner and an hour on pitocin. Labor went very fast on pitocin...I went from 4cm to 9cm in less than an hour...to fast for an epi...God Give Me Strength! Was able to get spinal block that lasted less than 2 hours long, but not long enough to feel baby decend! It was alot on me, but I got through it with the help of the nurses and doctor. God Bless Them! Shawn is beautiful and very quiet compared to my daughter when she was born. He is softly spoken and very present. He is brestfeeding pretty good. He latches on and will eat and sleep at the same time. I still am having to get use to the positioning, but it will all come in time.
I hope all of you are enjoying the moment, because it goes so fast. Thanks for being in my network and I will pop in and say hi as the weeks go on. Motherly peace and rest to you! Off to change a poopy diaper!

firsttimeinvonda - Wednesday, 15 October
Is your little one arrived yet? I can't wait to see some pics. Congrats.

brie - Friday, 10 October
I haven't been online in awhile so I'm sorry I'm a little late for your big day but how did everything go????? I am so excited for you! I can't believe your day finally came. It feels like everything is going by so fast. I'm sure you're so busy right now but when you have time let me know how you're doing.

Laura Ward - Monday, 6 October
Message to all This may be interesting to some of you. Seema`s email is seema.modhvadia@rdftelevision.com

Hi there,

I work for a television production company based in the UK . We are currently making a documentary for ITV1 exploring the issues surrounding pregnancy and eating disorders. The film will be a thoughtful and insightful look into this extremely sensitive subject.

We�re in the research stage of our production and very keen to chat to women who are, or have been, pregnant whilst having an eating disorder.

If you�re interested in having a chat or finding out more about our documentary, it would be really great to hear from you. All communication would be in complete confidence.

You can contact me on: seema.modhvadia@rdftelevision.com

Sx

caseylynn2 - Saturday, 4 October
Hi : ) how is everything going? How is the little one doing?

bunches - Wednesday, 1 October
HOw are you and bubba doing? Is she still breech? Hope you;re hanging in there

brie - Sunday, 21 September
Wow a lot is going on with you. I'm sorry to hear your baby is breech but I'm sure the c section will go just fine it is so common these days. My pregnancy has had its ups and downs so far. I've been having some migraines which my doctor was worried about. I took the gestational diabetes test and it came back normal but I am anemic. I also started having contractions two weeks ago so my doctor took me off work and put me on bed rest. I ended up having some type infection to go along with it so I was on some medicine for a week or so. Nothing seems to go that smoothly for either of us. I just pray that I don�t start having contractions again that was so terrifying. Good luck to you in the up coming weeks Oct 2 is just around the corner. Keep in touch on how everything is going.

bunches - Sunday, 21 September
HI Niknak, I just wanted to ask about your babys butt being engaged. I was told my babys butt was 3/5th into my pelvis... is that the same thing? Does that mean it's unlikely that she will turn?

judi - Saturday, 20 September
Thanks hon. Being pregnant seems like such a long time ago. Now all I have to complain about is the sore tummy, cracked nipples, endless dirty diapers and sleepless nights...

Seriously, though, she's an unbelievable little miracle. Sorry your cephalic version didn't work - stubborn little monkey, hey - but it's great to hear you talking about her in a positive loving way - you're gonna be such a great mommy! Hope the c-sec goes well. Please keep me updated. *love & hugs*

asya - Thursday, 18 September
I wouldn't be worried for the baby, i mean of course you never know, but i'm pretty sure the doctors know what they're doing and i think it's definetly worth a try, cause if it works, it'll be such a relief. I wish you all the best and that your version succeeds. I feel your pain girl ;)

coltonsmom - Thursday, 18 September
Thanks! I hope your pregnancy is going well too.. it's almost over for us both! I'm so excited... 8 days to go for me.

coltonsmom - Wednesday, 17 September
Awww, you have a molucan cockatoo!! We used to have one too. Her name was Molly. (I know, not original.) We adopted her and she had the absolute WORST plucking problem, I mean, she had a hole dud in her chest when we got her. We had her for over a year (I believe she was about 8 yrs. old from what our vet told us), and was doing so well... but she started plucking and self mutilating again. We lost her last year. I was devistated because she was the most awesome girl. So loving, so sweet.

asya - Wednesday, 17 September
Hi! read your comment on breech baby, i had the manual version yesterday, unfortunatly it didn't work for me. To be honest it hurt, and i started crying, but i didn't want to stop at any point or anything, it was a kind of pain you can cope with cause you know it's for a good purpose. I don't regret it a small bit and would do it again anytime if there was hope it would help. I really didn't get any mental trauma cause of the pain or even get scared or anything. It was over in a moment. I would definetly recommend trying it.

AngieP - Friday, 12 September
I had the manual version done with my son. Wow! Not fun! It was extremely, extremely painful! I was crying hystarically. Which is not like me. They gave me an IV and got me all ready incase I went into labor. After 3 tries the doctors called it quits. One doctor was pushing the head and one doctor was pushing the butt. I don't regret trying it. I ended up having a C-section at 39 weeks. Good luck! I hope it works for you. Sorry to be so honest. Maybe it won't be so painful for you.

softerxsin - Wednesday, 10 September
yeah my moms african grey does have a big vocabulary he likes to ring the phone and have conversations by himself.., he also picks up on cuss words so quick. its pretty funny. did she lay dud eggs? my mom has been waiting for her pionus to do it.

judi - Tuesday, 9 September
Hi there, hon. I saw that you'd left a post on the GD page, and it occurred to me that we haven't caught up in a while, so thanks for messaging me! Maybe you can help me better understand what kinds of things we should and shouldn't eat because I think I eat a pretty darn healthy diet, but now I'm afraid to eat anything!! A couple of slices of wholemeal wholegrain bread should be okay for lunch? What about vegetable juice? I had a banana just before I got the call from the hospital, so I suppose that's my ration of fruit for the day? Dinner tonight will be tuna with spinach, green beans and carrot served with brown rice and soy sauce. Should I use only skim milk or is low-fat okay?

How's your balancing act between depression and meds going? I do hope you're feeling okay. Gee, I was so happy after seeing the doctor yesterday and finding out baby turned head down well down, so I can give birth without a c-sec, then I get this news about GD. Uggghh!

softerxsin - Monday, 8 September

aww he has a bad plucking problem. he is presious, i love cockatoos they are the sweetest birds ive always wanted one but my mom ended up getting a pionus and african grey.

JenGrrrl - Sunday, 7 September
LOL! I agree with what you said about our babies being on their first diet. I would love to eat a cinnamon roll and a super big glass of milk. Hang in there!