Hey, congratulations to you all, no-one ever tells you how hard being pregnant actually is, well no-one ever warned me!! My story is amazing, i was told i couldnt get pregnant & had given up on ever finding a decent man!!!

I was told when i was 21 i would need fertility treatment to have kids as i have polycistic ovaries, i was extremely overweight & lead a terrible lifestyle smoking 20-40 cigarettes a day & eating junk food. As i got older i started to change my ways & lost nearly 6 stone eating healthily. I was engaged to Paul for 3 years & Carl for 2 years & never used contraception with either of them as i knew i couldnt get pregnant. I had got pregnant once when i was about 19 but suffered a miscarriage at about 5 weeks. When i found out about the PCOS i put it down to that & resigned myself to the fact my body was just useless.

I left Carl early last year due to him becoming violant & totally gave up on men! Where were all the good ones?? I couldnt seem to find them!!! Decided i wanted to change my life some more so started swimming every morning before work, made me feel great so then after my 29th Birthday in June i decided i wanted to quit smoking so i could increase my fitness.

On July 24th I paid £180 for a 2hour private hypnotherapy session to give up smoking (not just cigarettes dope aswell) & it was a MIRACLE! I have not touched or had a craving for a cigarrette or joint since & i smoked 20-40 a day!!!

On August 10th i walked to my local shop & bumped into a man i hadnt seen for a few years, didnt know him that well he was just a friend of a friend etc, we stood chatting for ages & in the end i asked him if he fancied coming back for a drink, we grabbed a bottle of wine & lets just say he still hasnt left!

I came on my period the day after i met him on August 11th & that was it, i found out i was pregnant on 15th September!! WHAT A SHOCK!! Luckily he is the most amazing man that walked this earth & has done nothing but support & reassure me ever since!

I blame it totally on giving up smoking ha ha well & a little bit of magic! I 100% believe things are meant to be now & its all fate, think i had to tie up all the little loose ends of my life before i was blessed with this miracle. Think i had to have the horrible boyfriend to truely appreciate how wonderful Chris is.

When i went to the doctors to confirm my pregnancy he tested my urine & found loads of sugar, i was sent straight for tests in hospital & i found out i actually have Diabetes!! The swimming & healthy eating had stopped me from getting ill! Was on insulin the next day & im now trying to balance my sugars so my baby doesnt put on lots of weight.

This whole experience has been such a massive stress from the insecurity of having a baby with someone i had known 4 weeks to learning how to inject & blood test 4 times a day.

I found out at 20 weeks its a boy & i cant wait to meet him, hes a total miracle. Im going to call him Jude after my Mums favourite ever Beatles song Hey Jude.

I hope my story can give someone hope, i truely believe if you make positive changes positive things will happen.

Good luck & lots of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

19th February 2007

Just had my 28 week scan, wow, hes so cute (i cant work out how to put pictures on here) I have a picture of him lying on his back with his hands & feet in the air blowing bubbles ha ha!

I had a 28 week scan due to the diabetes, i had to check he wasnt putting on too much weight as the baby can get all the extra sugar if not controlled properly. Because ive been a good girl & not ate any rubbish he weighs 2pound 14 which means he is just a good sized baby!! Im so pleased as it means i may be able to try for a natural delivery! I really dont want a C Section!

How lucky are we all hey?? xxxxxxxxx

26th February 2007

The baby has hiccups!! Wow how cute?? He has had them a couple of times over the weekend & Chris could actually feel them with his head to my belly! Just want to hug him & give his little back a rub.

7th March 2007

Just hit 30 weeks yesterday! HOW AMAZING! Its getting hard again now though, weeing around 10 times a night, constant heartburn & trapped wind, rib pain....... i could go on! Will be worth it in the end though - come on 38 weeks (when i get started off due to diabetes) xxx

20th March 2007

Just had a 32 weeks growth scan to check how big my lil man is getting & he weighs roughly around 5 pounds! Slightly big but within the chart so im really happy. Cant wait to meet him, its starting to drag now...... xx

3rd April 2007

Had my 34 week growth scan yesterday!! Oh my god hes a monster!!! ha ha he already weighs roughly 6pounds 8!!! OUCH!! He's bloody gorgeous though, i have a great photo of him giving me a wave just wish i could work out how to put them on here!

Good job im finishing work this week as they have now started my foetal monitoring, hes getting too big too quick so i now have to go into hospital 3 days a week to get monitored.

When my midwife felt him last night she said "my what a chunky monkey you have got here" ha ha love it xxxxxx

Have changed my picture as cannot work out for the life of me how to add them on here so that is my boy @ 34 weeks giving you a wave xxx

5th April 2007

Well today is my last day at work so wont be able to get on here so often as i dont have the internet at home, my friends & Mum have got it so will check as often as i can so please keep leaving me your messages letting me know how you are getting on!

Started my foetal monitoring today, spent an hour strapped up to a monitor listening to his heart beating which was lovely & they gave me a scan to check the fluid & the blood flow to the placenta....OH MY GOD it was amazing, i actually got to see the placenta & how much blood was rushing through it to my baby, it blew me away as it highlighted just how much of a miracle this really is xxxxxxxx

20th May 2007

Hey everyone, sorry ive not been on for ages ive not got internet access at home & as you can imagine its all been abit mad in the last couple of weeks!

Jude Hamilton arrived safely on the 3rd May @ 10.06am weighing a very healthy 8pounds 15!

I went in to be induced in the morning as i was 38 weeks & after a sweep 4 days before labour had still not started on its own, me & Chris thought we had a long old haul infront of us! Got booked in at 8.30 & the midwife hooked me straight up to a foetal monitor to monitor him for half an hour before they started inducing me! Little buggers heart was racing abit so after 15 minutes they doctor came round, looked at the monitor & said EMERGENCY C SECTION - NOW!!!!! Oh my god the mad thing is even though you know you are having a baby for 9 months for some reason you are not prepared! I think labour mentally prepares you for having this baby because i remember not being scared about the C Section just thinking "i aint ready to meet him yet"!!

The C Section went fast & was uncomplicated, im not going to lie it bloody hurts for a few days afterwards but the procedure was quick easy & painless (Chris was definately more phased about it than i was).

Jude came out & screamed his head off straight away (the nicest most reassuring noise you will ever hear).

Hes amazing & beautiful & after having a horrible pregnancy the first thing i said was i cant wait to do it all again!!

He's 2 weeks old now & turning into a little bugger! He was as good as gold for the first couple of weeks, didnt know we had him, just ate, pooped & slept, the only time he cried was for food.........oh how things change!!! Because he is so adorable no-one can put him down (including me & Chris) & now he hates not being held!! Friday night i had 2 hours sleep because every time i put him down he SCREAMED even though he had been fast asleep in my arms for the last hour!!

Im not going to lie girls its bloody hard work & a total shock to the system being woke up by a screaming baby but i wouldnt change it for the world hes lovely & everyday he does something new that makes up for those sleepless nights!

The mental hormones are also quite hard to deal with but i think as long as you have a supportive partner you will be fine, if i need a cry Chris just listens & gives me hugs & if i snap or shout at him for no reason he doesnt hold it against me or turn it into an argument!

All is great though, its amazing!!

Will be back soon to update so please leave me messages ive been thinking about you all & how you have been getting on xxxxxxxxxxx

29th May 2007

Hi all, well Jude will be 4 weeks old on Thursday & every day he gets more & more entertaining, hes got such a strong character already, hes stubborn like his Dad & likes getting his own way like his Mum!!!

Things are getting alot easier, im now getting used to being woken up in the night & its not stressing me out anymore,think i was more stressed by the fact it didnt come naturally to me, this parenthood lark is just one big guilt trip i can tell you!! I literally beat myself up over EVERYTHING!!

Im getting more confident now though which helps MASSIVELY!! The midwife came last week & he had gone from 8pounds 15 (he went down to 8pounds 6 when we left the hospital) to 9pounds 12 in 1 week! Thats a massive weight gain! Little things like that make you realise you are doing things right.

Every day i love him more & more, i look at him & think ive never seen anything as gorgeous as this little man & how the hell did me & Chris make him!!

The hormones have really settled down aswell which is great!! Ha ha your all gonna laugh at me now when i say this:-

I MISS BEING PREGNANT!!

Cant believe ive said it myself coz i HATED being pregnant! Oh i dont miss the constant weeing, swollen everything & heartburn i think i just miss the excitement & anticipation of it all!! I want another 1 ha ha ha xxxxxxx

19th July 2007

Hey guys, sorry not been on for ages i never get any time to myself anymore!!!

All is good, he is 11 weeks old today & the love of my life, hes all smiles & cooing, he talks back to you & is desperately trying to giggle but just cant do it yet.

Me & Chris are still trying to get used to it all, its a massive strain on a relationship because you get no time together & everything is about Jude but on the other hand we went out for the night last week, left Jude with my Mum & we just ended up pining for him all night & rushed to my Mums the next day to get him!

Life changes so much but i wouldnt change it for the world it just takes abit of getting used to.

Please write to me & let me know how you all are & i promise to write to you all soon - as soon as i get 5 minutes ha ha xxxxxx