| ~Bridget~ | |
 | Age: 31 Country: CA Province/region: Ontario City: Waterloo Partner: James Children: Pregnant: Trying to conceive Occupation: House Wife |
| Online: 14 days ago. Last updated: 75 days ago. Member since: 326 days | |
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Hi, I am 31 years old and have had at least two miscarriages always in the first trimester.. My hubby and I have been trying for many years to have a baby.
My Diary..
September-October- I started to feel really tired and have cramps often, I missed a period and my breasts were very sore. I refused to believe I could actually be pregnant after so many years trying and coming up empty. Finally my friend convinced me to take a home test. I took two home tests both came back positive!! I cant believe it!! I have forever wished to see those two lines!! This was a big shock to both of us. From the calculations on this site I was going on 7 weeks pregnant when I took the tests. I have to admit I am terrified of miscarrying again. I have not been to the doctor but am planning on going this week. I think the fear has held me back. I dont know if I could bare to hear bad news. I have always wanted a big family and it seemed that wish would never come true for me until now. I have yet to tell my family and only a few friends are aware, I am trying to hold out till I know for sure everything is ok and this will not be another let down. I am so excited and can't even begin to describe the joy I feel. I am crossing my fingers and hoping that this will in fact work out for us..
October 9th- I started to have brownish spots and had very bad cramps! I have a really bad feeling this is it! I am so scared and upset. I went to the hospital and after an entire day and evening in the emergancy. They assured me the bleeding was perfectly normal. But after blood tests.. they told me my pregnancy hormone levels were too low. They were showing I was only at 3 weeks, what is completely impossible! I am suppose to go back for a ultra sound the next day as they were very concerned.. I left the hospital in tears! I feel it inside this it, I am going back to get the ultra sound with all the hope in heart that there was some sort of mistake with my blood test.
October 10th - Had my ultra sound today and My pregnancy is over!!! I am suppose to be at 10 weeks. They told me the baby stopped growing at eight weeks and there is no heart beat. I have to go for a D &C tomorrow... I am so very upset by this news but after my D &C , they are setting me up with a ob-gyn to find out why this keeps happening to me.. I was told I can try again in three months.: ( I am so lost right now, and feel so horrible! I just cant stop crying!! It's like my worst nightmare has come true. I want to thank you all for your support!
October 12th- I didnt end up needing the D&C as I passed it on my own. The pains were terrible!!! I was up ALL night in such pain. It went on for hours. The devastation has kicked in! I feel so weak and just completely out of it!! I am physically and emotionally drained! I just don't know if I can keep doing this to myself. I have been trying to think on the positive side that there is always next time but i just dont know anymore.. Thanks for all your recent comments it really means the world to me.
October 19th- I am doing alittle better now, more positive. I am not crying as much and trying really hard to stay positive.I have a referral to see a ob-gyn so I am excited about that.. Hoping I can fix the problem and start trying again in three months...
November 5th- I went to see the ob-gyn on October 30th. She sat me down and asked me dozens of questions. She believes I have something called PCOS. This causes very infrequent ovulation. They did tons of blood work on me and told me if they call me back, then it could be more serious and she will need to put me on meds. If they dont call She said I am able to start trying again after my first period, and not have to wait three months. I am really wishing the phone will not ring!! She says I am fertile considering I was recently pregnant and she does not want to give me fertility drugs. She says alot of times these things just happen. So right now it's just the wait that is bothering me.. Even after all I have been threw I am now very excited to try again.. I want this so very bad and I have decided I will not give up.
November 6th- I got my dreaded call today, what was not so dreaded after all. All my blood work came back normal but my sugar was just one point over the boarder. She said it should be fine but I should follow up with my family doctor. That is great news.. I really needed some good news finally!! I dont have a family doctor there is a shortage here so I am on a waiting list. I might have thrown the sugar test off because I drank a hazelnut tea before I went in, as I was not told not to. Either way I am very happy.. First time in my life I am excited to get my period. heehee.. Then I will be able to start trying again.
November 11th- 14th- Still no sign of AF.. : ( I did some research on pcos, as the ob suggested. She did not tell me too much about it. I guess I looked in all the wrong places because I fell into a deep depression, as I read all these horror stories about it. I was so upset at the thought that I may never be able to have a child. I just cant bare the thought of that! My best friend was really there for me and knocked me out of it. I am so thankfull to have her!
November 19th- Finally AF has arrived.. I look at this as a new start.
November 27th- I am back on track a/f has come and gone, wow the cramps that came with it were terrible. I doing better and have printed out a calendar for my ovulation. We will see how this month goes..
November 28-December 6th- Doing the bding hoping to catch my ovulation
December 8th- Very weird today, I had some cramping and light spotting off and on all day.. This is not a good sign. A/F is not due for another week!!
December 10th- a/f has arrived early this month????
December 11th- ok there is no way this is a/f.. I dont know .. I am confused as to what is going on! Just brownish spotting. No flow just spotting.. Could this be implantation bleeding??
December 14th- Took a home test got a bfn!! I know it's early but wanted to try it out. The spotting has finally stopped.. Now the wait to be able to test or see a/f on Monday.
December 18th- I took a home test on sunday the 16th got a bfn again!! Still no sign of a/f.. This wait is driving me bonkers!! I am going to wait another day or two and test again, if a/f does not make an appearance. I am wondering if I am just late, or is it i am testing too soon.. I dunno.. I can only hope for a bfp!! That would sure make my christmas!!
December 20th- Well still no sign of a/f and took a test yesterday and got another bfn!!
December 28th- I have given up on testing as I keep getting bfn!! No a/f!!! I am guessing I didnt ovulate this month. I dont know anymore!! It's just starting to seem hopeless!! Decemeber 30th- A/F has finally made an appearance today.
January 10th- Doing lots of bding!! This is suppose to be my fertile time but then again my cycle is alittle crazy so who knows..
January 23- I just started a herbal supplement to aid in fertility. I am really hoping it works for me. I feel like I am coming to the end of my rope with this. I dont know what else to do.
February 2- a/f arrived today. Hoping I am getting back on track.
February 16- I have no idea when I ovulate so we are doing the bding every other day. I am really wishing this is my month. I am trying really hard not to stress over it. I figure I need to give the herbal pills time to do their stuff.. I have read some women have taken up to six months to get pregnant on them. So I am trying really hard to patient.
February 22- Well I have been pretty crampy off and on this week. I am not sure why. My a/f is not due for another week if i was on a 28 day cycle.. But who knows what cycle I am on. My last one was 34 days and the previous was 41 days. Been on the herbs for 4 weeks now. These cramps really feel like the ones I had when I was pregnant, but I really dont think that's what is going on because my breasts are not sore. I didnt feel cramps like this till i was about 5 weeks pregnant but my breasts were very sore from the start. I am not sure if it's a/f coming sooner or what is going on..
February 29- The camps have passed. They lasted about a week or so.
March 5th - a/f showed up today..
March 27th- I have purchased a clearblue fertility monitor. Sadly I have to wait until the beginning of my next cycle to start using it. I am on my 2ww but not very hopefull.
April 5th- A/F arrived today. My cycles are starting to get alittle shorter. I am hoping I am finally getting back on track so I can see a bfp.
April 11-12 just starting using my fertility monitor. So far no fertile days yet!
April 19- I was getting very discouraged at the fact I was still on one bar (low fertility) on my monitor. Today is day 14 of my cycle and I finally just went up to two bars (high fertility). What tells me, all this time I have been going by ovulation calendars and they were always off. My ovulation calendar says I should be ovulating today, yet my monitor tells me I am not and still have one bar on it to go to reach peak.
May4th- Just an update... Taking a break for a bit.. My new Cycle is to start this week.. The fertility monitor told me I didnt ovulate this month. So really discouraged...
May 7th-A/f Arrived June 8th- A/F
I have put ttc on hold while I plan our wedding after 12 years being together we are finally going to make it official!!
Comments on ~Bridget~`s Profile
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Comments 101-125 to ~Bridget~
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joes-wife - Thursday, 21 Feb
I just stopped by your page to first of all say thanks for the comment. Kepp you head up and I'll do the same and before you know it we'll both be blessed with a healthy pregnancy! Keep in touch!
naj - Thursday, 21 Feb
Hi Bridget. Thanks for your post and wishes. I see why your OB might not want to give you the drugs but maybe they can do the follicular tracking ultrasounds to actually see if you are ovulating or not... and if you are, than they will tell you the exact time when to bd (before that, your husband should abstain so as to build up the sperm count). It might be expensive to have so many ultrasounds in a month but if you are covered, go for it. It will also give you some idea what is happening in your body.... maybe you are ovulating (hence no need of drugs as your OB says) but something is stopping the egg released to be fertilized (so many reasons) or maybe egg is fertilized but the fertilized egg is not attaching itself to the uterus (miscarriage). There are so many things that can go wrong, but what is it for you?? Step by step... it will all work out. Don't loose hope. I don't know you at all but something in my heart tells me you are going to get the big +ve soon.
tiffanygannutz - Thursday, 21 Feb
I'm doing ok just tired and still getting sick all the time. I know what you mean about the monitors. I had tried the bbt, and the peeing on the stick but we justed ended up say forget it and bded everyday. I wish you lots of baby dust!!!
maza - Thursday, 21 Feb
Hello georgeous girl. A new month a new hope. I have just had my AF and for the first time i was really relieved my cycle only went for 25 days which is really wierd for me. Anyway I just know that last month was pretty awful, My husband has also been diagnosed with depression and we only had BD once in the last 4 weeks, which leads to arguments and what nots. But I am done being negative about everything. I think things are going to change. I hve a good feeling about you. Good luck this time around my thoughts and prayers are with you.
tiffanygannutz - Thursday, 21 Feb
Hey, just checking in on you to see how you are doing.
melindamae - Wednesday, 20 Feb
I am as confused as ever at this point! At 10 days post AF due, she finally came, along with (for me) very bad cramps and back pain. I am even more confused about this as I have NEVER been more than 1 day off on AF starting. Now I don't know when I will ovulate or if something's wrong, like this was possibly another pregnancy and now I'm m/c with a crampy heavy period, I just don't know, and I hate it. I am very emotional and don't know what to think, I never had any pre-AF cm and have been an emotional wreck. It's almost as if this is a super period, every thing is amplified, my cramps, emotions, hunger, etc. My nipples aren't really sore now and my breasts aren't as heavy. Thanks so much for your comments and support the past few days. I guess I'm back to ttc, month 5. It seems so crazy that we got pregnant the very first try and m/c and now........................
ourlittlehogi - Wednesday, 20 Feb
let me know how it goes or if i can give you any other info! i'd love to help you learn since soooo many people helped me and i feel so empowered. i honestly have never known my body as well as i do now. good luck!!
spencerbaby1 - Monday, 18 Feb
Thanks, lots of baby dust to u! what kind of herbal supplement are you taking? i started taking Vitex which is supposed to help. its a herbal supplement too
ourlittlehogi - Monday, 18 Feb
hey bridget, this might get a little lengthy. i read your story and it is a little similar to mine (except for the PCOS part). i saw that you were asking about natural solutions and wanted to ask if you have ever done basal body temperature and tracked your fertility signs? it is a completely natural way to know exactly what your body is doing....when you are ovulating, when to expect AF and even to know if you are probably preggo before taking a test. i have used fertilityfriend.com in the past and it is a great way to stay organized. all you have to do is take your temperature before you get out of bed in the morning and keep track of it on the computer. i'm reading a book called 'Taking Charge of your Fertility' and charting on paper right now. we can plan our BD'ing days around when we O. also, i learned through charting that my progesterone levels are low...which makes it difficult to carry a pregnancy through the first trimester (b/c progesterone is the hormone that does all the feeding before the placenta kicks in). my midwife said this is a very common problem and a big cause of 1st trimester losses. charting helped me figure it out (i thought i might have PCOS too, my midwife thinks it just a progesterone problem). which is remedied by using progesterone creme on your skin the 2nd half of your cycle (or 16 weeks into the pregnancy if you conceive.). whew...ok, this is getting toooo long! i'd love to talk more if this is an avenue your interested in exploring. don't let some dumb old doc scare you into thinking your body isn't going to work for you ~ that's baloney. there are a lot of natural options out there that can be so amazing, cost effective and pain free!!! good luck!
bekah123 - Monday, 18 Feb
Thanks for the comment. Yeah I had much more questions but I didn't wanna ask him anything else b/c he made me feel like an idiot. He didn't even really come in and talk to me he just took what the nurse wrote down that I said. I have been overweight my whole life and so is the rest of my family. My mom has always been big and she had 3 of us. She has been on weight watchers before and lost like 100 pounds but ended up gaining it back. My fiance is also overweight and we are gonna get his sperm checked. I was also telling the doctor that we were trying to lose weight and he just brushed that off like we weren't even doing anything. But I know my body too and I have never experienced that, that I did this last month. All I know is he is not God and he can't tell me whats going on with my body unless he is willing to do some tests to make sure everything down there is ok BESIDES the weight. Doctors make it seem like its just really easy lose weight...HA...its just like any drug or cigarrette. I am so sorry about your losses though. Have the done tests to see why you might be having the miscarriages? Good luck to you and it was nice talking to you.
naj - Monday, 18 Feb
Hi. Sorry for your losses. I too had a tough time conceiving because of PCOS and blocked tubes but I am happy to say I am 31 weeks pregnant today. Don't loose hope. With PCOS, it's difficult to ovulate so ask your doctor for some fertility drugs that will help you ovulate. You will be monitored (ultrasound every other day) during the time you will be expected to ovulate and they will tell you exactly when to bd. Best of luck
~annalyn~ - Sunday, 17 Feb
Hiya, thank you for your help I am going to test again tomorrow and hopefully it will be darker! I hope you get a BFP very soon. take care :)
melindamae - Sunday, 17 Feb
Heading off to lounge on the couch. Hope your Sunday is relaxing, I have to clean and figure my checking account, yuck! Have a good, what's left of the, weekend.
Melinda
melindamae - Sunday, 17 Feb
I just did the one on day 4. They are sooo expensive I thought I would try the 25mIU today and either confirm with the early or in this case save the sensitive one for a few days from now or next month. I am not really stressing over it, just confused and agravatted about not knowing for sure. I am still having the pulling sensation. I am pretty convinced I'm preggo, but a confirmation would be nice. There are a couple of other ladies in the same boat as me with the really regular periods that are several days late and still getting neg too, so I am not the only one. I am incouraged though because one of them who was 6 days late got a very very very faint positive today so......
melindamae - Sunday, 17 Feb
I was at the doctors office, and yes they have a lab, last month about the time I was having the weird spotting instead of a full on period for a sinus infection and asked the nurse how long it would take to get a blood preg test result back and she said a week :( I would have gone in the beginning of this week if I would have know it was going to be like this, but at the beginning I just figured by the time the blood results were in I would know one way or another. apparently not! Last time I got my positive on the end of day 4 so I was still not worried about the neg at that point but this is just ridiculous. a full week! One lady posted me saying her sister didn't get a positive on a hpt until FOUR MONTHS. I will probably get a blood test on Thur. while I'm at the doctor's office anyway. Thanks for your imput and advice, how are you doing?
melindamae - Saturday, 16 Feb
Well I managed to wait 3 days to test again at 7 day late for AF. And still BFN (25mIU tests). What the HELL! Still no signs of AF, no spotting, nothing. My nipples are still killing me and my breasts are now a quite a bit more heavy (I think anyway). Last night I ate dinner (admittedly a light one) at 8:30 and by 10:30 when I was trying to go to sleep I thought I would never get to sleep I was sooo hungry. My low back is killing me and I'm still being a B****! I JUST WANT TO KNOW, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!!! I am going to the doctor for something unrelated on Thur and if I am still in limbo then I will have them do a blood test. It takes a week to get them back though so it won't do much good on the wanting to know something front.
Melinda
~annalyn~ - Saturday, 16 Feb
Hiya! I hope you are well. I am 6 days late, I tested this morning and got a very very faint positive line. Does it still count as positive? I have put the pictures on my home page. Please help me!
melindamae - Friday, 15 Feb
Well I am now in my 6th day of no AF so....... I had been using the 25mIU tests, but finally broke down and bought a First Response that is supposed to be more sensitive at about 65mIU and I took it the evening of the 4th day (after holding urine for 4 hrs, I might add) and it too was neg. I am so confused, but regardless of the neg tests I still for some reason believe I am pregnant, BUT I'm to the point where I have stopped stressing about it and just consider the missed af a positive sign. I have been naseated the past 2 mornings HOWEVER, I have also had a mild migraine/sinus headache that could also be causing the nausea, I can't tell for sure. Nipples are still sore and breasts are a bit more tender and a bit more heavy. The sinus headache and running nose, congestion (but I am prone to sinus infections, so again not sure). I'm still having the pulling/pressure sensation in my lower right abdomen (I don't know what else could possibly cause this for 2+ wks). I am hungry, hungry, hungry, but I can't seem to eat a lot, gassy, bloated and gaging when I brush my teeth (I had this last time for sure, but it could just be because I'm already naseated). There are so many if's, but I just am unable to believe I could be 6 days late and NOT be pregnant. The only 2 times I have EVER missed a period was in college when a huge dedline coinsided just right with my cycle to funk it up with way too much stress. And I am not really stressing about this, just want it, I don't in any way feel like it's a lost cause so it's not like I'm super anxious, just excited about the prospect it could be this month so I don't really think stress would be an issue. Can you say CONFUSED. Thanks for your support and I will keep you posted.
Melinda
tiffanygannutz - Friday, 15 Feb
Happy Valentine's Day!
wander - Thursday, 14 Feb
Hey there.. Thanks for the Valentines wishes. Hope you and your significant other have a great night.
roseyleee - Thursday, 14 Feb
Hi Bridget! Thanks for the Valentines. Right back at ya! Heres hoping that St Valentine will bring you a beautiful baby!! Baby Dust to you !! xxx
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