The timeline so far:

Oct. 2007- After childhood cancer and decades of infertility, the OB/GYN sends me to a genetic counseling session that doesn`t end up accomplishing much. Everyone agrees that I`m probably infertile for good, and judging from my history that might not be a bad thing (except for me, I guess).

Dec. 2007- I begin to think that I`ve finally given myself an ulcer from years of popping Excedrin for arthritic pain. My stomach feels as if it`s filled with 5 lbs of wet aquarium gravel. Other days, it feels like a backed-up garbage disposal. I`m not nauseated, but the constant pain makes me miserable all the time.

Early Jan. 2008- Wandering the house, in pain and desperate, my eyes land on an unused pregnancy test from more hopeful days. Well, I think, at least I can rule this out...these are always negative.

Later that Morning- It`s positive, and two name-brand tests hastily bought are also positive.

The Next Day- I present the three positive tests to my endocrinologist, who orders the bloodwork and says he`ll call me back.

The Day After That- I`ve just left an embarrassing appointment with my oncologist, where I was overwhelmed with what I was sure would be thwarted hope and bawled my eyes out. He is understanding, although I made his resident nervous. My endocrinologist calls my cellphone and tells me I`m definitely pregnant. I`m still sure I have cancer and it`s just pumping out hormones, and that this will all end badly.

Mid-January 2008: We go to the first OB visit and are taken directly to ultrasound. Not only am I 6 and a half weeks pregnant, but they`re twins! I rejoice, then come home and sleep. It's all I do nowadays.

8 weeks- The OB can`t see individual amniotic sacs and worries they might be mo-mos. Because of that, and because of my generally complex medical history, I`m sent on to the perinatals.

8.5 weeks- The perinatals give me another ultrasound and figure out they`re not monoamniotic, but they `re definitely monochorionic. Great, now it`s TTTS we get to worry about :(

9 weeks- My abdomen is huge and none of my regular clothes, which were already generously-proportioned, fit. I`m pretty much exclusively in maternity clothes. I could hug whoever designed the jeans with the panel. Morning sickness has set in a couple of times and I break my record no-barfing streak.

9 weeks 5 days- Some previous hormone problems are threatening the pregnancy. The medicine that will save me and the babies is tetratogenic in large doses. I`d be on a small dose. Would I risk a small chance of cleft palate to save my babies? Absolutely. Now we`re waiting to see if that `s what I need to do.

10 weeks: I find out from my endocrinologist that I have a minor case of Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. He's discussed it with several of the doctors at the perinatal clinic, and they think that my case might be too slight to affect the fetuses. They've made the decision not to re-start the tetratogenic drug; we're going to try proceeding without, and watch my blood. I'm concerned about any effects to the babies, of course, but I trust their decision.
One of my (many) medical problems is a lingual thyroid, and I'm tasting a lot of thyroid hormone this week. I'm hoping I can manufacture what the babies need without it swelling and threatening the airway. This is going to be a fun pregnancy, isn't it? ;)

10 weeks 5 days: I'm supposed to see my regular OB through the end of the first trimester and move on to the perinatal clinic the first week of March. I have an appointment in the morning with the regular OB for prenatal bloodwork. When I come home, I'm helping my mother clean a closet, and the entire closet collapses on me. I take most of the hit on my chest, but it's easily hundreds of pounds and I'm afraid for the twins. We go to the local ER to get checked out. The doctor glances at my chest and says I need an ice pack and tylenol; he won't do an OB eval because I have an OB to do that. He tells me to call them and follow up. I call the OB from my hospital bed, and she says she won't see me because I'm no longer her patient. I call the Perinatal clinic, and they say they won't see me because I'm not yet their patient. Worried and frustrated, I'm left crying in the hospital bed. The first OB was supposed to see me through the end of next week; that's what we agreed upon! And I just saw her this morning! I was planning on going back to her after delivering, but now I'm so disappointed in her that I don't think I want to. The ER won't do anything OB unless I'm actively having a miscarriage. I'm stuck not being able to check on the babies for two weeks. It's all been a very bad experience.

11 weeks 6 days: I've had a bad week. Two emergencies have come up for which the input of an OB would have been helpful, but no one would see me or answer my questions. First, I broke my front tooth and had to have emergency dental work. It'd be nice to know what was and wasn't safe to do, but they ended up just using plain lidocaine, which wore right off, which meant I had about 45 mins of straight drilling without ANY anesthesia, which was horrible. Then I got windshield wiper fluid squirted in my left eye, and had to have emergency treatment with two drugs that aren't encouraged during pregnancy. One of them goes down the back of my throat and makes me gag and vomit. Stony silence from both OBs, of course, and I'm really frustrated. I'm trying to get through the rest of the week without incident until I become an "official" patient of my perinatologist on Tuesday. In addition to all of this, I'm getting a pulsing, stabbing sort of pain in my LLQ and I don't know what it is. No bleeding, so I'm going to try to get through it and hope for the best. I'm afraid I'm becoming a little bitter toward my doctors.

12 weeks 5 days: Well, I'm finally a PATIENT of the perinatal clinic. The nuchal fold scan turned out well...the doctor said the chance of Down's, a heart problem, or any of the other defects is extremely low...so low they decided not to do the followup bloodwork. It was a real ordeal, though, because the babies wouldn't hold still and I was there for THREE AND A HALF HOURS. The tech called them "wild babies"...they were punching and kicking each other, punching and kicking me, one was shoving its butt in the other's face, and they were constantly twisting, turning and rolling. The tech kept jabbing me in the stomach to get them to turn or move, and my abdomen is all bruised-up. I had to take five bathroom breaks because they were pressing so hard! I was exhausted when I got out of there, and stumbled right into bed.

Another surprising development: the perinatal specialist believes that a c-section might be too dangerous for me. He said that, given my circumstances, it might be better to let my body do the work of labor, but "without pushing" (I guess he just reaches in and grabs them?). Both babies are currently transverse, one on top of the other, so we have to see what their final position would be...we might have no other choice but a c-section. Sort of scary to think about, because I've always been told a c-section is the only safe option for me. The doctor said that many doctors tell patients that because c-sections were easy to do. So I don't know. I'm still really tired.

On top of it all, I have some sort of respiratory infection and I'm miserable.

15 weeks 3 days: Well, at least the respiratory infection is gone; the general practitioner said my lungs were good and clear. My heart rate's way up, though, and I've dropped another 5 lbs. That's why I don't look any bigger than I did at 12 weeks- I'm dropping weight elsewhere. I tried to explain that food is just not appealing at all, and even when I AM hungry, the heartburn is immediate and severe despite the mylanta I take. She thinks it might be time to put me on a prescription, and I'm supposed to ask the high-risk OB about that the next time I see him. I'm sort of dreading this 16 week appointment...it's always wonderful to see the babies alive and moving around (fighting, usually), but I always think...what if they aren't? We'd start to see TTTS around now, too, so I have a lot of fears about that. I wish that pregnancy was this fantasy time of glowingness and chirping birds and sunshine that it's made out to be!

16 weeks 4 days: Well, the ultrasound tech says they're definitely girls. I know it's not 100%, but she was very confident. Everything looks healthy, no sign of TTTS right now, they weigh exactly 5 oz each and their physiology looks normal. One reached over and patted the other's head during the ultrasound. Fortunately, I don't seem to be tending toward incompetent cervix at the moment, although they're going to keep checking. And the babies are moving like CRAZY. At the start of the ultrasound, one baby was breech and one was head-down. Then they started squirming, and during the course of the exam they went back to their old transverse position. They said the babies are very, very active. Hope it stays that way!