So I am not a judgemantal person but what I see kids are making kids breaks my heart then I see kids on here that are having kids then I think where is the world going this girl I know she is 15 already 19weeks pregnant and really breaks my heart like I`m wondering what are the parents alowing this to happen it just really breaks my heart coz they have they whole life ahead of them getting kids on that early age is really not a game
At 16 I was a better mom than some 40 year olds that I know so that has nothing to do with it as far as blaming parents my mom didnt even know I was having sex so I dont think they can be blamed I went to school came home everyday as normal my mom had no reason to think that i was till i turned up pregnant she was upset put me out and soon as i had her grandbaby i had to fight her for the baby bc she was so in love she tried to take over god is good no matter of age a baby is a special giftand god will take care of his children
I had my first daughter at 16 went on to finish high school i worked ever since that age my mom and sister helped me watch the baby i later got married at 18 stayed married for almost 13 years then seperated we had two kids in that time and now am having a baby for my bf anyhow what am trying to say is you can still have a life it all depends on the amount of support that you have I am not saying that its the best decision in the world but with the family I have if i can start over I would actually still have my children when i did I never lacked anything bc I always had a very strong family support.
I’ve been thinking about this question over the past half hour and would also like to add that while I was pregnant with my first, I heard a lot of quiet comments not meant for my ears to the effect of, ‘she shouldn’t be having kids, she’s not old enough to look after herself, let alone a baby’. I was kicked out of home when I was 15 with NO support, financial or otherwise, from anyone but myself. I was eligible to receive payments from the government, but chose not to as I wanted to prove my responsibility. That’s just one more piece of evidence in my, ‘you have no idea whether they can or cannot handle a baby’ point of view. These nasty people making their snide comments behind my back had no idea that I had been fending for myself for several years before having a child and I was, in fact, emotionally and financially capable of supporting this life, even if he was not planned. Sorry, this question has really put my back up. And to say, ‘how can the parents allow this to happen’ is just laughable and shows ignorance. Maybe what irks me most about this question is the hypocrisy in saying that you’re not judgemental. This does NOT excuse the judgemental behaviour you have exhibited in all your comments. That’s like saying, ‘no offense, but I’m about to offend you’. Everyone is entitled to their opinion on this matter, but be honest instead of trying to hide behind moral pretension.
First off I will start off by saying I would never how for any teenager getting pregnant. I wouldn’t want them to miss out on their childhood. With that being said, I do not believe age determines your capability of being a parent. I think if you are willing to stand up raise your child and work hard to support it then good for you. Me and my husband provide everything for our children. We we want more kids. Neither of us have a great degree under our belts or anything. I go to school and take care of our kids and steven works. We supply everything our kids need and most of their wants. We did need public assistance for a little bit because his work got slow, but he found a second job. So I don’t believe its right for people to say that someone who needs public assistance shouldn’t have kids. My mom was a single mother of four and worked hard everydayto support us. She also had public assistance while working and going to school for 5 years. That didn’t make her any less qualified.
People are people, no matter what age. Having a child can make you grow up quickly, or it can have no effect on your maturity at all. You can be a great mum or you can be a shitty mum. It is sad when really young girls fall pregnant because there are aspects of their lives they won’t be able to experience. But who’s to say they WANT to follow the herd? To not congratulate a young girl because she’s pregnant is, actually, judging them, and forcing your judgement on them, which is really quite despicable. It may not be YOUR ideal situation, but that’s life. I had my first when I was 18 and he is a healthy, happy, well-adjusted boy who has a secure roof over his head, food in his belly and clothes and shoes to wear. I am still with his father and we have since had two more children and one on the way. Yes, there are some young mums out there who don’t have a clue. There are also ‘appropriately aged’ mothers out there who don’t have a clue. You can’t say ‘if you live with your parents, you shouldn’t have kids’. I know a couple who have a new baby and are living with his parents because they’re saving for a house of their own. It is unfair to paint everyone with the same brush and, yes, judge them, because you have no idea what their lives entail and you have no idea whether they can or cannot handle a baby.
you should have known this would be a contravertial topic, so if you dont want people to post if they have a different opinion to you then why raise the subject in the first place. i 110% agree age is just a number. whether you are 15 or 35 your still a “first time mum” and age doesn’t quarantee maturity or financial responsibility. my friend practically raised her bro and sis due to her mums health issues after an accident. she was only 12 and had to grow up quick. yes children having children is sad but only if that mother is not willing to step up to the resposibilty and still wants to be a “child!” living of mum and dad as it was put is no different to the people who life off state that cant be bothered to work. im my opinion people like that shouldn’t have children either. lets start a debate about that one too shall we…. i think not!
There are just as many bad adult parents as there are teen parents.I know if I was a teen mom, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it, I had my 1st at 23 & it was stressful at that age. So I don’t think age really matters, but I’m for telling young girls “go have a baby”. I know some younger mom’s that are better mother’s than some older mothers. Personally I think, people should have to take a test & pass it to become parents.
Someone mention that a girl should be put on minera as soon as they start their period, seriously!? You are asking a 11-13 year old to go to a gynecologist to get minera? That’s ridiculous. Well I guess we will just have to agree to disagree. “I’m not the judgmental type but” Good luck raising your children and hope they never have kids at a young age, what will they do with judgmental and close minded parents. See how hypocrite that sounded.)
Oh, I hope no one took my post as judgemental. Yes, I was 19 when I had my first child. I would never judge a person based on their age. I just know that I do not want my children being teen parents. I know what a struggle it was for me and I had already graduated high school, was married (but seperated when I found out I was pregnant, and evenually divorced), and in college. I think that if there is a will there is a way no matter how old the parent and that there are good and bad parents of all ages. I just hate seeing young girls PURPOSELY getting pregnant at 14 and 15 years old for the simple fact that it is going to be so rough on them and they are literally still so young. I know that back in the old days most women were married by then and had a kid or two by sixteen. I just do not want that life for my sons or daughters and discuss with them regularly about how much time they will have for relationships and babies in their life even if they wait and have them in their 20’s instead of when they are in high school. I didn’t have my children in high school but soon thereafter and I wouldn’t change a thing but I do realize that had I done things differently, their younger days would have been spent more with me than in some form of childcare while I was working and going to college. I am not the only one who struggled from having them young, even though they do not realize it, they missed out on things as well.
I read through all these comments and debated on whether I wanted to say anything at all but I think something that hasnt been thrown into the mix should be addressed. I am speaking from a very neutral opinion. A lot of times, opinions and what is right or wrong is based off of demographics, religion, social status, etc. I could go on and on. I was raised in a very traditional family; it was looked down on by my family and the social grouping I was raised in to have a child before marriage so I am not even referencing an age here. I had my first at 22 and i think that was young but then again, it was how I was raised and the norm I was accustomed too. Now, some others might not have been raised that way; it might have been ok or even encouraged to have children young. I know many people and have many friends who did not possess the smae values that my parents instilled in me however I dont necessarily think they were wrong. I think we can all agree that we want our children and other peoples children to thrive and have the best possible life and to have that life doesnt always mean they have to have money, possesions or education; simply a loving environment. I dont pass judgement on young girls who get pregnant- I got pregnant during my last semester of college; I started having sex when I was 17. For the life of me, I am not sure how I never got pregnant before then because I wasnt using protection although my parents had always educated me on the conseqences of being sexually active. I do hurt for the young girls who TRY for children when they are so young and have yet to even finish school whether it be high school or even college. I want to hug them and tell them that there is no rush. But take a look around at TV, radio, magazines; you cant ignore the fact that sex is everywhere and children are starting to have sex younger and younger and younger. This is what our society has deemed acceptable and it “sells”. Teenagers and adolescents already are hormonal, have self-esteem issues and peer pressure, no wonder what is portrayed as cool is what they do. No one tells them about the aftermath or the trials they will endure whether it be good or bad; its still hard even for grown women. I sincerely see everyones point. I dont think the initial question was to say that young mothers are bad mothers- I think it was simply saying that it is sad that this is what society has established as a norm and just like mummyof1 and everyone else one here, it does and should break our hearts because its not always planned, its not always under the best circumstances and alot of us can relate to being a young mom. But I also think that passing judgement on these young, vunerable girls in a time when they need someone most is cruel. These girls, especially during such a trying time, need comfort and encouragement so that they can educate their children and are motivated to be loving (even if young) parents.We have a lot of knowledge because we have been there and done that and we have endured. Passing on our experiences and knowledge, no matter how different, can really make a difference in a young girls life. I hope I did not offend anyone has I wasnt trying to, I just think there is a lot under the skin that can be revealed if pulled back a little.
ok this is just rude and vindictive to even think posting a question like this would not get such a huge feedback, you knew full well what was gonna happen putting a JUDGEMENTAL question like this up, and to me thats very childish! it is in no ones place to look any which girl thats pregnant and judge them for their age or say their parents let it happen. and girls playing with dolls at 15 still? really? reality is we are in a very different generation girls are dating younger and having relationships younger i had a boyfriend at 15 and we were together all 4 years of high school and we definately were having sex and you think my parents knew!? i was so involved with athletics they would have never known! and people saying girls should be mandatorially put on birth control!? that is very ignorant! i have never once taken birth control in my life and i am 21 and have been very sexually active since 15 and have been smart about it, i didnt take it cause i didnt want i didnt cause i cant not every girls body reacts to birth control in a healthy way for them. and back to the age thing, i dont care if your 20 or 40 that doesnt determine a mother or a secure financial situation i know plenty of people older than me in far worse financial spots, no my pregnancy was not planned but i will fully well be able to support my baby on just what i make alone. and if your putting this out there about young moms what about older moms? my BFs parents are in their 50s with a ten year old and eleven year old and he says all the time how different it was for them to grow up having older parents with less energy and already are accustomed to their lives they dont change much than for him when they were in their 30s, i for one had young parents and loved it my dad was like having another brother and we did alot of active hobbies through my whole life. all in all its no ones place to even say anything about it on something like this because you dont know a persons situation, you saying you had your first at 19 could be looked at as young to some people
I do not feel that 14, 15, 16 year old girls should be out having sex and producing babies but that is probably because I have five, soon to be six, children and I do not want them to do these things until they are mature enough to handle all of the consequences that come along with such adult desicions. That being said, I am also realisitic and do not blame the parents for the things their children choose to do. I was having sex at age 17 although I made the mature decision to protect myself from getting pregnant at this time. But, I also recognize now that at anytime the method of birth control that I chose could have failed for it has for me as an adult. I had my first child at 19. I had been on my own since age 17 and knew that I could support him as well as myself. No, we did not live a life full of granduer but we had a roof over our heads and food on the table and I worked for all that we had. I struggled and raised him alone for a long time. I also had been raising children since I was 12. My neighbor was a junky (an adult) and gave me her child (more or less). No, I did not pay for his support (neither did she though, she was on welfare and other forms of assistance) but I provided the majority of all supervision, love, nurturing, and care that this child received until after several years ( I had him daily and throught he entire summer, my mother kept him while I was in school) I contacted his father about the dire conditions that his mother was offering him and his father got custody (he is a beautiful 19 year old young man now who was raised by an awesome father, stepmother, and grandmother). I think that it could go both ways. I do not think young girls should purposely get pregnant, there are millions of things that they should be focused on instead of sex and babies. There are good and bad mothers of all ages in many different economic conditions. I truly do not think that a person should judge another simply based on these criterion. Statistically I am aware of the fact that probably more than one of my six children will end up being a teen parent and I hope that I am capable of handling the situation, should it arise, in a way that will not hurt any of the parties involved in any manner. I also hope and pray that none of them are teen parents for I know that it is truly much harder for them in the long run.
mummyof1, it is somewhat difficult to read your comments. However, to say no 15 or 16 year old should think about sex is like telling a dog not to eat a bone. The world isn’t going to Hades because girls are falling pregnant. The world is going to Hades because of the abhorrent intolerance of a growing number of our population.
Lol no comment to the yong moms I say I disablieve yong kids should not think about sex at that time at all I dunno why u guys bring age in the mater I’m not talking about big adults yong adult I’m talking about kids that truly discusting in my eyes wheter u ladies get pissed wether u have shitty attitudes agains it relly don’t care about it at age of 15 or 16 u should plan ur life have nice life go out not have sex and bring a kid in the life when u already still a kid wether it workds dif in uk well in s.a iits wrong just shows u where this world is reslly going to but any way enjou just don’t get offendid by this lol
Faybebaby not at all. I’m not an easily offended person. I know you didn’t mean anyone on public assistance and I agree people should work to get off of it:) I have a cousin who plans to die on welfare just because she doesn’t want to work. I think it is wrong and she should be cut off!
Wow, lots of opinions here! Personally I think it’s too bad that these young girls will never know what they are missing by sacraficing their youth to raise a child. If done right, parenting takes up most of your time and if you manage to finish school it’s only through great determination. Or the lucky ones have parents who take care of their baby for them, but thats not a nice thing to do to your parents after they already put their time in raising kids. I think a teen can absolutely be a good mom, but she will miss out on the best part of her life just cause she couldnt wait a couple years. Kids are gonna do what they want anyway, it’s too bad it takes getting older to understand how we wasted our youth. Btw I’m not saying teen mothers lead completely un-fulfilled lives, babies are a joy and a blessing for everyone. I’m just saying they will still be a joy and a blessing in your 20’s, and you only get to be young once.
I had my first child at 16 and my second at 18. That being said, it was hard, but we have a great life. i am now 29, have a wonderful job and husband (who just happens to be the father), and my kids want for nothing. On the other hand I had an abusive, mean, and neglectful mother. We had FACTS (childrens services) constantly being called on us, very often had no food in our house, and my mother almost never had money to buy us clothing or shoes as she would spend her welfare on herself. That being said she was 28 when she had me. Kids should not have kids when they are young because they miss out on an important part of growing up. BUT just because a mother is young it does NOT make her a bad mom.
@mari1215 the diffrence between the older mothers and the young ones are they are still children!!!!!!!! It pisses me off don’t get defensive because you were a teen mom…My sister had a baby when she was 16 and ask her how that went. If your still getting your high school education and living under your parents roof you should not be raising a child. I think it should be mandatory that any girl should get the mirena when they start there periods!!!! It is a fact when these kids have baby…that 80% end up single parents and 70% live in poverty and 78% of the grandparents raise them!
i agree i dnt judge them at all becuase one day they will look back and say why didnt it wait kids are not suppose to have kids i mean thats just wrong but its heart sore i do not congrats him wen i did found out this girl was pregnant i just told her im ver dissapointed in her and just the odther day she came to me and told me bianca i made a mestake this is not what i wanted but do u know i dint feel sorry for her i felt sorry for that little baby she has inside her
Honestly it really angers me to see the responses to this question “the children suffer and its seems like the teens don’t care” ?? Don’t base your criticism on one or a few teens you see or hear about! I can’t believe people can be so ignorant. I know some really great mothers who in fact are teens and doing everything for their kids. And yes I had my son at 16 he is heathly and lives a very happy life he has never missed out on anything and has everything he needs, wants and more. There are so so many bad mothers that are older but no one says anything, right?
See im kind of split opinion on this one as I know a couple of girls that have had babies at 14/15 and have been great mothers and given thier children a great start to life, but I also know some girls and believe me some are not that young that have kids because they love the attention that they get but still go out partying ect even when their pregnant. Now that is selfish! Some people are willing to bring children into the world but are to selfish to change their lives for them. I think girls should enjoy themselves first, live a little, go on holidays make the most of a life where you only have to look after yourself first before having children!
I think the problem is that there is no surefire birth control and most people are too strong willed to wait until their twenties to try sex for the first time. But isn’t it a good sign if a 15-year-old is involved in her pregnancy enough to join this site and start learning about her condition and well-being? Here’s something I found interesting from a social work statistic I heard many years ago – more than 80% of teen mothers become pregnant from men over 21. You always hear talk about what’s to be done about ‘her’, but I’ve never seen an ad campaign or newsstory that tells grown men to keep it in their pants.
I agree, i was at a fall fair this weekend and i saw this girl who was probably 8 months pregnant, she was probably only about 16 years old and to top it off she was smoking! I almost lost my mind. I’m 25 and i still think wow am I ready for this,and im settled married have a career. I couldn’t imagine being that young. So sad!
I was a kid having a kid, it wasn’t my parents fault they taught me right from wrong and I just didn’t listen, I didn’t even have alot of freetime with sports and school, so they were shocked & very upset when I told them I was prego. So with that being said, although I did have my son at 17 my hubby was 19, we did not struggle and no my parents didn’t raise him for me I worked my butt off, I was not a mother who didn’t care, he actually changed my life for the good, me & my hubby worked hard to pay his daycare and such, we both finished school and have gone on to have very good jobs. Yes, my situation was not ideal, but I made it work for the good and my child did not suffer. Me & my hubby have been together 14 years and our son just turned 12, we are a very happy family of 8. So I think the stereotype of teenage moms is a bit tainted by the ones who don’t do anything with their lives, but it still makes me sad to see teenage mom’s because of how many of them don’t make better of their lives. My son changed our life for the good, I don’t know where I would be now if he hadn’t come into my life, he was a real gift to us.
Honestly, sometimes it doesnt matter what age you are when you have a kid. You shold be Both MENTALLY, & FINANCIALLY ready. If you are both, then its ok. Some older women aren’t even mentally ready and they treat their children bad, or are still living in poverty. I just think if you aren’t BOTH then dont have a child please. That’s all. Because like some say here, they had a child at a young age and made it, then they were ok to have a child. Once again, some women are older and neglect their children or cant financially take care of them. So, sometimes age might not matter. Just give that baby a good life!!!
nstone….Everyone has their own opinions. Im doing what is best for my life just like you are doing what is best for yours. My first was unplanned for the record but now i trying for second. I been with my boyfriend for five years, he has an amazing job, and we have a house. My son will be three soon and i dont want a huge age gap. I dont care about going to clubs or whatever else teens are doing. Im living my life the way i want, whether others agree with it or not.
i had my first baby at 19 it was yong did finish school and did work had a hubby with a great job my baby is 1 year and 5months now and my second baby is triplets now its just this girl i know we help her now with that baby she has nothing she cant get a job at 15 nor workn now she pregnant the dif here in s.a her mother pushed her away when they found out she was pregnant but i cat let her go with nothing im thinking about that little baby that she is having he or she dint aask to be here and im so that some of u are getting so pissed about this becuase u had kids on a yong age i was not applying for anybodies rudness i was just wondering what u ladies was thinking about it and anybody was alowed with any opinion thats they saying
Yeah, it is sad. Tell me about it, I know a lot of young girls bringing innocent children into the world. I know some in my family that have done so, and it just upsets me. I dont congratulate them because they are in no situation to be bringing children into the world. It’s just sad. The children suffer and it seems like teens dont care. They see it as a game or something “cute’. I think the goverment should do something about this. They should automatically have birth control shots given in schools until they turn 18 or graduate. *I dont care how or if they think they are ready, b/c they are not. No matter what, somewhere down the line they will struggle with that poor child. And the only reason why I say this, is because I care about those children. Those poor babies that are so innocent and it aint their fault.