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shelm2
shelm2 has 35 days to go and is now in week 35
Age: 31
Country: US
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City: Kansas city
Partner: Josh
Children: Yes, 2
Pregnant: Yes
Due date: 12 Oct ,2008
Occupation: Business Continuity Analyst
Online: 3 days ago.
Last updated: 143 days ago.
Member since: 182 days
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This is our third and we are shocked! I won't bore you with the details but this pregnancy was meant to be. My husband was also scheduled to get his vasectomy but due to a friend of his that has one first, and it going quite badly, he backed out of his and HERE WE ARE! There goes the guest room!

We were just so set on not having anymore that even though I am at 12 weeks I still freak out everytime I think about the fact that we are going to have another. I have a four year old and a 1 year old already. Our youngest will only be 21 months when the third one is born. We are going to have our hands full. But we love our babies more than anything in the world and have no doubt this one will be the same.

Also, I am quite lucky because a good friend of mine is also pregnant and has a due date 8 days before mine. She tends to go late and I tend to go early so who knows....

Congratulations to everyone...





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sparklyval - Friday, 27 June
Hi Sarah, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write back to you. Things have been a bit crazy here over the last week or so, but hopefully the next week should be a bit calmer. I am really very well apart from not having enough hours in the day/week!

Actually it has been a fantastic week as it was the Bon Jovi concert on Sunday night!! I managed to get a night away with my husband without the children also!! We had a couple of days to see the concert in Manchester (which is about 2 hours by car from where we live). Although I have seen them play quite a few times now, this was probably the best concert of theirs I have been to and lived up to all my expectations. Jon Bon Jovi is 46 now, but seemed to have the energy of someone half the age (I wish I had as much energy!) The band played for 2 hours 45 minutes and the music was outstanding! It was very strange to be away from the children for so long (we haven't had a night away from them for over a year), but it was lovely to have some time alone with my husband. Somehow I think it will be the last time for quite a while (years even!!) with a new baby due soon.

I am pleased that your scan was good a couple of weeks ago. This baby seems to be pretty strong too judging by the movements I have been getting. I have a feeling that she is laying head down now as most of the movements I get are at the top below my ribcage. They are not uncomfortable though - at least not at the moment. Sorry to hear that your little chap is breech. I understand that they are able to turn around up until about 31/32 weeks, so there is plenty of time for him to switch around. However, if your girls didn't turn before you had them maybe he will stay the way he is? I think if I was a baby I would prefer to be the right way around too. I can't imagine spending weeks on end head down!!

Your calculations on the cost of fuel here in the UK were almost spot on. I got my husband to help me to work it out from the price you gave me as I am not very good at all the complicated conversions! I know you were complaining about the cost of buying petrol where you are but it sounds so CHEAP!!! We are paying twice as much to fill the car here as you are! Luckily we don't do a lot of miles as it is only a 15 minute journey to work from where we live and my husband cycles in on two of the days that I am not at work. As we both work at the University we can come in by car together on Mondays and Fridays. So, I guess it could be worse for us than it is.

It sounded as though Father's day was quite an experience with your husband's family. Unfortunately we can't choose family members and they seem to come in all sorts of varieties!! We have our fair share of 'unusual' characters in our family too. If I tried to write about them I could be here for a very long time. Our philosophy in life is to concentrate on our own little family with the girls and not get too involved with what is going on with the more extended family. This is sometimes easier said than done - and I think we have had similar experiences of family gatherings too. It can be extremely hard work at times so we keep contact down to a minimum!! Like you, I try to find the best in everyone around, but it can be testing at times. Maybe we are more intolerant of family because you know them a bit better or have higher expectations of what they should be like. I am not sure....

So, how are things with you? I hope you have been well and that the weather has calmed a bit since you last wrote. It sounded a bit worrying with your talk of tornados and flooding. I don't know about you, but in the last week or so I have started to feel very big! I haven't dramatically gained a lot more weight, so maybe it is pscyhological or maybe the baby has increased in size. Things are beginning to seem a little more difficult (especially reaching my feet to put my shoes on!!)

I am going to have to leave off writing for now as I need to go for lunch, but I will try to write a bit more soon. If I don't manage to write later then it may not be until after the weekend as I am going to be away overnight visiting a friend that I haven't seen for a couple of years. I am catching the train immediately after work and returning home tomorrow evening. The girls seemed quite sad about me leaving them for a day with their dad!! But, I know the three of them will be just fine and they may appreciate me a little bit more when I come home!

Hope you are having a good day.
Valerie x


beks1978 - Friday, 27 June
same here i didnt have it with my 3 other children just this one....good luck!


beks1978 - Tuesday, 24 June
hi thanks for your message, was very scary at first...but alot of people have told me alot of good stories so im hopeful about the outcome...have you got strep b with this child too??


lilm@m@ - Monday, 23 June
One of my kids was also breech around this point in my pregnancy and my midwife told me to do this daily exercise to try to get the baby to flip on it's own, you get down on your knees and elbows with your butt high up in the air and just stay like that for I think 5-10 minutes a couple times a day. Ask your Dr. about it to get more specific. It worked for me.
Hope that helps some.


herewego - Monday, 23 June
interesting - this baby is hanging out towards my right side and so was my first...I guess there is a "nook" kind of a bummer as my docs had me crawling 30mins/day to reposition my son for the last 3 weeks (not so fun). As for swelling - I get it awfully, I read somewhere that it is affected by the levels of protein you eat. I'm not sure if that is true, but I have upped my protein and mine has decreased considerably. With my first I drank gallons of water and retained every bit of it...so, I don't think that is the solution


sharra - Monday, 23 June
Hi, I was told to drink atleast a gallon of liquids a day and most should be from water. Some reg tea or coffee in morning may wash some fluids out that you are holding on to. Other than that if I make a point to put my feet up during the day that seems to help, so get off your feet! I know hard to do. Rest and water is the only thing I know- watch the salt- but you need enough salt to help keep you hydrated. Good luck- stay cool.


sparklyval - Wednesday, 18 June
Hello Sarah!
Another week gone by - I just can't keep pace with things at the moment - there seems so much going on in the run up to the girls coming to the end of the year at school/nursery. In fact it will be quite strange as Kate finishes nursery for good on 25th July. She only goes there part time on the two days a week that I work, but she has been at the same nursery now for almost 4 years. She has a visit to 'big' school on 4th July

I don't think I have managed to ask how you got on at your scan last week? I hope that everything was good. Was your little man very active? Did you get any pictures?

How much do you pay for a gallon of petrol/gas at the moment? I was trying to work out how the price must compare between here and the US. It is complicated slightly as everything is priced in litres here now. A friend said that in Dubai the cost of fuel is only 10p a litre (we are paying about 115p a litre here at the moment). We live in the wrong countries for cheap travel!!

Your message was so funny - it made me laugh to find out that you were kicked out of your house for partying too much! I guess that your mum's actions didn't really have the desired effect as you just moved in with your boyfriend. Believe it or not I actually met my husband at a party - I had drunk far too much and was supposed to be sleeping on the floor of the living room at the house where the party was. My (now husband) was renting a house just around the corner and I invited myself to sleep in his spare room!! I still can't quite believe that I did that at the age of 19. I never did quite tell my parents the truth about meeting him that night LOL Anyway, things just went from there - here we are about 17/18 years later!!

So, how have things been? It was Father's Day here on Sunday. Unfortunately the day didn't go quite as we had planned! We ended up in the casualty department (ER) on Sunday morning. We stayed away at a hotel on Saturday night so that we could visit a big Zoo nearby on Sunday. We were just getting ready to leave the hotel on Sunday morning when my husband said 'hey, what's happened to my knee?' - it had a huge swelling just below the kneecap. Consequently we had to go to the nearest hospital and spent two hours there while he got examined and x-rayed. Thankfully it wasn't anything too serious - something called bursitis which is swelling caused by a fluid sac behind the knee bursting. But sadly we didn't manage the zoo trip! It wasn't quite what my husband was hoping for on Father's Day!! We did manage to salvage the day a bit by going out for a nice meal in the evening....we will plan for the zoo trip later in the summer! He had a few nice presents too that the girls had helped me sort out for him, so he wasn't too miserable!! I hope that your Father's day turned out to be less stressful!!

Thanks very much for the update with the political situation - it's much more interesting than hearing about politics in the UK. It sounds much more dramatic somehow when it is another country. The news today has just been full of more of the same - inflation at an 11 year all time high, interest rates up, the price of fuel.....

You have very sound, well thought out views about life. You should really be a politician yourself. You would do a much better job than a lot of the government here. Reading what you say about the democratic/republican parties I guess I would fall on the side of the democrats. I feel my views are pretty similar to yours. I didn't realise that it wouldn't be until November that you would have a general election - I thought that was what had been taking place now. Just think by then our babies will probably be about a month old!

I have a confession - I don't do any computer programming My job is far less technical - it is more of an administrative role. I work with people (staff and students) rather than code. I cannot imagine writing computer programs. I think I would fall asleep! My husband does do though - he worked for a while as a software engineer, and still does some programming now. He can sit for hours in front of a PC typing all these weird lines of code which don't look like they will do anything at all!! Then he will demonstrate the most fantastic website or database system.

I am glad that you had a good time for Ava's 5th birthday. Kate will be 5 in October. I am not sure what to do about the girls birthdays this year. They are both so close to the baby being due I don't know whether to risk booking a party for them or not. They have always had some kind of party with their friends each year, so I don't think it will matter too much if they don't have one this year. So many things to figure out over the next few months!!

I can understand you wanting to spoil your daughters. We went without a lot of material things as children as my mum didn't work and there were 4 of us to pay for. My dad earned a reasonable amount of money but he liked to save and invest as much as he could. He gave mum money for 'housekeeping' but the rest was his, or for savings. I know it was pretty tough for mum at times and she did well with only a small amount of income. I think this is part of the reason why I like to have some kind of income of my own. Originally when we planned to have a family I thought I would just give up work and have children. But after 6 months of being at home with Bethan I got my part time job and I am pleased to have the extra money. I spoil my two children a bit too, although they are quite restrained about 'asking' for things. I just like them to have nice clothes to wear and good presents for their birthdays and christmas. I have been making a bit more of an effort recently to try and educate them about how much things actually cost. I think our budget will be stretched much further with a 3rd baby, so I am hoping they will be understanding if what they get becomes a little less!

Wow, I feel I have done a lot of 'talking' - I hope you haven't fallen asleep by this point! It is just after 11pm now so I had better go and speak to my husband as I haven't seen him very much today!! I hope you and your family are all well. Valerie


lauzjo - Friday, 13 June
yeah i have started getting a bit puffy to specially in the morning. hope your feeling ok and enjoying being pregnant.


ladybugang - Monday, 9 June
I'm with you too. I am miserable from the heartburn and i waddle from being short and puggie. Plus I never see my man either cause he is working two jobs right now plus i am working too. We are having alot stress also and it sucks. I think some of mine is cause i'm alone alot.


danahlovesdoug - Monday, 9 June
Lol I just got done reading your comment yes how are any of us "comfortably" pregnant. Im with you its freaking miserable! I to also feel lonley all the time (even with the 7 and 4 yr old) my husband is ALWAYS at work he's a tow truck driver. Im lucky if I see him for even 3 hours in a day! I feel your pain girl. I guess all we can do is talk to our fellow preggos and make the best of it right?


moxey22 - Monday, 9 June
thank you for answerin


daniandbebe08 - Saturday, 7 June
Oh I beleive it, we barely go out as is now that we have Lucas and I conned my mom for babysitting him one night so DH and can go out of town and do some sighseeing at the ocean. Should be nice, but DH is also busy with working on an addition to our home because of a baby on the way LOL


sparklyval - Friday, 6 June
Hello!
Shame - I missed Jon Bon Jovi on TV. I will have to keep a look out to see if it ever makes it on to TV again! I will keep you posted if I ever plan a trip to visit NJ (LOL). Not sure I will ever be able to either afford it or convince my husband that it is worth the money to visit, but who knows! I have lots of 'things I must do when I retire', so perhaps that will be one of them!!

I had a look at some pictures of the Sprint Center. It looks like an amazing building - really modern. The other places nearby look to be very modern buildings too. It reminds me of the city area in London. It must be quite a vibrant place to work.

You have 4 older brothers and sisters - wow! I think big families are great, just not sure that I could manage to look after so many children myself!! Do you think you will stop at 3 or would you and your husband like to increase your number further? Its so sweet that you met the love of your life when you were 18 and that you have been together since. I can understand you wanting to study locally. I think that the trend in the UK for Higher Education will definitely go that way...I don't see how students will afford it otherwise. I will be encouraging my kids to stay nearby if they want to take a degree. By the way, do your brothers and sisters still live fairly close by?

I was 19 when I met Antony. I was studying for my degree at the time. He is 5 years older than me and was already working. We met at a housewarming party of a mutual friend and just hit it off straight away. He proposed to me 3 months after I met him, much to the shock and horror of my parents. We got married 18 months after meeting - again there was much disapproval from my family as I got married on my 21st birthday, 10 days after graduating from Uni. Its hard to believe that all of that happened 16 years ago now!!!

I have been catching up on American politics a little bit as I felt ashamed by my lack of knowelge My husband was very impressed when I mentioned to you how knowledgeable you are about UK politics. He was amazed that you had heard of Gordon Brown! He is much more up-to-date with current affairs and takes a very keen interest in the news. Much as I feel embarassed by my lack of knowledge I think it just demonstrates who has the most spare time for watching/listening to the news (LOL!) He reads up on a lot of news stories on the Internet during his lunch hour at work.

Anyway, it looks as though Obama has won the democratic vote, if I have been reading the right information! So, I am presuming that you will be pleased. It would be quite a major turning point in American politics to have a black president. What happens next? Has he been elected to president already or is there another stage in the process - see, this is where my lack of knowledge shows!

I have been busy baking cakes this week as well as everything else as I am helping at our local school summer fair on Saturday. I offered to help on the cake stall (seemed like the best place to be LOL)! I will have to have a good breakfast so that I am not tempted to eat more than I sell! I baked some extra ones so the girls were happy tonight!

Its going to be a busy weekend with the summer fair tomorrow and then I am at work on Sunday. The University term has broken up now so thankfully work isn't as busy as it was, but I seem to have quite a lot of things to tie up before I finish in 6-7 weeks. I must admit I am looking forward to the school term finishing and my holidays starting!!

I hope you are having a good week, well I should rephrase that and wish you a happy weekend as it is almost the weekend (AGAIN!!)

Take care, love Valerie x


daniandbebe08 - Friday, 6 June
Haha it sounds alot like us when we drink too.. Except I find somthing to throw at him, a few times it was a wine bottle, another time a pot, with the pot i kinda missed and it went right into the wall and stuck out nice and straight, That really made the fight stop and i was on the floor pissing my pants off. I used to have the big temper when I would throw whatever I find nearest and he would always just try to duck, its kinda funny looking back at the stupid fights you do have, we havent had a fight in a long time, just a bit of bickering but what couple doesnt bicker LOL

I find my DS very moody as well, if he doesnt get his way he makes fists and screams, and hes only 14 months old! HAHA it is definatly a male thing, cause im not usually like that, HEHE


wake77 - Friday, 6 June
i am with you on being angry, im yelling and snappin at evryone and its pretty bad, im gladi m not the only one,


daniandbebe08 - Friday, 6 June
you the simplest things you think get you triggered and GOOD too!

I still remember most of the fights with DH and it was because I would BLOW up over nothing. I even got to the point where I scared the crap out of myself. I literally (in front of guests I might add) gave DH my wedding rings, told him off, and told him to give the rings to his next victim. I also left for a few hours! Now its all a joke towards us but if he were to joke about it when I was pregnant with DS I would have flipped.
A friend of mind got mad at her BF because he wouldnt answer his cell phone when he was at work, so she threw ALL of his stuff over the balcony of their appartment, she was on bed rest too! And what do you know, she had a baby boy. Its amazing what differences with the type of gender. Alot of people dont agree but even my DH told my friends that I am WAY easier to cope with this pregnancy! LOL

Youll get the hang of it, and dont feel bad over the hormones... Just make sure your girls are aware that mom isnt always the nasty person that they have been seeing lately


daniandbebe08 - Thursday, 5 June
With my last pregnancy I was the same way, I snaped at EVERYTHING and it took me a while to get over the little things. there is no control in what you can do, maybe try and take things extra slow so things dont get you to the point of no return.... Are you expecting a boy or girl? I heard with girls you get pretty crabby, but that is not the case with me and a few of my friends, We all find that we got VERY crabby when we are pregnant with boys. Im pregnant with a girl now and so far Im not even CLOSE to what I was like before! *sigh in releif* I hope all the best and hope you find a happy spoit somewhere, maybe talk to your girls and try to make them understand mommy isnt the same mommy right now, It would be hard for the youngest but at least you can try to express it a different way wit her by showing her mommy can be nice too :)


KarenVG - Thursday, 5 June
I am with you with thinking I need anger management! Just hang in there and keep saying sorry to the girls! It is supriseing how quick the anger comes over such stupid stuff...I wonder if my kids are going to need therapy after this pregnancy is over!!!!!LOL


preciousangels2 - Tuesday, 3 June
Thanks a ton because I'm dyng over here! Just about 39wks pregnant and CAN NOT stand this heat! And it's that time of the year when most places have a waiting list. I remember when I hit the 21wk point. Seems like it was just yesterday! Anyway, thanks again! I'll remember the mention that when the call me back. Hopefully they call soon!


Navy0Wife - Tuesday, 3 June
I am the same way with the water. I have been adding crystal light lemonade or drinking decaf tea or Propel. Weird, right?


KellysBabyBelly - Tuesday, 3 June
I have had problems drinking water too. For some reason I can drink semi cold water like out of the tap, but not cold water out of the fridge. Since I haven't been drinking as much water my belly has felt "dehydrated" and zits are popping up everywhere on my face.


sparklyval - Monday, 2 June
Hello! Oh yes, I am SOO excited about the forthcoming Bon Jovi concert. I have been a big fan of theirs since I was 15 - so, over 20 years. Now that sounds scary! Its a shame that you didn't get to see them when they played locally, they always put on such an amazing show! I have been lucky enough to see them play every couple of years or so - normally I manage to get to one of their tour dates each time they visit the UK. My friends think I am crazy! Especially as I would like to visit the band's roots in New Jersey - people keep telling me that NJ is not high on the tourist destination list for the States! Oh well, I don't mind being different!!

You have got great qualifications from your time at Uni. Is it usual to study locally when you take a degree in America or do most people move away from home? We have very few local students in Lincoln. Almost all the students in the UK leave home and take up residence in a different city to study for their degree. That was true of me also - I left home at 18 and studied at Hull University (about 4 hours by car from my home town), and then after working for a couple of years I took an MSc in Information Management at Sheffield University (about 3 1/2 hours from my home town). Leaving home to study was a good way of becoming independent very quickly! Unfortunately the cost of studying at University in the UK has risen dramatically over recent years and so I wonder whether in the future more students will choose to study in their home city?

I totally agree with you about global inter-reliance and connection between countries. I think that is even more the case in the UK as we are a small densely populated island. I worry about the future our children are going to have and their children ahead of them. I think they will find that life is much different than the kind of life we have. I try not to dwell on the future too much as it makes me feel a bit depressed. I just hope that things will change for the better over time.
At the moment we seem to be on the brink of a major recession. We have seen, like in the US, major falls in house prices, turmoil in the financial markets and massive increases in the cost of petrol, gas and electricity. I honestly think that this is just the start of much worse. As fuel prices increase, transport and distrbution costs will rise, and then the cost of buying goods from the shops will go up too... and that is just scratching the surface! I am glad I don't work in politics as I get far too emotionally involved to be able to think rationally about sensible solutions.

Anyway, on a more positive note, I am feeling good, although very huge these days! I keep wondering how big I am going to get after another 4 months of pregnancy! I feel and probably look like a big beach ball! It also amazes me that there are only about 18 weeks left before the baby is due...that is scary!

How are you and how was your weekend? I hope you are feeling well. Valerie


sparklyval - Friday, 30 May
Fireworks in May - that sounds exciting! I bet your little baby jumped! They are quite loud, although I wonder what things sound like from inside - you would imagine that everything is a bit muffled, so perhaps they weren't too bad! I am due to go and see Bon Jovi in concert soon (22nd June) - I am so excited! (I know, like a sad teenager!). I am sure the loud music will make the baby jump, so I have been listening to BJ loudly at home in preparation (any excuse is a good one!)

Its great that you were able to give away some of your girls things to the family near you. It is always so much better to think that things have gone to a good home - I am sure that they will appreciate the help. I bet the children were delighted with the princess dresses too, you are very kind! Our loft is bulging with the strain of 8 years accumulated girls clothes - this baby will have plenty of things to wear, for sure!

Politics isn't a strong point with me. My husband tells me off for not paying enough attention to the news. I can go for days or even a whole week without listening to the news or watching it, so I kind of lose track of what is going on in our country let alone anywhere else. You will have to forgive me for being so ignorant! Sounds terrible doesn't it! Most of the time the news just makes me feel depressed when I do catch up with it! I don't care much for any of the politicians. I am very disillusioned with the current labour party in the UK. They made a drastic change to the way that income tax is calculated by getting rid of a lower tax band at 10% and reducing the basic rate of tax. The net result of that is that the people in this country on the lowest incomes are now worse off (including me because I work part time) while the highest earners have seen an increase in their wages. So, I have witnessed my full time colleagues receiving an increase in their pay through taxation, while my money has been reduced. I am consequently feeling quite grumpy with the party and think I will write a letter of complaint to my local MP. No, I don't like Gordon Brown. I did like Tony Blair though, especially in the early years when labour first took power. I don't really care for the opposition leaders either at the moment. I think we will be due for an election in a couple of years time - at the moment I would struggle to know which party to vote for! Sorry for going off on one!

Where did you study your degree? I always find it interesting to discover what people have studied and whether it has had an impact on their career.

Well, I had better dash as I need to go and pick up my daughter from nursery and my husband will be waiting soon! I hope you have a good weekend. It is amazing how quickly the week goes past and before I know it I am saying the same thing again! Hope you are ok
Valerie x


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