Hey ladies,

My name is Ashlee and I am 19 years old, and I am soo excited to be on here and PREGNANT. I guess I am extremely excited because unfortunately I made the decision to have two previous abortions, and now that I am pregnant for the third time I feel that it is time for me to step up and take the responsibility. I live on my own with my boyfriend Ron hopefully soon to be FIANCEE', and he has been a sweetheart. My mom and grandmother know that I am pregnant, but I am not ready to tell my dad. He just has so many other plans for me as far as finishing college and everything else, and he had me young and I just don't want him to leave my life for good. Any ideas on how to tell him? Anyways, I have never been so far along in pregnancy so I am excited, but also nervous because when my boyfriend and I moved out on our own we did not think we were going to have a baby and now financially I do not know how we will be able to afford this baby. :( I know God is a good God, and will work it out but this is still life and I don't want to be in a long vicious poor cycle forever or at least until I graduate from college. Anyways thats it!!! I hope you guys leave me lots of helpful information, because I surely need it.

February 6th ( 17 weeks and 3 days)

I have not written on my page lately but today it is feeling good outside and I am stuck at work and it sucks! Anyways, I threw up a little bit this morning before I came into work and the funny thing is because of my boyfriend's scent. I feel really bad but I also feel like there is nothing much I can do. Being in the 2nd trimester I do feel a little bit better but sometimes I still feel sick and I just wish that part would go away. I FINALLY have a doctor's appointment today, and I am really hoping that they set up a sonogram sometime soon since I am 17 weeks, and they can now determine the gender. I really want a girl, and so does my whole family except my boyfriend because he is so stuck on having a boy to carry on his name. Anyways, is anyone still you know getting intimate with their boyfriend? My boyfriend wants it all the time and I always get soo scared because I am too lazy to get on top, but I feel like he is suffocating the baby. Maybe, I am just over thinking the situation, but it still bothers me. I really hope to find out soon if the baby is a boy or girl because for a girl I really like the names Amya and Aaliyah.. Aaliyah was my idol before she died, and I just think she has the prettiest name as well. Anyways, I guess back to work my life isn't too exciting anymore especially since school started back up. If I get a sonogram I will let you guys know how it went.

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February 11th 2008

First, of all I am angry because over the weekend I eat some spaghetti that my boyfriend made and it had me throwing up all that night and I still don't feel too well. I am also angry because on friday I went for a sonogram and I find out that my dad switched up my insurance and now I have to pay $50.00 every time I get a sonogram. Then, I find out that my due date gets moved back from July 13th to July 18th which really irritated me because now I have to wait three to four more weeks before I find out if the baby is a boy or girl. I really want to switch doctors but I feel like that will be too much of a hassel now. I did get to see the baby however, even though the lady who did the sonogram knew if the baby was a boy or girl but she would not tell me how mean is that. The baby looked soo cute however, I mean its not the baby's fault I just want to know what the baby is so that I can call the baby by its name. Anyways, the baby has the longest legs ever!!!! The biggest head too.. I am soo small I really am starting to wonder if I will be able to push this baby out. I guess we shall see. Anyways, its monday and I am back at work, and back to the crazy school schedule that is about it.

March 5th 2008 ( 20 weeks )

I finally changed my insurance, and its better than ever for now because everything is free. I feel like I finally reached week 20 and it took forever. Unfortunately, this week started off bad because I was in the hospital for the whole weekend because of a kidney infection that I did not know I have. If you do anything make sure you drink your water because when the infection gets too bad it hurts soo bad for the longest time. Anyways, I finally got my BIG ULTRASOUND, and it was great. I finally got to find out what I am having, and I got to see the baby for like an hour and she is growing so beautifully and healthy. On the downside, Ron and I are having some issues financially, but we got approved for a lot of help so its coming along. Either way,

we are having a GIRL

AMAYA!!! :)

Cinco DE Mayo

I haven't wrote in awhile because I have been very busy, but today I was just thinking about how I only have a little more time until she comes. I want her here so bad but then on the other side, I am soo scared of ALL of the pain I am going to have to endure to go through this. I don't want to feel like I am being selfish because I love her so much but I just also don't want my body to change. I am pitiful when it comes to pain and I dont know where the strength is going to come from to endure all of the contractions and pushing her out. I am small as it is. I've heard soo many stories about women who rip and then after that their private parts aren't the same anymore. I just don't know if I can deal with all of this. Its beginning to stress me out the closer I get to her arrival.