Mothers in law

This topic contains 655 replies, has 226 voices, and was last updated by  Allynne7Jaime 3 years, 2 months ago.

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    No, if you get involved you become the neurotic mom they say you are.



    stargazer-i can somewhat relate to the end of your story, my hubby too has gone to help his mom if she asks, yet it takes months of reminding him to do one simple thing for me. and he isnt even that close to his mom relationship wise. i think its just how men are. he is like that with everyone though, runs out to help anyone but i have to



    Also, if she is mixing it, how is she warming it up? If she is nuking it she is ruining the breast milk. I mixed breast milk and formula for my first because I had to but I was sure to not microwave it. I cared for a little girl who had breast milk. The bottles were brought to me full and ready to serve after warming. Why not just give her the total bottles for the day already with milk in them? My LO arrived daily with a small cooler pack full of about 6 full bottles. Never had to make one. Any chance your mom can take him sooner. Maybe tell your SO to tell her no formula or he isnt returning.



    I used this forum all the time when I was pregnant with my first child two years ago… it was very busy then! It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen the evil MIL, but that hasn’t stopped her from doing mean things. But at least I don’t have to see her evil face and smell her disgusting breath anymore! Haha!


    ha me to my dh makes me wait forever to do what i ask of him. i guess thats what drives me so crazy and gets me so angry at him.



    My MIL is arriving in 2 days from Brazil and we’ve never met so I’m very nervous… Could be a good thing there is a language barrier? lol.
    Shez, I think you should just tell your mother in law firmly that as he is your son, it is your choice what he eats and if she doesn’t like it and follow your rules, she will only see her grandson when you’re present. She is just trying to be in control.. Don’t be too hard on your hubby, you know what guys are like- mummy can do no wrong!! Just be really firm, but not rude. You can take the high road! Good luck!


    okay, here goes. My in-laws are good people, they really are. They just have some… interesting character quirks and are ridiculously overinvolved in their children’s lives. To say they are pack rats is an understatement. The last time we went to go visit them, the dug this manila envelope out of their garage and gave it to my hsuband: it was a collection of random crap he picked up on the playground when he was in kindergarten. Yes. That’s right. There’s a penny that’s half-eaten by acid; the backing to an earring; a torn bit of cloth. That sort of crap. They not only kept it for nearly 20 years, but then gave it to us so WE could throw it away. DH says that’s not unusual, that his parents actually have boxes and boxes of old homework from him and his 3 other siblings.
    They keep talking about wanting to get us something for the baby (due in another 30 days!), but I’m terrfied it’s going to be another used piece of garbage they picked up at some cornerside garage sale (MIL tried buying us a used double stroller….. this pregnancy is our first, last, only kid, what do we need a dbl stroller for?).
    To make matters worse, I’m not sure how much I want them to be a part of our son’s life. MIL is a drunk (the loud, talkative, kind of obnoxious repeating-herself kind; she starts drinking beer at 8am and keeps on going). She’ll call DH at work, leave a message on his phone telling him that she’s going to call me, and then call me and leave a message on my phone that she just called him, but ‘nothing’s going on, I just felt like talkin!’
    She was calling me twice a day when my husband was out to sea and I stopped taking her calls. I emailed her and said I was tired and pregnant and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. 5 minutes after I hit ‘send’ she calls me again, leaves me a voicemail saying that I must be depressed, she thinks I’m depressed because i don’t want to talk and that I should call her right away. I got PISSED at that. I wrote another email saying I’m more than aware of what depression is. I’ve been depressed. This is not depressed. This is pregnant and bitchy. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.
    FIL … he started growing medicinal marijauna for the state and now smokes it all the time (he has bad pain issues, so I understand why he smokes, I just wouldn’t want him driving me or my kid when he’s high… and it seems like he’s high all the time now).



    mine just forgets..and sometimes so do i. but its still something i cant explain why he forgets to do something around here but not for anyone else.. i hate it when he says ‘oh yeah my friend asked this favor of me a few days ago, so im gonna take care of it’ thats when i say gee,i asked you for the past 3 months to do this one thing for yet when he wants a favor, i do it asap!


    Shez~ OK, this may be AF talking, but I would have flipped out on your MIL! Breast milk is hard to Fing come by, the amount of work put into pumping, and the dedication it t akes to get through those first couple weeks… If anyone had done that with my daughter I would be in jail…. I just pulled my daughter from her daycare because they refused to feed her organic food and milk… Also no cloth diapers, ulgh, I know I am a hippie mom but I feel that the mother has the right to make choices for her child.


    on top of all that, FIL has been asking for money for years now. DH has been sending them the equivalent of another rent every month. Now we’ve moved into a bigger house (bigger rent than apt), I’ve stopped working, and a baby coming… we’re down to one income. His family knows this. But FIL called a few weeks ago asking if he could have $500. He never says what it’s for. I’m confused because they have two other sons with jobs they can get money from; they can sell some of that crap they keep on the counters/walls/shelves/floor/garage for some money; they can trade in their 3 vehicles (2 ‘summer-camp-vans’ that get about 10mpg and a mazda that doesn’t run anymore) for a car that’s good on gas; they can stop buying crap they don’t need; they can stop spoiling their only daughter; MIL is capable of working, but doesn’t because she has no idea their finances are so bad that her oldest son has to send them money.
    My parents drilled finances into me when I was a kid (my stepdad was an accountant), so all of these seem like obvious solutions to me. I don’t understand why they cant change their lifestyle instead of putting it off by demanding money. I expressed my concern to DH about this, and he agreed. He said me and our son-to-come come first, and then if we have money left over, that’s what he’ll give his dad. I feel like such a bitch for wanting to say ‘you’ve given them thousands of dollars, you’ve never been thanked, you don’t even know WTF your hard-earned money is being spent on! Just stop giving them anything!’
    And why would I want you to buy us ANYTHING for the baby when its going to be something second-hand that we don’t want and is bought with our money anyways? God, I’m so upset, I just want to cry in frustration all over again!



    His aunt loves to call me Martha Stewart. Because I can bake and take the initiative to learn how to do stuff. It makes me so mad when she calls me that. I want to say no, I’m not Martha Stewart, I just am not lazy and stupid and don’t mind learning something so I can do for myself instead of imposing on people to do everything for me. And now she keeps making fun of my little one’s name. Every time DH talks to her she asks what her name is again, like she hasn’t been told a thousand times. We are going to name her Lorelai. I really could care less what other people think of it. She keeps commenting that it sounds like she needs to have flowers in her hair – her way of saying it’s a hippie name. Then last time they were on the phone she decided to sing a song she had made up about the name. DH laughed. I told him I found nothing funny about it. Then she started talking about how she’s going to have to give her a nickname and I told DH she would only be calling her by her name. They are calling DH’s niece Kiki. Please! Someone tries to call my girl Kiki or something equally bad and I will have to smack them. Sorry for venting ladies. DH doesn’t understand and I don’t think he wants to. He is just way too easy going and nothing seems to bother him.



    BTW I am also a total supporter of BF, I still am my little girl is almost 1 and have no plans to stop… I just think some of the ‘older generations’ don’t get it and don’t trust it… Who knows why!!



    I have quite a good relationship with my MIL she has tried to tell me to do thing regarding me been pregnant and what i should be doing when he is a born, i accept advise but i will not be told how i should raise my son!!! i don’t know there is always something that spoils another. I hope when he is born she backs off abit or i’ll have to start telling her straight!!! xx



    is anyopne else at locker heads over what to do on christmas day?

    I know Andy really wants to go to his mums but i dont, were always going there on a sunday coz he wants to go n i never get to see my family and have a meal with them AND my grandmas coming up from sussex which is a 4 hour drive just to be with us (and especially Amy) but Andy really doesnt wanna go to my mums and neither of us are too keen on cooking christmas lunch coz we want to be there and share every moment of christmas day with amy!

    can some one give me any hints on how to decide:( its a massive deal for me as its her first christmas n i think i should be allowed to chose as he was a big poo head when i waas carrying her!

    Andy said we should go his mums in the day n my mums in the evenng but thats unfair as amys always so wingy n clingy at the evening time n i dnt want to be stuck at his mums for aggggggggggges 🙁



    I agree, I’m lucky. My MIL breastfed her children until they self weaned at around 3. My mom also breastfed me until I was a couple years. I had no solids until I was over a year because she did true baby led weaning.

    In the end, it’s your child and you need to be clear on what you want your child ingesting, whether it’s food or even learning toys. Kekoa has a couple battery powered toys but it wasn’t because we bought them for him. I would rather buy him a book or blocks. I don’t mind a couple lights but some toys out there are just plain annoying. I have actually thrown some away that he got for his birthday because they are crazy busy. No wonder kids has ‘disorders’, they’re wigging out from all the noise and lights. HAHA! I know I’m kidding but seriously, what happened to plain ol’ cars and trucks. By the way, Kekoa said car today. Ahhh! My angel is growing up.

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