At 35 weeks...

Again, I haven't updated in a while. I'm still feeling a bit down. My husband and I have an appointment this coming Tuesday to see a marriage counselor. I hope this helps. I hope my husband is still willing to go. It was his idea, but I pissed him off since then and I'm not quite sure if he's still willing. We'll see. I cannot control his actions, but I can control my reaction. I had another scare a few weeks ago. I saw blood - bright red - when I wiped and freaked out at 5am. I went in to see the doc at 8am. They checked my cervix (manually) and did a vaginal ultrasound, an abdominal ultrasound, and a NST to check on my wee one. Everything was normal. Doc said that the blood vessels are so thin and so engorged around the cervix that just about anything can irritate them to the point that they burst. I went for my check up last Friday and the OB said that I'm 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. He said he'd like Chase to stay in there another week, but if I go into labor they won't stop it as he is healthy and so am I. Whenever I get stressed I notice my contractions start to get more intense, but still irregular. I wonder every day if this is going to be the day. I don't have another OB appt until May 23rd, but I'm contemplating going in before that just to have the doc check my cervix. We'll see.

At 27 weeks...

Wow, I haven't updated in a while. I had a rough time for a few weeks. I was feeling down. I had a scare a few weeks back. My little one stopped dancing in my belly for a while. I tried drinking Coke at night and lying down, as well as chocolate milk the following morning. He just wasn't moving. I gave him about 36 hours before I called the OB to ask if I should come in. They worked me in that day and all was fine. His heart was beating normally - not too fast not too slow. Doc said he was probably resting after a growth spurt. I think he was practicing how to scare Mommy.

I discovered tiny stretch marks starting on my lower tummy. I've gained a total of 7 pounds now. How fair is it that even though I've gained so little, I'm still blessed with stretch marks? I already have stretch marks, I didn't want anymore. Then again, who really WANTS stretch marks? LOL. I've come to terms with them. I bought some Burt's Bees Belly Butter to alleviate the itchiness and hopefully help them fade sooner. They're not the worst thing in the world and my son will be worth it.

I ended up catching the flu. That was miserable. The OB wanted to see me because I was having chest pains when I coughed. My lungs sounded okay and they gave me some meds to take. I spiked a fever a couple days later and had to take Tylenol every three hours to get it back down from over 101. I was scared.

Then a few days later I had to put my Doberman Pinscher named Roxbury to sleep. My Mom saved him about 6 years ago. His original owners couldn't afford the bone surgery that was required to fix a broken leg, so they wanted to euthanize him. My Mom wouldn't hear of it and offered to adopt him. He became my Roxbury. Three years after we adopted him he developed bone cancer and had to have a leg amputated. They usually only live 6 months after amputation, but Roxbury was a fighter and lived for 3 YEARS after his surgery. My Mom has been taking care of him as I cannot have him at the house that my husband and I rent. (Some stupid people decided that Dobie's are an "aggressive" breed, so they're usually banned from houses by owners.) Mom noticed edema in his three legs and took him in to her vet office. X-rays revealed a soft tissue tumor the completely encompassed his heart. It was so large that it was pushing against his lungs making it difficult to breath. We had to euthanize him the next day. I took him for one last walk in the field because he loved running free outside. He laid down in the field with me and Mom. We had the doc come to us and put him to sleep out there so that he could be at peace. I was petting him and talking to him to his last moments on Earth. I wouldn't let Mom put him to sleep without me. I wanted him to know that his Mommy loved him and wouldn't let him die alone.

Now, I'm a little over 27 weeks and enjoying my lil boy in my tummy. He kicks so hard sometimes! I've even felt his hiccups now, which last for about 10-15 minutes at a time and I feel them very low. My best friend Sarah has felt him kick in addition to my hubby. Things are going well with the pregnancy and life in general. (3/19/08)

At 22.5 weeks...

Yesterday I spotted for the first time in my entire pregnancy. It wasn't a lot at all, but I called the OB anyway. They asked if I had sex recently and I had the ngiht before. I wasn't freaking out because it stopped immediately. The nurse said that I could come in early or just wait til my regularly scheduled follow up today. The spotting stopped so I chose to wait til my regular appt.

I had a weird dream last night. In the dream I ended up having a baby. It was a little boy and there was something sightly wrong with him. His eye was off a little. I remember feeling weird because I was holding him and then I saw my stomach move. I could see a baby still inside me! I saw the baby push really hard and you could see a little hand from the outside. I ended up delivering another baby...and this one was a girl. I don't recall anyone being near me in the hospital. It was just me and my little boy, and then my little girl too.

My OB appt went very well. I have gained a total of 7 pounds so far. My wee one's <3 beat is still going strong. Before I went into the exam room they asked if it was okay for a med student to come in with the doctor. I agreed to it, as I understand that the best way to learn is to see/do instead of just reading HOW. What I didn't know was that it was the same med student that just finished his psych rotation at my office. ODD. The funny thing is that I ended up having to show the doc my nipples, so this guy that I've seen around my work for the last month (thank goodness I don't ever have to see him again) got a sneak peak at my goods. It's true that you do lose some modesty being pregnant and all. In any case, I really felt like the doctor was caring and concerned with me and my baby/pregnancy. Maybe it was because my husband wasn't there...but I felt like the really understood me today. ...comfort :) Usually when my hubby is there he makes everyone laugh, that's just how my husband is, so I end up feeling like no one is taking my questions/concerns seriously. Thank goodness for today! (2/15/08)

At 22 weeks...

So, I think my husband has changed his mind about this new job. I was supposed to take him this past weekend, but he didn't feel comfortable with me taking my car. Thus, we moved it to this coming weekend and we were going to rent a car. Now, he doesn't want to go at all because he doesn't want to be without his wife and baby. He obviously loves me to some extent, but we're having a hard time. I feel all alone. I want attention, affection and sex too. I'd be okay with no sex and lots of attention/affection, but NONE is horrible for me. He doesn't ask to cuddle with me, barely kisses me, rarely hugs me, etc. He hardly does house chores. I'm thinking...why are we married? I feel more married, in the sense of closeness, to some of my friends. I can't live like this. (2/12/08)

At 21 weeks...

Lately I've been feeling good physically. I can feel my baby boy kicking me all the time. He tends to respond to anything that touches my tummy. Well, unless he knows that someone is WANTING to feel him kick, then he stops immediately. :) Stubborn, just like his father (jk). Every time someone puts their hand on my belly to try to feel a kick he stops. I just laugh. I'm sure everyone will get to feel him kick eventually.

I had a rough weekend, as I spent most of it crying. To make a really long story short...when I found out that I was pregnant I quit smoking. My husband, being the sweet supportive guy that he is, decided to quit on his own accord. In case that is unclear...I never asked him to quit. He'd come home sometimes and smell like smoke, so I'd ask, "Have you been smoking?" Everytime I ever asked he said no. Well, Friday I found a back in his hoodie when I was doing laundry. I flipped my lid. Sure I was upset about him smoking, but what really got to me was the fact that he LIED to me. That is just something I cannot and will not tolerate. He went for a big job interview this weekend to a place that is 6 hours away. He left Friday night/ Saturday morning around 1am. He came back late Saturday night/Sunday morning. While he was gone I found 5 empty cigarette packs, a can of tobacco dip and cigar wrappers. I felt so betrayed.

Well, last night we finally got around to talking about how everything went for him on Saturday. Come to find out everything went fabulously and they want to hire him. He didn't know what to do because he doesn't want to be without me and 6 hours one way is a long drive. He doesn't want to miss anything with my pregnancy and the baby and delivery, etc. especially because this is our first baby. They gave him the option of doing a month trial to see how he likes it. We decided that's what he's going to do and he told the company today. I'm very happy for him. I strongly encouraged him to take this opportunity. Who knows how often such a position will come up!? So, he'll be gone for a month, which means that I'll have to go to my OB appt alone on the 15th and I'll be all alone on Valentine's Day. V-Day is a big deal to me...I don't care if Hallmark invented it. It's one more day a year that I get to feel special. All good things come with sacrifices I suppose.

I'm going to have to pray very hard about this. I don't know what will happen. On one hand I hope this works out and he keeps the job up there, because it's actually in his field (culinary world). However, I want to stay here for the duration of my pregnancy and delivery. Not just that, but my job is here and I have everything order here. I just pray that whatever is meant to be will be and God will guide me. Oh how I loathe NOT being in control of everything. :( (2/5/08)

At 20.5 weeks...

My mom sent me an email and this was at the bottom of it: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34. I thought it was particularly useful for me today. I'm trying to learn to let go of my stresses. It's not easy for me. I've always been a worry wart, planner, etc. I'm okay with all this if I'm by myself, but being with my husband just makes it all useless. I'm trying to adjust to his lifestyle without losing myself. I'm trying to make this work. I'm trying to be a good wife, soon-to-be mother, etc. Sometimes I just get tired and I feel like my well is going dry. I have given so much to others that I have no left to replenish myself. On that note, I think I'll go for a walk down to the park to get some sunlight. Maybe these feelings are just a vitamin deficiency. (2/3/08)

At 20 weeks...

OMG. I can't believe that I'm half way through already! We had an appt on Friday with the OB and the heart beat is still going strong. I told my OB that I can feel him kicking around in there. The doc says it's going to get a lot stronger :) I can't wait. At the doctor's office I found out that I've gained a total of 4 pounds so far. While I'm VERY excited about this, I'm trying to keep in mind that we tend to gain the majority of our weight in the SECOND half of the pregnancy. The good news is that my husband is gaining weight with me! He says that he's gained at least 10 pounds so far. Too cute.

This weekend I woke up lying on my right side. I laid on my back and propped myself up with pillows so that I could rub my belly and talk to my baby boy. It was the weirdest thing so far. Apparently, when I was lying on my right side he decided to curl up in a ball and floated to the top of the amniotic fluid, which happened to put him on my left side. Thus, when I rolled on my back I felt a HUGE lump on my left side and the right side was flat. It was so strange and so cute. He eventually moved around into a more comfortable position.

Unfortunately, I still have people TELLING me what to name our baby. Who does that?!?! I mean, if I ask you for ideas or advice...SURE. However, I never asked my MIL or SIL anything about what to name our son. Sunday my MIL and SIL sat around telling me what I should name him. I finally got fed up and walked out of the room.

On to other things...I've actually cooked three meals in the past 10 days or so. Amazing. I have never had the urge to cook before, but now (probably nesting instincts) I do! My husband has been really great about eating the food that I cook too (even if it's not half as good as his food). I think he enjoys getting a break from the kitchen duties! :)

I hope all is well with you soon-to-be/already are MOMMIES!

At 19 weeks and 2 days...

I'm having a rough day so far. The husband and I got into an argument last night and again this morning. I hate fighting. It just takes so much out of me. Now, I'm at work and trying to keep it together. (1/24/08)

At 19 weeks...

I enjoyed my three day weekend, but wish it were longer. Right now my big focus is choosing a suitable name for my little baby boy. My husband and I are having such a hard time picking a name that we both LOVE. We have great ideas. I hope we can agree on one soon. If anyone has any helpful hints for baby naming, please feel free to chime in. :) I spoke with my MIL last night and she said that she has started shopping for the baby already. I was thrilled; how sweet! I feel like I have to pee all the time. I think the baby likes pushing on my bladder like it's a pillow. I just feel this pressure on my bladder for a few moments, then it's gone. I can feel him rolling about in my tummy, but his kicks are few and far between. I'm just glad he's doing okay in there. We have our next appointment on Friday and my husband has already informed me that he probably won't be able to attend. I'm not upset as it'll only be the second appt that he's missed. Well, as always, I hope all is going well for you moms and moms to be. (1/22/08)

At 18.5 weeks...

This week has been lovely. My Mom went on a vacation for the first time without her children. I took care of my sister this week and we had a blast. She's 16 and just such an amazing young lady. We've always been close, but the older we get the closer we become. Needless to say I'm going to miss her, but on the other hand I'm glad to have my Mom back in town. She went on a cruise with her boyfriend to the Keys and the Bahamas. What a ball! I can't wait to see the pictures. I talked to her last night about the ultrasound and told her that it's a baby boy! She's so excited. I'm looking forward to the three day weekend! Whoot whoot!!!! :) Maybe I'll actually get to spend some time with my friends! I hope everyone else is doing well. (1/18/08)

At 18 weeks...

We went to our appointment today for our level 2 ultrasound. They baby looks amazing! IT'S A BOY! His hands, feet, legs, arms, head, face...everything looks so perfect. I'm so in love. My husband is bouncing off the walls. In addition to finding out that God has graced us with a little boy, my husband got a job today! We're very proud parents already. (1/15/08)

Almost 18 weeks...

I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to everyone on this website for all the support you provide. I'd also like to thank my mother, my best friend Sarah, and all of my other friends who have lended a hand/ear to me. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have this support right now. You fellow pregnant ladies are amazing! (1/14/08)

At 17.5 weeks...

We went to our child birth class yesterday. We opted to take it in one full day instead of spreading it out over three evenings. It was really interesting. I felt like it gave us some insight on what to expect, I was informed of a few things that I was unaware of, and it showed our partners what to do during labor (different back rubs, hand rubs, breathing, etc.) There were a total of 9 couples and all 8 of the other pregnant women were further along than I was. I just didn't want to wait until that far out to find out what it's going to be like and whatnot. Some of these women were 34-36 weeks, but whatever floats your boat. I'm so excited about Tuesday morning (7:30am) that I just can't stand it. I just have to make it through today and Monday. I hope everything is going well with all of you lovely ladies. (1/13/08)

At 17 weeks...

I haven't felt my baby in a week and now I'm starting to worry. I'm trying not to get too freaked out about it because I know it's not consistent in the beginning. I only have one week left until the level 2 ultrasound. I found out yesterday that my insurance will cover it, thank goodness. This Saturday is the childbirth class and I wonder if my husband will go. I'm sure if we're not arguing he will go, but I don't know if he will go if we are arguing. We'll see. I don't know if I want to buy a doppler now, because at 18 weeks you can hear the baby's heart beat with a stethoscope - and I already own a stethoscope. Sometimes I feel guilty/bad for not eating healthier, specifically when it comes to meat. I've tried to eat pork and chicken this week, but they don't sit well with my stomach. However, hamburgers sit perfectly well. I don't want to hurt the baby or make the baby fat or even make myself fat...but no other meat is really cutting it. I try to eat yogurt and fruits and veggies and whole grains and lots of fiber and whatnot...but I still don't feel like I'm eating healthy enough. It may just be guilt associated with eating...I've always had weight/body image issues. In any case, I'll make it through. I hope all you other mothers or soon to be mothers reading this are doing well. Take care. (1/8/08)

At 16 weeks...

So since Sunday 12/30/07 I've felt the baby move every day. 12/30 it was twice, and everyday since then it's only been once. I love it. It feels like a little twitch or butterflies. It's amazing. I can't wait to see my little baby. I hope and pray everyday that my baby is okay. I think that the Level 2 ultrasound on Jan 15th will alleviate a lot of my worries. Yay for week 16. (1/1/08)

At almost 16 weeks...

I'm feeling a little down today. I had a rough weekend with the husband and it's carrying over into today. I feel strong though, because I know I'll be okay. This beautiful baby inside me keeps me going...keeps me hanging on. I think I felt the baby move twice yesterday - once in the morning when I was trying to get dressed and once in the evening when I was taking a bath. I felt it again today. This is my first pregnancy, so I hope and pray that what I'm feeling is really the baby. My gut says it is the baby, so that's what I'm going with. Thank God for miracles. (12/31/07)

At 15.5 weeks...

We had our appointment this morning! Unfortunately, we did not get a chance to see the baby as no ultrasound was done. However, we did get to hear the baby's mighty strong heart beat somehwere in the 150's. The Chinese gender chart says it'll be a girl, and the heart rate suggests it'll be a girl...but everyone in my husband's family and some other random people keep telling me it's a boy. We have our level 2 ultrasound scheduled for January 15th, so we'll see!! I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to see my little bundle of joy! :) (12/28/07)

At 14.5 weeks...

I love being pregnant. Things are going well and I'm very excited about our appointment on Friday. I never went through that phase that, apparently, some women go through where they don't feel pregnant. I'm still nausea free, mood is still calm, I'm still tired, still experience sharp pains in my abdomen if I move too quickly from sitting/lying down to standing, still no movement felt. I can't wait to feel the baby move! I'm feeling random sharp pains radiating down to my mother hole and after I eat my heart will do this weird thing...it's not as strong as heart palpatations that I'm used to feeling, but it beats harder than normal. I assume it's due to higher blood volume and such, so I'm not worried about it. I actually look a little preggo now, but I'm still looking forward to my belly getting a little bigger. I need to start getting up earlier to go for a walk, because by the time I get off work it's too dark to walk. I should also pick back up on my pilates, seeing as I've slacked off since May of this year. Geez. I love it when my husband kisses my tummy. Tata for now. (12/24/07)

At 13.5 weeks...

I'm feeling so much better. Nausea is gone, mood swings/out of control emotions have calmed and I actually stayed up until 10:30pm last night! We heard the baby's heart beat on 11/30 and it sounded amazingly similar to the opening of a FOB song. The next appointment will be 12/28 and I can hardly wait. That's all for now. (12/16/07)

Almost 11 weeks...

I'm crying everyday and fighting with my husband almost everyday. It's been this way for a while now. Is this normal during the first trimester? Please help.

Now...

I'm pregnant for the first time. Thankfully I haven't vomited at all, but I have been nauseous almost everyday. The worst part of being pregnant, so far, is my moodiness/weepiness. My poor husband is having a hard time adapting to these changes.