Hi everyone! I have been coming to this site for a few months now. It is so much fun browsing all over and I can't wait to be able to share my pregnancy stories with everyone, when it finally becomes my turn! My husband and I have been TTC for 9 months now (since June 2007). I have always wanted to be a mom and am starting to get a little worried about not being able to get pregnant, being of "advanced maternal age" and all.........I know that a lot of you know what I'm talking about! Here's to hoping that the new year brings a lot of BFP results for everyone that is waiting to become a mom Baby dust to everyone!

Dec. 21, 2007

Well, I made an appt. to see my Dr.....maybe he has some ideas on helping me get pregnant. They couldn't get me in until Jan. 4th though because of the holidays. I hate waiting for answers....not a very patient person.

Jan. 6, 2008

I had my Dr appt. on Fri. He wants to have my progesterone levels drawn to see if I'm ovulating (even though the OPK says that I am).....he just wants to be sure. They will call me later this week with the results and then may go in the following week and get a radiological exam (to see if my tubes are open?)....will have to get more details on that when the nurse calls me with the lab results. I'm just hoping that AF doesn't come on Sunday!! It will eliminate the need for all of this!! :) Time seems to always go by so fast except for this last week waiting to see if your period is coming or not! Why is that?! Baby dust to everyone!!

Jan. 9, 2008

Well, that nasty uninvited guest is starting to show up today......and 4 days early!!! She never comes early! What is her problem anyway?! Go AWAY!!! :(

Jan. 13, 2008

Finally, my nurse called on Fri. She said that I am ovulating! Part of me is happy about that, but another part of me is thinking "OK, so what's wrong with me then?!". I will now go on Wed to have a hysterosalpingogram done. They will insert a catheter into my uterus and shoot dye through it and watch it on an X-ray. They are looking to see if my tubes are open.......maybe I'm ovulating, but if my tubes are blocked, the egg won't be able to get through to get fertilized. They say that it is mostly used for diagnostic purposes, but sometimes it's therapeutic too and that some women experience increased fertility afterwards because if it's just something like mucus blocking the tubes, the dye will sometimes flush it out and leaves your tubes wide open. I'm feeling very hopeful now. Can't wait to see what happens! :)

Jan. 18, 2008

I had my HSG on Wed. It wasn't too bad......just hard cramping when they put the dye in, but it only lasted about 10 min. (I will endure anything to be able to become pregnant.) The Dr performing the test said that everything looked clear, but he will sit down and study it closer and then forward the results to my Dr. Still haven't heard from my Dr yet, but I'm trying to be patient. Meanwhile, we will cont. to BD (of course!) and hopefully will hear something on Monday.

Jan. 27, 2008

Why does time seem to stand still in the 2 ww period? The two weeks waiting to ovulate seems to go by quickly for me, but this waiting to find out if I'm pregnant or not is pure torture!! Oh please let me get a BFP this month!!

Feb 6, 2008

AF is here, not my month. This sucks!! :(

Feb. 24, 2008

Well, here we go again........in the 2ww now! I was so positive last month and it was a huge let down when AF arrived! I'm not going to do that this month, no expectations, just positive thoughts.

March 1, 2008

I'm 10dpo now.....4 days until I can test. I've been getting light cramps on and off now for the last several days. Just the same as when I'm going to get AF! Doesn't feel like my month. I keep looking for any signs of being pregnant, but sometimes I think your mind plays tricks on you too. I did have some funny "twinge" like burny feelings in my left breast (I never get sore breasts before my period....or ever), but that was a few days ago and nothing since, so who knows. I think just wishful thinking.

March 5, 2008

This is the 10th time that I've had to say that AF is here and I am not pregnant! I wish that my wanting a baby would just go away, I can't hardly stand this anymore.

March 14, 2008

I went back to my Dr last Thursday. He started me on Clomid (at my request). He said that since I'm ovulating, it probably won't help, but he said that it won't hurt either. He wanted to send me to the fertility Dr now, but I just want to give this a try. I just finished my 5 day cycle on Wed, so we'll see what happens. He said to give it two months and then he wants me to go to the fertility specialist. I think that I will try it for one month and then go see the specialist......trying to stay calm. It's just that I don't have a ton of time to waste here. It makes me wonder if I would have tried to get pregnant even 5 yrs ago, would I have been having trouble then too? My fertile years are ticking away with each passing day! OK, enough of that, positive thoughts only!

March 20, 2008

Well, I have been using the OPK (like I have done every month), but I have not gotten my "smiley face" yet (unlike every month)! What is going on? It's usually like clockwork for me......always on day CD14 I get a positive, but this month I didn't get anything on day 14 or 15 either. Tomorrow will be day 16 and I will test again, but this is just weird. I wonder with the Clomid, did I ovulate earlier this month? I usually will start testing on day 13 (which I did this month too) and it's always neg. and then the next day I get a +. This month I got a neg on days 13, 14, 15...... hmmm what is going on?!

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BEFORE YOU WERE CONCEIVED, I WANTED YOU

BEFORE YOU WERE BORN, I LOVED YOU

BEFORE YOU WERE HERE AN HOUR I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

THIS IS THE MIRACLE OF LIFE

Maureen Hawkins, poet

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April 14, 2008

Alright, I got my smiley face this month. This is good and bad. My husband is at work right now and I have to leave for work in a couple of hours, so we won't be meeting up tonight. :( It's so hard with our work schedules, I work three 12hr shifts and he works a late swing shift 5 days a week. There are 2 days out of the week that we don't even see each other and wouldn't you know it, that's when I usually ovulate! I don't know what to do, but I will try and stay positive.

April 16, 2008

I'm so happy to say that we did BD yesterday morning! I also used pre-seed for my first time. I hope this will help. It is our last chance before going to the fertility Dr. This is CD16, so I guess that I'm officially in the 2ww stage now. We'll see what happens, I hope I have to make a prenatal appt. instead of a infertility appt in 2 weeks!

April 29, 2008

AF here, another big strike out this month! :( Well, off to the infertility Dr next week. Hopefully some good news will come from that.

May 8, 2008

I went to the infertility Dr today....really nice Dr. We talked for a while and the plan is to do IUI (intrauterine insemination) next month. He started me on prenatal vitamins and wants me to take Clomid again. Once my AF is here, then I will also have a few labs drawn. He also wants me to continue to use the OPK (I should own stock in this company!) and when I get a positive, then I am to call his office right then and let them know, so then I will go to the office the next day to get inseminated! (I think they do this to cows too..... ha ha) Not very romantic, but that's OK, I just want a baby! He said that there is a 20% chance of it working, so it may take a few times before we get a BFP, but eventually, it should happen. If not, then we talk about IVF, but I can't even think about that at this point.......one thing at a time. Well, that's my news for today. Once again, I'm feeling hopeful. :o)

May 24, 2008

Well, so much for feeling hopeful. My husband has informed me that he does not want to proceed with the IUI. I can not believe it! He says that it is not "natural" and that people have babies everyday without any help. Why did he agree to go to the appt? Why didn't he say something in the last 2 weeks since our appt? Why did he let me walk around and tell everyone that's what we're doing when he had no plans of going through with it? I'm so sad, hurt, mad, feel betrayed, confused, etc. Now I have to call the infertility Dr and let him know (and everyone else that I've opened my big mouth to). I feel like a fool.

May 30, 2008

AF here again. I am now starting my 13th month of TTC! I feel like time is slipping away from me. Maybe if I was 28 yrs old instead of 38 yrs old, I wouldn't feel so anxious. I'm so tired of crying over this.

June 26, 2008

Well AF started to arrive on Tuesday, then went away and now it's here full force today. Such old news. Will this ever happen for me? On to month 14 now and I will use the Clear Blue Fertility monitor this month and see if that does anything.

July 22, 2008

I used the monitor this last month, but no success. AF came today. Back to the drawing board as they say. I want to have another talk with my husband about the IUI, but I'm a little hesitant. I just don't want to argue with him. Our anniversary is this Mon, the 28th of July, so I won't talk to him until after that. Wish me luck, any advise is certainly welcome. In the meantime, my monitor will be set back to CD1 and off to month 15 of TTC! I never thought this would be me, infertility only happens to other people, not us, right? Right.......