Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away...

11.10.07 - I'm nine weeks pregnant and feeling about the same as I have the last two weeks... mornings are my best time where I have the most energy and feel good. I get very tired in the late afternoon and usually try to nap if even for a few minutes. Dinner time is tough as I get so nauseas that it is hard sometimes to cook dinner for my family. I've been munching on crackers while I cook which seems to help. At night I'm just cranky, tired and BLOATED!!! My poor husband - he's been putting up with me and I feel like all I do is complain. He is so supportive and wonderful and always tells me how much he loves me. I love him more that anything and I am so excited to welcome this new little one into our family.

11.12.07 - My sister is my very best friend and I'm worried sick about her today. She is also pregnant - 20 weeks along now. She went in for her ultrasound this morning and during that appointment the Dr. found that her cervix has thinned out. They sent her right into the hospital to be monitored and she is still there now. My sister lives in Florida, so I'm about 1000 miles away. I just wish I could be there with her. They are going to keep her overnight & on the monitor. The baby is doing great - he is perfectly healthy and I just pray that my sister is holding up OK. Please keep her in your thoughts & prayers.

11.16.07 - Thanks to everyone for your well wishes to my sister, Tiffany. They ended up releasing her from the hospital on Tuesday since she wasn't having any contractions and put her on strict bed rest. She had to go back in yesterday for an ultrasound to check the cervix. Since there was no further progress they allowed her to go home but she is on strict bed rest until 28 weeks when they will re-evaluate. It's hard on her and her husband because they have a one year old at home and he travels for work every week. But, she has a lot of support and they will get through this. She is just achy from laying around & bored out of her mind. I keep trying to get her to check out this website because I think the support would be good for her. I'll keep everyone posted but remember that things can always be worse - that is what is getting her through everyday! A good friend of hers is in the hospital right now with twins - 26 weeks. The twins are identical and they found a severe problem about 3 weeks ago. She is also handing in there, but it is very scary. These stories make my morning sickness seem like a walk in the park! I hope everyone is well!

11/28/07 - Starting to feel better - just very hungry! I've gained almost 9 lbs now & none of my regular clothes fit! It's very aggravating to hunt around for clothes in your closet & find, well, nothing. So, I caved last week and bought some cute maternity clothes. They are so much better then when I was pregnant with my oldest son 12 years ago! Can't believe that much time has gone by. Anyway, we enjoyed our Holiday with my family in Florida. The weather was beautiful and it was nice to see my husband relax a bit. My sister is doing well - hanging in there. I can't help but feel sorry for her as she is really restricted to either the couch or her bed. Her little girl is only one, so my brother-in-law is really busting his butt taking care of everyone. Bed rest is no joke!

12/21/07 - 15 weeks today and it seems like a very long way off before the new little one arrives. Christmas is only 4 days away and we are heading to Floriday tonight to spend the Holiday with my family. I am really looking forward to being with my sister and helping her some with her situation. She is still on bed rest and is more restricted than ever since her cervix has thinned out more. She is starting to sound really down in the dumps and I'm worried about her. Hopefully I can help her do some shopping and decorating this weekend. The kids are excited to go to Florida! I think we all need a break from the gloomy, cold weather right now in PA. It will be nice to see the sun. I'm feeling very big these days. I've gained about 13 lbs so far and I feel every ounce! I'm in maternity clothes now though one pair of my low cut jeans still fit me! 25 weeks to go! Merry Christmas!

1/6/08 - Wow, a new year! How time flies... I was just re-reading some of my post and am so grateful for this site and the fact that I am actually journaling some of my experiences this time around. I'm not a very good writer, but an excellant typer!

I suppose I'm feeling a bit reflective as I just spent the last two days in my yoga teacher training class. I have been practicing yoga for the last 8 years and as many of you have come to find out I am very passionate about it. I came to yoga through my running to help heal some joint pain I was experiencing. After only a very casual practice several months later all of my knee and ankle pain was gone as well as some lingering lower back pain that I had from the pregnancy of my second child ( he was 9 lbs 8oz & 22 inches long!). So, I became more interested. Yoga has become my center, my strength and a daily part of my life. I feel that I've been led to this point in my life so that I can learn the skills necessary to teach yoga to others. Anyway, I started my training this weekend! I was both very excited and nervous going into the weekend. Mostly because my movement is obviously restricted with the pregnancy. My yoga teacher is also a childbirth doula and an amazing teacher. She pretty much "wrote the book" on pre-natal yoga so I trust her completly and allow her to push me physically knowing that she would never put my baby at risk. This weekend was challenging for me but also invigorating as I did push myself more than I've been. It felt good. I feel strong and brave. I know that by going through this training pregnant that I will have more compassion and understanding than I ever could have not pregnant. I learned so much about humility this weekend just by being around the other women in my class and learning from them and about them and thier lives. I feel very blessed.

Update on T - still on bedrest. 28 weeks yesterday, so we are almost out of the danger zone. She is hanging in there. I try to call her everyday and cheer her up. Of course we've only been home now from Florida for 5 days... I miss her already. Baby Jack is doing great. He is very healthy and that is what is keeping her going. We are still hoping that the Dr. releases some of her restrictions after week 32. Keep your prayers coming!

1/24/08 - So, I'll be 20 weeks pregnant tomorrow which means I'm halfway there. You know, somebody should tell you at some point in your life that your actually pregnant for 10 months. WHY is this a giant secret? No matter how you look at it is 10 months. I don't get it. Anyway, I'm feeling OK. I've been having headaches all week and my body is starting to take shape & look pregnant. I've gained a ton of weight - 23 lbs right now and I feel huge. I've decided that I could never be overwieght b/c I'd rather starve myself than feel this uncomfortable all of the time. I probably sound like a complete b***h. But, it's how I feel. I've been busy with work, kids, husband, house, yoga... Thank God! My yoga training is going really good. I'm learning so much and realizing that yoga for me was about 80% physical pre-pregnancy and about 20% spiritual/mental. Now, because of the pregnancy I'm only able to push myself so far physically so the spiritual/mental side of yoga is able to shine through a bit more. It's a good thing and I'm embracing it and trying my best to understand this more. Eddie and the kids are all doing well and starting to get more excited about the baby. The baby is moving a lot more now the last week or so and I enjoy feeling that little life inside of me growing stronger everyday. We go in for a level 2 ultrasound next Tuesday. I am really looking forward to seeing the baby in there and making sure everything is developing normally and that the baby is healthy. We had decided that we were not going to find out the sex of the baby, but recently we've been talking about finding out. It acutally came up b/c of the nursery decorating... Anyway, I think it will be a game time decision so we'll see. I really can honestly say that I have no preference and I know Eddie feels the same, so whatever God wants us to have is perfectly fine with us.

1/31/08 - Well, we had our ultrasound on Tuesday and as I predicted, my husband decided that he wanted to find out the sex... We are having a little girl! Eddie sat in quiet awe while the nurse fumbled around my belly. I don't know if I've ever seen him that happy! I can honestly say that I think it was one of the most special momments in my life. The baby is doing great. Very strong & healthy and active! She was busy flipping around the whole time and we got some terrific shots from the tech. The Dr. spent some time with us and assured us that she is right on track. I feel very blessed.

2/15/08 - 23 weeks pregnant today which means I have 16 or 17 weeks to go based on my Dr. wanting to induce around 39 weeks if I'm not progressing. ( I was late with all three of my children & they were all big babies). I'm feeling pretty good these days, but I must say the days are feeling longer than usual. I am very tired again already and both dreading and anticipating the 3rd trimester with all of it's aches & pains. We celebrated my daughter's 4th Birthday and my husband's 35th birthday this past week along with Valentine's Day so it's been a busy and fun week. It's hard to believe that Sophia is 4 already. I feel like I was just pregnant with her! That thought seems to make me feel better about this pregnancy and grateful to experience this miracle one last time. My body is hanging in there though this pregnancy has been especially tough on me physically which makes me certain that this will be our last child. I've still been working out, though not as frequently. I worked out with my trainer, Pam yesterday and she kicked my a** and I was feeling it by mid-afternoon. We did lots of lunges and squats and my legs were sore this morning. I've missed my yoga classes all week due to the weater we've had. I was literally stranded in my house for two solid days with my daughter since Ed had to take the truck to work - his car is just a hockey puck on the ice. Thank God we'll be trading that thing in this summer! I'm going to try to go to yoga tomorrow morning. My body feels totally different when I'm not committed to a daily practice. I also miss my running workouts very much. I miss the heart pounding sweat that comes with a good run. Hopefully by the end of the summer I'll feel ready to get out there and run again.

I've been sleeping Ok, but I'm up a couple of times a night to go to the bathroom. Ed has been complaining that I'm keeping him awake at night... too bad, Daddy! Men are so ridiculous sometimes...

I guess that is it for now... Oh yeah, my weight is up 26 lbs this week. I guess I am well on my way to 45-50 lbs for this pregnancy!!! Ugh!!!!

2.25.08 - 24 weeks this week and time seems to be standing still for the past couple of weeks. The only change I've been noticing is that my appetite has increased a bit and I'm sleeping a little better the last couple of nights. Eddie and I went away by ourselves for the weekend. It was really wonderful. We were supposed to go to Philadelphia for a romantic weekend to celebrate our birthdays, but we got a fierce snow storm here last Friday and we had to change our plans. We ended up going to Sky Top resort in Poconos which is very relaxing and a great place to be "snowed in". Eddie was happy b/c he got some snowboarding in and sent me to the spa which was wonderful. I got a prenatal massage and facial which were very nice. We ate like pigs all weekend and I even skipped dinner last night opting instead for an orange and yogurt b/c I was so full still from the Sunday brunch we enjoyed earlier in the day. Eddie went with me to my yoga class on Sunday and got to see where I go for my teacher training. I think he enjoyed the class and I know he enjoyed seeing the studio and meeting some of the girls that are in my teacher training class. I really enjoyed the class yesterday and I'm getting more comfortable with the adjustments I have to make with some of the asanas now.

Ed will be prepping for trial all week as he next trial starts next week. Living with a trial lawyer is never fun when they are in trial b/c I will literally not see my husband for the next two weeks. He'll leave the house around 7 a.m. and get home around 7 p.m. then eat dinner and visit with us for about an hour then he'll work until 10 or 11 p.m. then just pass out and that goes on 7 days a week until it's over. So... I just try to be patient but sometimes it's hard. Although it is much easier since I stopped working full time so at least we are not both maxxed out.

As far as the baby goes, I have a Dr's appt. this Thursday morning and I'm looking online for bedding so that we can order it by the end of March. I realized this morning that we haven't shopped at all for this baby yet and time is quickly running out so I have to get moving.

My sister is doing better. She is 35 weeks and still on bed rest until this Saturday b/c they are trying to keep her pregnant until then when she turns 36 weeks. She is 3 cm dilated so I'm not sure that is going to happen. I have a feeling baby Jack is coming very, very soon!

3/13/08: Last day in week 26 and also the last day of my second trimester. Things have been very crazy the last two weeks... I was just released from the hospital this morning - three long, hazy days there. I have been sick since the Tuesday prior. It started as a sore throat, headache, sinus pressure, fever and achiness and ended up being a hell of a bacterial infection landing right in my lungs. By last Sunday night I was struggling to take a deep breath and coughing up thick, green mucus (disgusting). My fever was also getting harder to control and I had been on an antibiotic for 5 days so it was time to get some more help. I called the Dr. on Monday morning and they ordered a chest x-ray for me so I went in. As it turns out it was not yet pnuemonia, but a bad enough infection that my left lung was beginning to collapse. Needless to say, I was admitted into the hospital by late Morning on Monday and was very glad to be there. They started me on IV antibiotics and fluids right away and by Tuesday morning I was already feeling much, much better. Eddie was running around like a crazy man all week taking care of all of us. He is such a good man and I was so grateful for him all week. He looks exhausted and I am just hoping he is able to feel caught up at work sooner than later so that he can try to get some rest too because he needs it. The kids were all troopers this week and I am proud of all of them. I came home to a clean, happy home and couldn't be more grateful. I was so ready to come home today and so miserable last night that I was again sleeping there in the strange surroundings of the hospital. I felt very exposed there - like I was trapped. It all felt very institutionalized - if that means anything. I was grateful for the medication and care, but by yesterday I was ready to be back at home and away from that sterile, concrete room.

The baby is doing well considering everything we've been through this last week. They ordered an US on Monday night so Eddie and I got to see her wiggling around inside of me. She was sticking out her tongue and playing with her hands which was so cute. I am ready to welcome this little girl into our family and can't wait to hold her in my arms. Thank God she is protected so well inside my womb. I am in awe of my body and how capable it is to bring healthy life into this world. Thank God for taking care of us this week and for bringing me home today.

3.17.08 - Week 27 going well so far. I think I am just so happy to be feeling well again that the pregnancy and all of the discomforts that go along with it seems much more bearable. I had a normal busy day today and enjoyed the routine of my normal, average life. Baby has been very active as of late with more routine periods of activity and inactivity. She really seems to respond to Eddie's voice - especially in the evening. We started clearing out the office downstairs which we are transforming into her nursery. It's closer to our bedroom than the playroom upstairs, plus the kids still really use the playroom on a daily basis so it is an easier adjustment for everyone. I, however, no longer have a home office. Fortunately, I have a nice cozy desk area in our bedroom with just enough room for all of my "stuff". So, until we refinish the basement baby will be snuggled up in my office. Also, I know that I've announced our daughter's name on the posts, but not officially on my page... We settled on the name Contessa Rose. We plan on calling her Tess or Tessa - whichever works. Contessa is her more formal name and reflects our heritage. I also think it is very pretty and very different which will be nice for her. I can't wait to meet this little girl! I went shopping for the first time last Friday. Just picked up a couple of things, but it made me feel more connected to her seeing her stuff in her new room waiting for her arrival! I think it is all starting to become more real to Eddie also. He seems more comfortable lately with my growing belly and has made more of an effort to connect with the baby more often. He is clearly excited. I can't wait to see her snuggled in his arms.

3.23.08 - Happy Easter Everyone! 28 weeks prego & feeling every bit so. I just wanted to post a quick note that my God Son/Nephew was born on Friday! Little Jackson Joseph weighed in at 8lbs, 1oz and is 21 inches long. My sister had a very tough delivery as she progressed from 4 - 10 in 38 minutes so the epi didn't hold up very well. She also had trouble pushing b/c the cord was wrapped around his nec and his head and hands came out together - UGGGHHHH! the Dr. had to push his little hands down so she could deliver him! Thank God both baby Jack and Tiff are both doing well now. I so wish that I could be there in Florida with my family & hold little Jack. We are going to my Dad's house for Easter dinner today and Eddie's Mom, brother & sister-in-law are coming too. It will be a nice day for everyone. The kids are very excited and enjoying all of the goodies in their Easter baskets & I am trying to get out of the bad mood I woke up in this morning. I feel guilty even writing that - there is really nothing I should be in a bad mood about... So, I'm going to call my husband who just ran out to get flowers for the Mothers and apologize for yelling at him about an hour ago. Although, I must say, men can be really unsympathetic sometimes and I'm not really sure I did anything wrong other than the fact that I woke up a little grumpy. I guess it didn't help that the kids were up and running around at 6:45 a.m. and that I was literally up all night feeling really uncomfortable and restless. Well, I guess this "short" post turned out to be a little longer. Gotta go get in the shower - I hope you all enjoy a blessed day.

3.29.08: 29 weeks & feeling HUGE!!! It seems like every piece of clothing that I try on lately looks ridiculous, so I am totally over maternity clothes and refuse to buy anything else for my closet. I have an engagement party to attend next weekend and a wedding for one of my closest girlfriends in April and have been trying to find a dress to wear to both. Well, it has been a complete nightmare. I've ordered two dresses online and have had to return both since neither fit. I am so frustrated! I went shopping the other day to try to find something to no avail so I really have no clue as to what I am going to wear. I just hope I can find SOMETHING this week.

Baby is doing great - she is very, very active and strong. Her movements are very consistent now and I can tell when she is sleeping and awake. She seems to be responding to Ed's voice and also to Sophia's voice (probably because she is always talking so loud!). We ordered all of her furniture last week and cleared out the nursery (my old office). I still have to go through a bunch of paperwork & boxes that had been stored in there since we moved in last year and I am hoping to get to that this week. The furniture should be in later this week - everything except the glider which I am SO excited about. I ordered a custom purple microfiber material finish which will look so pretty with her bedding. Since I was having such a hard time finding bedding that I liked I let my 4 year old daughter pick out the bedding she liked - we got it at babies r us and it's nice. I can's say that I'm in love with it, but it will look very pretty with the crib & dresser we picked out. They are both done in a dark cherry finish & since the bedding is purple and light green I think I'm going to pick out a light green paint for the room. The painter is going to come in to finish the baby's room & our guest bathroom downstairs while we are in FL in two weeks. I can't wait to go - BTW! Ed & I are going to stay at the beach for two nights by ourselves to relax & get some sun. Hopefully I can get a little color since I feel so gross right now.

4.17.08 - Last day in week 31 for me! So excited to move on to week 32! 8 weeks seems so much shorter than 9 for some odd reason! We are in Florida right now vacationing with my family & it has been a wonderful week. We are going to the beach this afternoon which I'm really looking forward to! The weather is supposed to be just perfect today with highs around 85! We've been staying with my sister since Tuesday afternoon and are getting to spend lots of time with my neice and new little nephew, Jaxon! He is sooooo perfect! Perfect little lips, hands & feet! So cute! Eddie is doing amazingly well with him! Jaxon seems to really like him and just settles down in his arms. I can't wait to seem him holding our little Tess! My belly is huge right now and I'm convinced that she is going to be a very large baby! I'm wondering now if I will make it to 40 weeks? She seems to be running out of room and I am having lots of BH's much sooner than I remember having them in my last pregnancies... Anyway, other than that I am feeling well. My hips have been very achy in the mornings and I'm still having lots of pelvic pressure/discomfort. I am going to be starting the water therapy next week so I think that will help some, but I have noticed that it's worse when I don't do my regular yoga practice. It's getting harder now with some of the postures so I've been going really gentle. Only a couple more months and I will be finished with my certification! Hopefully it whips me back into shape quickly! I can't wait to feel light again!

5.27.08 - Well, I'm still here & haven't written or updated this thing in awhile... I'm on here everyday reading the updates and wishing that I was experiencing some progression as the other women are. I cannot believe that this is my 4th pregnancy and I have no signs of anything happening. Very few BH's, no thinning of the cervix, no dropping, nothing! So... I'm just hanging in there! My Dr. scheduled our induction for Friday, June 6th - that is the good news. So, at least I know that there is an end in sight. We are being induced due to the fact that all three of my children were very big babies and the fact that we are with a new OBGYN and my husband is a med malpractice attorney probably helps some! Eddie and I are anxiousely waiting. There is something very strange about scheduling the birth of your child though and I suppose that is why I would rather go into labor naturally. It's almost like I'm messing with God; like why should I have the right to chose my daughter's birthday? HMMM... Well, I guess the Dr. decided & decided on the date so does that mean I am off the hook? I hope, because now that I know that I can have her on the 6th there is like no going back to the original date of June 13th in my mind. So wierd! I digress... So, I'm feeling very ready physically to have this child. My body is tired & heavy. I feel very slow and restless and the nesting instinct has definately set in. I am a cleaning machine! My wieght has settled around 165 lbs which means I've gained a total of 45 lbs. So, now I'm trying to figure out how I can my body back before the first week of August. Is that impossible? Probably, but I'm thinking of different ways that I can workout before I actually get the go ahead from my Dr. to workout. Walking, yoga, strict diet, etc... But I'll be nursing so I won't be able to restrict my calories that much. However, I think a 2000 calorie diet will be sufficient to keep up the milk supply and since I never had any trouble nursing before I think I'll be OK. We are planning a vacation for early August. Haven't yet decided where, but we are thinking island/tropical so I want to feel comfortable getting into a bathing suit on the beach! Plus I want my husband to be attracted to me again!!! I guess that is not a fair statement, because he has been wonderful. But how can he possibly be attracted to me right now? I'm huge... So, it would be nice to feel really attractive sooner than later. I'm thinking right now that this is more of my own issue than his really. Wow... I'm really rambling today! Bottom line, one week three days and baby Tess will be here with us! Can't wait!

6/6/08: Well, I'm still pregnant. I was supposed to be induced today but when I went in for my Dr's appointment yesterday she checked me and I was still not favorable enought to go through with the induction. In fact I was still only barely 1 cm dilated and she said my cervix was still very hard. So... she left it up to us, but basically said that if it were her she would wait until next week and wasn't recommending that we go through with the induction today. A risk of a c-section is not one that I was willing to take so we are waiting until next Tuesday evening and will be induced on Wednesday. UGH! Actually I am feeling better about it than I expected. I just want our baby to have the best start in life and if she is not ready then I am not ready. Wish us luck!