I had a m/c on April 16th. I have changed my profile to TTC. If you would like to read my story before the m/c it is below in small type. For my new story please scroll down and look for update.

March 19^th- I had my first OB appt and u/s today. I was excited to find out if everything was okay. By my calculations based on my LMP I should be around 9 weeks and be due on Oct 20^th. I had the u/s done first. I could see the heart beating and we heard the heartbeat. After the u/s I had my first OB appt. I was expecting the works since it was the first appt. But, when the doctor walks in he said that he did not know how this pregnancy would end up. He asked how sure I was on my LMP. I know for sure that the first day of my last period was January 14^th. He said that based on the u/s the baby is not measuring the right size. The baby is only measuring 7 ½ weeks and the sac is small. The baby is taking up most of the sac already. I asked about the heartbeat that I saw and he did say that the babys heart rate is 180 which is on the high end of normal. Doctor explained that under these conditions he does not know if my illness in February could have caused this or if it just happens. Women who have had the same situation have both miscarried or for some everything goes fine and they end up having healthy pregnancy. I have to go back March 28^th for a second u/s to see if the baby has grown any or if the pregnancy is making progress.

April 2-I received the phone call from the doctor yesterday. He says he is still very concerned and still is not sure how this pregnancy will end up. The baby is growing and we still had a heartbeat on the second u/s which was March 28th. Also, dr. says the sac is still small. But, now he sees some abnormal development in the baby and the baby's belly. He would not explain anything else and is not sure if my illness, medications and test that I had in early Feb. has anything to do with this. He recommended that I see a high risk OB and have a third scan done. The appt. with the high risk OB and the third scan is set up for this afternoon. I am so scared and stressed. I am angry at my other half because I feel like he just doesn’t understand why I am so upset. I hope everything goes okay and I am hoping for good news. I will update once I know something.

April 3-I went to the high risk OB yesterday. The baby is growing and still has a heartbeat of 160. They moved my due date up 2 days wich makes me due Oct 29th. They still do not know if the pregnancy will be vital or I will miscarry. The sac is still small. By the babys measurments, I am 10 weeks but the sac around the baby is measuring smaller than that. I have to go back in two weeks for my 4th u/s to see if the baby and sac are growing and if we still have a heartbeat. This doctor did not se an abnormal development at this time. Which was some what a relief. I am having trouble waiting each day to see if the pregancy continues or if today is the day I will miscarry. I am so stressed out and scared. I struggle with attachment to the baby because I can not help to feel attached but my head keeps telling me to not to get attached since I am not sure how this is going to end up. my other half goes to Doctor appts so far but will not talk about anything and does not understand why I get so upset. I feel alone at times.

April 20- I went to the High Risk OB last Wednesday on the 16th. I found out my baby died. My baby did not have a heart beat anymore. I had no symptoms at all. No bleeding. I had to wait until Friday to have my D&C done. Yet, on Friday I still had no pains or bleeding. I have had a very hard time dealing with this.The hospital that I went to wants me have to a burial. I am trying to figure out the arrangements. I am so hurt and sad. All I do is cry. I thought my risk had went down since I made it to 12 weeks. I was surprised by the news. The morning I received the news I had just bought new clothes to fit my growing belly and now I have to return them all. I miss being pregnant!

Update After M/C

April 28-I decided that I want to TTC. I have my post-op OB appt. tomorrow after my D&C on April 18th. I am still bleeding but the doctor wants to see me anyways. I am hoping everything is ok so that I can TTC soon. I'll keep you updated.

May 2-Dr says everything looks good & I can TTC after one cycle. I have not stopped bleeding since my m/c. So I am waiting on that bleeding to stop and AF's visit. I wish she would hurry up already.

May 14-I have finally stopped spotting since my m/c. I spotted for about 3 weeks. Now I am wanting for AF to show her ugly head. I am not sure when to expect her. I have done some research on the net and some say 4-6 weeks after your D&C. On friday will be 4 weeks. So I guess I just wait.

May 19-Well it has been 4 weeks this past Friday since my D&C and still AF has not shown her ugly face. All I can do is wait for her visit. I hate the waiting game.

May 22- AF showed up today.

May 26-AF has left. This was her first visit since my D&C.

May 28-Af has returned. Her visit has been different this time. She visited Thurday and Friday all day. Left Saturday Afternoon, came back Sunday morning, and left again late Sunday night. Did not show up Monday or Tuesday at all and then this morning I use the restroom and she showed her ugly face again. I wonder how long she will visit this time?! I guess this is normal and I hope soon my body figures out what is going on soon. My other half and I BD on Monday night while she was gone. I wish she would just leave.

May 29-Well I do not understand what is going on with my body. AF was here for a very short visit yesterday and left again last yesterday afternoon. I sure hope she stays away for awhile this time. I guess this is her visit. I am not sure what to think.