youngstudentandmom2be
	Age: 22 Country: Province/region: City: Partner: what about him? Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: student
	Online: 33 days ago. Last updated: 125 days ago. Member since: 343 days
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i'm pretty much new to this whole thing....pretty nervous, excited,trying to stay positive etc. but what's real is i don't always feel that way..i always have to remind myself to keep my head up, if i don't who will??.. haven't told many people yet. pretty much anybody. don't even know how to tell the father or how to include him in the ordeal...as of right now i'm anywhere from about 15-18 weeks.. not showing yet either. sort of concerned about that. i have been getting a lot of cramps, but that's suppose to happen because i'm literally stretching...

before i was aware of my situation i was trying to get away, needed time to myself to get my head clear... to re-evaluate my situation with school... and not appreciating the person i am like i should. i needed to start loving me more.. and now i need to get all this straightened out... don't know if it's that selfish to withhold this information from dude for the time being..

whatever...i need to take this day one day at a time...because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.....need to stay focused...need to stay brave.

Thursday, 8 Nov

11/7/08 I had a u/s done and I was a little nervous about it. Don't know if everything went well because 'the people' in the office said they had to refer everything to my doc. I proceeded to ask them why go through that hassle when you can go straight to the source and the source is me... aren't I your patient as of right now? Shouldn't I be treated as such?............ I pretty much left with a headache and wanting to beat someone down.

And but of course when I get back to campus, they tell me I can't purchase food because I have a hold on my account. Mind you the lady watched me get all my food, and did not say 'anything' until i came to her register. I tried to wooosaa my way out of this one guys... I honestly did, but it didn't work. So when the lady informed me, I asked her did you have fun watching me walk in past you and get all this food? She stood there with a blank face... then I asked her so what do I do? She said pay for it, so i asked her if she was volunteering because i definitely did not walk in there with any sort of funds. then i asked who do I need to speak to to get this straightened out? She named the department. And I asked what do i do with this food and she said i don't know. i left the food there and told her i hope she appreciates it as much as i would have. and thinks of her kids not eating the next time she pulls something like that.

i'm getting good guys. not one curse word. :)

Friday, 9 Nov

Off to tell the family. Can we say nervous? Stupid doctor still hasn't called me.

Tuesday, 13 Nov

11/12/07
back. very tired. went better than i thought. told most of my family, but my family is pretty big, so i have a lot of more visits and phone calls to make.

Wednesday, 14 Nov

11/13/08
Finally spoke to my doc. Don't know the sex of the baby yet. but the doc did proceed to tell me that i was further along then he expected. my sonogram last week said i was 16 weeks... so does that make me 17 weeks now? well, i'll be speaking to him again, and we'll get this all settled. i had some blood work done... then i'll be positive about what i'm working with...

Thursday, 15 Nov

11/15/07
my hips are killing me... like it hurts when i'm laying down and move or have to get up.... it isn't like my muscles or anything it feels like my bones are just aching! like i need a cane or something... is anyone else experiencing this??

Monday, 26 Nov

i went to the doctor on the 23rd. (11/23/07) they drew some blood to check for abnormalities. i listened to the heart beat again. it was 150. the first time i went it was 141, the second 144. i'm excited. i'm starting to feel the baby a lot more. s/he woke me up this morning. so far i gained 4 pounds in total woooo whoooo.... i'm moving on up. last time it was 1/2 a pound. or maybe the 4 pounds was all the turkey i ate.

the father knows and he's excited.

Monday, 26 Nov

to relieve the pressure on my hips i started sleeping with a pillow underneath only my butt..so far so good. i just got a heating pack but have yet to use it, since i discovered this technique worked for me.

Monday, 26 Nov

11/25/07

my baby woke me up this morning! i was sleeping and then all of a sudden i feel something moving and i'm like what the hell! then i remembered hahahha i have a mini-me inside of me. i felt like the baby was out and about, because i said go back to sleep, you just ate. :) i'm so excited.

i've also been feeling intense pressure from time to time in the pelvic area. i'm not sure if s/he's running marathons in there or something all over the place...but something crazy is definitely going on inside of there. i wish i had my own ultrasound machine!

Monday, 26 Nov

Dear %^#(*&@,

Last week I had the pleasure of making your acquaintance. I'm sorry once again if I interrupted anything that day, but I'm in dire need of help. Below is a brief overview of the things going on.

Recently, I took out a subsidized loan from ******* through the financial aid office. My concern right now is the cashiers office is telling me that I still have an outstanding balance and will also have to wait until they receive word from the bank which may take up to two weeks. So, I can't eat until the bills are paid and as the days pass that I'm waiting patiently for an answer, the more days pass that I'm not eating properly. I'm four months pregnant, and do not want anything to jeopardize my health or that of the baby. But at this rate that everyone is going in I can’t really say what will happen, to either of us health wise. Maybe no one is taking me and my situation seriously because I’m not showing, or because they still eat when they get home from a long day of work. I came here to study, do you honestly think it’s that easy when I’m in class not only wondering if I’ll get to eat today, but if I’ll receive word from a different office today and finally get this ordeal settled? As of right now I'm trying to work something out with the housing and I’m expected to deliver around April 25,2008. Even if I do eventually receive a meal card, it’ll be no use because I won’t be in school next semester, if things don’t work out with my professors. So the meal card will be money wasted on my behalf, because I will not have enough access to it for the remainder of my stay here. There is a hold on my account that is preventing me from eating or even getting a meal card. My concern is not only am I suffering, but my baby is as well. I'm not sure how I can work everything out, thus I come to you. Since I've come to school here I've been getting strung a long and all I want to know is how do I get this cleared up so I can start eating again. I'm not familiar with programs offered by the school and wanted to know if you'd suggest anything.


I just got off the phone with a representative of the cashier’s office by the name of %$#^*, she told me “Bottom line, we can’t offer you a service if you haven’t paid for it.” Why wasn’t I evicted from the dorms, because that is what happens when a tenant can’t make payment. If that’s the case I’m not suppose to be registered in school then. Why would I have applied for financial aid knowing that I’m not able to receive it? Why was I able to go to the class if I haven’t paid for those services as well? Somewhere along the line there was a miscommunication of some sort, even when I first was accepted into the school it was under extraordinary circumstances. Classes began August 27, 2007 and I was not notified until about midnight August 29, 2007 via e-mail, about my acceptance into the college. A lot of money and last minute expensive flights have been put on the line since I’ve come here. I came here to attend school, and now they want to prevent my pursuit of life, liberty and happiness? If I don’t eat my baby’s health will not be up to par, and we’re supposed to live comfortably? Who knows, maybe the school will because it’s not their child.

Tuesday, 27 Nov

I'm WonderWoman Bitches!

Tuesday, 27 Nov

The school's response essentially was to withdraw. I asked them how would that be moving forward? Or are you trying to rid yourself of any liability that you may have to take on if anything God forbid happens to me and my baby? I also proceeded to tell them I understand you are doing your job now, but where were you before when I was doing it for you? when I couldn't locate anyone in administration to properly package anything for housing or my finances. They told me they couldn't bend school policies, and they need to follow protocol. I asked but now? How about when I was first admitted into the school?


I'm not trying to play the dumb role, like I don't know how all of this came about. So I'm not going to sit there and let them think there isn't a fault with there system when indeed there truly is. I understand it might be embarrassing to have little ol' me who has yet to graduate with the degree they have, be the one that has to unmask these faults. But you have a policy you have to follow, where was the fuckin policy when you needed to be following it from jump?! But of course no business will be willing to admit they have a fault in their system because in doing so, they are admitting to many other potential faults. Why do you think business' try their best not to recall products??... It costs too much money and will tarnish their image. Not until a great many report the problem do they recall things off shelves. I'm not the only one this bullshit is happening too with school, but it seems like I'm the only one that's not trying to accept it.


Fuck them! Their lucky that I haven't called Oprah because she's having issues of her own.

Friday, 14 Dec

12/14/07
So last night I was on the verge of tripping out, and for some reason my hand went straight on the bible... what's crazy is the verse my eyes laid on upon as soon as i randomly opened it.

Luke 12:22-34 Then He said to His disciples,'Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
*If you then are not able to do the least why are you anxious for the rest?*............And do not seek what you should eat of what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you. .......


craziness huh.

Friday, 14 Dec

Oh yeah, I'm back on the East Coast Fools!! :)

Wednesday, 19 Dec

soooo today i had an ultrasound done, and they told me it was a good possibility the baby was a boy....but they weren't 100% sure, because the umbilical cord was in the way. but the lady said, i'm pretty sure it's a boy. those sure look like testes to me. :)
i'm pretty excited. this is the first time in like 2-3 months that i've seen the baby. the heartbeat was 140. and i seen and felt my mini-me get the hiccups. glad to see everything is going well so far.

Thursday, 3 Jan

I had to withdraw from the semester.... in a way I was disappointed, because of all of the work I put in prior to attending... all the work I put into preparing the packages that the school should have had set for me prior to going. The last minute flights I had to pay for... The stress, starvation, sleepless nights, debt... So yea I was beating myself up for a little about this, now I `m feeling better. Sometimes we don `t go through these things for our benefit, but there `s a bigger picture...later on we can use our experiences to bring others out of it. I `m young. I `m not going to stop going to school. I have about 30 more credit hours to go then I can finally graduate with my bachelors... Even after that I don `t think I `ll stop there. I want to pursue med school and law school. Just trying to figure out which one I enjoy more now...This semester I will not be returning to school, I `m due in April and by that time Finals will be right around the corner. Oh yeah and in having to withdraw from this semester I had to use my aid from the spring semester to help cover my costs. Sooooo even if everything worked out in my favor for the spring semester.... noooo $$$$ means nooooo skoool..... I `ve applied for Fall 2008. I `m thinking of possibly even taking Summer courses so I can graduate earlier,(Dec.2008) I miss Cali. I liked the struggle. Before things get better, they have to get worse. It forced me to become more independent, and willing to become responsible for me and mines. I had things I had to `fix `, so I motivated myself to go to meetings, to venture out and ask about things(wic & medi-cal& public transportation). I started from scratch by my dolo. Coming back here not so motivating... I `m pregnant not disabled people.

Saturday, 12 Jan

i had 2 ultrasounds today... one was done by my prenatal dr. the other was done by a radiologist. the dr. said i `m having a girl. the radiologist said i `m having a boy. i have a picture the radiologist took and i want you guys to look at it and compare to pics you got from ur sonogram. does it look like a boy or girl to you. i was thinking it might be the babies foot because when it was taken the baby is in a breached position....


Wednesday, June 4 2008

Malek was due April 25th, 2008. My baby Malek was born on the 26th of April of the year 2008. The day before, on April 25th, I started having some cramping, more than the usual... I thought nothing of it, "I'll just go to sleep and it'll be over by the morning. " That morning while I was still cramping and feeling uncomfortable I went to the flea market to do a little walking and to pass some time. I returned by the afternoon just in time for dinner, but my appetite just wasn't quite there. I told my mother I haven't been feeling that good, I was having some cramping and I felt a little uncomfortable. She looks at me and says" your pregnant, you think it's gonna feel good? When your in labor you'll know, you'll be in a lot of pain and your water breaks." Some hours pass and by this time it's 7:30pm the baby's father and I decide I should go to the hospital just to check and make sure that nothing out of the ordinary is happening. My mother tells me I'm overreacting and that I'm worrying too much and causing my own self stress. Regardless I proceed to the shower because if I'm going into labor I need to be proper ;) I am not going to be known as the stinky and hairy patient in room 303. I'll leave that job to someone else. After the shower I'm still feeling that discomfort down under and at about 9:00pm I'm off to the emergency room. I'm put in a room and the nurse asks me " Are you in labor?" I tell her " I'm not quite a pro at this and figured you'd be able to tell me." She puts a glove on her left hand, applies ky jelly and makes an all too familiar motion that got me in the predicament I was in, in the first place. "Your cervix is 70% effaced and 1 1/2 -2 cm dialated, I'll come back in an hour and check if there's any progress, If there is I'll be admitting you into the hospital and calling your doctor." I guess I'll watch the basketball game.
<1 hour passes>
The same nurse comes to check for any progress and says you are 90% effaced but not dialating. I'll be admitting you into the hospital and calling your doctor. I said " I'm in labor?" She said "Yes, labor is defined as contractions accompanied with cervical changes; and that's what's been happening" She left the room to get some paperwork done and returns, saying your doctor wants to get you on petocin shortly. I tell her, I don't want to be in the hospital. I'm not eating ice chips! She says ok, I'll call your doctor and see what he advices. She comes back and says, he told me to give you a sleeping pill that should help with the contractions, you should be able to sleep while your dialating and finish the beginning stages of labor while your at your house. If this pill doesn't work that means you are really in labor and need to return to the hospital. It's about 12:30am and we leave. We go to Burger King I get a whopper junior and 2 small french fries and a sprite. I didn't even eat it!!! We get to the house I take a shower, try to go to sleep, but that proved to be unsucceesful. no position was comfortable for me. I use a birthing ball... nooope. didn't help.

<3:30am>
I'm admitted into the hospital. I'm given another sleeping pill and a pain killer, i think it was a perkaset to take the edge off. every hour after that nurses were coming into the room to check my progress. at 1pm 4cm they ask me do you want to begin an epidural. i said no thank you, i don't want one. so they insert another dose of the pain killer and tell me that now i should be able to go to sleep and i'll be energized for giving birth. 2 hours pass and i over hear my mother on the phone with my family updating them with the process. i specifically told her i didn't not want anyone else in the room but whoooo cares about what i have to say in this... so yeah i'm in labor and then i see 8 of my relatives at the door. and of course i say you gotta be kidding me. my sister quickyly comes over and says i know your in a lot of pain right now we'll come see you later. after they leave my mother gets upset, why'd you have to be so rude

the doctor enters when i'm 6 cm and scolds the nurse for not giving me an epidural when i was 4 cm. he breaks my water. adds more petocin to the i.v. he says we are about to get you started. i told him.... no i don't want an epidural. they asked me as soon as i walked in if i wanted one. i don't want one and haven't wanted one. he asked me why. so i said you trust me sticking a needle in your spine? no thanks i don't know you like that. i don't want one. he says ok he'll return later and has one of the nurses return to ask me if i was sure i didn't want an epidural. me: no i don't want one. what part of that don't you understand. an hour passes and he says your not dialating it may be in your best interest to get an epidural or you might have to get a c-section. i looked at him and said c-sections are for lazy doctors. epidurals haven't been around for that long doc, what was done before to help with dialating? then lo and behold , you should go on your sides and count 5 contractions and switch to the other side. me: now you decide to tell me this?? i've been in labor for 15 hours now and nooooooow i'm told how to speed up the dialation? the dr. leaves the room along with the nurses. an hour later i'm 8 cm. then everyone is getting excited...because they know the time has come.

18 hours later and 47 minutes of pushing i finally am graced with the presence of my mini-me.

I never felt love like this before.