how do you feel about ivf with donor eggs??

This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  JennaBlack7 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #10785996

    mellanyHC
    Participant

    Girls, is there anyone who used or is planning to use donor eggs? What are results? How and where did you find donor? Due to condition of my health de ivf is my last chance to have a baby. It’s so hard for me to decide on this procedure. I want to ask those girls who had already underwent this procedure, how do you feel now? Do you have regrets? What are your feelings toward your baby/babies? Do you have feelings that baby isn’t yours? I’m afraid I won’t be able to love this child. I asked my sister to be our donor. Unfortunately she refused. I thought that maybe it’ll be easier to take this situation if it’s eggs of my sis. She thinks it will be wrong if we rise her baby. Maybe she’s right… But what should I do now? I really need to talk to somebody about this. My mind is full of thoughts, doubts and questions. I feel like I’m going crazy( Another question is where is better to do this procedure? Will I be able to choose donor by myself? What about prices? I have no idea where to start. Moreover I’m not sure if I’m ready for this procedure. I hope you will help me to figure it out!

    #10786013

    mellanyHC
    Participant

    Hello everyone who are reading my thread! We are still in search for reliable clinic. We decided to go for de ivf in Europe. Thanks to advices and information which I found on this forum, we think that Europe is the best variant. Now we should pick up the right clinic. Opinions differ and I’m a little confused. I will appreciate if you give more specific info. For example, names of the clinics, prices, services etc. Also I’m interested if there is a possibility to choose donor? I’d like our donor to look like me. I hope to hear more details from you. Thanks in advance and I wish everyone good luck!

    #10786100

    JennaBlack7
    Participant

    Your thoughts are so familiar to me. I think every woman has such thoughts on her mind before such procedure. It’s easier for men to accept this. It will be their child, so why should they worry about such things? To be honest, at first I was completely against the idea of using donor eggs. I thought it’s unnatural and I won’t be able to love a baby from another woman. How stupid I was! This procedure was my only chance to become a mother so I persuaded myself to do it. Now I have no regrets. I look at my son and I consider him as my child and no one else’s. We had an opportunity to give our doctor list of features we wanted to see in our donor. We mentioned hair color, nose and face shape, eyes, lips, etc. I should say everyone tells me my son have my eyes! We told everyone, even our family, that we had simple ivf. No one can ever tell we used egg donor. Of course I’m grateful to our doctor and that girl, who donated her eggs. I will never forget what they’ve done for us! But I really have no feelings like my son is not genetically related to me. I do not feel differently toward him. Absolutely not! I love him with my whole heart! As soon as I knew I’m pregnant all my doubts faded away. I carried him. I felt him inside my stomach. I felt sick. I sang for him and read fairytales for him. I gave birth to him! He’s my son and only my! We decided we’ll not tell him about egg donor. I think he doesn’t need to know that. I’m his mom. I’ll do everything for him so there will be no need for him to look for our donor. We had de ivf in Ukraine. We had 2 attempts in general. I’ve got pregnant from the first one. The clinic also offers «packages» with 1 or 5 attempts. So we’ve just chosen «package», which suited us the most. I wish you good luck with your procedure! I’m sure you’ll forget about your concerns as soon as you’ll know you’re pregnant!

    #10786101

    mellanyHC
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your reply! I really needed to hear these words. I can’t hold back my tears when I read how you describe your feeling towards your son. I hope I’ll feel the same. Emotional ties are the most important. I believe my feelings will change when I feel baby inside. I want to have a child. I want to become mother and I want my kid to feel my love. We are also thinking we won’t tell our child that we used an egg donor. I think this information will be very confusing for a baby. I read a lot about Ukrainian clinics but I have some concerns. May I ask how much did you pay? Was it hard to stay in foreign country? What about communication with doctors and other people? Do you know Ukrainian? I will be very grateful if you share some details and thoughts about this clinic you’ve chosen.

    #10786109

    JennaBlack7
    Participant

    I’m sure you’ll love your child! The clinic has a couple of packages. So you can choose the one, which suits the most. We chose ‘double’ for €6 900. Speaking about package we chose, we had 2 attempts. I’ve got pregnant from first attempt. We didn’t pay all sum at once! I think it’s too risky to do so. The payment was divided into 2 parts. We paid €3 450 after we signed contract during our first visit. We paid second half on the day of the first embryo transfer.

    This clinic proposes same services for lower price. There were a couple of factors which convinced us to sign contract. When we came to the clinic for the first time, we saw many people there. I should say we didn’t expect this at all! I never thought Ukraine is that well-known. And since that moment I had a feeling that everything will be fine. Not for nothing people go there! At first I wasn’t 100% sure. I thought their medicine stuck in the past. But after looking at the clinic and their modern equipment I changed my mind. Also their services. The clinic has already taken care about everything. So our stay in Ukraine was absolutely comfortable. We were met in the airport by taxi driver, who was carrying us across Kiev by his car. He was transporting us to the clinic and our apartment, which was also provided by the clinic. We had a manager and she translated everything for us. She spoke language fluently, so there were no misunderstandings. They even provided us with food supply! The only thing which we cared about was de ivf procedure. All these services were already included in our package. We didn’t pay some extra fees. The clinic never asked to pay additional charges.

    We had 3 visits in a framework of our procedure. The clinic provided us with accommodation during all our visits. By the way, we were provided with food supply too. Our doctor assigned the treatment plan for us. Also she gave us all needed instructions. We didn’t go to biotexcom for ultrasounds and tests. All these we did in our local clinic. Then we just had to send the results to our program coordinator by mail. So there was no extra waste of money.

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