niknak's profile

niknak
	Age: 33 Country: US Province/region: Washington City: Seattle Partner: Tyler Children: Pregnant: Yes Due date: 08 Oct ,2008 Occupation: LIVING
	Online: 58 days ago. Last updated: 181 days ago. Member since: 238 days
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WELCOME TO NIKNAK'S PAGE!!

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago. While trying to get my medications just right for me, I began using drugs and a lot of alcohol...self medicating. Well, I've been clean and sober since December of 2007, thanks to drug and alcohol treatment, Alcoholics Annonymous, and Al-Anon. Not to mention the close support I've gotten from people I've met in my programs. My pregnancy has been one of the worst experiences of my life. I do not care about hearing my baby's heart beat or seeing an ultrasound. I am able to take a few of my bipolar meds, but not enough to really help. I see my psychiatrist once a week and run the risk of having post partum psychosis. I have a lot of anger and rage that I control by isolating myself. My emotions have put a huge strain on mine and my boyfriend's relationship. I try my best to not look pregnant so people don't ask me my due date, or even worse, touch my belly. I love kids and babies and I have always dreamed of being pregnant and being a mom, but dealing with bipolar along with that is overwhelming. I am a spiritual person and pray that God will help me. I'm still alive so he's doing something. I don't know what the hell stickydust is, but if anyone could fax me some, that would be great. I'm not looking for pitty, but if anyone can relate to any of my mess of a life, don't be afraid to leave a comment. Or even just to tell me I just depressed the hell out of you! Good luck to all! Thanks for reading.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

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caseylynn2 - Friday, 25 April
PS, I think it is great that you have come to this website, you will find that it is very informative and there is a great support system for days you just want to scream! On another note, there are MANY different personalities. You are you and dont worry if your page looks "boring" or if other women seem to love their unborn child more than you (one of my fears at first) everyone is different. This site can be very very helpful and just know that thousands of women are here to support you even if many others do not. Good luck with everything!

caseylynn2 - Friday, 25 April
Hi I read your post. I am not bipolar, but when I found out I was pregnant, I did not connect with the baby, I didnt want to tell everyone I was pregnant, I was almost wishing for a miscarriage at one point! But with time I became more attached to my baby and no matter what anyone said to me all it took was time. I have a pregnancy journal and you can tell I finally started writing in it at around 18-20 weeks when I finally became involved and excited to be pregnant. Everyone is different and it will take time. As long as you have someone to talk to about it, you will realize you arent alone!

almightyadam - Friday, 25 April
First off, I'm a guy, my fiancee is pregnant. I suffer from depression and ptsd. Most shrinks say i'm bipolar, but i beg to differ. Anyway, i think the best thing to do is just write off the past and start over. What's the worst that can happen out of all of it? This is a very special time in your life and you can make the best of it. I used to honestly hate the world, but each week that i get closer to meeting the bump in her belly makes me happier. Best wishes.

itskristen - Friday, 25 April
lol. I was in Monterey, CA a few months after meeting my husband we we happened upon a petting zoo. I picked up a chicken and he snapped the photo. I'm happy to hear you've got some resources and you're doctor is in the loop. I would just give yourself some time and know that while your hormones are wreaking havoc on your feelings, the teeny person inside of you is going to be absolutely fabulous!

hotpotaaaaato - Thursday, 24 April
I'm on my second pregnancy, but with my daughter I was feeling the same way as you. In fact I also called her a parasite for such a long time. Toward the end of pregnancy I felt like I was getting soo excited and ready, but when she came out I honestly hated her for about 2-3 weeks. I had gotten the Baby Blues VERY BAD. I resented her, couldn't be alone with her, cried all the time. Now she is the love of my life and I am looking forward to having another. I never talked to my doc about it, but probably should have. Just make sure you have a support system around you, and I would talk to the doc like everyone suggests. Hope everything gets better for ya!

wilsonwilson - Thursday, 24 April
Thank you for your understanding with the road rage and sorry to hear you are not as warm to baby as others feel but you are not on your own, promise me that if it continues when baby starts to move you will see your doctor as I had what you have when I was pregnant with my first and it is not uncommen at all. I hope you are well beside that feeling, best wishes and mail me anytime x

itskristen - Thursday, 24 April
I'm so sorry to hear about how you're feeling. Just hang in there; you'll feel better. I would definitely talk to your doctor about it. Sometimes being on medication is better for you and the baby than being without it, especially now that you're in the 2nd trimester. I felt similar to how you do when I was going through a very stressful time a few weeks ago. Being pregnant is stressful on its own. Do you have a support system in place (good friends, etc that can lend a hand when you need it?)

gr8scottswife - Thursday, 24 April
You will need to make sure you are taking your prenatal vitamins consistently. Red Raspberry from Nature's Sunshine may also help with your emotions. Drink lots of water.