if I am pregnant… I researched it, took test.. Either way, I need advice.
I am married
Have 2 kids (2 and 5 mo)
We weren`t responsible as we should`ve been
I don`t want to be pregnant (which is why after I take my next test, I have an apt for birth control)
I had 2 c sections
I kept going into labor with my second we kept him in until he was 37weeks (I went into labor 1 or 2ce a week in august, finally the last time I went in labor we took him out)
And shortly after I got a uterus infection.
I am so scared if I am or if I get preg again my body won`t be able to take it and the baby or myself will die.. Especially since the way it was with my son..and since its so soon after a 2nd c section..

Anyway besides all that drama, I`d have to face the judging on my family and inlaws. Ill have to hear you 2 are dumb, what were you thinking, and a possibility that my parents won`t talk to me for a while.. I don`t want to hear anything, I am an adult, we live on our own, and were married, we can have as many kids as we want.
But at the same time, I`d be embarrassed. I`ve been looking online at aborted fetuses and womens stories to prevent me actually doing something like that. I am a Christian and I always said I couldn`t ever do that. Now I`m possibly in the situation and I don`t know what to do or say. I always said God doesn`t give us anything we can`t handle..
I don`t want to get an abortion, I want that thought out of my head.. Help what do I do (besides safer sex for now on)