samplus4
	Age: 32 Country: US Province/region: - City: - Partner: Jose Children: Yes, 4 Pregnant: Trying to conceive Due date: 09 0 ,0000 Occupation: Real Estate
	Online: 3 hours ago. Last updated: 3 days ago. Member since: 217 days
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Hi my name is Samara, I'm 32 and this is my fourth pregnancy! Totally unexpected, but that's okay! I am still scared and excited even though it is # 4. My children Denzell 14, Jailen 9, and Jordan 2 1/2. It just so happens that they will all be turning a year older by the time this one arrives. They will be 15(March 3), 10 (May 18), and 3 (March 24). This being added right in the middle for a April 14th due date.

Well I just wanted to introduce myself and my family and I hope all is well with everyone!!

That was then this is now

3/4/08 This is a story of an Angel........

	9167.1
	On March 4, 2008, I gave birth to my son Josiah, he was 34w 1d. It wasn't a common delivery since I found out the day before that he had passed while still inside me. I know that at this point I should be happy and ready to give birth to a strong and healthy newborn, but god had other plans for my baby Josiah. This is so extremley hard to sit and write about this and I know like for me that you are probably in shock! The doctors have yet to give me an explanation and I will not find out any news until I get an autopsy report back which will be in a few weeks.

You know, the morning Josiah passed, I felt something was wrong I think I was in denial. I felt Josiah move about 2:45am and that was the last time. I woke up in the morning and ate with my 3 year old and then went to target. I went an bought more Diapers and things for Josiah, ate lunch and went home. When I got home he still wasn't moving. That's when I called the doctor an d was told to go to L and D. I knew deep down something was wrong but I didn't want to face the truth. I got to the hospital at 4pm and by 4:40, after hearing no heartbeat on the fetal monitor or seeing one on the ultrasound machine the DR looked at me and said "I'm sorry but your baby has passed" Those are words that I hear when I wake up and when I go to sleep at night. My Josiah is truly an Angel now and no matter how many times I ask god "why me" or "why did you take my baby from me" I know I will never have an answer.

I left all the things I bought for Josiah that day on my bed that morning hoping I was going to come home with a healthy baby.

I just want to say to everyone Good Luck with your new bundles of joy and I wish all of you happy healthy babies!! Don't take for granted one minute of this joyous occasion and make sure you are truly intuned with your body and you do all your kick counts. For all I wish is that I still had my baby:(

~Samara

Josiah Pedro Pires

March 4, 2008 @ 9:15pm

5lbs 12.4 ounces,

20 inches

This is a Montage that my incredibly wonderful sister made for me to remember My Angel Josiah
Josiah 3.4.08!

~May 13, 2008~

Hi Ladies,

Once again thank you for all your support and prayers, I haven't been on in awhile and when I came on my page I was really overwhelmed with so many new prayers and supporters, so Thank You!!

It has been a long few months and I finally started feeling a better until the past week. I am now ttc and thought maybe I caught the egg last month, but I didn't so when AF showed her wicked face, I was saddend. There is always this month so keep your fingers crossed for me.

I received the autopsy report from my OB on May 1 and of course she is blaming everything on my Gestational Diabetes. I had her fax a copy of the report and like a nerd, I went online to find a medical dictionary and typed in all the words I didn't understand and she didn't tell me about.

It said the primary cause of death was Cardiomegaly, which means enlarged heart. I keep thinking to myself, when I went for my BPP four days prior to Josiah's passing, how come they didn't see this on the ultrasound? Isn't that what a BPP is for? They also said he had pulmonary hemmoraging and anoxia(interference with oxygen). That was probably why at my BPP he wasn't doing his "Practice Breathing" like he should have been doing. I am so confused with all this because I feel like something could have been done, but at the same time from what I have heard involving Cardiomegaly, Josiah would have had a lot of heart problems and might not have survived. I still think I would have rather known he wouldn't of survived than to have it come without knowing.

I now have an appointment on Friday May 16th with the perintologist to see what I'll have to do when and if I get pregnant again and to go over the autopsy report.

I also just found out last week that my OB was sued for negligence in another birth about 10 years ago! How is that for coincedence(sp?)

I will keep everyone posted after I go for my appt. on Friday. Thanks again for taking the time to read this and for all your Prayers and Support!!

God Bless!!

Samara and "Josiah">

~April 14, 2008

Hey Ladies,

I just wanted to say thank you all for your wonderful support and prayers in my time of need! This board has been like my saving grace. Being able to know that I'm not alone and that I'm not the only person that went through this is what gets me through the day. I have a tremendous amount of respect and gratitude to you all. I keep thinking that if everything went okay I would have Josiah in my arms right now. I was scheduled this past Thursday April 10th for my c-section and today would have been my original due date.

I went to my OB today for my 6 week check up and she still didn't have the final autopsy report in yet. Which means pretty much that they are not going to find anything was wrong, which in return will have me thinking what happened forever. My OB did mention that my placenta looked like the baby wasn't getting enough nutrients, but that she wasn't 100% sure because his weight was normal for his gestation. It's so aggravating playing the waiting game! I will go and see a Maternal/Fetal DR sometime in May to talk about my options as far as conceiving again.

So now I finally got AF and I started some slight charting(watching for ovulation), but my OB said to wait 3 cycles which I'm not sure if I want to wait. I think I am just going to let nature take it's course and if it happens it happens. I will definitley keep you all posted on what happens!!

For everyone who has had a loss, I am terribly sorry and you will get through this, you will never forget, but remember if not just for the little bit of time that you held your angel!

For all of you that are expecting, God bless you and may you have a happy and healthy nine months!!

~Samara and My Angel Josiah

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10/26/2007

Today I'm 14w 6days pregnant, I still have not seen my little one and it's driving me crazy! I've only heard the heartbeat once. My first ultrasound is not until Nov. 27th! I don't want to wait that long! I know this is my fourth baby but damn! I still feel like something could go wrong and I won't know for another month. I also don't have anymore m/s or symptoms so I think that makes it worse. My next OB appt is Nov 7th so I guess will just have to wait till then to hear the heartbeat again. I hate the waiting game!!:)

Just about the time you think you can't handle hearing one more "when is that baby going to pop?", your baby will decide to make it's appearance. We predict your baby will be born 3-7 days before your due date. Your baby will most likely be born in the morning. Justmommies predicts that your baby will weigh approximately 8.7 pounds and that your labor will be about 10 hours long.

Pregnancy Survey
About You
Name?:	Samara
Age?:	32
Height?:	5'2
Pre-pregnancy weight?:	How dare you ask!
About The Father
Name?:	Jose
Age?:	32
Height?:	5'11
Are you still together?:	yep! (sigh)
About Your Pregnancy
Is this your first pregnancy?:	No, my fourth! What???
When did you find out you were pregnant?:	August 10, 2007
Was it planned?:	OOH NO!
What was your first reaction?:	Disbelief
Who was with you when you found out?:	ME!
Who was the first person you told?:	Daughter/Dad
How did your parents react?:	Actually happy!
How far along are you?:	13 weeks
What was your first symptom?:	Funny feeling in my tummy
What is your due date?:	April 19, 2008
Do you know the sex of the baby?:	No. Thinking PINK!
If so, what is it?:	Hopefully a girl
Have you picked out names?:	Not yet
If so, what are they?:
How much weight have you gained?:	3lbs
Do you have stretch marks?:	Yes! From my first Son 9lbs 7 ounces
Have you felt the baby move?:	A little fluttering at times
Have you heard the heartbeat?:	Next week
About the birth
Will you keep the baby?:	Of course, why stop now! lol
Home or hospital birth?:	Hospital
Natural or medicated birth?:	Naturally Medicated!
Who will be in the delivery room with you?:	Jose, Daughter, sister and Docs!
Will you breastfeed?:	Yep!
Do you think you'll need a c-section?:	Hopefully not!
Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?:	Yep!
What's the first thing you might say to him/her?:	FINALLY!
Would you let someone videotape the birth?:	I would
Are you excited about the birth, or scared?:	BOTH!!! Even if it's my 4th!
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