niknak's profile

niknak
	Age: 33 Country: US Province/region: Washington City: Seattle Partner: Tyler Children: Pregnant: Yes Due date: 08 Oct ,2008 Occupation: LIVING
	Online: 58 days ago. Last updated: 181 days ago. Member since: 238 days
\| Profile \| Photos (19) \| Children (0) \| Blog (5) \| Polls (1) \| Agenda (0) \| Comments added (33) \| Notepad

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WELCOME TO NIKNAK'S PAGE!!

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago. While trying to get my medications just right for me, I began using drugs and a lot of alcohol...self medicating. Well, I've been clean and sober since December of 2007, thanks to drug and alcohol treatment, Alcoholics Annonymous, and Al-Anon. Not to mention the close support I've gotten from people I've met in my programs. My pregnancy has been one of the worst experiences of my life. I do not care about hearing my baby's heart beat or seeing an ultrasound. I am able to take a few of my bipolar meds, but not enough to really help. I see my psychiatrist once a week and run the risk of having post partum psychosis. I have a lot of anger and rage that I control by isolating myself. My emotions have put a huge strain on mine and my boyfriend's relationship. I try my best to not look pregnant so people don't ask me my due date, or even worse, touch my belly. I love kids and babies and I have always dreamed of being pregnant and being a mom, but dealing with bipolar along with that is overwhelming. I am a spiritual person and pray that God will help me. I'm still alive so he's doing something. I don't know what the hell stickydust is, but if anyone could fax me some, that would be great. I'm not looking for pitty, but if anyone can relate to any of my mess of a life, don't be afraid to leave a comment. Or even just to tell me I just depressed the hell out of you! Good luck to all! Thanks for reading.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

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Comments 101-125 to niknak
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almightyadam - Saturday, 31 May
thanks, the wedding was great! We are so happy. Glad things are going well for you

MarinoMonster - Friday, 30 May
thank you!

mommys first baby - Friday, 30 May
Hi your bird is so cute is he a Salmon Crested ccockatoo. My mom has one named major. me and him have a love hate type of thing cause we both always wanted moms attention. haha sibiling riverlry!! We had a cockatiel too who plucked his feathers like your! Well hope all is good with your baby and you i guess enough about birds from me

BabyMomma1008 - Friday, 30 May
I'm good, thanks. It was so hard to stay calm and not completely lose it...but I know he's a fighter and I know we'll be together soon!

ArkansasTechMommy - Friday, 30 May
I remember when I was pregnant with my first, I was SOOOO tired too. I remember being ready for that to be over with. hopefully it will pass soon. Thanks for the comment about my profile picture. That is my son Gavin. He is 18 months.

wilsonwilson - Friday, 30 May
I was in shock totally as i had so convinced myself i was having a girl, so glad i found out now lol. I have no idea on baby names at all. I am so happy that you are having a girl really I am, I am frightened of having a boy as I am not sure what I am doing and I have never clothed shop for boy in my life so there is some changes to be made lol. Glad you are well and keep me posted x

wilsonwilson - Friday, 30 May
I had my scan today

everything is perfect, we found out we are having a BOY! I was in shock as I convinced myself we were having a girl and it is all new to me, I am sure the shock has passed and am so looking forward to finding a name.

How are you doing?

soon2be momma d - Friday, 30 May
Hi! You left a comment on my erotic dream poll and I wanted to thank you! Also, I read your page and want to tell you what an inspiration you are. The fact that you are so blunt about your disorder and 'issues' and yet you still chose to have your baby is wonderful! I can't begin to imagine what it is like to be bipolar, my roommate in college was and it was tough living with her - but she was a great and fun girl. I would love to keep in touch and hear how your pregnancy and life is going. I think you might be a kindred spirit - I loved all your rescued pets. My husband and I rescue dogs and they are our first children, now we call them our fur babies. ;) Best wishes to you!

BabyMomma1008 - Friday, 30 May
Big Daddy is doing much better. He checked himself out AMA, but he's a stubborn man so I wasn't surprised. Unfortunately they have no clue what happened. He has to see a specialist...ugh. These women have given me more strength than I ever thought a group of 'strangers' could give me!! I love my ladies!!

ArkansasTechMommy - Friday, 30 May
Hey! No problem! I'm hoping I show sooner than I did in my last pregnancy! Baby bumps are so cute!!! So...only 1! Is it your first? My pregnancy is going good so far. I've just been VERY VERY tired, and HUNGRY! Morning Sickness hasn't hit yet, but of course I'm only 4 weeks! Maybe it'll skip over me this time! LOL! I'm going to to the doctor monday to "confirm" my pregnancy with a blood test!

armymom - Thursday, 29 May
out of ur name choices.. i like Bella best.

judi - Thursday, 29 May
"Cadence" is just beautiful!! You could even abbreviate it if you want, to Cady or Cay, and it's still really pretty!

brie - Thursday, 29 May
Piper is so cute!!!

ll bree ll - Thursday, 29 May
im bigger than everyone in my weeks, so i have to stay positive about it lol. everyone carries differently remember :]

judi - Thursday, 29 May
Sounds like Memorial Day is parallel to our Aanzac Day, and we also have Rememberance Day, in November.

Could be dehydration making me dizzy - that seems to cause a range of problems, when we're pregnant! But hasn't happened again. I'm being a little careful not to wait until I'm really hungry before eating, too. My blood pressure is normally bordering on low, whether I'm pregnant or not, so I hope it hasn't gone up. Maybe should see the doctor, but I'm not scheduled to see him again until the 12th June. My feet are okay, so far (touch wood). I do try to put them up as much as possible.

Kids are getting excited about the baby - especially the girls (10 and 13 years old) and little Tycho. But to a four year-old, a few months is a REALLY long time. I think he doesn't completely understand. Anything that's more than a few days or a week away, is just hard to get his brain around!

We've basically settled on the name Penny, but still having a hard time coming up with one or two middle names to go with it. I think her second name should be one syllable, like Rose or Jane (but not Jane, because that rhymes with Lane, our last name).

So how's your day been? Or has it just started - weird, the time difference. I'm just waiting for the kids to get home from school.

ll bree ll - Thursday, 29 May

i think you look average here for eighteen weeks. no worries

BabyGonzales - Thursday, 29 May
Have you told them about all the symptoms you're having? My top number is whats high. It was 144 the last time I went so she had me do all these blood tests. Today it was 138 so I guess its still high but not that bad. How high was yours?

BabyGonzales - Thursday, 29 May
Thanks! Things are okay I guess. Except that I have high blood pressure and they put me on some meds. Now Im booked with appts probably for the rest of the pregnancy.

brie - Thursday, 29 May
Sorry I haven't replied sooner I was away for the long weekend. That is such fantastic news!!! A little girl how exciting! Have you already bought a ton of little pink outfits? All the little girls clothes are so ridiculously cute i think i would buy them all :) How have you been feeling?

judi - Monday, 26 May
Umm... Memorial Day?? Is that an American thing? Hey, don't hold your breath for bf to step up and provide for the little one. Some guys are good about that, but don't count on it. I was devastated with the birth of our first at how my husband didn't do anything, and expected pretty much the same as always from me. I had to do all diaper changes and dealing with nighttime crying - and daytime crying, for that matter. It was the same with baby #2, baby #3, baby #4, baby#5,... I've stopped hoping/expecting him to do anything to help. I remember when Tycho was tiny, and we'd finished dinner, but he was fussing, so I wanted Patrick to hold him while I took a shower. He said "when I've finished in the kitchen" and he not only washed all the dishes, wiped down the counters, he swept the floor and washed the cat-food bowls in the hopes I'd give up or baby would settle before he had to just hold him for 5 minutes! But he loves them as they get older, and we've worked out a system of what he does and what I do, and "look after the baby" is part of my job description! Don't be too disappointed if you man is the same. Long as he allows you to rest when you need to and Baby lets you. Hope your moods have been better lately. God knows, we're all going through such mood swings, nowadays. I've also been getting dizzy. Hope I'm not anemic. But otherwise all good. :)

livinjoy - Sunday, 25 May
How've you been?
Dawn

jenadamandbaby - Saturday, 24 May
Thank you for your wedding wishes! We had a wonderful time! It all went so fast! My pregnancy is much better now that i'm out of the first trimester...seventeen weeks on monday and i just don't believe it! how is everything going for you? I hope better. did you find out what you are having? take care and hang in there!

judi - Saturday, 24 May
Yay!! Congratulations!! How do you feel??

brie - Saturday, 24 May
So today was the big day, did you find out?????