Sex after childbirth

This topic contains 44 replies, has 37 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #6955102

    Did anyone have an episiotomy during birth? I did and am wondering how other women are going. My daughter is nearly 3 months old, and I am still in pain….

    Anyone in the same boat???
    Cheers!

    #6955103

    lin
    Member

    no offense…but that was quite risky to have sex the day after getting home from a c-section. The spot where your placenta used to be is an open raw area which is very prone to infection, your very lucky. Plus it can put a lot of strain on your incision and you risk tearing it open…I WOULDNT do it!! In fact my doctor and the health nurse and all the nurses at the hospital really push the no sex for 6 weeks! I know thats a long time…but infections suck.

    Sex after a c-section was also uncomfortable for me the first time (after my first section, havent tried yet after this second one.) I remember it hurting and feeling really dry. It got better though, but it took awhile.

    #6955104

    Bri
    Member

    Lin – I agree with you. You really don’t want to risk infection or tears. There is a reason they don’t want you to do any heavy lifting or such. I was a fast healer but we still waited. Oh and the day after you are still bleeding. I know that doesn’t bother some people bu….gross!

    #6955105

    Bri
    Member

    brie – I feel ya! I hurt for a long time. My body was healed but I had problems having sex for months after. I was dry and had no desire. After talking to my doctor I found that this is totally normal even though it sucks. Your body has gone through a lot and it just doesn’t want to do it yet. And, if you are breastfeeding then sometimes it takes longer. My son is almost 17 months and I’m only starting to get the desire back. He hasn’t weaned yet but only nurses about 4 times a day. I think the cut back has started to jump my body into ‘ok it’s on’ mode.

    #6955106

    aprilraine
    Participant

    I tore with my first (5 stitches) we waited 4 weeks, I felt ready and wasn’t bleeding, so we went ahead, it was kind of tender upon entering, but no real pain.

    #6955107

    wannabmommy
    Member

    little blessing, i had an episiotmy and tore… my son is now 5 months and weve had sex… two times.. and last time we forgot the damn condom.. so now i wait and see if we made a new creation…

    #6955108

    DulcianasMom
    Member

    When did any of you start feeling ‘tighter’ again? My hubby and i have done it a few times and i am only 5 weeks post partum (yes i know, i should have waited a little longer) and it feels OK when we start, but towards the end, it just doesnt feel right….like its loose:( It makes me so freakin self concious! I asked my hubby if it felt weird or not good and he said that it was great….i think he just didnt want to hurt my feelings.

    #6955109

    DulcianasMom ~ Was this your first baby? 4 weeks PP with my first, my husband and I had sex. It was a bit painful…and I was so worried about how it would feel for him and if he would be honest about it. Things were quite tight!! I was totally shocked! I am now 6 weeks PP, we had sex a few nights ago and things seem to be tight…I am so glad!! But am wondering if its just swelling??? I am seeing the dr tuesday, hope she tells me I am not at all swollen, so I know this is how things will be! What was LO’s weight? Do you do the kegal exercises??

    #6955110

    And I am so with those of you have that NO DRIVE!!! I know they say it is normal, but it feels weird to be young and just not interested at all! I look at my DH like ‘are you kidding me?!?!’ Wonder if it will ever come back??

    #6955111

    anniemarie
    Participant

    my son was born in nov so he’s 5 months old. i had an episiotomy and hadn’t had sex in over a year…and i had sex for the first time this past weekend. had it again the following morning and it hurt a little bit more. i was very worried about being ‘loose’ but i’m pretty sure that even if you don’t get stitched up that your vaginal walls shrink back similar to how they were before you had your baby. it was def. not “loose” and i’m still a little sore now…

    #6955112

    Bri
    Member

    jamjustforme – Ok, so my son is almost 18 months. I didn’t get my drive back until I started having sex. It hurt for several months. Recently, I decided that I wanted another child and therefore needed to fix things. We did a bunch of reading and what we found out is interesting. The less a women has sex the less she wants or needs it. We stop producing testerone and such that would feed our drive. My drive problem started in college. We were like bunnies, six times a day. He moved to Denver and I still hadn’t graduated. We spent a year and a half as a long distance relationship so I was having sex only a couple times a year. From then on I started to lose the drive. So about two months ago I made it an effort just to have sex, whether I wanted to or not. Now our sex life is getting better. Last month we were haviing sex every other day. This last week we cooled off for a bit cause we were busy but I found myself wanting it. I guess we just need to force ourselves. Now, if I am pregnant then instead of just sleeping and such I want to continue to have sex throughout and then have hope of having it soon after birth.

    #6955113

    abbyquiet
    Participant

    hi everyone! my son is now 16 months old, and im nearly 9 weeks pregnant right now. i was wondering if anyone has had a c-section and are having problems with their sex drive. it’s like the sex hurts becuase it’s toooo tight, and just plain uncomfortable. none of it feels good to me. maybe someone could give me some advice, other than to just do it until it gets better. thank you. <3

    #6955114

    Boady
    Member

    abbyquiet, what do you mean it’s to tight? You said you had a c-section right? sorry i just don’t understand what you mean. I’ve had both a c-section and natural and sex was ok, I had my sex drive back. Now I wasn’t pregnant so soon after having a child so I can’t speak about that. But I do recall I could care less for sex for the first 3 months of being pregnant which is normal but after that omg hormones all i wanted was sex. for you it could be a mix of taking care of a 16 month old and being pregnant that takes alot of energy taking care of a baby let alone being pregnant. But i would speak to your doctor if it’s painful to have sex but if you don’t have the sex drive I would say it’s just your hormones like I said the first three months it’s not uncommon to not have the sex drive.

    #6955115

    DulcianasMom
    Member

    iamjustmeforme – No, this is my second. So, i know things will be a little ‘stretched’ down there but i honestly feel too loose. And i have been trying to work on my kegel exersicses. I just hate doing those things! Pain in my butt:P I have my PP checkup on Thursday so i am anticipating how things will check out down there! Thanks for your comments:)

    #6955116

    i-am-pregnant
    Keymaster

    ♥ Hey everyone..jus wondering if anyone else is feeling uncomfortable with their partner after giving birth? i don’t like the way my tummy looks:( at all! my breasts don’t look or feel the same…i’m just feeling much older than I really am. Also..i’m not sure if the sex is still as enjoyable to him or if he’s lying. i know its not ‘loose’ down there..but (sorry TMI!!) especially when it is verrry wet it jus doesn’t feel the same..im so self conscious because i know it isn’t as tight as before i had my 2 kids. i had an episiotomy with both..don’t know if that makes a difference? well anyways…please comment and tell me if you’re going thru this..♥

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