Hello My name is Samantha and I am 24 yrs. I had the mirena IUD put in right after I had my son (who is now 5.) In Feb of this year I decided I wanted to have another baby so I researched on how the IUD was removed. I found out that I could just pull it out, which I thought would save me a lot of money. So in March I squatted down found the strings and tugged gently and sure enough it came out! I wish I would have known then what was going to happen in the months to come. The next few days I was in a haze. I guess it was my body getting back to normal after 4 years of having an IUD in place. 2 weeks later ( which would have been march 27th)I had 5 days of bleeding, no cramps, no clots, so I thought hmm, not quite my regular periods I had remembered from before I had an IUD but o.k. I read everything there was to read about temping, cervical mucus, cervical positioning, etc. But my temps were all over the place, my mucus stayed the same through out the entire month, sticky and white. But we still tried. Then next "period" came on April 24th, 3 days of bleeding- not heavy enough to soak a tampon, still no cramping. But this time right before it ended I did have a small amount of clotting or tissue, but very small, maybe just one piece. So I thought o.k. I didn't get preggers. Then on the 29th of April I had an extra pregnancy test so i thought what the heck I will use it get it over with and start fresh. Why I did it at that time I don't know. It was positive! I remember it was one of those positive sign ones and it came up fairly soon after I did it. I was so happy! But I wasn't feeling any symptoms. With my son I would wake up early in the morning very hungry. So I knew something was wrong. I went to planned parent hood and tested positive. So I had decided I was going to wait until I saw my doctor to make sure everything was o.k. before I told anyone. I was so excited I passed by a box of pregnancy tests on sale at the store and thought what the heck, I just like to see them come up positive so I got a box of 2. I took the first one and I waited and waited and finally after the ten minute mark I began to see a faint line. Then after 30 minutes it was definitly positive. But it took so long. It didn't pop up after 3 minutes like it said it would. Then the next morning using my morning urine I did the test again. This time it was negative, no positive what so ever. So I threw it in the box and put it in a drawer until I could throw it away with out it being seen. I was hart broken. I didn't know what to think. Then about an hour later I took it out of the box and it was definitly positive. I was really worried after that that something wasn't quite right. I knew there was something wrong because I wasn't having any preg symptoms at all. No breast tenderness, nothing. I decided to go to the emergancy room because it was going to be 2 weeks before my doctor could get me in and I really needed to know if the baby was alright. So, I complained of some minor pain on my left side and explained that I had 4 positive tests but no symptoms. They did and hcg and it came back at 67. Now mind you I had had a positive pregnancy test a week earlier, so I knew something couldn't be right if it was suppost to double every 24 to 48 hours. They did an ultrasound right there and told me that this was either a very very early pregnancy or something was wrong. This was on a Monday so the rest of the week was hell! I had to retest every two days. So on Wednesday my count was at 84 I thought Yes it went up great! Wrong! I had also had an ultra sound done that day. They found I had a cyst on my right ovary. They said it was fluid filled and probably due to the pregnancy. But they could not find any sign of a baby any where, no yolk sak nothing. They tested my blood flow in my uterus and my tubes. The doctor said they couldn't see blood flow going to anything that looked like an implanted embryo and the flow in my tubes looked fine. So where was the baby? (I still ask myself that.) Then on friday I went in and the doctor asked me if this was a wanted pregnancy. I said "Of course!" She told me if it wasn't they would just give me the "shot," and that would take care of it. The shot? What is the shot? It sounded like something I didn't want to even think about. And that was the first time I had heard about Methotrexate. She explained to me what it did and what would happen. Then she gave me the option of one more hcg test to make sure. So I did the test again. This time it was 74. So I knew what had to be done. My husband went with me to have the the shot done. I was a wreck. I wanted to have another baby so bad. I kept saying it's all my fault because I pulled the IUD out myself and now, some how, I am being punished for it. I had read about some kind of pills you insert vaginally after four days to help you start to pass any tissue. But They said they didn't do that. So On the 7th day after the injection I tested my level again. This time it was at 48. Then a week later it was 49. So they called and said I would need another shot ASAP. I couldn't get over to have the second injection for two days because of work. But the day after they called to tell me to come in for the second injection. I began to bleed. That was 2 weeks after the initial injection. I bled for 5 days. But the interesting thing was it was 28 days to the day from the last period, or what ever it was.I started bleeding on the 24th of April and then started bleeding again on the 21st of May. I think it was my period returning. But the doctor wanted to do an injection again any way. So 1 week after the second injection, my level went down to 2 I think that's o.k. but I have an appointment in the morning to find out just what the Doc thinks. My question is what do you all think of this? Could I have just had a chemical pregnancy since I had bleeding exactly 28 days since the last time I started bleeding. Could I have gotten pregnant but the baby couldn't attach because my uterine lining was to thin due to having the IUD in for four years. I know that's how iuds work by not letting your uterine lining build up. Or did I really have an ectopic that was either in the tube or in the ovary and that was really what the cyst was? I don't know If my cyst has gone down yet because I have not had an ultrasound since the initial one. How long should I wait to try again. On June 13th it will have been 2 weeks since my last shot. I understand that Methotrexate stays in your body for 4 to 6 weeks. I am waiting for the 18 of June. If my period comes then I will know I have already been through one cycle I will then wait one more cycle which would be July 16th, after that we can stop using birth control and hopefully try again. But if my period doesn't come like it should on the 18th then I guess I will have to wait two cycles from when this period starts. What would you guys do? Does that sound like enough time to wait? Also I wonder what exactly are the long term effects of an IUD are. How many women have ectopic pregnancies after removal of an IUD? Or have something similar to what I had. My doctor said he didn't think it was a chemical pregnancy because my levels didn't drop right away. I don't know I just wish I knew what happened and if there is any way to prevent it. But probably not.

June 21st

AF came and I was very happy at first. But then as the day went on I noticed it wasn't very heavy at all. It is red "new blood" not just brownish old blood and this time I am having cramps which is making me feel normal again. I kinda like the feeling right now and I caught myself even not wanting to take any aspirin to relieve the pain. I have had cramps or AF in 5 years. I know that probably sounds funny but I guess it's my only feeling of normal I have had yet. I checked up on the difference between spotting and light periods. I think it is definitely a light period because it is always there just light. I really want to try again this month, but if anyone thinks I should wait it out another month I will probably take their advice. I do know the mirena IUD is great if you don't plan to have kids. I used to recommend it all the time. But now that I have gone through this and I just can't seem to get back to normal, I wouldn't recommend it. I just think maybe my light periods have something to do with what happened. I just hope it hasn't done anything permanent. I have also decided not to temp or take any kind of baby aspirin or evening primrose or anything like that. Just my prenatals. I also have read on a website that even if your uterine lining is thin you can still get pregnant and it will attache properly in the uterus because once you are pregnant your hormones kick in to thicken the lining. Does anyone know anything about this?

June 24th

Well no sign of afso I guess it is done. 3 days hmm I really don't think that is good. I wish it would have been more like 5 but oh well!!

July 5th

I have been having some pain on my right side. Sort of by where my pelvic bone is. I am afraid it is my cyst. It isn't to bad but I always know it's there. I tried to get in early with the new doc but they said no can do and that if I was in enough pain I should go to the ER. Well you all know even with insurance how expensive that is! So I am going to try to wait it out another week. If any one has had a cyst please let me know I would love to compare symptoms. Also I have been taking an opk just because I wanted to see exactly when I ovulate. But the problem is for the last five days it has had two lines but never a positive. The test line is faint but definitely ( sp) there but the control line is much darker. I took a preg test just to make sure and it was neg. Thank God. I was suppost to ovulate today but the test hasn't shown any change. Darker or lighter. I am worried about this pain though. I did have a change in cm just a little one. I had a small amount of ewcm but not much. Today it is kinda stick and the color of lotion. Has any one been through anything like this?

July 6

Well today I got in with my regular doctor and I explained my symptoms. She did a urinalysis, a pap that included std testing and she will send me for an u/s on Monday. I am not worried about the std test although they say you can catch stds from public restrooms. Yuk! Anyway I am so nervous about my u/s. I have been having quite a bit of pain on my right side. especially when I stand and walk. I am so afraid they are going to in some way say I am infertile. That I am forever doomed to have an ectopic. At least I got pregnant. I know so many females have trouble even getting that far. I am so thankful for that. But what am I going to do if I have another ectopic it is just so hard. What if I have to have more injections of methotrexate. That would be so devastating. I know, i would pick up and move on just like I did with the other one, but still I am so afraid.

July 8th

I am so afraid it might be a twisted ovary or I am bleeding inside or something out tomorrow. that they will have to do surgery on. The pain is what scares me the most. With this much pain I know something has to be wrong. I will let you know as soon as I find

July 9th

Well I went in today for my u/s and the tech wasn't the most helpful person. When I had my u/s for my ectopic that lady was pointing out stuff showed me right where my cyst was and was very helpful. But this lady told me that she couldn't tell me anything because she wasn't a doctor. She did tell me she didn't see any cysts on either ovary. But I am not getting my hopes up to high yet. When I got home my regular doc (whom I had seen on the 6th) was on the answering machine and she wanted me to call her back. Well I erased it before I heard when she called. I returned her call but she ever did call me back again. I am not sure what she wants but I think it is kinda odd that she would call me herself. I will keep you posted!

July 10 thhttp://img112.imageshack.us/img112/2259/dscn0098es1.jpg

My doc called me today to let me know the u/s showed my cyst was gone. and although I did have fluid in my abdomen that every thing looked good. They let me take the cd of the ultra sound home and I was looking at one picture that said, " Endo, .39 cm" Well I think that means my linning. And if I translate that it is 3.9 mm which I know they like to see linnings at 7 mm so my linning maybe to thin and that will be a problem. I asked the doctor what she thought and she said because she is only my primary care she doesn't know if that measurement is good or bad. I will have to wait until I go see this new obgyn on the 17th.

July 11th

I had some white chunky fluid and it was gritty, as weird as it sounds it was actually gritty. I am worried that I have an infection. I also noticed my cervix is very tight and hard. I don't know if that means anything.

July 16th

My temps have been weird I test in the morning they are at 98- something. Then I test in the afternoon and they are 100.00. I know, I know my temp goes up during the day. So the morning temp is accurate. I can tell from just that that I am not preggers this month. But this month really wasn't the month anyway. I go to the new doc tomorrow hopefully she will give me something to strengthen my linning or test my hormones. Anything to help things along. But probably not she is going to say just wait it out like every other doc has told me. But what if I don't get back to normal. What if my hormones don't fix themselves naturally. I know what your thinking, your young you have lots of time for another one. But you also know how it feels to want a little one now.

July 17th

Well today is the day i have been crossing off the calendar for. I get to go to the new doc. I hope she will do some sort of hormone test or something to strengthen my linning. My husband is a truck driver and so he is set to leave on the 24th of Aug. He will be gone for quite awhile so this is my last chance this year. I don't know what else to think of doing. I just hope she helps me out in some way!

July20th

So I went to the doc. She is very nice. She is actually a midwife. But they said there wasn't much of a difference. Anyway, she told me she felt I was anovulatory. I said, but I had an ectopic so got pregnant and that must mean I am ovulating. She said I could be ovulating speratically. She gave me a prescription for metformin and I went and had it filled. She said she was going to call me back when she looked at my U/S results. She called me back the next day and told me not to take the metformin which I had already filled so know I am stuck with a bottle of something I am not going to use. But she told me she wanted me to go get the die test done on my tubes. So I will go have that done on Friday. I also have to take a blood test on cycle day 21 to test my progesterone. We did do a complete blood panel and half of the results came back. All the basics like cholesterol my lipids diabetes test all came back good. My LH and FSH came back what it should be for being a day before I start AF. Now I just have to wait until next week for the test. I am really nervous. She said it was going to be uncomfortable, which I know that's a nice way of say it's going to hurt. She gave me two different prescriptions one for an antibiotic and the other for a pain reliever. I was reading about the procedure and it says some womenget pregnant after this procedure because it flushes out the tubes. So I don't know we'll just have to see I guess.Af started yesturday. At first it was brown and spotty but I woke up this mornng and I had stained the sheet. So I hope my flow is getting heavier. I also hope it flows like this for at least three days. I am going to try to go get a fertility monitor today. I had noticed at this childrens resale clothing store the had a few but that was a year or so ago so I don't know if they have anymore But I thought if I could buy the machine then I could just go to walgreens and by the test strips that should save me some money because those machines are expensive.Well lots of baby dust to everyone!

July 28th

This is crazy. It's almost like I am in a dream, like I am going to wake up and be perfectly normal and healthy like I thought I was. I went and had the HSG done. DH went with me and he was great. He helped me throught the pain. The HSG procedure is very painfull. Especially when they put the ballon inside and then the dye. I found out my right tube has severe scarring and is blocked. My left tube is also scared but open. I had read that IUDS can cause bacterial infections in the uterus that travels up the uterus and into the tubes. This causes scarring. I am so sad right now. I fell thisis something that could have been prevented. If only I hadn't had an IUD. I am only 24 I can't believe this is happening. I know my left tube is open but the problem is the right tube must be open just enough for sperm to get in and fertilize the egg but not enough for the egg to go downthe tube. So if I bd and I ovulate on that side I will have another ectopic. Thats to say I am even ovulating. I bought an digital ovulation monitor. The sucky thing was I didn't get it until yesturday which meant I was in cycle day 9 and with those things you have to start them on day 1 through day 5 of af. I of course started on day 9 but I set it for day 5. So as far as the machine was concerned I am on day 6 today. The machine has day six as the first day of testing, so I was able to do a test today. It said low level of fertility. So we will see in the next few days what my ovulation does. I probably won't hear from the doc before weds of next week. But I hope she will do a U/S right around the time I ovulate to tell me which side I am ovulating on this month.

July 31st

I am happy today for the first time in along time. I had used my ov monitor for the past few days and it was staying the same. I was starting to get really frustrated. But this morning it changed!! YAH. I know that isn't much, but its big to me. Anyway I hope it will change again in the next few days. The doc called me back and said everything came back normal an the basic tests I had taken at the begining of the month. Progresterone is right where it should be. I won't get my results back from my hsg or my u/s till thurs or fri. But when I called the nurse yesterday to tell her the results of my hsg she told me they would be sending me to an infertility specialist. I have an appointment with her on the 20th of Aug. But I am not sure what my insurance will pay for. I have the best insurance plan my company offers but still I have had problems with them in the past. And with the way things are going.... Anyway I have this dilemma. My right tube is blocked but I don't know just how much. And I don't know which side I am ov on this month. I will ask doc when I talk to her if I can do a u/s to see which side. But it really doesn't matter because I will have BDed anyway. I had asked the nurse on monday if that might be something I could do in the next few days but she said oh you don't ovulate every other side. That didn't help much but whatever. So I am going to try it.

August 1st

The months are going by. I took my opk again today and it was in the middle stage. That is good because it didn't go down to the infertile stage. Hopefully tomorrow will be my most fertile with the egg sign but if not it will be ok because it might come friday. If I haven't seen it by sat I will know I didn't ov this month. But hopefully I pray!!

August 2nd

My fertility is still at the middle range. I am having a lot of pain on my right side.

August 3rd

Yay!! I tested this morning and my peak fertility came up!!!!! I am happy but nervous to be let down again. I had been taking evening primrose but I will stop today because I have read you should only take it from AF to OV. I haven't had much mucus at all, so maybe that won't help. When I had my son my last af was on July 18th of 2001. This month my last af was on July 19th so that would be kinda weird if they where close together in birthdays. Now it's going to be another long two weeks! I am still having that pain on my right side. Thats just my luck. My left ovary doesn't work but my right tube is blocked! That would just be my luck!!

August 4th

My monitor also showed peak fertility this morning.

August 8th

Well a lot has gone on since my last entry. My monitor has quit asking me to test so I guess it is done for the month. I took my 21 day test today. i figure I won't bother them for the results till friday. I took my temp today and it was 99.5 so thats pretty much a give away that I didn't get preggers this month. When I was pregers with my son it would stay around 101.0. So I know something is wrong. My husband is leaving in 2 weeks and my little one starts kindergarten on monday. So it is a stressfull time right anyway much less having to think about not being able to get pregnant. I might breakdown and call her in the afternoon tomorrow but I don't want to set myself up for another let down!

August 9th

my progesterone levels where at 8.6. So I am thinking about getting some progesterone cream.

August 16th

AF came today

August 18th

AF is great today! (If I can say that!) It is flowing like it used to and has grat color!

August 20th

Well I only had 1 day of good flow but AF lasted four days so I guess thats ok! Today I go to the fertility specialist. But Last week my doc finaly called to consult me about all of my tests. She told me I shouldn't see a fert. spec. until i have ben trying for a year with no luck. I told her her nurse had told me to make an appointment with the spec. And she said to cancel. Well I thought about it and i am going anyway I already have the appointment and whats the worst they can do? Just tell me to come back in 6 months. I have also been taking Vitex so hopefully it will help. i really don't know why I didn't get preggers last cycle. I did everything I did when I had my son. I don't know. speaking of my son. He has started kindergarten. I don't really care for his teacher so I don't know how that is going to go over. And we have already had some issues. Like He had asked her to go potty and she said no so he pooped in his pants. Which is totally unlike him. He said he had to go really bad . So I am going this morning to talk to her.I will let you know how everythin goes! Babydust to everyone!

So I just ot back from the specialists. I am very happy with my visit as far answering (sp) my questions. He said he wasn't to worried about my temps and my mucus or what my periods where like. He said as long as they are coming every 28 days and I am having a serge on day 14 or 15 that was great. I asked him about my progesterone and he said that they don't even test for that. He said that is kinda something that gynos are taught to test for so they do it. But that I would probably need to test about 5 times to get my avarage. He said he didn't see any reason why I couldn't get pregggers and I would only have about a 20% chance of an ectopic again. He also said he really felt that if I did get preggers again it would be a uterine preg. But he did want to test me for PCOS he did an ultra sound and I do have quite a few follicles on my left side. I asked him if I was ovulating on my left and he said most likely. That is good because my left tube is clear so I would also have a good chance of concieving. So as far as the PCOS I have to do some blood work (again!!) and he aslo wants me to go on the low carb diet to help regulate my insuline. He said if I do have PCOS it feeds of my insuline. He wants me to come in between day 5 and day 12 of my next cycle, because he wants to put a camera in my uterus to see what it looks like. He said I could do it now because I am on day 5 but I couldn't try to get preggers this month. So I will do it next month because my husband will be gone around the 1st of sept. Thats right after I ov for this cycle. So one more month of trying! I have been taking my vitex.

August 25th

I hope that my monitor says high fertility soon because today is already day 10 and it hasn't moved passed low so I am nervous!

August 27th

Bad news. My monitor showed low fertility again today. Only 3 more days til I am suppost to ov. So I'm probably not ovulating.I should be in the middle range by now. Which makes so sad! :(

O.K. I just looked at the dates. I am going to put this in so I don't forget. From my notes I got my monitor on the 27th of july which was cycle day 9. But I did not write in when af came so I think it was on 19th? But I know af started on the 16th of this month so that sounds wrong. But anyway I will figure that out later. Now I first tested high on day thirteen so I had originally counted wrong. Today is day twelve, tomorrow is thirteen. So I am not so sad but we will see. Doc also said he thought I was ripening on the left side. :)

August 28th

Well, low fertility again today. I really don't know what is wrong. I thought maybe the vitex has something to do with it. But probably not.

August 29th

Yay taday I had a high fertility reading!

August 30th

High fertility gain today.

September 1st

Well I guess I did not ov this month. It is day 17 and I still havn't seen peak.

October 5th

I am not sure what happened but my whole month of september isn't here! There was a lot of info. This is really weird. I will fill in some of what I remember. I didn't get a peak last cycle but I did confirm that ov through a blood test that was progest 7.1. On the 20th I went and had a hystoscopy done and He said it couldn't of looked better. My next af was on the 12th and it was ok still only three days. I did get my peak on the fourteenth day and one day of high on the thirteenth day. I thought for sure this was going to be it. My temps are at 98.6 this morning so that right there tells me I am not preggers. They have to be higher and stay high to be preggers. My cervix is low and tight. I am just so sad right now. I had a dream about my cousin who is on her third baby. She has had all three in the last 5 years the whole time I have wanted a sibling for my son she has been poping them out. It isn't about me wanting to have a baby anymore. I want my son to have a sibling. He always asks when is he going to have a brother or a sister and it breaks my heart. I know he sees all the other kids in his class having siblings. It has been 6 months since my ectopic. It only took me basically 2 months after my iud was pulled to get pregnant. I just don't understand what am I doing wrong. What did I do or not do???? I peaked this cycle so we bded before and after. But then I read about ladies who just bded once around peak and it worked for them. I am so sad. Everyone around me is either preggers or just had a baby. I keep thinking just wait a few more monthe then they will either have had their babies or their babies won't be babies anymore and it will be easier to handle. It is so hard to see other people achieving this. I don't know what is wrong. My mom said it could be my dh but I really don't think so. I am having to many little things. Like af not being a strong 5 days or not having much cm to speak of. As I type these word it is clear to me, That af and cm have to be stronger that is whats wrong. But I did get pregnant with my ectopic. So they where able to go up. They just couldn't come back down. I have read and talked to so many ladies who said the only way they where able to do it is by not thinking about it any more. So I guess that is what I need to do. I am just torturing myself. This has become an obsession that it taking over my life. It is all I think about. I work hard at it everyday to achieve it. I just need to throw in the towel and admit defeat. I am going to lock up my monitor my testers my thermomitors. I am not going to think about it ( Or try my damndest not to) Not to see if that works, but to make myself realize I am just torturing myself. I am not going to look at any pregnancy sites I am done. I am taking to much time away from my son for something that doesn't seem to be working. I think to myself, "What happens if this doesn't work?" What if my son is 18 and still no sibling. I can't let this take over anymore. I am so sad. I just don't understand what I am doing wrong. Af should come on wednsday of next week. So I wish you all good luck lots of babydust! I will try to check in on every one next time af comes around!