ttc 45+

This topic contains 13 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  Inkedmama9 6 months, 3 weeks ago.

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    Hello everyone! I’m 47, married, no kids. My DH and I have been TTC for 9 years already. I’ve got pregnant in 2012, but there was problem with my kidneys and doctors had to terminate pregnancy. There is a very high risk for me to get pregnant again. We decided to use services of surrogate mother. Surrogacy is forbidden by law in our country and we are looking for options abroad. Which country is better to go? Which clinics are better to address? How long it takes to find sm? I read that sometimes it takes years. Is that true? I’m not getting any younger. I’m afraid that my eggs won’t be valid in a couple of years. I don’t want to lose time. I’m afraid it may be too late for us and there will be no chance to become parents.



    Hello everyone who is reading my thread! I wasn’t active for a while… I haven’t done any research on surrogacy during more than a week… It makes me so angry at myself that I’m wasting time, but… There is a reason for my inaction. I don’t want to whine and complain. I know that doing those things is just a waste of time. But I feel like I need to talk to someone. It feels like the whole world is against our intention to have a baby. Last week I met my old friend. We studied in college together. We met in a local supermarket. She was with her kids, 9 and 2 yo. Of course she started to ask about my kids and I told her I don’t have one. And she was like “OH REALLY?” She was looking at me like I’m crazy person. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment is to disappear. I wanted to explain myself and I don’t know how this happened but I told her that we are planning to have surrogacy. Usually I don’t tell about it and only the closest people know about it. And what do you think she told me? “Oh honey, don’t be stupid. It’s too late for you. Just let it go.” And she was stupidly smiling and she had that dumb smirk on her face as if she knows everything about me and can tell me what I have to do with my life. Not only I was mad at her, but I was mad at myself. Why? Why have I told that bitch about surrogacy? Why I even care what she thinks? I have so many thoughts in my head now! I’m so angry! Why do I care what someone who means nothing for me thinks about my choices? And I’m just sitting here, doubting my intentions to have surrogacy. What if she’s right? What if it’s too late for us? I hate this.



    Hello girls! To be honest I’ve been stressed last couple of days or even weeks… All these negative thoughts made me lost in time… I’ve been thinking over and over again about all that things which my “friend” told me. She made me doubt about my choice and this is not a good thing. This was a huge lesson for me. No one should stop us from reaching our goals. There are so many people who think they can tell us what to do. They judge us so easily. They don’t even think they can hurt our feelings and our mind. But the thing is they don’t know how we feel and what we have to face during our battle with infertility. The best thing for us is to just ignore them and do what is the best for us and our family. I understand that I was so stupid that I let her words to make me doubt in the thing which is now my only option to have children. I wasted so much time thinking about her words, thinking about her opinion which has nothing to do with me. I’m so glad to be back here. I will definitely continue my search about surrogacy. I don’t have time for stress, depressions, for thinking if this option is good for me or not. Because I’ve already decided that surrogacy is the best for me and my husband. Anyway these days helped me to understand that no one and nothing will stop me from reaching my goal. I will never ever listen to anyone who would tell me surrogacy is wrong and not for me. I will do everything possible to make my family happy. To make myself happy. From now on I will find all information I need to start my surrogacy journey. This will be kind of a challenge for me. In a month I want to see huge result. I want my journey to start in 2018. So I will do everything to make it happen.



    Hello! I wish you luck in research. I don’t know much about surrogacy. Hope you will find a good clinic that has experience in surrogacy. Don’t listen what people say to you. If you are feeling Ok and ready to have a baby in your age it’s only up to you. If you decided to try with surrogacy nobody can say that you are wrong or that you haven’t got the chance to do that. Start your research and think hard. I wish you all the best.



    Thank you so much for support! I’ll consider your advices. It’s so nice to talk to someone about it. We’ve been TTC for so long… To be honest I’m exhausted. I want my surrogacy journey to start as soon as possible. I’m tired of waiting and hope for nothing. I believe surrogacy will give us a chance to live happily. I decided to concentrate on European clinics. They have pretty reasonable prices. USA prices so high I doubt we can afford to have surrogacy there. I hope I’ll find something soon. Don’t want to waste time any more. I’ll update as soon as there will be some news.



    Hello everyone who is reading my thread! How you’re doing? What news do you have? I have a little update and I want to share it with you. So a couple of days ago I met my other friend. And what do you think? She started asking me is it true that we are planning to use surrogacy. When I asked how she knows she told me that B told her about it. B is the friend I met at a supermarket. I can’t believe she told everyone about it! I want to go back in time and take my words back! I suppose they discussed me and my plans about surrogacy. It drives me crazy when I think what they were talking about me. Anyway I can change nothing. I’m trying not to think about this situation. This is really stupid to think about what other people think about me. They know nothing about my life and situation I have. I’m keep going and looking for information about surrogacy. My husband and I will have a meeting with a lawyer in a couple of days. We want to discuss all aspects of surrogacy and how we can avoid risks. We have already made a list of questions which we want to discuss with our lawyer. I just wanted to ask maybe you have some advices what should we ask? I really want to know all information on law part. I hope we won’t miss any detail.



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    I think you should listen to your heart. If you listen all the others you will never decide what to do. You should research about surrogacy if you are interested in. I don’t know much about it, only that you must find a good clinic. With that I can help you. I was in Ukraine In BioTexCom. I don’t want to rush you into decision. You must learn by yourself what is the best option for you. Take your time, think hard and act.



    You have to be careful if you are thinking about surrogacy. Some countries have politics that doesn’t allow this treatment. I know that in Ukraine you can go for surrogacy without fear. Visit a page Hope you will find some information there.



    Hello OP! I have same concerns now. My dh and I have been ttc for 8 years already. I’ve got pregnant 2 years ago, but I’ve lost my baby on 7th month. I’ve lost my fertility and there no chance for us to conceive any more. Not only it’s hard for me to even think about surrogacy, I’m still in pain after our loss, but also prices make it seem like there is no chance for us to have children. I’ve been thinking to ask my dh sister or my bff to carry a baby for us. I made some hints while talking to them. It was clear for me they don’t want to do this. And I don’t blame them! I understand that not everyone is ready to become a surrogate. So now I hope to find cheaper options… I know that there are not really expensive variants in Europe. My dh is completely for going there. He makes his own research. Maybe he’ll find something… But I think it’s better to go to US. High prices show that there is high guarantee of success. At the same time it’s so upsetting that we will have to take a loan to have surrogacy there… To be honest, I’m lost. I feel bad all the time. This whole situation is so stressful…



    Surrogacy can certainly help you… it’s never too late either for surrogacy. You can try reproductive tourism, several countries offer it and you can choose based on affordability and distance from your country of residence. However, since you clearly mentioned it’s banned in your country it’s necessary you check about the provisions and paperwork on how your child born to a surrogate abroad could be brought back to your country with proper citizenship documents. Some clinic offers that assistance some don’t, for ones that don’t you’ll probably need the help of a legal attorney to get you though.



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    I wish you the best of luck. There are a lot of countries where surrogacy is legal. Not all of them cheap but you can find some affordable options. I’d be happy to help you out with your search!



    Well, it’s a 2-year-old post, so I hope you did find a solution already. Sometimes it takes of struggle with infertility issues to have a baby finally but I guess considering your case was a race against time already there wasn’t much wasted in contemplating the options. TBH as a person who’ve had to struggle, I’d rather not wish anyone to have a stretches infertility struggle anyway no matter what the issue is. In your case, I guess the surrogacy clinics are really doing good in handling menopausal women. But I’d still insist that you consult for IVF first even if it sounds impossible. I have recently been reading stories about the success of IVF with women in their late 40’s… some clinic specialises in cases with menopausal women. Also, there’s the recent advent of reproductive regeneration as well which is spiking-in healthy ovulation in a woman who’ve already had their menopause… but I don’t have much detail on it. I guess searching online will help you with the information or at least a contact to get to know the process in detail. Wish you all the luck in the world!! stay well

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