Father to be

This topic contains 80 replies, has 56 voices, and was last updated by  maryparrish 2 years, 3 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 81 total)
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  • #6928713

    SarahGrogan
    Member

    Just wondering if anyone else out there in the same boat as me.. i was with the father of my child(which am 14 weeks pregnant) but ended up breaking up before it was knowledge of being pregnant due to me being concerned that i was pregnant – and because we werent getting on and little things like trust etc was an issue with us i began to worry before i had told him about me thinking i was pregnant – i began to be a bitch to him really.. i was upset and worried we werent working out and being pregnant.. resulted anyway in us having a major fight and i told him i thought i could be pregnant that i was extremely late..that night he actually walked away from me and left me upset in town on my own – maybe he was frightened and shocked at what i said but still was no excuse – end of the week (mid – end of march)i done a test which turned out to be negative – (this stage we broke up..) told Martin which resulted in him calling me every name under the sun a liar.. that it was wrong of me to make such things up etc.. few weeks went past and still was feelings so sick and so tired.. was getting tests done by doctors etc – then decided id do another test which was 4 weeks later from previous test and turned out positive.. done few more to be sure and all positive… went to doctors and they done scan to be sure and resulted i was 9 weeks pregnant so my first test was faulty.. Told martin the news..i actually thought i was sick – possibly cancer or something else.. i was delighted its a baby not anything else.. but since we broke up martin has moved on..has new girlfriend and hasnt had any interest really – have no money from him for help with this baby and its needs – has been to 1 scan and now said cant go to next scan which is tomorrow afternoon.. which im quiet angry by because he is off for today and tomorrow(he is a guard in my town)

    What is so hard about this is i know i still love him – it botheres me so much he has moved on and hasnt once thought of me of the person the girl he once loved and adored?.. it hurts so much he is putting this new girl before his own baby.. im finding this so hard to cope with and my emotions are all over the place. just wondered if anyone else has had something like this problem!

    Im tired of being let down and upset.. i feel i cant rely on him for anything now – and feel i dont want to inform him of anything because he will just let me down again..

    #6928714

    nikongirl24
    Member

    I feel so lucky, my hubby talks to my belly every morning to say good morning and every night as well. He tells our baby about his day, sings little songs and hums. I think it is so important so the baby will be familiar with his voice. He also rubs my feet, gets me drinks and snacks. I feel so spoiled by him! <3 you Lenny, you are the love of my life.

    #6928715

    mamaof2boys
    Member

    Aww you guys do have some really good and thoughtful hubby’s. Mine works so much and he works at night plus is going to classes to become a black jack dealer, so I dont get the foot and back rubs. I try to talk my two year old into it but he just wants his done lol. With my first son, my hubby kinda freaked out I think the thought of being a father actually hit him once the baby came, but he is a great father to our son and I know he will be with this baby too. 2 1/2 weeks left and the babe will be here…whew two boys I for see a bunch of black eyes and bloody noses in my future for some odd reason. Ahh I’m going to be way out numbered lol

    #6928716

    mamaof2boys
    Member

    No offense to the guys on here, but I think the men really dont understand how ‘hard’ pregnancy is. Not only on your body, but mind and soul too. I think if men had to do it atleast once they would fully get it. I’m 35 1/2 weeks and I’m so tired I cant remember what I did 5 mins ago. I also chase my very hyperactive 2 yr old son around all day long on 2-3 hrs of sleep a night. Fathers to be just be understanding with your mommys to be, and understand they wont stay crazy forever lol they will get back to their normal selfs soon, and just understand that it is hard creating a life and it takes a toll on our bodies. And everytime you feel like you are going to snap on her just look at her and see how special she really is because she is carrying your child. I think too if fathers to be would do just the little stuff like ‘honey I will do the dishes tonight’ or ‘ go take a long hot shower I will put the kids down for the night’ that makes such a huge difference. I dont expect mine to do it all heck I’m lucky if he takes out the trash, but to just sometimes get a break from all the crazyness is nice too. And a long hot shower by myself would be heaven lol

    #6928717

    mamaof2boys
    Member

    jessipoo- Have you talked to him and have told him how you are feeling? I for one think that when it comes to ‘girls’ guys dont know what to think. Maybe he just feels like he wont be close to this baby because the baby is a she, and he wont be able to do the same things with her as he can with your guys’ son? I’m not trying to take sides 🙂 But men are weird no offense when it comes to all this baby stuff. My hubby was freaked out because he thought this baby was going to be a girl, which it is another boy. He was actually FREAKED, I asked him why and all he would tell him was what am I going to do with a girl? I told him the same stuff you do with our son, but he goes no its different, and he said that he will never be able to get a single moments rest if we have a girl because he will be freaked out about everything dealing with her. So I kind of took it as he feels like he would have to constantly protect her and maybe he didnt feel like he would be able to do such a good job. But I dont know guys are cooky but we love em lol

    #6928718

    mamaof2boys
    Member

    blydansmommy- Yea I understand!! I think that sometimes they are actually shocked by how ‘fast’ practicing leads to a baby lol. I dont know what they mean when they say they didnt think that it would happen this fast, because its like um what did you think was going to happen lol. If I could give you any advice it would to just try really hard to keep the communication open with him, and I’m sure he will come around Good luck!!

    #6928719

    Ok, so I really need to vent before I explode… I have a little girl from a previous relationship. I am expecting my second child, with my partner, but this is his first. I love him to absloute bits, but he just doesn’t understand. I’m 11 weeks pregnant and so far this pregnancy has not been as smooth as my first. I’ve had bleeding and I have had to have 3 scans already and I’m due back for a fourth in 2 weeks, because the lady was concerned about his gut???? but anyway I’m like dong all the house work, cooking cleaning, ironing, washing and still looking after the little one. I’m really tired, I feel drained and its like he just doesn’t understand and its so frustrating. This is his first child, so you would have thought he would have been at least really caring and sympathetic, but he just thinks that I’m moaning for nothing and he is just basically being a prat. I’m coming to the end of my teather already and I honestly don’t wanna loose my little one. So he needs to just be supportive of me. I feel so low. Because he doesnt understand, we are arguing and I kinda feel like we are on the verge of breaking up. But then I think if we break up, I dont wanna be a single mother with two children, but don’t want an abortion……. HELP?!

    #6928720

    andy21
    Participant

    I am sorry to hear that some of you ladies are having such hard time with your men! I am coming on here to brag about my hubby! He is amazing… This is my 3rd pregnancy (and hopefully our 1st baby) and each pregnancy he has been by my side and so supportive. He’s been to every doctor’s appointment and he’ll look at baby things with me, we picked out names together, furniture, bedding, everything!! I’ve been totally nauseous and just plain lazy. He’s been doing everything! Dishes, laundry, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. You name it! He’s always telling me how beautiful I am and how excited he is to be a daddy. We bought him this book and he’s almost done reading it already! I’m only 7 weeks! (it’s not a little book either) I have the best man every and I’m so glad he’s mine =]

    #6928721

    mamaof2boys
    Member

    Baby no 2 on the way – If I was you, I would sit him down and talk to him. I sort of had the same problems with my hubby with my first pregnancy. Its hard being pregnant and not feeling good and still having to do everything. I dont think they really understand because we are one way before getting pregnant and then we are so different afterwards but we are TIRED 🙂 Try to maybe get him some books to read about being a father and what its like for a women and what she goes through when she is pregnant, maybe then he will kinda understand. But I would talk to him and tell him that you need some help, even the small things help. Good luck and I hope I helped you some.

    #6928722

    krystalnf
    Member

    This is my first (so far) succesful pregnancy and my husband can be sympathetic but at times he’s an @$$. he expects me to get up in the middle of the night to do a load of laundry because he forgot he had nothing to wear. i cook and clean and pretty much bow down to him and i’m exhausted. and i’m supposed to be on complete bed rest because i lost my first one. i would just like a little bit of a help and a nap here and there. i became really sick (not because of the baby) i had a lung infection and ended up in the hospital with 104.2 fever and all he cared about was watching stupid t.v. and i’m screaming at him that if it doesn’t break soon it could literally cook the baby. (he did eventually get up after i threw something at him lol) i’m sorry to rant, i know a lot of husbands/boyfriends/partners are very loving and sympathetic but my god men! it takes a lot to grow a baby! get off your butt and help us!

    #6928723

    Hanakalei
    Member

    jessipoo-OMG!!!! All i have to say is wow!! My heart goes out to you because what he is doing is wrong!! A child is both parties responsibility…and if he was my bf im pretty sure that i would yank him out of bed by his legs (actually i would probably do waaaaaaay worse)!!! You have no reason to be appologozing for disturbing his sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs to grow up and be a man is what it sounds like!!

    #6928724

    domevapurple
    Member

    wo wow wow jessipoo im sorry to tell this but what a Irresponsible daddy he is…having a child is two parties responsibility. what ever he like it or not.. i fell bad in your situation…hope he realize what his doing….

    take care

    #6928725

    Lucy01
    Member

    I would turn around to your partner and tell him that a father can be anyone but a dad is someone who is there for there child… let him know he is just a father .. not a dad and if he keeps this up then he shouldnt have the title of being a daddy… im so sorry u have to go through this.. my partner is now becoming more aware that pregnancy is painful and he isnt as helpful as i wish but he is still out doing the things in the house after about 30x nagging but it gets done eventually.

    #6928726

    domevapurple
    Member

    I just Remember to the pass that I got pregnant me and my husband cant explain how happy we are…….till the day I give birth I cant say that I have a wonderful husband in the world no problem at all… the way he take care of me ……..the way he help me in house work coz we don’t have worker. And how excited he is to our baby…. I m thankful to have him to support me for everything….but everything changes now that our baby is 6 weeks old I don’t know why it happened….every time the baby cry god cant explain how he don’t want to hear the baby cry…..he freak out…………..he sayings some bad words to the baby and that melt my heart……….he try a couple of times to nursing the baby …but every time he watch baby cry and cry and cry so I feel that he don’t want his daddy on him……..so sad…;-(… I really don’t know what to do my husband now changes even on me…his not the loveable as he is to me no more… he don’t appreciate even what I did to him and to the baby… (Maybe I don’t see no more) he always say that he love me and our son but I cant see it……….im still with him and save our marriages and I love him so much! I am in c section so it supposes to be not working but I did the all work….. Even cook his meals ………I try to be a good wife and mother to my two man.. But I think it’s not enough …..even sometimes I’m not felling well I still do the work in the house while nursing our son…….lot of time I want to give up and but I consider that he needs me and try to be patient more to my husband coz he have PTSD from War …from being a retired marines…….. God I’m human too I need to be care and to be love……I just think sometimes that I m suppose to be happy wife coz we don’t have problem financially … I can buy what ever I want…….. We have the money we need……but I realize that money is not enough to have a healthy family…….. Comments me ladies what can you say to my situation………

    #6928727

    domevapurple
    Member

    I just Remember to the pass that I got pregnant me and my husband cant explain how happy we are…….till the day I give birth I cant say that I have a wonderful husband in the world no problem at all… the way he take care of me ……..the way he help me in house work coz we don’t have worker. And how excited he is to our baby…. I m thankful to have him to support me for everything….but everything changes now that our baby is 6 weeks old I don’t know why it happened….every time the baby cry god cant explain how he don’t want to hear the baby cry…..he freak out…………..he sayings some bad words to the baby and that melt my heart……….he try a couple of times to nursing the baby …but every time he watch baby cry and cry and cry so I feel that he don’t want his daddy on him……..so sad…;-(… I really don’t know what to do my husband now changes even on me…his not the loveable as he is to me no more… he don’t appreciate even what I did to him and to the baby… (Maybe I don’t see no more) he always say that he love me and our son but I cant see it……….im still with him and save our marriages and I love him so much! I am in c section so it supposes to be not working but I did the all work….. Even cook his meals ………I try to be a good wife and mother to my two man.. But I think it’s not enough …..even sometimes I’m not felling well I still do the work in the house while nursing our son…….lot of time I want to give up and but I consider that he needs me and try to be patient more to my husband coz he have PTSD from War …from being a retired marines…….. God I’m human too I need to be care and to be love……I just think sometimes that I m suppose to be happy wife coz we don’t have problem financially … I can buy what ever I want…….. We have the money we need……but I realize that money is not enough to have a healthy family…….. Comments me ladies what can you say to my situation………

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 81 total)

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