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sandymay
Age: 26
Country: US
Province/region: -
City: -
Partner: Brandon
Children: Yes, 1
Pregnant: Yes
Occupation: Homemaker
Online: 37 days ago.
Last updated: 40 days ago.
Member since: 273 days
| Profile | Photos (1) | Children (1) | Blog (0) | Polls (1)
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...Last night I cried for You.

I saw a child being born on tv and my heart suddenly exploded.

Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far without You,...

I will never understand why you weren't mine to keep;

My only understanding is that you were once mine.

...Last night I cried for You.

And I missed You so much...

I wished I could turn back the time and make it right.

For this pain is never-ending and...

My love for you is all that remains from our time together.

...Last night I cried for You,

as I always do,

when I say Your name... and my heart skips a beat...

in memory of You.

♥♥♥♥

_____________
Jaidon Bradley B.
*
Mommy knew You were a boy at 7 weeks when a dream told her so;
She knew your name although she had never thought of boy names before and gave your Family Anitials JBB;
She will never forget how excited she was when she found out about You and the first time she heard your heart beat;
You were the 5'th Grandson and the first Great-Grandchild;
You also were her first pregnancy and however complicated it was,
she LOVED you enough for this Lifetime and everyone after.
You are her most precious blessing from God
and though she gets sad because you aren't with her anymore...
she will ALWAYS, always love you.
_______________
♥♥♥♥
.:Your parents:.
Christmas 07 @ Moms
________
On Jan. 16'th 2008 at 21 w 4 d (I believe you were older since I was pregnant 23 w but you didn't grow accordingly so the doctors went by your size) at my bi-weekly sono we learned that your little heart had stopped beating. I remember that the weekend before you had stopped keeping my up at night but the nurse said something about resting-periods and so we dont know for sure when you left this world behind.
I was admitted on the 17'th and after a day in labor I delivered your tiny little body at 11:40 pm on Jan. 18'th 2008.
You weighed only 5 ounces and measured 8 inches.
The tests came back inconclusive but we know that you had a small kidney
and that you didn't grow.
It's was a tough month but your Family was so supportive and helped your Mommy through the hard times.
______________________
♥♥♥♥
march 002
____________
.: We burried You on Good Friday March 21'st 2008:.
march 007
♥♥♥♥
Mother of an Angel
♥♥♥♥
_________________________
{Here is a story I was sent to by a friend and I love the whole meaning of it}
So please read it and give it a thought...
"Things aren't always what they seem"

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy farmer. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,

'Things aren't always what they seem'.

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die..

'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older angel replied.

'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.'
'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife I gave him the cow instead.

'Things aren't always what they seem.'

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later...

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow a mystery.

Today is a gift.

So always remember to be Thankful for each day.

♥♥♥♥






Comments on sandymay`s Profile
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Comments 1-25 to sandymay
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michir - Monday, 30 June
That is a beautiful poem on your page! I lost my angel at 25 weeks and I knew the feeling. God bless!!!


molly2416 - Sunday, 29 June
I just got some new pictures up of the girls and of our new driveway. I'm now getting ready to take down the chicken wall paper that's in our Kitchen. Hopefully we can paint it in a few weeks as soon as I get it down. Hope all is good and hope to talk to you soon!!!


molly2416 - Saturday, 14 June
I got those pictures up that I was talking about. If you want you should check them out. I'm just so glad that ALL the pictures are off the camera so I could update my pictures lol


molly2416 - Friday, 13 June
Please watch this alert!!! If you are going to be taking your kids swimming this is somthing you MUST WATCH.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24982210/from/ET/



melissao - Thursday, 12 June
Automatic update: melissao added a new blog: Doctors this week..


.:Mama:. - Wednesday, 11 June
Automatic update: .:Mama:. added a new blog: Week 6


melissao - Friday, 30 May
Im glad i could be of some help=) So have U and yours started to try again? I sure hope soon Never give up Im praying for you both... XOXOXO=)


molly2416 - Friday, 30 May
I know your time will come. When I lost my baby it didn't matter it was still lost. I so understand. I still think about how everything is different since we lost him. I got my blessing after we lost him and I know that you will too. I'm here if you EVER need ANYTHING!


molly2416 - Thursday, 29 May
I'm so sorry for your loss. I never knew what I was having when I lost my baby and I often think whats harder knowing or not knowing. I really truly feel that you and your husband will make great parents someday and I truly hope and pray god blesses you with one very soon.


melissao - Thursday, 29 May
when putting your play list up make sure you click the HTML Button up on the right hand corner of the update box then put your code in.=) I hope that helps TTYL


mommy to boys - Sunday, 25 May
Thank you very much. We are "TICKLED PINK" hee hee


mommy to boys - Thursday, 22 May
Well thank you. :) Just one baby in there and baby fat from my last baby who just turned one. :) I went to the dr today and all looks good, it is definitely a girl. :)


wiccanmommy - Friday, 2 May
LOL Yeah well I just decided that it was time to put something on here that represents who I am. I like it though I know it seems kind of dark but I think it looks awesome :) LOL Thats pretty funny yeah I always am glad to wake up next to my husband. It's definately worth it when I'm laying there looking at him and he just happens to open his eyes and smiles when he sees me. Warms my heart:) I do understand about the alarm thing though....I wake up every morning when his goes off it scares the heck out of me and he normally sleeps through it LOL I am having a wonderful day I hope you are too!


roosa - Sunday, 27 April
sandy, thanks for writing back. I would love to hear more about your Jaidon. I must have read your brief story on somebody else's site cause I can't find it now.. Was Jaidon stillborn and do you know what happened? I see you have a footprint. Did you get to hold him?

I am glad you have a 3 year old to hold and love. I am so thankful I have my son Kaleb. It is also something that keeps you going in the daily life. I need to be there for him and keep up his routine, so I can't just sink down in the couch and just be miserable all the time. I think that is mostly a good thing, although grieving is important.

The first couple of weeks I felt people wanted to talk to me about it and that they were very compassionate. But after that it seemed quite obvious to me that most expected me to be better. The questions slowed down and so also my chance of talking about Kathleen, something I really, really wanted to. I am not complaining about the practical support though from my friends/church. So much food and some watched our son some mornings and now we are getting cleaning done. So the practical help has been there for sure. It is the emotional help that is lacking cause no one has gone through a similar loss and can't relate. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about it, plus I think people tend to think it is better for me not to talk about it, or that I don't want to. But I do. That is why we had a counselor from our local support group for parents who have lost a child come out and talk to me the other day. She is going to get me connected to someone else in their group who has gone through a similar experience but are several years down the grief track. I think that will be helpful. I also write and chat with others who are grieving and that seems helpful. There are some good grief chat rooms out there. Plus I journal a lot. How is your support? How are you finding ways to cope, other than your 3 year old and being thankful?

I understand why you are taking the approach of letting nature do it's thing and not really trying as such. You are also a bit younger than me :) I am almost 35 so I also have the stress upon me of time running out... But will try and relax about it.

Take care! Karin


roosa - Wednesday, 23 April
I am so sorry for your loss. I read your VIP site and felt your pain, your tears. I guess this is one ability we receive from our Lord after having lost a child - the ability to feel and know other people's pain and grief. If that is a reason, I don't know. I have a hard time believing cruel things happen for a reason, other than the fact that we live in a fallen world, but I do believe they can be used for something good, and I intend to let God do so.
How long ago did you loose your son? How are you finding ways to cope? Are you going to try again and how soon? Were the doctors able to tell you the reason you the reason he passed?
My pregnancy was a real rollercoaster. One week I saw a doctor who would tell me that it could be all this terrible stuff (yet she couldn't really back it up) and the next week I would see a doctor who would say that it was nothing serious, my bleeding. Unfortunately I was on a system where I would get to see whatever doctor was available next and that meant a new doctor every time... There was no consistency. After having seen the last doctor I got all excited, only to loose my precious baby the next week. I am still waiting to hear if they found the cause. I am very grateful that baby Katleen was born alive and I got to hold her for 90 min. It is extremely unusual that a baby at that age live that long.
I too told myself that this baby wasn't mine, whether or not we made it through the pregnancy. I believe we are carekeepers of our little ones, but they are never really ours. One verse I kept telling myself is: "everything is made by Jesus and for Jesus". The baby belongs to Jesus, not me, yet babies are a true blessing. Even though I told myself that this baby is not mine, the loss still hurts beyond words.
There is nothing I want more than to be pregnant again, and there is nothing I am more terrified off. Put all the grief on top of that and my life is pretty confusing and hard at the moment, but I am getting through it one day at a time, one step at a time.
All the best and hope to hear back from you soon. Karin


pinkb00h - Tuesday, 22 April
Why hewwo me love! Was Juno a good movie? I want to see it, but I'm scared I'll cry lol. I like that poem.. was it from that movie, or did you make it up?


jamfam - Tuesday, 22 April
I am sorry for the loss of your son. Blessings to you and your family.


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Photos
My little one at 15 weeks... (2007, 11, 25)

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Jaidon (2008)

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