Mothers in law

This topic contains 655 replies, has 226 voices, and was last updated by  Allynne7Jaime 3 years, 4 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 601 through 615 (of 656 total)
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  • #6936804

    Joelisa
    Member

    Bri- I live in her house, and on top of it she bought the cereal. Now she talking about getting baby food to feed him when he turns two months. She won’t take no as a answer. I really want to move but I have no where to go, its to crowded at my moms house.

    #6936549

    ibunanadine
    Member

    Just can’t find any right word to describe my PIL (parents in law, ed).
    What should you call a pair of parents who make their child’s marriage broken?
    Yup…my marriage w/ my DH is about on the edge of crash…and it’s all because of his parents and his indecisive manner.
    I’m so down…our baby is only 6 month old…
    Me and my daughter are just the victim of my PIL insanity…and my hubby childishness

    #6936805

    Bri
    Member

    Yikes! Baby food at 2 months! Ok, even the worst doctor will tell you that’s a no-no. Breastfed babies should not have food before six months,I know some are ready at four but two? That’s terrible. I’m sorry. I’d still throw it out. If she keeps buying it you can just keep throwing it out. I’d print out research or better yet talk to your ped. Ask her/him to write a letter saying NO FOOD for six months…

    #6936550

    mrserror08
    Member

    Well, i love my mother in law. i really do. its just that my hubby is such a momma’s boy its not even funny!!! right now we are living with them since we’re young and i want to have enough money saved up where if one of us loses our jobs we won’t be terribly off, especially with a newborn. but it seems like she can do no wrong and i can sin like satan! anytime i try to talk to my hubby about it he tells me not to talk about his mom. Thats because one day she stood by our bedroom listening to our conversation and made him feel so bad that he didn’t stick up for her and said he shouldn’t let anybody talk about his own mother. but i wasn’t ‘talking about her’ just venting and trying to work things out. and my sister in law is pregnant right now and my mother in law has bought EVERYTHING for her baby. diapers, clothes, a crib, wipes, bottles, everything you can imagine. and she’s paying the $175 for circumsision. But 3 months ago i had a baby and she didn’t help at all and still doesn’t! Plus she bought her a car, pays her car insurance and cell phone bill! but when i bring this up, my hubby just tells me that his sister doesn’t have anybody and we have my family to help us out. But his sister could have the father and his family be involved but my mother in law told her not to and said ‘we don’t need them.’ It just upsets me so much that we’re struggling just to make and my sister in law gets everything handed to her!

    #6936806

    momin09
    Member

    Uggghh! What is it with the old school mama’s thinking that Rice Cereal is ok? I am 35 weeks and am dreading any of my MIL and my own mom’s too, advice about foods that the baby should have. Joelisa–I would not be ok with her insistance, throw it out or put it away until later. You’re the mama.

    Also, the only time to be on the tummy should be during tummy time to develop neck strength…definately not to sleep. My MIL was telling me a story about another grandma she works with, who went ahead and put heir grandchild on their tummy to sleep b/c they would cry on their backs…my response to that was, well was that what the mom/ dad wanted? No. She could tell I didn’t like this and I told her, that if there was anything that she wanted to ‘try’ once our baby comes, to please check with us first. WOW! The mothering instincts are incredible, ecspecially when it comes to people telling you how to do stuff, before you’ve even tried yourself.

    #6936551

    mrserror08
    Member

    kebler- wowzers! thats pretty crazy. that sounds like something my own mother would do. maybe she’s a little jealous of you two or something? idk. but that doesn’t sound healthy for your husbands 8 year old to be around. shes going to be confused if you guys do get her back.

    #6936807

    momin09
    Member

    Don’t even get me started about the baby shower!!! I had wanted it before but the old school thinking is that it is bad luck to have a shower before. My MIL was set on this and if there were a shower planned before, she would not attend. I just don’t know how I’ll be afterwards and the idea of passing the baby around makes my heart stop…also, I wanted to get the gifts beforehand, then that way I could pick things out that we still needed after the shower. And now because I want to be prepared, I am buying things off of the registry that I know I’ll need readuy for when baby comes. My MIL keeps giving me heck for buying stuff that she knows I’d get for gifts, but how can I be so sure that people will get what we need. I know it’s just stuff, but the idea of putting it all away, washing etc. once the baby is here annoys me. The nursery is all ready to go, I don’t want to have to reorganize it with more things. The shower my MIL has in mind would be at a hall to accommodate everyone, the idea of a crowd is very unsettling. And to top it off, my mom and sister, are making it a big deal if they should plan with my MIL or go ahead and plan a shower on their own. And she will be inviting some of her work friends, that I don’t even know. I def don;t want this seperation b/w families, and which one would my friends attend? Uuuuggghhh!

    #6936552

    mrsdenney
    Participant

    kebler i have a similar situation with my step daughter and mother in law. she doesnt have custody but when my husband and his ex god divorced he kind of allowed his mom to take over his daughter. well 3 years later she still has control. she will ask to spend the night with us and she will tell her no you dont need to. and when she finally does get here as soon as we get onto her or tell her no about something she is wanting to call her neena to come get her. she is completely out of control. they have her in school counseling because she cannot get along with other kids and wont listen and all that. my mil told me that my step daughter doesnt like coming over because i am mean to her. and its not that, its i have rules and she knows what they are. such as she isnt allowed to have food or drink in the car. well my MIL had our vehicle with my step daughter in it. she gave her a candy bar. next thing we know there is a melted candy bar with no wrapper in the back window. and its smeared all over the seats. my husband told his mother she had to clean it up. she said ok then never did it. she is throwing my step daughters 6th birthday party and hasnt allowed us to have anything to do with it. when my husband’s ex has an issue to discuss she calls my MIL not us. she doesnt act like this at her mothers house. because she doesnt have an out there. i have told my husband several times to stand up and start being a father to his kid but so far its a no go. im not sure there is anything that can be done. i do know however that my MIL isnt allowed to even take my son to the store. and he will never spend the night with her. but thats a totally different story lol

    #6936808

    lenny87
    Member

    i hate my mother in law sounds bad i no, me and my other half met on the internet and where seein each other for a few months but coz we lived so far apart we decided that he would come and live with me as i already had a feelin the his mom didnt like me coz we met off the internet. she treated him like a slave im not jokin he had to do all the housework go out and work a fulltime job and she got him into debt and she treated him badly then she acused me of stealing her son away then a few weeks into his move to my house we found out that i was pregnant we where thrilled it wasnt planned but still we where happy my mom and dad where over the moon and congratulated us, his mom on the other hand asked me if it was his and started to work my dates out i was soo upset then when she saw i was upset she said she was only joking but i could tell she wasnt and im 7 months pregnant now and she still to this day asks to have a test done to see if he is the dad then says she is only jokin when she can see it hurts my feelings i mean come on is it me bein touchy or is it sick to joke about somethin like that? im in too minds to have her pay for a test done then laugh in her face when it says that he is, god i cant stand that woman grrrrr

    #6936553

    SupermomPj
    Member

    mrs.error08 ~ If you are living with the MIL then I would think that they are helping you. You said you want to save money, so I assume the MIL sees this as helping you with bills and baby items etc. I know I don’t know all the circumstances but if she told your sister in law not to be with the dad then she feels obligated to help her. I am not trying to nag on you I just think that living with a person can make you see EVERYTHING about them, I lived with my in-laws (while we were dating/engaged) for a little over a year and it was a TREMENDOUS help, but while I was there it did wear on me and our relationship. Things will get better, when you two are out on your own you will see the good and bad of being there and appreciate both.

    #6936809

    Joelisa
    Member

    Lenny87 – That is a sick joke. I think you should let her pay for the test, since you know its his just so you could laugh in her face. Know need in wasting your money on something you already know, so waste hers and make her feel stupid for even questioning. Momin09- I think you should let your family just go ahead and plan your shower without your MIL. The baby shower is for you not her. I agree I couldn’t imagine passing around my baby to awhole group of people and possibly some you don’t even know. Plus, someone could have a slight cold, yuck no. I never heard of having a shower after the baby is born, I thought it was for you to get the stuff before baby is born. But anywho back to my story. Ok ladies I was thinking the same thing when she said getting the baby food. I’m like what is wrong with her, she won’t listen to me its ridiculous. I bet you next, I’m going to find her giving him regular food at 3months. I just can’t take it anymore, my mom understood when I told her I didn’t want to give him rice cereal. She never said anything else about it. But my future MIL won’t drop it. But I guess I’m gonna have to take you ladies advice, and just keep throwing it out, maybe she’ll stop buying it if I waste her money since she won’t listen. Man you would think she gave birth to him since she tries to tell me what to do with my own son. I just hate when people don’t let the parent raise there child how they want without hearing you should/shouldn’t do this or that, they always have something to say ugh! Well sorry so long just had to vent.

    #6768106

    i-am-pregnant
    Keymaster

    What is your relationship like with your mother-in-law?

    #6936554

    4thonitsway
    Participant

    ok that was too funny, just as I clicked post message, my text message ringtone started playing lmao, i just knew it had to be her, it wasnt tho, but Im sure my face was priceless

    #6936810

    Joelisa
    Member

    2babys-under2 – I’m not doing anything just to make her happy. He hasn’t had any rice cereal bottles since the last time I caught her giving it to him. I told her plenty times I don’t want him to have it. She’s just one of those people that don’t take no for answer, I know you met or know someone like that. Its just really annoying to keep telling her the same thing over and over. Its like I tell her no and then she start talking about baby food, its like she never heard me say no or something. Oh and its not my house its hers I live here for free, she doesn’t want me to pay. She even does the no thing with me. She went shopping and called me an asked if I needed any body wash. I tell her no thanx I already have some, she tells me ima get you some anyways. Its just ridiculous I have never met anyone like that until I met her. I have money saved, but my BF doesn’t know how to save his money. So I’m stuck here until he gets some money. Because I refuse to be the only one in the relationship pay for rent and other stuff.

    #6936555

    stargazer530
    Member

    Ok, how do you ladies with horrible MIL get over them touching/being around your children? I am 38 wks pregnant with my first and I cringe every time I think of MIL having anything to do with my child. She is a horrible, insane drunk who i cannot stand to be around. Her and her sister treated me like absolute sh*t on Christmas and I told DH that they were not allowed to be in the hospital when I have our child. He said ok, he understood. Since then he has talked to them on the phone, but never around me. He has not confronted them about how I was treated/felt or about not coming to the hospital. I kept trying to bring up the subject and he kept avoiding it. Well, this morning I emailed him and let him know he should put together a list of people who he wants to notify and be put on the visitor’s list to be able to see us in the hospital. He said I thought we had already agreed my folks would see her in the nursery. I told him very quickly that ‘we’ never agreed to anything. I told him multiple times that his mother & aunt were not to be allowed in my room and he said he understood. I also told him that the baby will be rooming in with us and only be away from me when she is having tests done and it’s not like an open nursery where random relatives can just wonder in and grab my baby. So I kinda went off and told him I knew this was going to happen, I knew he would just push my feelings aside and now I am supposed to just put up with being treated like sh*t by these people and let them be in the life of my bbay girl who i have carried inside me for 9 months? So he says he tried to see things from my pov but he just doesn’t take things personally and knows how they are (how they are equals drunk and mean and screaming at a pregnant woman all christmas day to the point of making her cry) so it doesn’t bother him and that them not being able to share in the joy of her birth would be too hard for him. So, is it wrong for me to not want these people around me? If they cannot respect me and treat me like any other decent human being should treat another person, why should I be forced to let them in my child’s life? I have never been even remotely rude to these people. We have ‘loaned’ them money, bought clothes for his crazy mother when her crack head ex burned all hers, baked desserts for all types of events for their family and friends, fixed all types of stuff for them, put up xmas lights, planted shrubs, etc. Ugh…sorry for the book ladies. I am hormonal and just disgusted at the moment and had to vent.

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