oldie44's profile

oldie44
oldie44 has 48 days to go and is now in week 33
	Age: 44 Country: Private Province/region: Private City: Private Partner: husband of 25 years Children: Pregnant: Yes Due date: 07 Jul ,2008 Occupation: RN
	Online: 17 hours ago. Last updated: 88 days ago. Member since: 147 days
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My name is Irena. I am 44 and have 3 childen, 23, 18, and 5.5. I am going to celebrate 25 years anniversary on Feb. 19. I can't believe it is going to be a quarter of century soon! My last baby girl was born on April, 10, 2002, 3 days before my husband's birthday. The baby I am carrying right now will be born (I am afraid to think so far in the future, afraid to jinx it) is due July 6, a week before my 45th burthday. This pregnancy was a surprise for for both my husband and for me. Actually, it will be a surprise for my husband when I tell him, right now he is still in a happy bliss of not knowing. I try to spare his feeling as long as I can, because I am very, very sure he will not be happy and it is a very mild way to put it.

I think there is something spiritual in my conceiving this child. We have not been using birth control for over a year now, somehow I was sure I could not concieve any longer. My mother told me she had early menopause and since my periods decreased to 1.5 days, I thought I was immune too. But something happened - first, very very sad: my co-worker, a briliant, vibrant, always happy and charming girl 36 years old died suddenly while working out in her GYM. She had an artificial heart valve that was due to be replaced, but she was putting it off. She left so many things and projects unfinished (she was a clinical nurse specialist, very involved in many projects in my hospital). She also left 2 small children and a devastated husband. Her wake and funeral was on Oct. 5th; after which I came home and I told my husband that we have to have sex every day, while we are still young, healthy, and alive, because nobody knows what happend to us tomorrow. Well, we did not last more than 2-3 times of every day, but I missed my next period. When I discovered my positive pregnancy test, I suddenly heard her name like somebody said it in my mind. I am not very religious person, but in this case I felt something misterious. The door of this lady's office is still the way she left it, with all the paers for her to sign and a big paper rapping the door has all the wishes and thoughts that people felt and wanted her to hear after her death.

So, if this baby will be born, I decided to name it in her honor, and, even though I am worry every day and every second about this baby's health and life, I feel that if She and G-d wanted it to happen, they will lead us to a happy end.

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mama40 - Sunday, 24 Feb
Your husband seems to be a really exceptional man. I wish mine turned out to be this way, but I have little hope. At present, I am the one who get up every morning at 6 am to walk our very spoiled dog (he usually comes to our bed and jumps on me until I get up). But maybe with a baby it will be different:) We bought a stroller yesterday. It was just so perfect, we couldn't resist. And it was the last in the store, so they gave us 20% off. It is one of those three weels jogger type strollers. What is good, it is not as big as other such strollers, it can accomodate fully reclined baby, so can be used from the biginning and until toddler ages. You can put carseat in it too. Pleasant gray color, not too much excessive details. And very easy to move and fold. And I bought front carrier (kangaroo as we called it in RUssia). I had one of those with my twins and it was a life saver. We looked up cribs and were terrifyed at the prices - some were up tp 1200! Ceertainly we will look for cheaper option. I don't know if I will get any other U/s. Maybe some close to my due date.

maha55 - Sunday, 24 Feb
yes thanks...I try not to get too caught up in our ageist world!!! esp when it comes to pregnancy (even a little voice in my head was doubting bec of age) although I know I am healthy..chk out my website www.bellydanceforbirth.com ..my hard copy book comes out in June and I will be making a bellydanceforbirth DVD whilst I am pregnant..something I have been wanting to do for years!! ..inspire all women everywhere..all is perfect whatever happens..as I say 'allow the mystery to unfold!!' and absolutely doesnt amtter where u give birth, long as u feel safe and speak up for you and yr bubba!! x

buninoven - Sunday, 24 Feb
Hi! Twins don't really run in my family either from what the dr said it follows the maternal side but my grandfather on my moms side was a twin but the dr said that didn't matter. Its hard to figure out so I think it is the over 35 risk of twins that got me here. Its exciting and scary, I don't have any kids so I don't know what I am in for, if I should be scared.:) I am sure it will be more fun once we get past the first few months. Thanks again for all your help and good luck to you with your little one!!

maha55 - Saturday, 23 Feb
Hi Oldie!!
Just wanted to say hi and join you in the rankds of oldies but goodies!!! I am 7 weeks pregnant NATURALLY with baby no. 3 (my boys are 8 and 11) and I am 45 and 5 mths of age..46 when this one born...I am going to have a HOME BIRTH, WATER BIRTH, LOTUS BIRTH as I did with my second son...I dont get too concerned with medical profession..stay healthy, mind, body, spirit....I also teach belly dance for pregnancy and birth (last 10 years plus) and know that the body, if it got pregnant can get bubba out with ease!!..stay positive..SENDING YOU LOVE...ALL BEST MAHAX

buninoven - Saturday, 23 Feb
Cool! Thank you so much! I rescheduled for 18 weeks to be safe. They said they can see things a little more clearly at 18wks too. Thank you for the GREAT advice, I super appreciate it! I hope all is well you!! Thanks again, take care!!

mama40 - Friday, 22 Feb
I think your husband took a right position in this situation. And he is right, many men believe that ability to conceive, especially to conceive a boy speaks in favor of a man's virility, so he should go higher in the eyes of his male friends. I always believed that it is wise to compliment a man on his masculinity and sexuality:) Makes them happy. And happier husband becomes a better father to the incoming baby. I now try to keep my husabnd in a happy mood, so he wouldn't think that his life will change to the worst when the baby comes. But I of course know that he will have to make many adjustments in his lifestyle that he doesn't know about yet. He never had a child, so it is all new to him. Your hubby is at least experienced in this matter, so there should be no surprises for him.

buninoven - Friday, 22 Feb
You are so sweet!! Thank you so much for the info. I thought that didn't sound right. I am one of those people that if I can know 100% and plan for it what ever happens I will feel tons better. I have my appt for 15 weeks do you think that is too soon? My uncle is a high risk ob and he is reccommending someone who does it often. I could schedule it later if you think that is too soon. Thanks again!!!

buninoven - Thursday, 21 Feb
Hi! Help, I read on the 9 week page tonight that in an amnio they draw fluid out on 3 seperate appointments, is that true. Don't they just poke you once draw fluid during an ultrasound and then you are done with that? Thanks for the info!! Congrats on your happy results I go in for mine in April!!

mama40 - Wednesday, 20 Feb
HAPPY ANIVERSARY! 25 years together - it is just amazing. Hope your new baby will bring you and your husband even closer together. Never mind what other relatives would say. It is you who are blessed with a miracle.

mama40 - Tuesday, 19 Feb
Today, it was President's day sales everywhere and nice sunny weather and I worked only half-day, so my kids and I went to the shops and I finally bought some pieces of clothing for the baby - 2 newborn's nightgowns. some overalls with mittens on the ends, and a cute hat. All with some kind of animal motives. We are still not buying big stuff, but I decided to start buying small things little by littel. Figured that at 8 months I may be tired and not enjoying shopping at all. How are you doing?

angelbabies14 - Monday, 18 Feb
thanks for your comment I did mention to the Dr but at the time it was new and they said swelling is common in pregnancy just like all my other strange issues blacking out, severe heart palpitations, etc... I go for ultrasound tomorrow and I'm going to mention to the Dr office my consent swollen foot I also have another Dr appt on the 28th so hopefully they will do something about it.

marbear - Monday, 18 Feb
I have the same problem with my page. I am 20 weeks but it still says 19 on my page. Let me know if you find a fix for this. I see that you are a nurse as well. How are you doing with your shifts. I work nights, 12hrs shifts and it is beccaming more and more difficult. Well, take care....

jacsbaby - Sunday, 17 Feb
Sorry I havent got back sooner but I have been a bit poorly, I got real high temp and had to be admitted to hosp as they were concerned it was an infection in the womb due to the amnio so i am now on antiobiotics and home resting again I think it was just a bad cold and ear infection and so does my doc but it is good they were playing safe, the antibiotics are making me a bit sick but on the whole I am feeling a bit better today. Have you had your results yet?(Good Luck)
When I was having my amnio done they only looked at the brain and the spine for dating measurements and told us to keep our booking for our scheduled 20 week scan which is on the 19th so now we can look forward to seeing our baby without the anxiety that the amnio had. This will be the last time we see our baby before it is born so i will have to savour every second as we just get 2 scans here unless you have a problem also they do not tell the sex of baby, but if we want to know we can find out from the hosp we got the amnio done at as they keep it in our notes there and they will be ready with the rest of the results in 2 weeks but we still havent decided if we want to know, we havent bought anything and wont until much nearer the time.

mama40 - Sunday, 17 Feb
I am also not buying things yet. I think I'll start close to June. maybe April or May. I can see that some people already bought a lot, but I just can't. Russian superstition probably. The name is still a problem. You picked a good one - Anthony, and we are still stuck. I liked Nikolai (or Nicholas), but my husband doesn't seem thrilled with it. He wants Michael (Misha), but it is the 2nd most popular name in the US, and his best friend'son in Russia is Misha, my best friend's son in Russia is Misha and younger brother of my daughter's Russian friend is Misha. Before getting married, I had bf named Misha at some point. Well, and my ObGyn is Michael. This is just crazy. It should be simple name since my husband has short and simple last name. And the one that easily converts between English-Russian. And not Alexander or Alexey, since we have Alexandra (Alex)already.
With food, I usually gives my readers this advice. Don't try to stay away from food you crave. Because this would be a battle between the reasonable you and the subconcious you, in which the latest one usually has the most power. Instead, see what your favorite food lacks (for example, french fries are rich in fats and carbs, but low in protein, fibers, many essential vitamins.) And make an effort to add into your ration food that contains missing components (proteinous food, veggie, fruits, whole grains). It is much easier to trick your sistem into adding, than into substracting, since we are shielded against starving, not overeating. This way, even if you wil overeat and gain some weight, it will be healthier kind of weight. You'll feel more energy and your baby will grow having all nurtients he needs. Good luck.

deerwendy - Saturday, 16 Feb
I am the exact same way with my older daughter. I am not a touchy feely person and when my oldest daughter was born all she did way cry and cray. I had postpartaum depression with her and the psychlogist felt I should be in the hospital for it, but I told them no since I had no one to watch my baby. So I suffured on my own with my screaming kid. I think that is why I wasn't as loving as I could have been with her. With my second daughter, I wanted a baby so bad and had a miscarriage before her, that I couldn't stop hugging her and kissing her. It was true love! Now it is a little different since I don't do that as much with either. But I agree with you that it probably can be contributed to being an older mom. I wonder how I will be with this little one.
I was just reading some other ladies' page who lost their babies in the second trimester. Here I go again scaring myself again.

deerwendy - Saturday, 16 Feb
Congrats on your results! The waiting is he scariest thing! The mind keeps us in suspense all the time. Like you said about buying things for the baby in fear of jinxing it; I am the same way. I am so afraid to buy anything or somethimes even look at things because I am so afraid. I have no idea how I made it through two other pregnancies. I continuously worry, but I also appreciate the miracle of life a million times more this pregnancy too. Maybe it is an age thing. With my first daughter (I was 22) I felt like she was an alien and it was kind of gross to share my body with someone else, then my second daughter (I was 29)I felt closer to her but not the extent where I looked everyday to see what she learning or how she was growing, it was more like 'I am pregnant and we are having a baby' - it was a given. This time (I am 36) I know what can go wrong, I know it is not a given, and I know that each day it is a precious miracle to be able to have a child let alone carry one full term. Everyday I look and see how many more days we have until we meet our new baby, everyday I learn what he/she is doing/everyday I wait to feel a kick/everyday is a new day to appreciate this gift. Sometimes I wish I could tell they moms who take their pregnancy for granted how lucky they are to even be a mom. I think it is just a maturity thing I guess.

Thanks for posting your thoughts. I am glad it is not just me feeling this way!!

mama40 - Saturday, 16 Feb
Hi, congratulations on good results. My doctor also said me that if genetics is ok, then it is highly unlikely to see any problems on u/sound. As I posted on AMAs forum, my u/s went great. Everything looks normal and measures right. So now I can just enjoy pregnancy. They looked at the facial features (high hair line, normal distance between eyes etc), heart with all major vessels, brain, skeleton (they measured skull and bones in legs and arms, looked at the spine), no cleft palate either, also they checked kidneys, placenta, umbilical cord and uterus and pelvic area. They estimated baby weight at delivery (about 3,5 kilos or more) and said that premature birth is unlikely. So I am preparing myself for a hard work - my twins were about 2,700 each (one smaller). Hope you will be equally pleased with your 2nd level u/s results. We, older moms rock!

mplsmama - Saturday, 16 Feb
Congrats on your good news w/ the amnio results! I had a level 2 done a few wks ago & let me tell you, it was sooo reassuring! It's a very detailed u/s & I have a feeling you will get nothing but great news, especially since your amnio came back looking good. Best of luck!

expecting1st - Friday, 15 Feb
well he told me that he is safe while he is inside but when he is born the hole will either close or need surgery

mama40 - Friday, 15 Feb
Hi, I also had those two days busy and kind of tired (still wonder how you are able to work 12 hours shift - 8 hours is more than enough for me to be drained). I will write you about tomorrow u/s.Hope it will go well.

jacsbaby - Thursday, 14 Feb
Thanks for your response i had the amnio done on Monday and amazingly the rapid test results were back on tuesday afternoon so we now know our baby does not have downs or two of the other more common syndroms we will have the results of the full test in 2 weeks but they didnt even bother going into details about this as they say it is so rare to have any serious problems that if it happens they will discuss it then.

mickeypants - Tuesday, 12 Feb
thank you for that. Its nice to hear the opposite of the norm for once!

mama40 - Saturday, 9 Feb
I was a journalist in Russia. More like science writer. My articles are still quite well-known in a narrow world of people deeply interested in cosmetics and skin care:) Still publish sometimes in Nauka i Zhizn. But here it is different. I was picked up by Israeli skin care company which is run by former Russians. They pay me for writing in Russian and English all kind of stuff - advertizement, PR articles, seminars etc. I also advise them on current trends in skin care. But it is not the same as in Russia. Back there, I was independent, well paid, socially active... Oh, well, and single:) Traveled abroad often. here I mostly depend on my husband and live very secluded life. For a bit of fun and some extra money, I work part time in a boarding kennel. Pay is ridiculously low, but I enjoy spending time with dogs. I have medical education so I have been thinking about becoming a nurse, but I know it is very hard job.
Tai chi is not sweaty, you are right. But it gives you the feeling of going somewhere. Not just doing repetitive boring excercise. Accumulating chi, improving mind and body connection and all that stuff. For sweat, my husband is doing korean martial art - tang soo do. He is about to get black belt now. They train three times a week and really intensive. But this is too agressive for me:)

mama40 - Saturday, 9 Feb
You see, you also criticized your mom when you were young. And so did I. And many other ladies. But you know better now, and I really admire my mom. I think she was increadibly strong woman, who did a good job of crawling out from the hole and rising me practically alone and giving me great education and safe house. Your daughter will see you differently too. It is just all those images of 'suburban soccer mom' imprinted in the minds by Holliwood. She will understand. In my opinion, you are amazing - 44 years, 3 kids (and one already has good education), two jobs, and 4th baby on the way and you still manage to function. It is incredible:)

socalgal - Friday, 8 Feb
SOrry to hear about your 23 yr old. I cannot even imagine what you are going through--that sounds so awful! I don't think I could put up with it, but obviously she is your daughter and you love her. But I do think I would establish some boundaries with her (she should love that word if she into psych). She is not maintaining appropriate boundaries, because she is acting like she is your parent and not vice versa. Her judgmental attitude is obviously due to immaturity and lack of experience. I think we all went through that stage before we grew up and realized just how difficult it was for our moms and saw for ourselves how challenging parenting can be. Nevertheless, I think it would be more than appropriate to tell her you are the parent, and that while she is living in your home, you are supporting her so you expect, at a minimum, that she support you as well by respecting your decisions and not undermining you. You should make it clear that you will not tolerate her undermining and criticizing you in your own home.

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