Update: Ok I had the scan and the tech said she is 80% sure it's a boy, but he kept crossing his legs so she wants us to come back in a couple weeks to confirm it. Two techs actually looked and they both thought it was a boy, so here's hoping...my husband is beside himself with happiness! Oh yeah I forgot to mention I felt the baby move for the first time yesterday! I had thought maybe I felt something a few days ago, but yesterday after all the poking and prodding of the U/S it was unmistakable, and I have been feeling it ever since. Yeah!!! :)

7/9/07 - So today at work they did an ultrasound for me and guess what? The tech said he thinks it's a GIRL. Great! Now we are just totally confused and in gender limbo. The problem is that at this point the labia of a girl can be pronounced and look like boy parts - but we seemed to see 2 parallel lines that say it's a girl. We still have the 4D ultrasound this weekend, so I am hoping hoping hoping it is clearer then!!! Here is a pic of the bean:

7/10/07 - I had to update to say that my husband felt the baby move for the first time last night. After I showed him the U/S pics, I felt the baby moving around and told my hubby I could feel him. So he laid his hand on my stomach and right then the baby kicked! He looked at me with this excited look on his face and I said, "Yep, that was him!" He was so excited and kept trying to feel it again but baby had given out his gifts for the night. :) It was very cool. :)

7/14/07 - IT"S A GIRL!!! Two techs looked and said definitely a girl! I am sooooo excited and happy. My husband was kinda bummed at first because he really wanted a boy, but he got over it once we went shopping and looked at all the adorable baby girl clothes. :) So happy!!!!

7/19/07 - Yesterday the little flutteries started to feel like REAL kicks. She wasn't playing around! I could even see them! Every time she did it I would talk to her and she would kick again. It was so cute and I was smiling for like an hour. :) Still haven't gained much weight (5-6 lbs), but I just started to get my old appetite back 3 days ago - although I still can't eat much in one sitting - so hopefully I will start to gain now. I have another appt with my midwife tomorrow morning so I will get the AFP results and just a checkup I guess. I am hopeful that the AFP was normal since it was done a month ago and they never called me with unpleasant news.

Next week is my last week of rotations and then I am done with school - whoo hoo! Then I have August off to study for the boards which I take Sept 1st - then a 2 week wait for scores and then I can start working! :) I already applied for a part-time job in family practice, but don't know if I will get it since I am pregnant but we will see.

Our 2 year wedding anniversary is the end of next week, so we are going up to Big Bear for 4 days. It should be really relaxing and I am SO looking forward to the break and 4 whole days I actually get to spend with Zane...usually a few hours is the extent of our time together because our schedules are so hectic and conflicting. Well guess that's all for now, hope everyone is feeling well and having a good week!

7/20/07 - Ugh so here's a bit of drama...I wanted to switch from my midwife because I decided I wanted an epidural AND I was able to get on my husband's insurance so the birth would be covered vs $5000 out of pocket. Also we are moving and it's about a hour and a half or 2 hr drive to the midwife's place. So come to find out today, the contract we signed - which she is faxing to us today -apparently says we have to pay the whole thing no matter what. So now I am at an impass because I don't want a natural birth any longer and frankly think she has been less than upfront about the money situation (long story but she's been very evasive about what we owed until my husband called her today and asked point blank), so now I don't trust her and honestly don't want to go there anymore! It won't cost us any more to still switch to a regular doctor because of the insurance, but I hate the idea of paying thousands of dollars for services we are never going to get! Eh.... So I am going to take the contract to a friend of mine who is a lawyer and have him look at it and see if there is a way around it. So lame!!!

8/1/07 - 21 weeks and feeling good! She is moving around a lot, especially late at night when I am trying to get to sleep! :) Every day I am more grateful and overwhelmed by what I have been given. Sometimes when I think about it and feel her moving around I am just so flooded with emotion I have to cry or laugh, usually a little of both. I am so thankful to God for this miracle, so thankful I have no words to express it.

My appetite is finally back with a vengeance. I have gained 3 lbs in the past 2 weeks for a total of 8 so far. I hadn't been craving any junk food like ice cream or anything - well that's over. This weekend when we went to Big Bear I ate ice cream, a brownie, popcorn, raisinettes, pringles, and part of a sugar cookie - and that's not counting all the calorie and sugar-laden starbucks (decaf of course) - and that's just in 3 days! Good God. I am going to start going back to the gym tomorrow now that school is over and I have more free time, and hopefully I can get my cravings under control - starting tomorrow! For now, I am going to go make a big pot of white rice and eat it with milk and sugar. *sigh* Hope everyone is well!

8/15/07 - 23 weeks and doing great! My bellybutton, while still an innie at this moment, is now so shallow I keep thinking it is going to pop out at any moment. Paityn is really active, especially late at night, early in the morning, and if I eat sweet or cold foods. Some good news: I found an OB who seems really nice and won't tell me what I can or can't do during labor - and I talked to my ex-midwife and told her I won't be coming anymore and she didn't even mention the money we supposedly owe her, just wished me good luck. We will see if we get a bill in the mail, but hopefully she just decided to be cool. And, I found a job! Yippee! It is family practice about an hour drive from me which is kinda far, but I am just glad to have found something since I was worried no one would want to hire a preggers! :) Well hope everyone is doing well and staying cool (a few days ago my fingers looked like sausages)!

9/15/07 - Hey everyone, it's been a while since I have updated due to the fact that we have been moving and I have no internet access at the new house until the 20th. It's been killing me and makes me realize just how dependent on the internet I am! Anyway things have been going well, I started the new job and love it. I am only working 3 days a week so it's perfect. We set up the nursery yesterday except we had to return the crib because the holes weren't drilled right so it didn't fit together. But it looks really cute - I will post a pic when I remember to borrow my mom's camera - mine decided to self-destruct 2 days ago. That goes ditto for pics of the belly, it is really getting huge now! I now weigh 132, which is up 17 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I am trying to watch what I eat now because in 2 months I gained like 12 lbs. I don't care though, I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and had a ball - so now I am slowing it down a bit. It seems to be working as over the past 2 weeks I have stayed at the same weight, so that's good. Paityn is going crazy these days and it seems like she never sleeps! I sit there and watch my belly and it seems like she just wants to pop right through! I can't wait to see her - I had a dream she was here last night and when I woke up I was so anxious to see her I couldn't believe I still had 88 days to wait! I am trying not to want to rush it though, because I know I will miss being pregnant and that I will never have this time back again. I think there is something extraordinarily special about a first pregnancy, and despite all the aches and pains and insomnia, I really do love being pregnant. If I could have her in my arms and still have the closeness of being pregnant with her I would. :) Anyway, hope everyone is well and enjoying a bit of cooler weather as we are here in sunny CA. :)

10/16/07 - Well I am 8 months tomorrow and can barely believe I am this far along. In the beginning it felt like time was creeping by as I waited for each little milestone, and now I can't believe I am already at 32 weeks. So little of this precious time left! We started Lamaze classes last week which was really good, I love our instructor and think it is really going to make both of us feel more at ease about the birth. Plus it is nice to meet other couples going through the same things and worrying about the same issues. :)

I am working 2-3 days a week now until Nov 28th, which will be my last day for about 2 months. I am really looking forward to it, because it means she will be here soon! My baby shower is in 2 weeks and I am really excited about that too because I will get to see a lot of friends I haven't seen in a while. Even with only working part-time it seems like I am always busy, either cleaning or studying or getting the nursery set up. I am spending a lot of time with my family, mostly mom and grams, so we are always shopping or fixing up the house or cooking. It's a good time. :)

I am feeling pretty good except for the heartburn (more frequent and horrible every day), and the back/pelvic aches. I already went to the hospital once at 29 weeks because I was having back and abdominal cramps, where they gave me IV fluids and monitored me, so now I am constantly alert for any signs that I might have to go back which I absolutely don't want to do. They told me it was probably dehydration so they gave me 2L of fluid, which did calm down the contractions but made my feet and hands swell up like pumpkins. Since then I have been religiously drinking 12 glasses of water a day (the day I went in I had drank 8), and haven't had any problems but still getting the back and pelvic pain. But considering there's a little being in there pressing on my bladder/spine/ribs, I guess some discomfort is to be expected. Lately I can't eat much more than a piece of fruit at one time because I feel so full and uncomfortable and the heartburn starts to kick my butt. However still riding the weight gain wave, not sure how much I have gained as I have stopped looking but I am sure they will spell it out loud and clear at my next doctor's appt (2 days). Anyway, for all my whining still enjoying every moment, hope everyone else is doing just as good!

11/20/07 - Well I am officially huge. I have gained 30 lbs so far and even though in clothes it looks like it is all out front (people keep insisting it is a boy despite ultrasound evidence), I alone know how much the rest of my body has grown! Arms, thighs, hips, butt, face, you name it, it's grown. Even my calves! Of course I am dealing with the swelling issues too, some days better than others. I am still working until next week (the 28th), and even though it's only 3 days a week they are 10 hour days plus an hour drive each way and it exhausts me. I wanted to take off sooner but found out I don't qualify for disability because I have been in school for the past 2 years and only working the past 3 months - they look at the last year starting 5 months ago to figure out what to pay you. Since I was in school and had no income, I don't qualify. Which is crap because these last 2 years were the first time in my life that I haven't worked and now because of it I can't get any assistance. bah. Anyway because of it I need to keep working until I had originally planned, which is 8 more days (I can do it!). I just hope Paityn doesn't decide to come a bit early because work is an hour from home and an hour and a half to the hospital!

Anyway, I am ready to have this little girl. Her nursery is all done and we are now just sort of in restless excitement mode waiting for her to get here. The good thing is I have Thanksgiving and Christmas shopping and decorating to distract me and keep me from counting the seconds! I will post more pics when I get a chance, since we moved I don't have my closet mirror to take pics in anymore so I have to trap the husband into taking them and I always think about it when he's not around. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to everyone, hope this week is joyous!

12/5/07 - So went to the hospital Monday (day before yesterday) because I was having regular contractions (2-3 min apart), although they didn't hurt, just felt like tightening. They checked me and said I am 80% effaced but no dilation yet. I was hoping for more, but I guess she's really comfy in there! Everyone's on pins and needles now waiting for something more to happen, including me! I have a doctor's appt tomorrow so we will see if anything has changed since Monday. I feel the contractions getting stronger, but it is a very slow change, just feels like stronger menstrual cramps. I can't wait till it actually happens!!!!

12/13/07 - My Birth Story!!! I went in to the doctor on Thursday (the 7th) for my appointment, and she checked me and I was 1 cm dilated and 90% effaced. She swept my membranes (ouch) and told me she thought I would go into labor before my due date on the 12th, but that in case I didn't we would schedule an induction on my due date. Well the next day (Fri) I had stronger contractions all day but still nothing crazy. That night I went to bed about 9:30 and at 9:45 I woke up with a gush of warm water! I jumped up and yelled, "Water broke, water broke!" My husband jumped up and started scrambling around frantically, and I ran to the bathroom as the fluid continued to pour. I saw the mucus plug and all of a sudden the contractions got a lot stronger. We got in the car for the 20 min drive to the hospital, and by the time we got there I was in so much pain I could barely walk or breathe and was still gushing fluid with every contraction, which were coming every 1-2 minutes so that I never even had a chance to catch my breath! We finally got up to L&D about 10:40 pm and they checked me in, and once I was all set up in my room the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural and how soon. I was under the impression I had to wait till 4 cm to get one (unbelievably when I got there I was still only 1 cm), but she told me no, that was old school and that I could have one whenever I wanted. Being that I thought I was going to split in 2 because of the pain, I said please give me one as soon as possible! So she started all the paperwork and IV and stuff, and it still took about 2 hours from the time I got there to get it, by which time I was 3 cm. Once the epidural kicked in and I could relax (such a miracle), it was a waiting game. About 3 am when I was 6 cm, the baby's heart rate dropped because I had no fluid and she was compressing her cord. They decided to do an amnioinfusion to add some fluid back, which raised her heart rate, but then I spiked a fever and her heart rate went too high. They put in an internal monitor and watched me, and her heart rate stayed in the 160's-170's until I was fully dilated at 8:00 am. When I started pushing, the contractions were frequent but not strong enough, and every time I pushed her heart rate went into the 190's. After a few pushes (half hour or so?) the doctor decided it wasn't safe for the baby and sent me in for a c-section. I was bummed after all that I had to have a section, but was glad the baby would be safe. My biggest regret is that they put me under because my left side wasn't numbing correctly (they had to give me another bolus at 9 cm because all the pain came back and I was in tears again), and so I didn't get to hear her first cry and when they brought her to me before they took her out it was really hard for me to focus and I saw 2 of her no matter how hard I tried to shake it off. But all in all I am just happy that she is healthy and safe. She was born at 10:20 am 12/8/07, weighed 7 lbs 4 oz and was 19 inches long. They kept us in the hospital an extra day because she was a little jaundiced and lost too much weight, but after supplementing with some formula she started gaining again and they let us go yesterday afternoon. Now we are home and loving life with our precious gift from God. There is nothing better in the world!!!

Madame Zaritzska's Prediction:

The day you deliver, outside will be warm. Your baby will arrive in the morning.

After a labor lasting approximately 6 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 12 ounces, and will be 20 inches long. This child will have green eyes and dark hair. (Hmmm not real accurate - we had a girl, my labor was 12 1/2 hrs, she weighed 7 lbs 4 oz and was 19 inches long, and has blue eyes and blondish hair. Oh well!)

But there is more. Although you may feel tired, your pregnancy will be over before you are truly ready to let go of having this precious baby you have all to yourself. I sense that you will look back and long for these days. I suggest doing something now to preserve some memories of this time.