More....

So, hopefully I am not jinxing this pregnancy too, but I thought I needed to tell someone that I am pregnant before others say you "should." I, in fact, just found out today that I am currently 3-5/7 weeks pregnant with hopefully my first child. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10-1/2 weeks...tears. After waiting the doctor-recommended 2 months to start trying, it took us 5 more months to conceive......apparently all it took was a much needed vacation :-) What happens in Taiwan stays in Taiwan. Congrats to all you other mommas to be out there!!!!

Only Day1, but already having fears and doubts. Silly I know, the test was positive yesterday. My previous pregnancy symptoms with the miscarriage were sore BBs, having to pee ALL the time, and acne. This time, I am extremely tired, no acne, slight cramping initially (like AF was coming) but that has gone away for the most part, sore BBs which seems to have lessened today (thus the fear), and again having to pee more frequently. I am hoping my fears are unjustified.....only time will tell.

Well, my fears were justified....Called the doc this morning, waiting to hear back. I knew something wasn't quite right. I tested last night when I got home from work, and though the line was darker than the day before, as I used the toilet, there it was plain as day....tears. More cramping and tears last night. I tested again this morning......line is starting to fade....what's next? Back to the TTC pool, I guess.

So, maybe I jumped the gun a little. I haven't had any more spotting than just that day, and I am still testing positive 5 days later, morning and night. I had hCG levels drawn Monday and will find out tomorrow where I am sitting. Then, Thursday they will draw again to make sure they are going up. If they are, we will have an ultrasound next week to hopefully confirm there is a little beaner in there. Prayers and baby dust please!!!! I can't handle losing another baby.

I guess I did jump the gun, happy to say. I got my first HCG level drawn on Monday, 2/25, about 16 dpo, and I was told they were low at 286. My second draw exactly 72 hours later is......931 TRIPLED!!!!!! I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear those results. My husband is still cautiously excited, as he should be. What sucks about a miscarriage for the first pregnancy is how it taints the rest of the pregnancies that follow. You can never again regain that excitement of knowing for the first time that you are going to be parents. Maybe the excitement will return when he gets to feel it kick for the first time!!!

Since the hCG draws, we have had two ultrasounds. The first one was at 6 weeks 2 days because of a scare with a bit of off-colored discharged.....more light brown/nude than red. Anywhoo, the heartbeat was 122 at that visit, and the bub measured 6 weeks 2 days, on the money. Our second scan was today, and let me tell you WHAT A RELIEF!!!! I know we aren't out of the clouds yet, but to see that flicker of a heart going a million miles an hour and the ultrasound tech actually calling my baby "cute" was the greatest feeling on Earth!!!! The heartbeat was 180 today and measured right on for dates again at 8 weeks 2 days. November 1, HERE WE COME!!!!!

An update since my last post on this profile, as it has been quite a while.....I now have a 11-month-old, almost walking, babbling, drooling, sleeping through the night, drama queen named Lily Anne. She is the light of our eyes and amazes us daily. She was born 5 days overdue after 2 separate weeks of induction with a 70% chance of having a C-section. She finally came after 27 minutes of pushing and weighed in at 8 pounds 13.5 ounces and was 22 inches long. She has stayed healthy and happy, and for that we are grateful. I pray our next pregnancy, whenever that may be, ends up with as wonderful results and as stress free as my pregnancy with Lily. To all you moms in the TTC group...my thoughts and prayers are with you. I truly know the agonizing pain of loss and the overwhelming need to fill that void. There is a lot to be said for positive thinking and staying as stress free as possible. I appreciate this site for the normalcy it has allowed me to feel as a first-time mom, mom who has lossed a baby, and a mom who struggled with trying to conceive. Baby dust to you all!!!