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Well, we are safely into the third trimester now, expecting our baby girl (Claire) to be born somewhere between mid Sept and early October. I'm unofficially put on "reduced activity" for a little while as I was having contractions a bit too often. So far everything seems ok, but I'm needing to stay relaxed, easier said than done with a 19 month old toddler and working full time...but I'm doing the best I can. I've made good headway on our nursery, but don't actually plan to finish it up until right at the last minute as this means my husband is losing his office. His computer desk and all that goes with it will be moving into our bedroom and we both decided to do it as late as possible. Thankfully we have a gigantic bedroom with more than enough room. So far we have the bookshelves all ready with her stuff and the crib set up with an adorable bed skirt made by my mom as well as the window valance. The theme is black and white with penguins and a little dark purple and bright pink for accent colors. I finally found a dresser for her that will double as a changing table. I needed a black one and couldn't find one that was actually real wood and black within the right dimensions. So we finally went to the unfinished furniture store and found the perfect solution...and they can stain it black. It's a great dresser and will last her for years to come. My son picked out the hardware for the knobs too which was cute. All that is left is to go through 4 small random boxes of stuff and empty out the closet. She already has a huge wardrobe of clothes hanging in the closet and plenty of bedding!

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Interesting Link for gender determination at the nuchal translucency test between 11 and 13 weeks
http://ob-ultrasound.net/genderfaq.html

(we were told at 12 weeks we were having a girl...and we are in fact having a girl)

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January 26th

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm crazy to have just booked a cross country flight to Boston when I'll be 5 months pregnant with a 17 month old toddler as a lap child! Good thing Grandma is coming to help babysit at the conference...perhaps she'll have a little more lap room!

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January 25th

We are pregnant! I finally took the test after being 4 days late and having more than a few signs that I was pregnant. The clincher was walking in the grocery store tonight and almost throwing up when we wandered a tad too close to the seafood section...my nose always gets super powers when I'm pregnant...which can be good...and very very bad! I was hesitant to take the test at night since hcg tends to be lower in the evenings...but I just couldn't help it! Despite the sore boobs and annoying nose...I'm happy as can be. I know I should be worried I'll M/C again...but I'm trying to think positively and think only the best of thoughts. I will however not start planning the nursery so early as that about broke my heart the last time. It will remain in it's bare bones stages until we are safely into the second trimester.

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January 23rd

I'm officially 2 days late now...and may be pregnant again. I'm terrified after our loss on Halloween...and am struggling to completely let it go and delete my pregnancy ticker that is just below this message. I'm debating if I should take a pregnancy test, or just wait until my doctors appointment on Thursday. I've already got my hopes up that I'm pregnant, but at the same time terrified that either I'm not pregnant or that I'm going to lose another baby. I should have been finding out this week if we were having a boy or girl...now I'm just waiting to find out if we have a chance again for either one. All I want is for Brenden to know what it's like to have a little brother or sister.

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my little angel baby...I miss you

Make a pregnancy ticker

Nov 3rd, 2008

We did have a miscarriage on Saturday unfortunately. I went in for an ultrasound today to learn that the baby was in fact gone. It appears that maybe this time I had a complete miscarriage and won't require a D & C. Last time, the D & C wasn't complete and I wound up with an infection that led to further surgery and pain prolonging everything for about 5 months before it was all settled again. I'm terrified that maybe that could still happen, but think I have better doctors this time around. We are hoping to start trying again in January.

Nov 1st, 2008

Last night I started bleeding...I had hoped it was just implantation bleeding, but it's continued today and is getting worse and worse, as are the cramps. My doctor told me over the phone to just rest up and try not to worry, but that I might be having a miscarriage or it could be implantation bleeding. I've had a miscarriage before, but it was totally different, yet horrifying all the same and took me months to heal and 2 follow up surgeries, not to mention the emotional pain. I'm just sick with grief since I think I knew all along something wasn't right with this pregnancy. You don't realize how much you have already grown to love this little life until it starts slipping away from you. My husband is being super sweet and trying to understand the best he can which I appreciate.

Oct 21st, 2008

So this is our second pregnancy and we are very excited, yet terrified at the same time. Our son Brenden will be almost exactly 18 months old by the time this little one arrives. When I was pregnant with him I was super excited and wanted the pregnancy to go fast so I could meet him. Now I'm hoping it goes slowly because that gives me more 1:1 time with Brenden. I also know this is the last time I will be pregnant, so I want to take more time to appreciate everything. I know once we have 2 young children that my life will be changed forever and will be super busy. I'm still planning to maintain my full time status at my job. I have a very unique job working with children and families with serious medical conditions and I just can't find it in my heart to leave them. My boss is very flexible and allows me to work from home 25 of my 40 hours a week, so as long as I can continue that, I will stay with my job. There are days where I get very overwhelmed trying to be a full time mom and full time professional, but I've managed to strike a good balance. I just hope I can keep it up. I know that once our kids are older and in pre-school my job will once again be very manageable, and it's the children I have a hard time walking away from. They make me appreciate my healthy happy little boy even more every day. So here's to a crazy and busy future!