Advanced aged parenting

This topic contains 74 replies, has 43 voices, and was last updated by  AmanadaMiller 3 years, 4 months ago.

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    What are the benefits of being an older parent?


    Hello all! I am 43 and having my first baby ever (18 weeks). It was a total accident so I am a bit dismayed my life is not more in order for this little miracle (ah me, the perpetual teenager!), and also a bit frustrated by the medical community continuously calling me a ‘high-risk’ pregnancy, as if a woman ‘my age’ has a already condemned her unborn child to a life of disease and debauchery. I might add I conceived the good old fashioned way — half a bottle of vodka and a party horn!
    My mother had 2 children over 40 (when I was in high school and beyond) and they were physically fine.
    To me one of the major benefits of having children when you are older is the fact you tend to be just a bit more patient and understanding. You don’t expect perfection and I think you know that every resistance your child displays is not necessarily a battle to be fought and won by the parent.
    Nearly every ‘young’ parent in my family has been abusive, physically and emtionally; neglectful; bullying; and intent on having and conquering power struggles. I can think of few (if any) who have been all about the love. Many people who have had children in my family at an early age have quite a bit of disdain for them and have in the past encouraged me NOT to have children citing they can only ruin your life. My life may not be perfect, but I have done most of everything I have wanted to, so accident or not, I feel this child is coming to me at an emotionally perfect time. Times will be hard, but the love I have for this little stranger insided me will carry us both through, despite being a woman my age. The only risk I run is loving this kid so much he/she may never want to leave home.



    i am 38 and pregnant with my second child.At times i worry i am too old.I do not feel my age though.It is nice to read how good things turned out for all of you…very encouraging!



    Just wanted to share that I had my third child on Dec 26th. I am 39. The only time I have felt old was when my 2nd child was born and someone in walmart told me my grandchild was so cute!! I just let them think that. Afterwards I was so upset, but I tried not to let it show in the store. My hair was pretty gray at that time, since then I have colored my hair and it hasn’t happened since.



    (()) I’d of smacked her, lol. I only feel old when I hear moms ages who are having kids, lol. When moms are my neices ages (which they are) I feel old. I know they are the right ages to have babies but it reminds me I am older having had a baby. I had my third at 40. But I am proud of it and feel I am only as old as I allow myself to be and feel. ๐Ÿ™‚



    I just came back from taking my 16 month old to the pediatrician for his flu shot. Right off the bat we had this little exchange: ‘Is this your grandson?’ Sigh. ‘No. He’s my son.’ ‘Oh! I am so-o-o-o sorry!’ I’ve put off coloring my roots because it’s costly… but I reckon I better break out the Clairol this weekend. You know, I don’t mind so much for me, but I do care about when my son gets older and if he’s going to hate hearing it.



    Tess, OMG! Last year, ON MY BIRTHDAY, I might add, my husband and I went for a stroll with our 14 month old son. Some lady stops us and looks at him. I’m happy it’s my birthday and my husband is bursting with pride over the attention his son is receiving. The lady gives some baby talk then looks up at us and says ‘You have a beautiful grandson.’ AHHHHH! I have a tough time with my birthday anyway. I went home and cried!



    I have a few stories where rude, ignorant people felt the need to give their opinion on the fact that I chose to have a baby at my age, as if it was going to affect them. After a few comments I prepared myself and was ready to recite this statement. I am not asking for your opinion, help or permission, I was simply sharing my happy news.


    I’m 40yrs. old and set to deliver in 5 weeks. One of my good friends is 43 and will be a grandma in about 4 weeks! We can’t wait to take the boys for walks and are hoping people will think we’re both moms instead of grandmas… sounds like the secret is keeping those gray hairs covered!



    I am 40 with a 5 month old and everywhere I go people think he is my grandchild…I have never had anyone think he is MY child!! I went to eat at a small restaurant a couple of weeks ago and the YOUNG guy behind the counter was looking over at Ezra in his carseat and never said anything to me…that night I was looking for a receipt in my wallet and looked at THAT receipt…HE GAVE ME THE SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT!!! LOL he must have thought I was the grandmother!!! too funny!! I do not have any gray hairs!! I really think it is because we (older moms) enjoy our babies so much and it shows in public…like proud grandparents!!!



    Actually, Stacey, I really do think you are on to something about our attitude. I know I look older than when I last gave birth (I was 29), but I am SO much more relaxed and happier than when I was younger. I’ve thought mabye it’s because I’ve successfully raised an 18 year old and he didn’t manage to eat poison, have to repeat a grade several times or rob a bank! But I’ve noticed older moms who are mothers for the first time are similar in attitude. So we must just be special, LOL!



    I am glad that I found this site, everyone that I talk to is so young and having their 1st child, I am 37 and have a 10 month old. I thought for the longest time that I was the only person in the world that did this. I just came across this forum today. I have a 20 (almost year old) and when I am out in public with my kids, they think that I am the grandma and my son is the father.



    Hi there Wondaj- I too have a 20yr old. AND 18, 9,8,6,4 and 1mth! ๐Ÿ™‚



    Welcome! ๐Ÿ™‚ There are def some here ๐Ÿ™‚ I am 42, I have a 13 year old, a 9 year old and a 16 month old ๐Ÿ™‚ There are moms on here that are young enough to be my own daughter and there are moms on here who have moms my age, lol. ๐Ÿ™‚ Its a great site! Glad you found us ๐Ÿ™‚


    Wow…..I am so glad to finally find you all! I am 37 with a 2 year old and 11 weeks with another. Fortunately, most of my life I have looked younger than my age, though I do have a good bit of gray in the front. I do feel a little old though when teen girls tell me that their moms are my age. Or how about the reaction the OB has to our ‘advanced reproductive age’. If I hear another ‘well, at YOUR age….’ I will have to scream. I also get a lot of ‘don’t expect the next baby to be like your daughter, because you are older now’ Like a few years suddenly dooms me! The main thing now is that this pregnancy is wearing me out, so I am a little edgy. How does everyone keep up with the younger moms and their boundless energy?

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