Pregnancy Journal

Welcome to my 'I-am-pregnant' page. My husband and I were surprised and excited to find out that we were with child. While the first few weeks were characterized with foreign pain and an overwhelming sense of fear; we have been able to welcome the 2nd trimester with a bit more confidence and excitement. As newlyweds, company owners, and college students we are submerged in life and all its unexpectancies. I am literally on an emotional roller coaster and I work hard to keep my mind on this side of sanity. I love my husband dearly. He's been down this road before (a daughter of his own) but has done a great job of making this new life journey exciting for me.I hope its a boy. lol.
I can't believe we are starting a family so soon. Wow. Much of me wants to be selfish and want my husband to myself but I know that this will be just about the best thing that's ever happened to me...so i won't complain.
Except for this excruciating lower back pain; i will complain about that. And why do I already have a waddle and no belly. My pelvis feels huge and I don't know what to do with it.
I recently put all my baby books and baby stuff that I had already accumulated away. I was feeling low and just a bit bothered about some things. But I'm praying for deliverance so that I can go back to occupying myself with reading every page of every book or magazine come my way. :)
This writing is quite therapeutic.

So I recently figured out that I can post what I have to say here so from this day forward (November 20, 2007) I will no longer be a newbie and post in my own comment box, which is supposed to be from you! :)

1st comes love: Fall '06

Then comes Marriage: July '07

Then comes the baby in the baby carriage: May '08

November 20th

Wow. What a morning. Up until today my vomitting has been nothing more than painful regurgetation of foreign liquids. Oh but this morning that all changed. Can we say 30 minutes of non stop throw up???!!! Gross. Faint of heart...skip a few lines and then read. The only reason I wasn't even more disgusted was the fact that I was throwing up my favorite cereal: Cinnamon Life. Coming up from my belly it remained sweet for the most part. lol. Ewwww. Ok enough of that. Despite this mornings vomit fest I was still able to get to a computer lab and finish my paper. -Clapping--(in my head). If you can't tell, I'm in a pretty good mood. Almost went bad when my hunger pains hit and my husband wasn't able to respond, due to being busy with the business of our business, but I'm ok now. He's right...we both can't have bad attitudes: so i'm gonna have the good attitude today. :) Which leads me to remember what I was thinking about yesterday. I want to start meditating. I've been worried about what's really gonna go down in that delivery room. MrB sounds like he's a bit over-the-top to put it nicely. But I know how I am and him freaking out would make him victim to what I imagine will be my no-so-great-side that day. I was reading one of my books and it said don't worry about turning evil on labor day. You will react to the pain and drama of labor the same way you react to pain and drama of everyday activities. Hmmmm. Since MrB and I have been together I have had few complete outbreaks of craziness. Most of the time I center my emotions and suck it up. So my plan is to ensure a suppressive reaction to MrB's probable outbreaks. I really don't want to resort to sitting him down or worse putting him out the room until the head is crowning. Mediation.....yep. I think it will be good for me. :)

November 21

So yesterday I couldn't seem to keep a darn thing down. I threw up breakfast and lunch. I thought it might be because there were milk-based products in each meal but then come dinner I was able to keep a cheesy dish down. Ne wayz, yesterday sucked. I know I talked about having the positive attitude but that all went down the drain when MrB decided to keep me out of the loop when his meeting that was supposed to go over for an hour turned into 3 hours. His happy azz didn't get in until 11:14pm; so i'm stuck dealing with a sucky day of vomitting. I couldn't sleep because his....'overzealous' ex decided it was imperative to call me to talk to her daughter, whom she was going to see in less the very next day. His sister shows up to the house with the sweet offer to take the child to play with her cousin until 7. After the phone call with the ex I decided to stay up and fix dinner for everyone. Well that was all retarded b/c the child doesn't return until 7:45, already fed. (Not really complaining about that though). And as I said he doesn't show up until 11:14!!!!

So why am I complaining you may ask? Why not just go to sleep and forget about it? Well when daddy isn't home certain people take forever to sleep. So what do I decided to do...let her sleep with me. Which, if i may say was a great idea when it comes to her actually going to sleep. She was out in 30 minutes. But, it was not so great for me and the baby. I was kicked, slapped, moved, and talked to all night. So needless to say by the time my knight in shining armour decided to come home, I was not thrilled, but more like, perturbed, annoyed, tired, hungry and frankly pissed off. It's amazing how we as human beings allow ourselves to be ruled by emotion and then put demands on other folks to live by and then we have the nerve not to give them the same consideration. If you don't get it don't worry about it: its my personal pet-peeve. So what do I do? Well at first I was going to simply appease myself and finally get some sleep. But then I decided to still honor him in my perturbedness by warming up the food and sitting down to eat. Guess what? Do you think he had any clue as to why I was acting "like I got up on the wrong side of the bed"????!!!! NO! He walks around today really not sure why i'm angry. My question is if 'doing what you say you're going to do' or 'being where you say you're going to be' is such an important personal value that you ensure that I respect it or learn to respect it at all times then why is it that you feel so free to not treat me the same way???? And that's not just talking about the events of last night.

Ok that's enough. Never really said all that outloud. Hopefully I can reach some greater understanding so that I can move forward with positive relationships and a positive outlook concerning my feelings.

OH but before I go...i don't want to use this as an opportunity to air all my emotions but rather give a well-rounded account of my pregnancy experience, the good, bad and ugly. But i gave no good.

To my baby: its so nice to actually feel you. We didn't throw up today. :) And mommy's trying to keep her head up. She got one of her 7 papers done yesterday. :) My belly button is poking out just enough that I can pull on it and see all of it for the first time. lol.

Well see ya for now.

November 27

So this has been the longest weekend ever. Thanksgiving was a blast. I was good until I got home and then the baby woke up i guess and I was experiencing pains all over. But I still ate!!! lol. I haven't thrown up for two days in a row! I've been walking around with a barf bag that someone gave me after that terrible day of throwing up every single time I ate.

So I called the doctor's office and they told me that I can get my ultrasound until I'm exactly 19 weeks!??? What's up with that? Every book I've read said I could have known the sex of the child at 15 weeks. :( So I won't find out that I'm having a boy until Dec. 14th. :(

Oh by the way I finally found a doctor that I like. My previous midwife's facilities just weren't up to par. This office is clean, efficient, and essentially handles business well. Dr. Chung is sweet, has kids of her own and made me feel very comfortable. We actually had a consultation in her office before going into the room to be checked out. I really appreciated the care I recieved.

What else? Oh...so Sean Taylor, Redskins Safety died this morning after being shot yesterday morning. Mom's, I love the Redskins and I can't believe that this tragedy has fallen on our camp. :( My prayers go out to his girlfriend and their new 18 month baby. :(

ITS A GIRL

Yes, everyone to our great surprise we are having a GIRL not a boy as we thought. wow. There was dead silence in the ultrasound room friday, Dec. 14th. The nurse was looking at the screen and wouldn't tell us what I could already clearly see: that there was no penis. lol.

But quick complaint: i did not like the nurse. In her degrading attempt to talk down to my husband and I she ended up on my bad side (for lack of a better analysis). You could tell that she just wished that my husband and I would disappear as she talked it up with my step daughter who looks mixed with something other than African American. I wanted to say something in that room so bad but I didn't want to ruin the ultrasound experience for everyone.

Ne wayz, so now we are attempting to get over the shock of girl news and prepare our hearts and minds for the entering of a princess in the world. Name! Name! Name!????

We also were able to get 4-D pictures of babyB. I think she looks exactly like my husband. :( not that i'm sad she looks like him, but i am disappointed that she looks nothing like me. Yeah, she's got some of my family's genes showing up but not really. What's the use of his genes being dominant if they aren't gonna make a boy. The rule should be the guy only gets a baby that looks like him if its a boy. Girls should look like their mothers. :) lol.

Gotta go...3 papers to write.

January 24th

So we're at 25 weeks! How exciting. Baby B. moves all the time. Her kicks are getting really strong. She's discovered areas such as my pelvis and ribs to kick. Sometimes i feel her way over in my side. How is my body continuing to change? Well, my hands are still dry and itchy no matter what I do. But i did figure out that i've been doing a lot of the scratching in my sleep. My face has definitely gotten wider. My nose gets chaffed more often. I've realized that much of my pain could be attributed to the fact that I don't drink much water. Now why my doctor couldn't tell me that, i don't know. So i'm drink more water. I'm still faithful to the prenatal vitamins.

The big news is that i'm going to continue with school this semester. I have 5 classes within 2 days and things have been going well. Today is my 2nd day. I've also taken on a little daycare side job of opening up shop (downstairs) at 6am and staying until 8am. While it has me exhausted I am happy to be able to help us with our first apartment together. Yes, we moved! We are downtown and I am still adjusting to city life. Sleep is hard to come by right now but its really nice to for Mr. B and I to build our family in our own space.

I'm supposed to get diabetes testing within the upcoming weeks. (i have until 28 weeks to do it). I'm just a little perturbed at the quality of service given at my current OB. I know if I change it would be my 2nd time but i'm a stickler for service. ITS MY FIRST BABY!!

We have come up with a name for her!!!!! We are blessed and quite excited and keeping it a secret for the naming ceremony at her birth.

March 9

Only 8 weeks to go!!!!!!!!! OMG! I can't believe this is almost over. What's been going on you may ask: 1. for the past few weeks i haven't been gaining any weight :( the doctor actually told me that my body was beginning to break down muscle for 'food'. well that freaked me out. 2. i also learned that my blood pressure has continued to decline. the doctor told me to eat more food with salt. 3. i had the flu for 2 weeks. this was terrible and set me back a week in school. but its spring break now and I expect to be caught up by friday. Pray for me!! 3. my hip pain has become more pronounced 4. i had my first braxton hicks. OMG. so as one can imagine i'm freaking out just a tad about labor pain now. 5. the baby is growing on target, thank God. so while i'm not gaining weight the baby is, which calms me down. 6. i found that taking a loooooong hot shower eases my muscle pain. :) 7. my husband continues to take wonderful care of me. i can tell that the stress gets to him sometimes but he has managed everything so well and i am so grateful. we've begun reading to her every night. I read love poems and daddy reads children's books.

Ultimately, we are getting a bit anxious and very excited. The baby shower is scheduled and i'm finishing up the semester. The Lord is so merciful and kind and I am honored that He would choose me to bring this beautiful life into the World.

My mom and dad visit almost every weekend and bring us blessings. :) They've set me up with maternity clothes for which i am so grateful. I've also begun to keep track of how far i walk every day with a pedometer. So far i walk an average of 2 miles per day. NO wonder i'm not gaining weight! lol.

i'm so excited to see our baby. i love her so much. i look forward to her waking up everyday and pushing on my belly. But what's funny is she stops as soon as I get my husband to look or try to feel. She is something else. :)

I hope all who read this are well. :) God Bless.

Did I say we have a name for the baby...its still a secret. :)

The Road to Labor!!