Ok all you girls that have tried the cry it out method and it worked for you I have an issue..My daughter is 7 months old this week and has NEVER fell asleep on her own but once about a month ago..She either has to have a bottle or needs rocked and sang too..It is alot of work and I mean this is at all nap times and bedtime and she still wakes up a few times a night..I am pregnant again and want this to change, so I have been trying the cry it out method or feuber method, but the problem is she gets even madder when I step in the room and talk to her or try to calm her..She thinks I should pick her up..So should I not even step in the room and just let her cry or do I still try to soothe her..I mean how can I soothe her and not pick her up and it isn`t going to work when she is still crying louder..Also she has been waking up at night once I finally do get her down at her bedtime at 12 she wakes up crying about every 2 hours..She just screams out in her sleep..I am not forsure what is causing it but I can pat her on the back or give her a few sips of her bottle and she falls asleep again, but it just concerns me why she does it..I would greatly appreciate some advice on how to fix this problem..Thanks Everyone.!!
I have 2 boys, both in which I used the cry it out method. Let me say first off that you have to make sure there are no other reasons the baby is crying other than they just want mommy. In that I mean,.. they are not gassy, have fever, full diaper, etc. With my oldest, I made the mistake of cosleeping with him when he was born. Being a new and very protective mom, I wanted to have him as close to me as possible so I could feel him breathe. When I finally decided he needed to be in his own bed and learn a sense of self soothing and detachment, I had a very difficult time. My doctor told me that crying does not hurt the baby. It hurts us more than them! What I would do is after about 10 minutes of crying, I would go in, soothe him by giving a paci and leaving the room. I did not pick him up, cuddle him, sing to him, read a story etc. I just went in to make sure he was ok (no spit up or anything) and left. He would of course start crying again, and I would go back, but this time at a longer time interval.. about 20 minutes. I did the same thing and each time extended the amount of time before I went in the room. He would cry and cry.. up to an hour. But, after about 2 days, he knew I was not far away and was able to soothe himself to sleep. He has been a wonderful sleeper ever since. With my second, I put him in his own bed from day 1. But, at 3 months when he really didnt need night time feedings, I used the same method and it worked great. I know a lot of parents dont believe in cry it out, and that is fine. I never neglected my children and always checked on them in intervals to make sure they were ok. Both boys have been great sleepers since they were 3 months old. I have never had problems getting them to take naps or go to bed for the night. Hope this helps and good luck to you!
My son was/is the same exact way… So i just let him fall asleep with a bottle.. instead of formula i put warm water in there and just let him fall asleep with that… and even when he refuses to sleep sometimes and is crying/screaming i go in there lay him back down give him his bottle again and try it all over.. Sometimes when i know hes sick or teething bad after unsuccessfully getting him to go to sleep i do hold him til he calms down and gets drowsy then put him in the crib…good luck! i am also pregnant with our second
With our first, we tried letting her cry it out once or twice but we didn’t stick to it because it was too hard- until she was about a year and we were still rocking her to sleep. Eventually we had to just deal with it. She would get more angry any time I went in the room and would stand up in her crib and grab onto me to take her out. It was awful! So, instead of going in, I would peek through the door to make sure she was ok (hadn’t gotten stuck in her blanket or something) but I had to leave her until she fell asleep on her own. The first 2 nights were by far the worst (and by that, I mean God Awful), but then she got the hang of it, and by a week, it was all over. And she could get herself back to sleep when she did wake up, without me having to comfort her. Of course, she still had a pacifier then, so that helped a bit. When we recently took that away, we had to do it all over again, but we waited waay too long to take it away 🙂 I wish you the best of luck!! Just remember that you are only trying to teach her how to self soothe and, in the long run, it’ll be easier for both you AND her. Good luck!!
When our son was 6 months (now 27 months) old my Scottish grandmother in-law (whom has 6 kids of her own and help raise my husband) said to try water with a little sugar in it.. not a lot… because our son was waking up screaming because he was used to eating… we tried that it helped some…. then fathers day my husband decided that he was going to let him cry it out…. every 10 mins he would go in and check on him… not touch or talk to him just check to make sure he wasn’t wet, gotten sick etc… then would sit outside his door…. he did this 1 night for about an hour and it worked! Our son sleeps usually 12 hours a night and has a 2 1/2 hour nap!! He still wakes if he is scared, sick etc…. My advice try the cry out method!! Hope this helps!
it was horrible when we did it. but it only took THREE days. we still put him to sleep. then we’d lay him down. We started this at 6 months. He would cry and cry when he woke up. But we wouldnt go in, we wouldnt try to soothe. because he would just want to be picked up. BUT he’d always go back to sleep. by day four, he was sleeping through the night. and woke up everyday as happy as could be. now he is 25 months, gets put in bed every night. falls asleep on his own. sleeps all night long. it may hurt to hear your baby cry (i used to just lay on my bed and listen to him cry, and try not to bawl). but it will be beneficial.
i ended up having to take my katie to a sleep school nursery thing. she was a huge buba and my back couldnt handle it anymore..the way i was taught by then and it did work.maek every time she goes for a sleep a rountine hting like she knows that nappy change and a certain song or somthing specific she can associate it with sleeptime..eg. beign wrapped up was a good one) also buy a lil cd player to play baby music softly in the background. ( we got one for her room)and i layed her down dont get into conversation or to much eye to eye contact and layed her down and walked out.. ok so shes goan scream and if you like to at a 10 min timelots go in pat her on the back tell her shes ok and its sleeptime and walk out.. or her forhead watever…keep things simple and routine.. its more a controled crying.. it workd for us and the other mothers that wher ther as well.. goodluck i really hope this makes sence iam writing this in a hurry
Thanks guys I am definately going to try your advice sounds to me like I am just going to have to let her cry for a couple of nights because like I said when I try to soothe her she just gets mad and crys worse..She will not take a pacifier so thats not a option and she doesn’t yet hold her own bottle so I would still be trying to feed her with a bottle…She is always fed, diapered, and no problems what so ever when I put her down it is just that she wants to be rocked to bed and someone holding her..She got really spoiled when she had acid reflux and we had to hold her up after every feeding and the only way to get her to sleep was rocking her back and forth very hard..It was weird but it soothed her somehow and she could fall asleep and well now she is depedent on it..It wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t have another baby coming, but we do and I just can’t keep it up..
OK here’s what you do I had that prob with my oldest, first give her a warm bath let her play in it, then once it’s time for bed put her in bed with her bottle, if she cries let her cry out she will wear herself out don’t go running in there just ignore it do this for about a week she will ge the idea that mommy isn’t going to always come in and pick her up. Also when she wakes up give her a bottle and leave let her cry it out again and she’ll start getting the idea that it’s bed time and she don’t always have to be held or sang to at night. Also when she is crying do not go rushing in there let her scream or cry it out whatever it is she’s doing, poke your head around the door every once in awhile and make sure she’s ok. But like I said try that for about a week I think she will finally get the idea.
How long have you been trying for? It can sometimes take a while. Also, I ound that the exact same bedtime routine worked for my daughter. I still do the same thing today, she’s almost 3, that I did as a baby. Bath time, read a story while she has milk, then I shut off the lights and sing her the same 4 songs, about 5-10 mins. Then I say goodnight give her a kiss and leave. As a baby I would rock her as I sang but I always made sure she was still awake when I laid her in her crib. That way she never got used to falling asleep in my arms. I think that was key to getting her to learn to fall asleep on her own.
If you can get rid of the bottle all together, that would be a good start. Babies that want to wake up at night for a bottle, just means they don’t sleep at night well. They don’t need a bottle at night unless going through a growth spurt or are under 10lbs. It just encourages night wake ups and worse, leads to tooth decay. Whatever you do at night for routine, try to have a mini routine during the day time for naps. Good naps equal good night sleeps. Putting baby down drowsy but awake also helps them to learn to self soothe quickly. I also highly recommend a white noise machine of some kind, or cd (NOT TV!). Cry it out works, and it usually works better when your child is younger (anytime after 4 months) and takes about 3-4 nights for reality to sink in. Crying will lessen each time. I also found that it worked faster if I let him cry for 5 min at a time the first night, and went in every 5 min to pat him on the back for a total time of 20 min. That was usually how much time it took to settle. IF they are completely screaming or the cry is escalating, thats when you need to just go in and give them that cuddle. calm them down and then try the cycle over again. If they are tired enough, it will work eventually. IS it tough to hear your kid cry? yes it is. But if you can’t get through a bit of crying now, then it just gets tougher as they get older. Being a mom means you need to say no to your child. That is how they learn what is right and what is wrong. It won’t hurt the baby, as long as they know that you love them through the whole process and you are meeting their needs (dry diaper etc). I have 2 kids- you can read more on my profile about their sleep habits. But one is 3 and one is almost 5 months and they are both sleeping 12 hours at night and falling asleep pretty much by their own selves- with the help of white noise. I kept notes on they got to be independent with sleep on my profile page, to help others. I know how stressful a sleep deprived child can be- both to themselves and you!
she needs to learn how to self soothe, it’s a difficult process, but better for her in the end. and better for you by the sounds of it! if you know she is not hungry, or needs to be changed, just let her cry it out. dont go in her room at all. it’s hard to restrain yourself, especially if she cries for long periods of time but will benefit both of you after the course has run. good luck!
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