Please no harsh or rude comments.
I was seeing this guy and things were going well. Until I told him I was late. He was shocked because we were safe a lot of the times. He said I`m fine and that he didn`t think I was pregnant. I told him that I`m never late and that I had an appointment that Monday. After that conversation I didn`t hear from him for a couple of weeks. I was texting him after my appointments and I told him I would keep him updated. One day after one of my appointments he finally text me back and that`s when he came clean. He told me that he`s married and he wants nothing to do with the baby. I was blown away! I wasn`t expecting him to say that. I thought he needed some time to take everything in but I never thought he was married. I had looked out for all the signs they say you should look out for to see if a man is married or not and there weren`t any signs. I didn`t over look anything either. Now I`m pregnant and I`m not sure what to do. He wanted me to get an abortion but I told him that I couldn`t get an abortion and now he`s ignoring me again. He said hes open to adoption or abortion. He doesnt want to be involved in the adoption process at all. I already have a LO and I can`t picture myself giving my child up for adoption. I don`t want to ruin his family and I definitely don`t expect him to leave her for me! I didn`t even know about her! I just want him to do what is right for our child. It hurts me to know that he`s over there being a good dad to his children but he wants nothing to do with this child. Apart of me feels like I don`t have the place to feel hurt by that because they were already there but I can`t help how I feel. I upset with him that he lied to me for so long and lead me on. This is exactly why I stayed single for so long because I didn`t want to end up in a relationship where I was lied to. I want to keep the baby raise the baby. I want him to be invovled in the child`s life. He just wants this to go away because he doesn`t want to ruin the fake picture of his life that he has. Any advice?
I was in this same situation 15 years ago. The minute I found out I was pregnant, he came clean that he was married and his wife was pregnant, too! You’re absolutely right, he only wants the abortion or adoption to save face, not because it’s the right choice for you and that baby. Your body, your choice. It all comes out in the end, anyways. He wants to be a jerk? Fine. Let him ignore you. His wife will find out when she gets the papers ordering child support and he’s got to do a paternity test. His choice whether he tells her or not before hand. But completely up to you whether or not you keep the baby. I did. My son’s dad has 3 other kids with his wife (whom he’s still with) and basically ignores my son other than paying child support. His wife and I get along, actually, now that she knows it was never my intention to ruin their marriage. Just be prepared for her to be angry and hurt, and that she may take it out on you, even though it’s not your fault. Just be honest with her, and she’ll see eventually exactly what a snake he is.
