Miscarriage stories

This topic contains 28 replies, has 24 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #9269668

    AprilChristine
    Participant

    I technically did not miscarry. Though I lost my first baby. I put my story in a Sims 2 video. I also have details on my page.

    #9269669

    My husband and I have 2 beautiful boys. We have always wanted our children close in age. The 1st child was easy to get pregnant with. The 2nd child came after trying 2 years and going on 2 rounds of clomid. I miscarried that child at 14 weeks and had to have a D&C. I then was able to get pregnant in July of 2004. I had my 2nd beautiful perfect son in March of 2005. We have been trying for 1.5 years again and with the 2nd round of clomid (again) I conceived. Everything was going on just fine. We had a heartbeat check at 15 weeks and it was great. I felt the baby moving and it was so awesome. We went to a regular Dr. appt. on June 9th and there was no heartbeat. The baby had just probably dies the day before. I was then put into the hospital on June 11th and started induction of a stillborn baby. The process was to take between 3 – 24 hours at the most. It ended up taking 66 hours. My body, mind, & heart did not want to let go. on June 14th I had a baby boy. We got to hold him and take him all in. He was perfect in everyway. He had twisted his cord by his belly button about 5 times and he could get no nutrients. My heart is totally broken. I want my baby back. Today (Father’s Day) is a sad day. I mourn for myself and for my husband. I wish it didn’t take us so long to get pregnant. I am worried we won’t be able to have anymore children. I am totally thankful for the babies (not anymore) that I do have, but sooooo long for another baby. Maybe God will grant me the ability to have another child before it is too late. Prayers go out to all the mommies who have lost babies and pray for you all to heal quickly emotionally & physically!

    #9269670

    readyfor3
    Member

    I started having some spotting last week and went for a scan the next day. The baby grew and heart was beating, but the gestational sac was smaller then it should have been. We went fro another scan today and the baby’s heart was no longer beating. I was 9 weeks and 1 day. I am having spotting still and it’s a bit heavier but nothing much. I will have a D&C on Friday.
    Rest in God’s arms my angel baby, mama will always love you…

    #9269671

    krystalnf
    Member

    I found out that I was pregnant back in July, actually we found out on my husband’s birthday. We had been trying for a year to try to concieve. Without luck for months it finally happened. Sadly the way i found out was I started bleeding between my AF and i knew something was wrong. It wasn’t painful but it was extremely heavy. I went to the hospital that night to find out what was wrong. The did ultrasounds and said I had a growth in my left tube. they let me go home. a week later i woke in severe pain, the bed was soaked with blood (of course) and we went to the e.r. they gave me shots for pain and sent me home. i did see and OBGYN but my appointment were over the phone. (kinda made me mad) She scheduled for me to get the Methotrexate shot. If you don’t know what that is, its chemotherapy and it makes your body absorb whats not supposed to be there. I didn’t want to get it because I had hope that maybe they were wrong. but they told me i could either do that or lose a tube. so i did get the shot. i was extrememely heart broken, we had tried for so long and lost it within a week. I went into a deep depression. not even five months later, i was pregnant again. we found out on christmas eve that i was expecting again. i was so afraid i was going to lose it, but i’m 19 weeks 2 days and i love this baby more than anything…………………………..what i’m trying to say, please don’t lose hope and don’t give up, if i did i wouldn’t be one of the happiest women now. i prayed and prayed and prayed and god answered my prayers, so don’t give up!

    #9269672

    Hi Ladies, I just wanted to share this!
    Photobucket

    #9269673

    KylaRaquel
    Member

    My story here is also in blog form on my page called “1/4 Pregnancies” if that makes it easier to read & comment on. 🙂

    #9269674

    mamamia6
    Member

    Well I found out that I was pregnant when I was about four weeks along. Everything was going fine, morning sickness the whole nine yards. About 2 weeks later the night before my doctors appointmet me and hubby got into a huge arggument about I don’t even remember. I went to popeyes to get me a meal I had to wait inside the car for them to bring me my food, then all of a sudden I started feeling sharp dull pains in my back and they radiated down to my legs the pain was so bad that i had to get out the truck and crouch over in pain. This was the night before i was to go to my first docs appointment so i waited. When i got to the doctors office I just knew somthing was wrong. She did the ultrasound and found the baby but called for the doctor so when he came in he said this don’t look right and i might have some bleeding and he said sorry and walked out the room. So the ulrasound tech told me that I am carring twins and one of them were not going to make it. She then showed me my surviving baby and i got to see the little heart fluttering. I was kinda relieved but at the same time I was sad because We will loose our other baby soon,i could still see the other babies heart fluttering but the sac it was in was filled with blood. So the doc told me to take it easy for the next two weeks because it was still a chance that the other baby will pass with that one. So for two whole weeks we were on pins and needles every time i went to the bathroom i would check for blood. We made it to our next appointment and i just knew that the ultrasound tech was going to say say that the baby was gone but about 15 min later i heard a heartbeat i was soo relieved but sad at the same time because our other baby was just nothing but blood with no heartbeat.The tech told us that sometimes when your carriyng twins that the other baby can absorbe the one that didn’t make it. I ‘m now 13weeks and 3 days pregnant and not a day goes by that i don’t think about my other baby. People say you didn’t even know you were carriyng twins so whats the big deal but they don’t seem to understand that was still our baby no matter what and i love it just like i love my five girls already here.Reading your stories actually helps me cause yall have been through losts too and my heart goes out to every one of you and your angel babies.God Bless.

    #9269675

    KyMMieMuMMy
    Member

    It’s been a while since i posted a blog but today is extra special. Today is the 30th of October-the day i was due to give birth to the baby i unexpectedly lost in January. I found out i was pregnant the day before my birthday (26th of January, my birthday is the 27th). I started bleeding on January 30th. It absolutely broke my heart. I’d so easily fallen pregnant with my daughter and this time we tried for about 9 months with no results.

    After several weeks of deep grief that was so deep it swallowed me whole, a pain so bitterly agonising and uncontrollably bursting into tears, i pulled myself together enough to write a poem. One day when i was starting to heal (although you never really do) some words formed in my mind.

    I believed with every fibre of my body that i lost a little girl so this is her poem:

    ‘A Little Hope, In A Dream Of Large, Was Lost By The One Of Whom It Was Had’

    I realise that i’ve been so lucky and blessed. I have a wonderful family, a gorgeous little girl and to my delight a son on the way (he was conceived shortly after i lost the baby in January). So many women have experienced loss after loss after loss. There are women who have grown a baby to full term only to hold a lifeless body at the end. My heart absolutely shatters into pieces for these mothers as i selfishly ache over my tiny 6 week loss.

    I know it seems a little silly to be so devastated over such a tiny hint of a person but it was our tiny hint of a person. She was our hope for a little sister for Shaniya, a second daughter to watch grow into a beautiful woman. It hurts to think of what was lost.

    Although the loss of this tiny life will always remain as a scar on my heart God decided to send me another beautiful blessing, a second chance. Shortly after the miscarriage i was looking at two pink lines on a stick. Admittedly instead of feeling excited like i did with the baby i lost, i felt afraid. I felt that this might just be a cruel set up that life was going to throw at me. A part of me just knew that i was going to lose this baby too.

    Thankfully, as i often am, i was wrong. This baby fought long and hard. Through all the complications: Not having an anti-D shot after the miscarriage, extreme stress, bleeding, gestational diabetes. My goodness this pregnancy has been one drama after another. But…the knowledge that at the end of this i get to hold my son…well it makes it all worth it.

    It’s so incredible that just when you think you’re heart is broken beyond repair, something happens, something beautiful to put the pieces back together again. My son will always be a very special reminder that babies are not so easily made and had. That they are complex and fragile and if you’re lucky enough to be blessed with a pregnancy…it truly is a magnificent gift.

    My blood type is RH negative and i am meant to have an Anti-D shot if i experience bleeding, througout the pregnancy and possibly after delivery. I remember when i was pregnant with my daughter i knew that if bleeding occured i had 72 hours to get to a hospital and get the shot. Yet when i was pregnant in January for my second time ever, this knowledge completely elduded me.

    When i began to spot i freaked out. Soon it turned into bleeding. I went to my GP who internally examined me and said that the cervix was closed but he thought that i’d more than likely lost the pregnancy. Why for the fucking life of me couldn’t i remember i needed the shot? Why did my outright fucking stupididty have to cost me my baby..i will never forgive myself. Sometimes i think if only i could do it again. I’d remember.

    Knowing that i had the power to save my baby and simply ‘forgot’ makes me so sickened with myself, it makes me so furious. This is one time where the combination of stress and a relapse in memory cost me big.

    I remember my aunt telling me these two things after my miscarriage:

    She said that although losing the pregnancy in January was painful, had it not happened i would not be pregnant with the one i’m having. She has had miscarriages herself and says that if she didn’t lose certain pregnancies she wouldn’t of had the children she has today. I think she’s right but it’s terrible to think about, because it feels like a cruel trade off. One of my children for another. I wish i could of had them both.

    The other thing my Aunt said is that Josh(Her husband, who is into meditation) believes that when you fall pregnant soon after a miscarriage that it’s the same soul coming through. I’m not sure what i think of this, but it brings me great comfort to think that although i lost the first baby physically, that spirit has come through to be with us for a second time.

    None the less, this entire experience has brought about a deep appreciation for the pain people go through when they lose a baby or are trying without success. It also has made me realise how the gift of child bearing is truly a blessing, a stressful, hard, emotional,physically exhausting blessing. And that the reward at the end…well it’s priceless.

    To conclude my blog i just want to say Happy Birthday to the Baby that would of been. I also want to say that i am sorry, i am so sorry. Please forgive your mother the ultimate crime. I truly loved you before you were conceived, i loved you when you were conceived and i love you now and i always will. I will regret my mistake for the rest of my life. I know when i’m looking into your brothers eyes i’ll be thinking of you and saying a quiet prayer of thanks for my second chance.

    #6768300

    i-am-pregnant
    Keymaster

    Talking about what happened can help you heal faster.

    #9269676

    NicsFirst
    Member

    It has been exactly 11 days since I found out my little one was now with the angels.
    This was my first pregnancy, my husband and I have been married for almost 4 years, and I was so excited to be pregnant. I was 13 weeks and 1 day pregnant when I had my routine checkup – I was so excited to hear the baby’s heartbeat. I was fortunate to have an ultrasound at 9 weeks and my husband and I witnessed the baby’s heartbeating, so I did not expect one this time. I brought my mom with me, so proud to be first time Grandma, I wanted to share this moment with her.
    The nurse used the small doppler on my belly and had trouble finding the heartbeat. The craziest feeling went over me and I just knew something was wrong. I started to cry and the nurse assured me the baby was fine, but she then went to get my doctor. My doctor tried the doppler as well, but I already knew my baby had died. I cried non stop as the doctor went to get the ultrasound machine….I knew there was no reason for it.
    I just glanced at the screen for a quick second because I could not believe what was happening to me. I saw my lifeless little one and could tell that the body shape was abnormal. I cried…and cried and cried. My husband met me at the doctors, he was all that I wanted for that moment.
    My D&C was scheduled for the following day. The hospital, my doctor and all the nurses were absolutely amazing. As emotional and sad as I was, they really helped me cope and understand what was going on. The surgery was easy and so was the recovery, the hardest part is the emotional aspect of losing your unborn child.
    Everyday I think about my baby and there is nothing that truly makes sense to me. I just wish this whole thing never happened and my little one would be in my arms this November. Unfortunately, I know this is realty and I have to make it through one day at a time.
    I thank God for giving me my husband as he has been so amazing though the entire process. Our love has grown stronger and I know we will be great parents some day.

    #9269677

    Micheele
    Member

    Hi I lost my first child Georgia 17 years ago I was full term I had my second child who is now 3 and six weeks ago I lost my twins at 20 weeks I am so frighten to try again but feel if I don’t my son will never have the chance to have a sibling bond I am a very strong person as losing 3 children has made me that way however I don’t think my partner would be able to take a second lost Georgia was not his daughter, guess I’m looking for advice of others that have been in my shoes and have to carry the heartache which doesn’t get better in time we just learn to deal with it a little better year by year xx

    #9269678

    alexaaronsmom
    Participant

    Recently, I went in for my first appointment at almost 11 weeks. Unfortunatley, it was not good. I found out that my baby had stopped growing around 7 weeks and the sac at 9. There was no heartbeat. I had a ultrasound done early in the 7th week and everything was fine. Baby had a good strong heartbeat and everything. Apparently it didn’t last long after that. This is my 3rd pregnancy. I have 2 other boys, 5 and 1. I am glad I have them, but sad and mad right now. I had no bleeding, spotting, or cramping. IT just stopped growing. I’ll never know why and that bothers me.

    #9269679

    QuiverFull
    Member

    My name is Teresia. iam a birth and bereavement doula and childbirth educator. i wanted to let everyone here know about a great resource: stillbirthday.com if you have experienced a pregnancy loss it is a wonderful place to get answers and it can also be a place for you to help other moms experiencing loss. they are starting a new mentoring program if you are interested in being mentored or being a mentor. please visit the site and tell me what you think! i pray it is a source of comfort to you!

    #9269680

    lucky13
    Member

    I am joining you ladies with the loss of a pregnancy. I was 12 weeks yesterday when I learned that my poor baby no longer had a heartbeat. I started spotting very lightly Thursday. This weekend it got a little heavier and had some red (which I knew was bad). The on-call doctor told me since I had already been to an appointment and the baby had a heartbeat of 180 bpm that I didn’t have to go to the emergency room & to follow-up with my doctor on Monday. My doctor is great and fit me right in. The doctor didn’t seem concerned when he came in the office. He used the doppler and couldn’t find a heartbeat. He told me not to worry since I was only 12 weeks sometimes its hard to find and he went and grabbed the internal us machine. As soon as he started I saw my nurses face & she looked at the doctor and blocked my vision from the screen. I asked ‘good or not good’ and the doctor replied ‘not good’. There was no heartbeat. I started crying & couldn’t stop. The nurse, whom I’ve known since I’ve been going there since I was 15 so 15 years, hugged me and gave me a tissue. They explained that miscarriage is very common. I know it’s common but it’s still hard. You never think it will happen to you, especially after you make it so close to the safe mark & see that little heartbeat. I text my husband b/c I couldn’t talk and he left work right away. The doctor sent me to imaging for a confirmation with a better ultra sound. That was torture. Here I am, just finding out the horrible news & crying so hard with make-up all over my face and I have to sit in a waiting room with a bunch of strangers. Luckily my husband showed up so fast. I broke down when he walked in. The staff was very nice but it seemed to take forever to get back in the room. We went back & they couldn’t get the machine to pull my info. We were there forever…1st for a regular ultra sound then an internal. I stared at the wall the entire time because I didn’t want to have an image stuck in my head. After we were finally done we were stuck in this room that had a wall full of 4D us pics of babies. Again, the computer was not working so the tech couldn’t get the images to the doctor. By this time is was 10 of 12:00 and I had been stuck in doctor’s offices since 9:00. I was starving & had a horrible headache. They let us leave and we went to have lunch before we had to go back to my doctor’s office AGAIN. We went to Olive Garden & I devoured the most fattening food and had a huge margarita. I managed to not cry at lunch but then it was back to my doctor to read the results. They confirmed the same he found and I had to chose to a d&c or to allow my body to miscarry naturally. I, emotionally, cannot handle waiting. I’m scheduled tomorrow for the procedure. I woke up today with horrible cramping & lower back pain. I can barely stand up straight. I guess my body is starting the natural process. Luckily my job & my hubby’s job are amazing & we have as much time off as we need. I’m in my room now, alone, with my heating pad. I don’t want to even try to be around people or talk about what or how I’m feeling. I would rather sulk alone. I’m glad this site is here so I could pour this all out. I knew this pregnancy was too good to be true. I was tired & had sore, swollen bbs but never any MS. Except for being tired I didn’t ‘feel’ pregnant. Maybe that was my sign? Thanks all for listening. ((HUGS))

    #9269681

    boomerette
    Member

    I have three wonderful boys ages 6,4,2 and we werent planning on more. I just felt pregnant and being on birth control thought there was no possible way. But my boobs were big, my pee was darker and my smell was amazing. I thought I will just buy a test to be safe. The month before, I had my period for two days only which I thought was odd. Buying a test just to double check the next month when my period didnt arrive. I took the test and to my suprise I was prego! I was in SHOCK to say the least. So in SHOCK that I took about 5more tests to confirm it and went to a medicenter to get sent for bloodwork because I didnt believe it. Bloodwork came back and I was officially pregnant. I had mixed feelings at first, as time went on I got really excited and excited it might be a girl! Or not…! LOL I finally got to the point where I was looking forward to a new baby, the smell, the cries, the coos that would later come. I ordered some maternity clothes. Got an early ultrasound because I had NO idea how far along I was and they said I was only 5wks6days prego which suprised me…anyways time went on….ON vacation, of all places, I started spotting. Teh second I saw that spotting I knew I was losing the baby. I was disheartened, angry, mad, sad, annoyed(at other pregos&on vacation there were a LOT of pregos). My husband told me to just relax and stay in bed. I did for a bit. Then his mom came and took me and the boys out for dinner. ON the way to dinner I had to stop for some pads at Wal Mart as soon as I purchased them I had to run to the bathroom, OF all places why did it have to be ine a WALMART, it was so weird just flushing the toilet and walking away. Then again at dinner I had to run to the bathroom. I was so upset. I could hold it together b/c I knew it was happening after spotting so I expected it. I went to the hospital there, they were really good and thorough, sent me for an ultrasound, spent time in and out of the hospital for 2days just for them to tell me what I already knew. I [email protected] 8weeks. I know God has a plan. WE werent trying and werent planning on a 4th until NOW! We are currently ttc and I am hoping and praying that God will bless us with another child. I know things happen for a reason and I have helped so many people because of my loss. It still saddens me at times but I know without a shadow of a doubt that this was supposed to happen, nature took its course, and God made positive out of it. I am sorry for the losses of any miscarried baby/babies and I hope things get better or have gotten better! Blessings to you all with Angels in Heaven!

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