teen-mommie,15's profile

teen-mommie,15
	Age: 15 Country: Province/region: City: Partner: Joey Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 14 Mar ,2008 Occupation: Student
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 116 days ago. Member since: 230 days
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This story is about my experience of getting pregnant at 15..

Unlike many things, when it comes to teen pregnancy there is no stereotype. Some teens can be persuaded into waiting others will push past advice, and not change there minds for anyone nor anything. All teens just as any human being have their own opinions on what they will do, and wont do. One teen may be the result of a teenage pregnancy and decide it's not what they wanted, nor what they can handle. On the other hand one ending in the result may decide that weather being ready or not it is what they will now face and have to deal with for the rest of their life. It all comes down to ones opinion, and what they are willing to do and not to do.

Being a victim in this possibility, I personally decided that keeping this child was the only way. The mistake was not in getting pregnant, but simply on going ahead and having unsafe sex within itself. Sex alone could have most defiantly waited, stubborn and young that didn't seem to phase me too much. Why it was such'a surprise to me the afternoon I found out, I'm still not sure. In my heart I knew long before that I was indeed pregnant, I suppose it was the whole reality of facing the fact and now having to make decisions that were much higher than my mental ability. My emotions were running wild, too quick for me to comprehend. My life had just flashed in front of my eyes and I was unable to keep up with everything that was now going on. At this point I was unaware that my life as I knew it would be gone, and gone forever.

As I sit on the bathroom floor my entire being quickly becomes fixated on the faint but definitely visible POSITIVE cross placed at the end of the plastic tube. For the first time in my life, I now fully understand the word "panic". My heart has now just fell into a deep dark place that I was unaware even existed in my body, and I somehow get the feeling that it's not about to go anywhere until I get myself out of this mess. I'm well aware of all my options, but somehow can't be convinced to go through with the abortion the choice that every person who ever cared for me has insisted that this was the easiest, and best way out. I than think through this for hours upon hours. Easiest way to go? I would probably have to to agree, I mean no one needs to know, I could just go get it done and than act like it never even happened, kind of like a second chance. Best way out? I think that's where my mind is stuck. These are my actions, and my wrong decisions not my child's; should they really be punished for my wrong doings? Will It make me feel more of a person? or less of myself? So much to take in, and it all seems to be overtaking me. So now I am alert on what everyone around me thinks I should do, It all comes down to what I think is best for myself and my child. A decision I never thought would be so difficult, let alone something I would ever have to face. The thoughts and hours that would be put into it never really phased me, in the end abortion just wasn't something I could do as a person, It would wreck me for the rest of my life and getting over the fact would be a long and painful journey I just wasn't ready to face.

I am now set on a decision I'm not so sure that I'm "happy" with but, most definitely content with. Many nights ahead of me that will be filled with tears and confusion, and at times even some regret. However the hardest part is yet to come, the explaining to my loved ones. Many disappointed faces, and I can see the anger in some people's eyes. This hurts to watch and even more painful to explain to them why I chose to do what I did, and how I'm expecting on doing it. That question seems to hit me like a brick wall, How "am" I expecting to do this?! I can't even take care of myself let alone a precious child. Days go by and eventually months and the "hows" no longer seem to phase me everything is seeming to all fall into place, and deep down somehow I know that I can do this. As it gets closer to her arrival I find myself more anxious everyday it fascinates me on how much love you can feel towards someone, someone that you haven't even got the chance to meet. The love is an unexplainable one at it's best. It seems to grow each and everyday, and helps me grow as not only a person but as well into the loving, and caring mother I am soon to become.

The beginning-

Well, as you can see I am only 15 so this pregnancy was not planned by any means, and the first few months was a living hell full of confusion, frustration and some mad "day" sickness, forget about "morning sickness" I had it all day everyday for over five months. It has now started to fade making the pregnancy a much more enjoyable one when it comes to the physical feel of the whole ordeal. Though our baby girl was not planned, and the beginning of this whole experience was one at its worst we are both much much happier now, and believe that this was something that was meant to be; no doubt at all. It has brought us together in more ways possible, and her daddy loves her more than anything which is more than I could have asked for!

December 08, 2007- I am six months and one week as of yesterday and time seems to be just flying by now, We have her name all picked out:) it's going to be Calli Anne DiMaria-Page. Her daddy gave her, her first name and I her middle:) shes going to take both of our last names until we decide whats in store for us and our relationship next! I'm feeling better everyday about the whole pregnancy, no more getting sick and I seem to be very happy most of the time!

December 09, 2007- Well, it's one day closer. About two weeks ago I was experiencing these excruciating cramps in my lower abdomen after walking long distances and also as soon as I wake up in the morning, before I even get out of bed. After a few days the getting up in the morning cramping stopped so I ignored it, however again this morning it was just as bad as before, I really have no idea what it could be; But the pain is unbareable at some points. I go see my OBG/YN on Thursday so I'm gonna bring it to his attention I'm praying that it's nothing too serious!:| - I have no doubts that it's probably just some bad positioning of the baby, cause all my doctors have told me that my little girl is growing just fine and she is extremley healthy, so pray for us!

December 10/2007- Okay, so well today was an okay day when it comes to the sickness, and back aches and all the other nasty stuff that comes along with pregnancy. Being only 15 and pregnant and like I said not planned what so ever today was not a good day. Don't get me wrong I adore my baby girl to the heavens, somedays are just I dont know how to put it... Hard? Today was a really emotional day I don't have many of those days anymore but when I do it's nothing pleasant, My mind just gets going and I feel this is all happening way too fast and I'm worried sick that I won't be capable of supporting my little girl with the best. I don't want that for her, and it worries me. I know in the end that it will all be okay but somedays it's hard to put that all together. & along with not feeling that I can give her a good life, I have no life myself anymore. It does make me feel really greedy when I say that, but I don't do any of the fun things I used to as a teenager, It's just hard to face reality somedays. I believe that this was meant to be; I just don't understand why me, and why so young... Prior to getting pregnant I was a 90% average student, I devoted my life to singing, and dancing and it was planned that I was supposed to be attending a Canadian Idol audition at the end of May/08. So much for all that... I'm not even enrolled in school right now due to the morning sickness I had for the most of my pregnancy which is also hard to do. Well; I just felt I had to get that out after crying all day long it seemed to be my last resort- Praying for a better day tomorrow!<3

December 11/2007- Well, today was a good day I wasn't feeling sick or down and my cramping wasn't too bad. It was a slow day though, I slept alot- I go see my obgyn in two days! Finally!!, well yah not much happened today.. kinda boring. Though shes starting to kick alot again, she slowed down for a few days but shes makin her way back up there:)

December 18/2007- Well, I hav'nt had much time to update due to the running around for christmas and what not. Anywho I seen my obgyn last week and he said my cramping is normal and not to worry about it. I am 158 now! I can notttt believe it, and in the past week alone I have had three people ask me if I was having twins! how rude, I thought:( lol but thats okay. lol, the past week or so has been pretty good with everything pregnancy related. My backaches are becomming more fluent and shes kicking up a storm in there! she now can kick light objects right off my stomach!:) I cant wait to meet her!<3

December 20/2007- Well, starting late last night and up untill now 4:40this afternoon my little peanut has not found the desire to stop moving for even a minute! I love when shes kicking and moving around, but it cutting into my sleep! and gets very frustrating at times, yesterday I went the whole day without my Diclectin (the pill that limits my morning sickness) and I didnt throw up once! nor feel nausaus, It felt good lol, Today was a bit different I had to take one this morning but havnt had one since and I seem to be holding over just fine! So im really hoping that this morning/day sickness is gone for good!<3

December 23/2007- Two more days untill christmas!, mind you the last christmas I have with myself as a teenager, and not a mother. Haha:) She finally is getting up and sleeping on a schedual so I know when to be ready for her to start kicking and jumping in there, she gets up for about an hour or so on and off in the late afternoon than sleeps untill about 12:30 and than is moving like mad for about 45minutes, than sleeps again. I can deal with that lol:) well I must be going now to get ready, I still have to finish some christmas shopping!:| eeek!

December 28/2007- Well, as for the holidays they went by okay. Knowing that they would be the last as a teenager, and baby-free made them a bit depressing but im still so excited for Callie's first christmas:) Last night my Braxton Hicks contractions started, well I think they did:S I was experiencing this tightening in my stomach and than it would release itself, and repeat a few times and again it was happening this morning, nothing too painful though deffintly something I can live with, However no doctors are open for the holidays and I have been out of my diclectin for about a week now and I have been vomiting just as much as I used to! I hate it, and am dieing to get into the doctors as soon as holidays are over!

December 29/2007- Well, I dragged my ass into emerge yesterday because my vomiting was uncontrollable and I couldn't even keep three drinks of water down let alone any food and I was starving, and im sure my little girl was as well. So anyways, I went in and told them what was happening and that I had no diclectin left and they wanted to hook me up to all these iv's to shoot some fluids and food into me, which I protested against because I did not want to be there any longer than I needed to be, so I promised the doctor if he filled me a prescription for diclectin and if it didnt work I would come back in! Knowing it would lol:) and as I thought it did! So im feeling much better and my baby girl is prolly just thrilled that im eating again!<3

January 02/2008- It's been a few days since I've posted, been kind of sick lately but feeling better, Happy that it's a new year:) New beginnings:) and also makes it seem closer to cali's birth! Getting very excited, well I go see my OB next week, so i'll have more to post than!

January 04/2008- So, Joey was extremley sick these past two weeks and seemed to be getting better in the past three days or so, Happy for him.. but I woke up this morning sicker than ever! I have the worst head cold I've ever had!, I woke up so achey, all my muscles were killing me! and I couldn't breath out of my nose. Hoping it passes soon! We finally decided on how were going to spell our baby girls name its going to be: Cali. <3 - And as for her lately, shes been moving a few times every hour and a half or so, so im very happy that shes active!:) and time is going by quick again, I can't wait until I have her and can bring her home!:)

January 10/2008- Okay, so yesterday I get the news that I failed my G/T test which was a bummer, and now I have to go do the 3hour testing next week. & as if that wasn't enough, Joey left me. I have been a wreck over it, 15 and raising a baby is hard... but doing it alone? So frustrating, and being pregnant my emotions are running crazy. Im trying my hardest not to cry so it dosnt upset my little girl, but it's so hard. Well I hope I get over this soon, and stay strong for Cali<3 - wish me luck.

January 16/2008- Well, Joe and I made it back together- thankfully. & I go for my 3hr on friday praying all goes well! I went into emerge last night cause I was concerned that I was feeling very little fetal movement for a few days, Heart beat seemed to be great but they also said she wasn't moving at all either- couldnt figure out why, we just figure shes been resting lately? Any other suggestions? well only 66 days until my EDD! so excited, I'm dieing to meet her- though im getting alot more scared lately and its starting to be

come more real, Im sure i'll manage just fine! [ im hoping ]

January 19/2007- So i went yesterday for my 3hr, Havnt got my results yet still praying all went well. I also found out that my due date is now March 14- so sooner than I have been expecting, I'm starting to get a little more worried about delivery now that its getting closer but I'm gettng more anxious and excited everyday:) she still hasnt been moving much, I see my OB on tuesday im gonna mention it to him:)

Feburary 13/2008- Been awhile since I''ve updated, but I seen my OB yesterday- everything seems to be going good, shes positioning her head into the birth canal right now, and that is the reason for all my crazy cramping lately. Which makes sence, only 30 days untill I get to finally meet my little peanut. Joe and I started our prenatal classes last week, and I finally convinced him to come along with me:) so those have been going pretty good. I am now a big whoppppppiiinggg 171!!!! Can't even believeee it, No doubt in my mind though that its for a wonderful cause!:)

When you found out

When did you find out?: August 2, 07
Where did you find out?: At my boyfriends house
How far along were you?: About seven
What was your reaction?: confused, upset, mad at myself, didnt know what everyone would say or think about me
Who was the first person you told?: My boyfriends sister, she bought the test for me

How did you tell the father?: He was out with his friends, I called him and told him he had to come home; and he was mad that I was demanding such'a thing, hes like I will later I said joey, you have to now... hes like why!! I said Im pregnant.....
What was his reaction?: He hateeed me, and thought abortion was the only way to go

All about your pregnancy

When is your due date?: March 22, 08
Did you have any morning sickness?: I vomited every day all day for 5.5 months
What are your fears?: Will she be healthy, and can I provide her a good life?
What are you most happy about?: Giving such a precious thing life, and getting to experience every minute of it with her
Did you want a boy or girl?: At first I wanted a boy, than I just wanted healthy.
What did the father want boy or girl?: Boy
Do you know what your having?: Indeed, a baby girl!
Do you have a name picked out?: Her name is Calli
How much weight have you gained?: Approx: 20 lbs.
Have you felt the baby move?: Yes, very much everyday and I enjoy ever second of it!

When you have the baby

Are you keeping the baby?: Of course

Do you plan on a natural or medicated birth?: Whatever pain I can handle will dictate the amount of medication I'll be using.
Are you scared about labor?: Im not worried about the pain, Just that all goes well and the baby is alright
What do you think will be the worst part of labor?: having to wait to see her Im sure that short time will seem oh so long and agonizing
Have you taken any classes?: Not yet, I start early febuary
Who will be in the delivery room?: Joey and our mothers are rotating in
Are you having the birth videotaped?: No way
Do you think you will cry when you see the baby for the first time?: Of course, I cry thinking about her!
What do you think the fathers reaction to the baby will be?: He'll be ecstatic and perhaps cry aswell
How do you think family and friends will feel?: Excited, and relieved everything went well- expecting that it will.

Survery # 2.
♥

Name?: McKenzie Leigh DiMaria

Age?: 15

Height?: 5' 0

Pre-pregnancy weight?: 130

About The Father

Name?: Joe Page

Age?: 17

Height?: 6' 0

Are you still together?: Yes.

About Your Pregnancy Is this your first pregnancy?: Yes.

When did you find out you were pregnant?: August 2/2007

Was it planned?: Not at all

What was your first reaction?: Scared, confused, unsure of what to do

Who was with you when you found out?: Joey's sister Ashley

Who was the first person you told?: Ashley- Joes sister

How did your parents react?: mm.. mad, but supportive I guess

How far along are you?: 25 weeks.

What was your first symptom?: Vomiting, and not feeling like myself

What is your due date?: March 22/2008

Do you know the sex of the baby?: Yes

If so, what is it?: Precious baby girl:)

Have you picked out names?: Her name is; Calli Anne DiMaria-Page

If so, what are they?: ^ ^ ^

How much weight have you gained?: appx. 15lbs

Do you have stretch marks?: auuh! Yes!

Have you felt the baby move?: all the time

Have you heard the heartbeat?: Yes!

About the birth

Will you keep the baby?: Of course.

Home or hospital birth?: Hospital

Natural or medicated birth?: Natural, Until the pain is unbarebale.

Who will be in the delivery room with you?: Joey, Our mothers are rotating

Will you breastfeed?: Hoping to, yes

Do you think you'll need a c-section?: I dont believe so

Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: Most likely

What's the first thing you might say to him/her?: I love you!

Would you let someone videotape the birth?: ew no.

Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: mm.. excited

Would yo like a GIRL or BOY?: I'm having a girl, whom I already adore.

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